Love me or Die
by RedGobletOfRoses
Summary: The story told by a Konoichi that takes her through a web of tangled relations and flashbacks of a past that doesn't seem to exist. She is forced to endure hurt, tears, love, hate, lust, power, honour, revenge, and more. Strong Language and sexual content
1. Stage One

_Author's Note_

_I promise that you shall not see many of these throughout any of my stories. This is generally a one time per story thing. There are just a few things I want to say before beginning __Love Me or Die_.

_First is that you are all free to message me with any questions or comments about the story. If you have something you want verified or clarified, I'll willingly do so. _

_Second is that if you have a suggestion or request either comment it, or send me a message and I will see what I can do. I cannot guarantee it's going to go in the story, but I will take it into consideration._

_Third is that I really love reviews. It means that I'm not just a mediocre author. That could either be good or bad, but I'll take my chances. ;] Thank you for you time, this is all I wanted to say. _

_~Rose_

STAGE ONE: BEGINNINGS

I ran. That was the only thing I could think to do. With the smell of a desert night around me and the feeling of sand under my feet, I was kept grounded in reality. Without these, I would have thought I was dreaming; even then I thought it was a nightmare. My mind went blank. I couldn't see, I couldn't think, and I couldn't stop the tears. I was the last one left. I was the only one left.

I watched helplessly as the scene played before my eyes. Over and over again I heard the screams of my mother as she witnessed her first-born slaughtered before her. I couldn't make a sound as my sister's blood covered the walls. They then turned on her; the woman I knew and loved was killed. I wondered where my father was, but knew he was either already dead or about to die. Then it would be my turn.

The desert night that surrounded me was featureless; I had no idea where I was going. I knew that I was headed east; Konoha is to the east. I couldn't stop running; they were sure to look for me. The Akatsuki never gave up what they were looking for. I knew they were looking for me. They tore my house apart looking for me when I escaped their grasp through the back doors. If I were to stay, my fate would be in the unforgiving hands of the Akatsuki.

I had no clue where I was. I haven't even had a full year's worth of training at the academy. I was just six years of age; that wasn't old enough to be out on my own. I had to keep running. I had to make it to the border. I couldn't stay in my home; Sunagakure was better off without me anyway. They had Him to deal with.

I woke with a jump to a destroyed room around me. I was panting, and I felt exhausted, almost as if I were running instead of resting. I looked around, searching for something that provoked my nightmare. I never found anything. The only explanation for this was my conscience telling me that I shouldn't have survived. That is why I can't sleep, not without destroying everything in the room. I will always be plagued with insomnia. It is a part of my curse.

My breathing slowly calmed to an inaudible rasp as adrenaline pulsed through me. This happened to me every time I slept. All of my things were shattered; they are meaningless possessions. Nothing of real value. Mostly china and such objects that could be replaced with a thousand yen. I had more than enough money to get me by. Sensei saw to that.

I pushed myself to get out of the bed, now drenched in sweat. Walking past a mirror, my reflection stared back at me with violet eyes. My maroon hair was wet, sticking to my forehead and back as well to the sharp lines of my heart shaped face. The mirror was cracked and a shard was missing from the top corner, which lay at my feet; I don't need to worry about the luck, as mine never improves. I don't think it ever will.

Konohagakure was silent as the grave through my open window. The warm air breezed through, flirting with the curtains. The moon was full outside, outshining all the stars that twinkled their lives away. If only my fate were so simple. I will never know the simple pleasures of life. This is a part of my curse.

I walked into the darkness, knowing that I wouldn't find relief inside; I wasn't meant to be kept inside walls anyway. Konohagakure was strange to me; so alien compared to my home. Yet, at the same time, I felt as though I had been here before; it seems this place was embedded in my blood. I felt nostalgia when I walked through certain places, but no memories came. They never come. I don't remember; I can only dream of memories. Those memories I can't view, go back on, or study on my own. All I have is what I dream of, which is always just the same thing. I can't even tell that they are entirely real.

I found myself at the academy, looking up at the moon. I sat on the swing and let my feet dangle on the ground, rousing the top layers of soil beneath my black leather boot. I looked to the heaven when I felt alone, and tonight I was as alone as I have ever been. I felt a tear slide down my face; the closest to crying I have ever been allowed to come. I haven't wept since I was a small child, forced to be strong in the hands of the man who would come to shape me into a Konoichi.

"Tsuki," my name was whispered.

I didn't even turn back to see who it was that addressed me. "Sasuke," I answered.

He walked up to me, and gazed at the moon by my side. "Do you ever wonder if your parents are watching you?" he asked solemnly.

I know his pain too well. "Not really," I answered. "I bet they have better things to do than to watch me. I have wondered if they resent me for surviving, though."

He leaned against the old tree and sighed, sinking to the earth below the leaves. "At least you weren't chosen to stay behind," he replied to me. His depression shone through as clear as the light from tonight's full moon.

"Sometimes I do wonder if I was chosen. Destiny has taken a liking to tormenting me, why wouldn't it have been the same when I was a child?" I asked.

He sighed. It meant 'I know what that feels like,' in Sasuke's mind. "Do you ever ask yourself why?" He gazed at me, with a look of curiosity in his onyx eyes.

"No," I answered. "If I knew, then I wouldn't be so determined to find out. I wouldn't have a drive anymore." I kicked the ground, pushing myself back then coming forward like a pendulum until gravity stopped me. "I would not be alive anymore."

"Do you want revenge?" he asked waiting for me to come back to a rest. I knew the tone behind his voice to be seeking redemption for his fate.

"Sometimes," I answered. "It is not required of me as it is of you, but I feel that it is why I am left. I don't know if I should, though."

"Why not? An eye for an eye, Tsuki."

"I guess it's what they want of me. I don't fit into expectations well; I would rather do my own thing than follow someone else's dream. Besides, an eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind."

He looked down at the grass he stood on. "I understand your answer, but it is one that I could not chose as my own. Hate has already consumed me, and it's too late to go back."

"It's easy to fall into someone's trap of a dream for you. I understand that you were ticked at a young age, and avenging is an honorable quest." I sighed. "You should sleep, Sasuke."

"As you should," he answered. He rose to his feet again.

"If only I could," I answered. "Tomorrow is a big day, the first of the exam students come in.''

He merely shrugged as he stalked off. "See you, Tatsuki-chan."

I looked at the moon again. "Tomorrow is the day I get to see Sensei again," I whispered to myself. "It has been too long."

My orders were crystal clear: stay hidden. I cannot risk letting my impatience get in the way of the mission at hand. I can't associate myself with Sensei. They cannot know. I sighed heavily as I watched the Sand siblings walk into town. Their sensei walked behind them, parting as he walked into the hotel. No doubt they were allowed to run free while he did all of the paper work.

I hated that lot. Each the sons and daughter of the Kazekage. Each arrogant in their own little way. I may not be noble, but I know that it is wrong to allow superiority to get in the way of your duties. Perhaps if I was, I would hate myself for being the same way. I found it sickening when I met them. The girl is a snob, the youngest wants to kill me, and the eldest wishes only to look after himself. Selfish, they are, with no priorities or sense of team work. It won't be long before they die because of it.

It was an hour before I caught a glimpse of him. My sensei is my weakness, and he doesn't even see it. In a sense, Orochimaru is all of our weaknesses, at least, to those who serve him. I owe that man my life, and it is because of this I am so strong. I feel he expects more of me, but I will never know. He is a man of strange ways and even stranger habits. He knows so much, yet seeks to learn as if he knew so little. An enigma is he, a puzzle nigh impossible to solve and a riddle that sits on your conscience because you feel the answer is so simple, but you cannot find it. Orochimaru is far from being simple.

I have waited six months for him to arrive: just long enough to be considered a leaf Shinobi. I have been put to work by the old Hokage, but always on my own. I have found I like being alone. Being a chuunin suites me in this way. People only prove to be a liability.

Did I understand the purpose of me being sent so far ahead? Not at the time. Do I now? No, I still don't know. He has told me to keep my eyes open and my ears keen. An enigma through and through. Only he could confuse me in such a way. It makes me want to pull my hair out. As I thought this, I looked down at my fingers to see a thread of purplish red hair fluttering in the breeze. So he makes me pull out my hair already. Bloody brilliant.

I was sent for in the wee hours of the morning. I was awake, working on a scroll to present to Sensei. Kabuto walked in just as I had rolled it up. "Orochimaru-sama wishes to see you," he sneered. "You seem well. Here I was thinking you would die without being by his side."

"No, I have not died. Besides, I would last far longer than you would without him," I retorted. I have no patience for Kabuto. He is a foolish boy. He may be smart, but he lacks common sense.

He laughed at my comment. "Don't wait too long, you know how impatient he gets."

Orochimaru's impatience had nothing on my hatred of his messenger standing before me. "I know this," was all I answered as I gathered the papers, the scroll I had just finished, and a thick journal, then piled them into a rucksack.

"What is all of that?" he demanded.

"For Orochimaru to know and for you to inquire about."

"Your formality angers me," he hissed.

I only smiled in return, revealing my fang-like canines. He led the way out, followed closely by myself. The comment, "Damnable catty woman," drifted back to me. I smirked at the back of his head, feeling accomplished. It had only been five minutes and he was already fuming with irritation.

Kabuto knocked on the door, only to be pushed past as I entered without invitation. Orochimaru looked up from the desk he was sitting at due to my sudden entry, but did not say a word. I felt Kabuto's glare from the hallway. "You have called for me, Sir?"

"I have," he answered. He looked back at the paper he was writing and the scratching of a pen filled the desolate silence. It was a few minutes before he put the pen down and addressed me. "What information do you have for me?"

I handed him my backpack. "I have kept record of anything and everything relevant to you, our plan, or the plots of others. I have intercepted letters on my missions for the Hokage and made copies for you."

"And the scroll you were working on?" Kabuto prodded.

I didn't have to say anything back. "The scroll is for me to read only," Orochimaru hissed.

Kabuto quickly apologized. He broke rule number three in my book: Don't apologize for anything. Another reason I don't like him. He has a weak character.

Orochimaru addressed me. "You have provided me much to look over. We shall see if it proves worth my time. Until then, you will await my next summon. You are dismissed." His voice was as cold as ever; he didn't give anything away if he felt I had done adequate work or not. He never does.

I walked past Kabuto to leave, when Orochimaru called back to me, "It was a good choice to befriend the Uchiha." There was a mischievous tone in his voice that told me he was plotting more than what I knew.

I glanced back at him. "Thank you, Sensei. I am glad to be of use to you." My tone was as heartless as his, but there was some meaning in my words.

I walked back to my apartment that I had rented some time back, thinking of the nature of Orochimaru. He is a monster. A vile, evil man who has no priorities other than himself. I stopped in the street and asked myself why I approve of him. I began walking again and realized that I would take the backhanded slap of reality over a silly, idle fantasy any day. He is my reality: the world is just as cruel as he is. So many people love this world and all of its cruelty, yet no one loves Orochimaru.

Tayuya asks me if I regret running to Orochimaru. She hates him with a passion of hell's inferno. I told her that I don't remember why I came here. I don't, for my past is a mystery to me. I have blocked everything else out prior to joining ranks with the Sound. I told her that because of this, I don't know if I would regret Orochimaru or not.

"_You're a big fucking mystery, Tsuki," she hissed at me._ "_I understand Orochimaru more than I will ever understand what the hell you mean."_

_I turned my back on Tayuya. "I don't care if you understand me, if you understand Orochimaru, or if you even understand yourself. You asked me a question and I answered it." I began walking away from her._

"_You answer in riddles when I ask you to tell me what you mean. Shitty response either way you look at it."_

"_Then it's a shitty response, but a response all the same." I walked out on her, leaving her swearing at me._

Orochimaru holds Tayuya against her will. She quickly saw that, no matter her own nature, his is far worse. He has blackened her conscience, and turned her even colder that she already was. I knew Tayuya when she had first gotten to the Sound. She was an angst-filled teen who didn't know where she belonged and had lived a life of crime. Her background wasn't great to begin with, and she didn't have a bright future either. She had potential, just as I have potential. My future is just as bleak as hers.

I pushed open the door to my apartment and walked in. Kin was sitting in the living room, waiting for me. "I see you're back sooner than expected, Tsuki-san."

"Orochimaru is to the point, yes. What is your purpose?" She knew she wasn't supposed to be here. I am supposed to have no affiliation with anyone from the Sound.

"Orochimaru sent me here."

I eased up a little. I can't object his will. "What does he intend?"

"He wants you and I to do a little digging on the Sound trio. He doesn't think that they are being completely open to him, and thinks perhaps we will have better luck."

"He must think it is the boys that aren't being open."

"He does. Temari is just, stubborn. He knows that she'll try to defeat whoever he sends to interrogate her."

"He means us to interrogate?" I asked. "Or does he want us to be a little more covert?" I sat down beside her.

"He said that was your call, because you have your own way with people."

I thought for a while, making movements in the air as I arranged my thoughts. Gaara has a tendency to kill. That thought went on my left side. Baki may try to get in the way. That one went to the right. Kankuro had some serious ego issues, so he went to the left. Eventually my thoughts complied into three different categories: Obstacles on the left, irrelevant issues in the center, and possible threats on the right.

On the left, I had Gaara being a threat to any wrong move made and has to be dealt with care, Kankuro has a delicate ego that mustn't be offended, neither trust anyone, time is needed to make any progress when we only have a week before the exams start, no one has any outstanding social skills between the four of us, and we all have boundaries as Shinobi that are going to be crossed. I also have that fine little fact that I hate the lot of them.

In the center, I have the fact that Gaara is the youngest, Temari's hairstyle needs a little help, Kankuro has a doll fetish (alright, I know they're puppets, but it's a round about way of fighting, and cowardly if you ask me), Gaara is a demon-holding Shinobi, their father is Kazekage, and their mother is dead. Not much use can come from this.

On the right I have Baki coming in and becoming protective, Temari trying her best to pick a fight (Kin takes about as much bull shit as I do, [none at all] which is why I like her), either of them trying to kill one of us, one of us trying to kill them, and Kabuto being Kabuto.

I voiced all of these thoughts to Kin, also stating that we should do this one on one; it's more personal and there's a chance that if one of them doesn't say anything, the other will. She agreed and stated she wanted Kankuro.

"Kankuro," I repeated. "Why him?"

"Gaara is just one of those kids you'd be able to relate to. He'd try to kill me straight off. You're the only one who has a chance of talking to him."

"Hmm," I grumbled. "He's already stated he's going to kill me if I get in the way."

"He didn't challenge you like he did to everyone else."

"No, you're right. He didn't. That doesn't mean he isn't going to."

"You have to avoid a fight at all costs."

"I am not sacrificing my pride. If he wants a fight, then I'll make sure to give him a fight to remember."

"Just don't die," she sighed. "Orochimaru needs you more than you think. You keep him from going insane sometimes. If not him, then the rest of us."

I laughed. He is sporadic sometimes. "Fine, I will take Gaara. We only have a week, remember."

"It's you who has to remember that. Kankuro doesn't avoid people like Gaara does. He isn't reserved."

"Ugh," I groaned. "I am."

"You're a little hard to get to know, but when you want to, you can get along with people." She shrugged to emphasize her point.

"Most of the time I don't want to."

"This isn't a choice."

"I know." I groaned again.

She got up and walked out the door, yawning because of the late hour. I reclined on my sofa and stared at the door she had just closed, thinking of what it would be like to be able to sleep without harming everyone in the room. It must be nice.

I followed her out the door an hour later and walked to the swing outside the academy. I knew that Sasuke wasn't going to be there tonight. For him to show up is rare. The academy looked ominous in the dark, as if some unknown evil lurked behind the walls waiting for me to be foolish enough to enter. I have never set foot in an academy and I likely never will. I was "home-schooled" for all of my education. Orochimaru shaped me into his own model of "the perfect Ninja", with minor flaws and a major attitude. He's working on either getting rid of those, or finding the second generation of me without them.

I am not changing.

I heard a sigh above me and looked up. Sitting in a tree was a certain sand Shinobi who wanted nothing more to see me laying in my own pool of blood: "Gaara."


	2. Stage Two

Stage Two: Friendship

Gaara looked down upon me when I had called his name. "What do you want," he demanded. Dread filled his voice; he didn't want to talk to me.

"I don't want anything," I answered. I sat down on the swing and stared the other way, my back to the moon he was gazing at.

"Why are you here?" he hissed at me.

"The same reason you are," I answered, my tone equally cold.

He sighed again and got up, jumping from the tree to my level. "To think I was at peace," he said before disappearing in a cloud of sand.

"Then don't invade my spot," I growled. Kin's words of being the only one who can relate to him sounded in my head. It was my turn to sigh. "He's such a pain in the ass!" he yelled. I then became aware of the odd sensation I get when I am being watched: my neck itched. I scratched it, and looked over my shoulder to see Gaara's silhouette against the pale moon. He was looking at me. No, he was watching me.

I got up from the swing and began to walk toward him; I saw him shift uncomfortably. I passed the building he was sitting on and continued on my way, heading to the training field. I could hear him follow me, but I didn't pay any attention to him. He wanted to provoke me, and I could think of no other way to get me to start a fight than to annoy me.

I felt his presence at the edge of the trees when I jumped to the top of s thick, wooden pillar. I didn't know why he was watching me, I didn't want to know why. It was probably some attempt to learn something. If he really wanted to fight me, he would have attacked me by now. "I know you're there," I called to him.

I heard a rustle and a thud, telling me he had jumped down. He walked to the pillar adjacent to me and sat at its base. He was still watching me with cold, hate-filled eyes. "Now you can be sure that I'm here."

"What is your problem, Kid?" I asked.

His eyes cast me a glare that was set in an arctic chill. "Don't call me a Kid," he growled.

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't here," I answered.

He remained silent. I watched him rise and fall with each breath, counted every blink, and noted every rare shift in his position. I knew he was doing the same to me. I was being studied by someone I was observing myself. I knew that his night vision was developed enough to match mine with Shukaku, but I didn't know what it was he was looking for.

"What?" I eventually ended up shouting. I expected him to jump a little, but he didn't.

"You're not moving." All he managed to say was that I wasn't moving? What did this have to do with anything? "You're not running from me, you're not edging away from me, you're not even looking away."

"I'm not afraid of you," I hissed.

His eyes narrowed. "I can easily change that."

"Go ahead and try, kid."

The cork to his gourd shifted and rattled, but was then still. He had thought better of attacking me. "I can't, you're on my team."

"I am not on the same team as you and your arrogant brats for siblings. I would rather let you kill me than be subjected to that torture," I spat.

He blinked twice then answered, "There are days when I feel the same way." He continued to stare me down until I answered.

"Then kill them and move on with your life. Hell, kill your whole village. Saves me a lot of trouble," I retorted.

"That day will come, but for now, I must wait," he heartlessly informed me. "Your time will also come, when I am not bound to be your comrade."

"I eagerly await the day I will teach you a lesson." I folded my arms in annoyance. "What happened to the quiet kid who doesn't say anything to anyone? I think you killed him too."

A growl escaped his throat. "Don't pretend you know me. You don't know if I am normally quiet or if I prefer to talk all day."

"I do know. It's all in your posture and expressions. You look so uncomfortable, even one on one. It makes you irritable having me here, indifferent to your threats and curses. You hate it more than you think the world hates you!"

I struck a nerve. Sand poured out of its shell and began to surround me. I cast up a barrier of pressurized air around me before he went in for the kill. "I will kill you if you don't apologize."

"Rule number three, don't apologize. Try it, see how far you get," I challenged. He squeezed and became obscured from my vision by the grains of sentiment trying to trap me in its bounds. I had three minutes to wear down his defense before I ran out of air. Keeping my breathing normal, I sent out a burst of electricity through the barrier, charging the particles to super speed. They were much harder to control now that they were moving. Glass formed around my left side from the bolt and dropped to the ground only to shatter.

I could see the perspiration gather on his brow as he struggled to calm the sand. I thrust out the barrier, breaking for a split second to regain fresh air. Sand had fallen into my dome, but the chakura was broken from it. It lay inches above the grass, suspended by the unseen force of my bubble. The wave of sand that didn't become trapped settled to the ground where it lie motionless. Gaara was panting now; he had felt the full charge of my jutsu in his very core. I was shocked he was moving at all.

The sand retreated; he would become stronger the next time he challenged me. "Never before," he muttered in disbelief. "Why didn't you kill me?"

"I have no need to dispose of you," I answered with a glare. "You're not a threat to me or my life."

"What do you want from me," he asked.

"I want nothing from you," I replied.

"Then why do you remain where you are?" he asked.

"I was here first, and you're not a threat to me."

"There is something else there."

"Maybe there isn't," I retorted.

He looked across the line of threes he had come from. "You're different, Tsuki."

"How am I so different."

"You don't run from me, you don't fear me, and you won't be killed by me."

"Hmm," I sighed. "Well, it sounds like I think you're a regular person."

"I am not a regular person." He snapped his glare back at me. "Regular people don't have to deal with a demon living inside them!"

"Of all the people I have known to hold demons, you're the only one bent on killing everyone around you. Killing people who may not have any resentment for you at all."

"Why don't you resent me?" he asked

"Do you want me to?" I countered.

"Answer me!" he commanded.

I sighed. "I don't resent you because I know what you're going through, more so than you can ever imagine anyone to understand."

"How can you hope to understand what it is like to be a Jinchuriki?"

"Being one of the ten, I can't. But I do understand what it is like to be a demon."

Shock lightened his eyes. "How?"

"You don't think that the tailed beasts are the only demons, do you? Look at the Sanin! They summon demons all the time."

"So you're like me?" he asked.

"In a manor of speaking, yes."

"This is why Orochimaru wants you?"

"The only reason I can see fit."

"Why tell me this?" he asked. "Why trust me with something so powerful if used against you?"

"Because I know you won't," I answered. "You have no reason to." I bounded from the pillar and walked into the trees, leaving him in the dawning sunrise.

I had placed a lot of trust in Gaara. He didn't seem the type to use it against me, but what did I know? He just tried to kill me. I walked back to my apartment in silence, passing Sasuke on my way. He didn't notice me, so I kept my steady, rhythmic pace. I was worried about what Orochimaru would do when he finds out I told him.

Turns out, not a lot.

Orochimaru was waiting for me in the living room where I had met Kin earlier. "You met the boy, I take."

"I did, Sensei."

"What did you do?"

"Yelled at him a lot, then he stalked off. He watched me from a roof, then I stalked off. He followed me, I called him out, we argued for a while, he tried to kill me, I drained him, he asked me why I killed him, and I told him I didn't need to. He asked me why I didn't fear him, or resent him, and I told him that I know what he's going through."

"You told him what you are," Orochimaru concluded.

I sighed. "Yes, I told him what I was."

"If anything, he's going to think you're lying to him."

"Perhaps. He wants to know why I trust him with knowing, though."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that he has no reason to use it against me."

"Does Sasuke know, I wonder?"

"No, I never told Sasuke. He might think something, though."

"When you left Gaara, how did you feel?"

I arched an eyebrow in curiosity. "I felt as though I had just gotten done talking to Kabuto, to be honest. Annoyed, and as if I was wasting my time."

"If all goes well, it won't be a waste of time."

"If you say so, Sensei. I have no choice but to trust you."

He didn't say anything, but pulled out the journal I had presented to him. "It seems that the people know more than the Hokage does, doesn't it?"

"It does," I answered. "It seems he has just dismissed it as rumors that aren't true."

"Just to be mistaken," Orochimaru laughed. "The old man is a fool."

"A fool," I repeated. I was staring blankly out the window.

Orochimaru looked out there two, but when he saw nothing that would catch my interest, he asked, "What ails you, child?"

"It is nothing, just a sense of deja vu," I answered. "Have I ever been to the leaf village, Sir?" I looked into his golden eyes with hopes of an answer.

"Not that I am aware of, this should be your first visit." I feel he is hiding something from me, but I don't know what it is. All I remember is being six and taught by Orochimaru.

"I just can't shake the feeling that this place is important for some reason."

"Perhaps it is," he answered. "Do you like it here?"

"I hate it here," I honestly answered. "The feelings aren't good ones, Sensei. I feel as though something bad has happened."

"Or is about to happen," he added.

I eased up. "That could be it," I admitted.

"The guilt of knowing, dear child. That is all that ails you."

Relief hit me. "Thank you, Orochimaru."

He said nothing once more, and immersed himself once more in the leather bound journal. The only thing that disturbed him was the sound of someone at the door. I quickly answered it to see Kabuto standing there, flushed.

"Baki is furious at you, Tsuki."

Orochimaru closed the book and looked at him. "Why is he so angry with her?"

"Something is wrong with Gaara. No one can find him."

"This is my fault?" I asked.

Kabuto looked at me. "It's your fault he's angry."

"I didn't make him angrier than usual."

"Why did you confront him at all?" Kabuto yelled.

Orochimaru stepped in. "She was acting on orders from me, Kabuto."

"Orders?" he asked. He looked from Orochimaru, to me, then back again. "Orders to do what?" Orochimaru said nothing. Kabuto thought a while. "This is about your theory that they're withholding information?"

"Yes," he answered.

"And you sent _her_ to do this?!" he yelled. "We're never going to get anywhere."

"I'm not going to send _you,_" he hissed.

"You might as well, for the results you're going to get."

"Kabuto, do you remember the last time you doubted Tsuki?" Orochimaru laughed.

I chuckled. The last time Kabuto doubted me was two years ago, when I had been given a Katana for advancing to chunin. He ended up in medical care for a month.

"Tsuki," Orochimaru barked. "Go find out where the boy is. Settle this."

"Yes, Sensei."

* * * * *

It wasn't that hard to find Gaara. He was where I left him this morning. He looked up at me when I approached him. "What?" he asked.

"Your sensei is mad at me."

"Me too," he answered bitterly.

"Well, you're going to have to face that," I retorted.

"I don't have to do anything," he hissed.

I dropped down next to him. "No, but I'm not leaving until this is resolved." I grabbed his wrist. "You're not, either."

He glared at me. "Why does it matter?" he asked. "Why do you care if Baki is mad at you anyway?"

"I don't feel like kicking his ass," I answered. "Besides, he isn't the problem. You are." I rolled my eyes.

He grabbed my wrist and removed it from his hand. "You're not going to get anything out of me."

"You're angry because you can't kill me," I stated.

He looked at me. "Yes."

"I'm here, defenseless and alone." I leaned in, a mere inch away from his ear. "Kill me," I whispered.

His eyes grew wide as sand instantly surrounded me. "Don't do that." He pushed me away from him and released me. "I can't kill you." He sounded desperate and lost. He looked vulnerable.

I approached him again. "Something is wrong here, and it isn't anger." I sat down across from him, looking him in the eye. "You can tell me. Otherwise this isn't going to go away."

"I don't want to tell you."

"Don't want to tell me, or don't know how to tell me?" I asked.

"Both!" he angrily shouted. His voice cracked, giving everything away.

"You're sad," I observed. It was strange to hear, from someone so angry with the world. I didn't think he could be sad.

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Well, I was," I answered. "For five years I was sad."

He looked at me with hatred. "What happened to you that was so bad?" he growled.

"I watched my parents die," I answered. "Slaughtered before my eyes. My sister, too. Everyone I had cared about was killed."

"Why were they killed?" he asked, slightly less angry.

"For power," I answered. "The Akatsuki thought one of us was a tailed beast."

"You're lying to me."

Orochimaru was right, he would just pass me off as a liar. "Perhaps I am, but either way I know what you're feeling: solitude, hatred, sorrow, pain, despair, loneliness. It's not new to the world."

"I was okay, being on my own," he growled. "I have no problem feeling these things. It's all I have ever known. You took that from me."

Shock filled my mind: he wanted this. He wanted to be the last person left. He wanted to be blood thirsty. I knew he didn't care about the people around him, but I didn't think he wanted it to be this way. "Then kill me and take it back," I answered.

"For someone who was so willing to fight for dominance, you're all too willing to throw your life away." He glared at me. "Do you not have any value for your own life?"

"Not really," I answered. "If I die, then I'm dead and there isn't anything I can do about it. If I was meant to be killed by you, so be it."

"You haven't even experienced life yet, and you're willing to die already."

"I've had my fill of life already."

"Have you ever loved anyone?" he asked.

My mind thought of Orochimaru, but I didn't love him. I couldn't love him. "No, I haven't." It was the truth.

"Then you haven't had your fill."

"Some people aren't supposed to be in love."

He looked at me. "You're right, but you're not one of them."

"How do you know?" I asked, insulted. Love is weakness to me. I could never subject myself to it.

"You care too much."

"Funny, you say I care when so many others say I'm heartless."

"Then why do you care about me?" he demanded. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Is there something wrong with me? You can't change me, so don't waste your time trying."

"Change you, no. Understand you, yes. For someone so quick to point fingers, you're ignoring what's going on with yourself. You don't have to talk to me, you can just ignore me."

"You won't let me."

"I can't make you do shit, Gaara."

"Then why can't I kill you?" he demanded. "Why do you bother me so badly? You're doing this on purpose!"

"I'm not doing anything to you. You're doing this to yourself."

"Why would I do this to myself?"

I took a deep breath. I put my hand on his arm, but he shifted out of my reach.

"Don't do that," he growled. "It makes things worse." I stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked. He stood up in protest. "I'm not done with you."

"I am going to leave you alone," I answered. I took one step forward and left a kiss on his Ai tattoo and turned back. I knew what I was doing.


	3. Stage Three

Stage Three: Confessions

I wasn't really sure if I had done the right thing, but I did know that it wasn't smart. Sometimes doing the right thing is the dumbest thing you can do. Either he hated me a lot more, or he was willing to open up to me. All I knew was this: I couldn't go after him. He has to come to me. If he doesn't, all has failed. I can't have failure. Orochimaru is unforgiving, and he is all I have.

I sat on the swing and pressed myself forward, only to fall back the other way. Thoughts filled my mind about what I was going to do, but nothing seemed to work. Something kept telling me to apologize to the guy. I don't apologize.

I noticed a figure walk out of the academy. It was Sasuke. He approached me. "You and Gaara?" he asked.

"What about Me and Gaara?"

"I saw what you did."

"The kid needs a friend. No more."

"You kissed him."

"And?" I hissed.

"You've never kissed me," he pointed out.

I looked at him. "You have tons of girls swooning over you."

"And?"

"Well, I figured you get pissed if I tried."

"So you wanted to?" he asked.

"If you're thinking I love him, I don't."

"You just kissed him."

"I kiss all of my friends."

"You've never kissed me."

"You're going in circles."

He stopped my swing. "Do you honestly think I would of stopped you?" he demanded. He sounded angry with me. "Those girls are nothing, and you're the only friend I have. Do you think I care?"

"Apparently you care," I retorted.

"He challenged me, Tsuki. And now it's like he's challenging me again. You don't understand."

I sighed. "Sasuke, calm down."

"You're wasting your affection on someone who doesn't deserve it. He isn't capable of returning it, you know."

"I could say the same thing about you. You have affection thrown at your feet and you ignore it all."

"I can't be distracted and you know that."

"You're being distracted now!" I shouted. "Maybe I already know! Maybe I didn't want to distract you!" I stood up, forcing him to stand straight. "You're jealousy is clouding your mind."

"I am not jealous of him."

"Then you feel threatened."

"No, I don't feel threatened!"

"Then what is it? What is making you so angry?"

"He's standing in my way."

"You're way of what?" I demanded.

"In the way of you! You don't get it, Tsuki. There's a reason I'm open with you!"

"And what's that," I asked, "because you love me?"

He loosened up slightly. He looked confused, but it was a forced confusion. "Yes."

I was startled. "Sasuke, I never expected this from you. You were the one I thought would be beyond this."

He looked away from me. "You can't control when you fall in love, or who it's with. I don't know why it happened, or even when. Seeing you with Gaara, it pissed me off. I couldn't understand why. I couldn't even tell you what happened afterward. I blacked out, and now I'm here."

I wrapped my arms around him. "I don't know what you're going through, but I know it must be pretty bad."

He kissed my forehead, then pushed me away from him. "Don't fall in love with me, Tsuki. You're right. I am jealous and distracted. This is why I couldn't allow myself to love in the first place. It's something we agree on: weaknesses." He walked away from me, not looking back. I knew I wouldn't see Sasuke again for a while. It hurt me, knowing I had hurt one of my closest friends. It was a pain I was all too familiar with.

* * * * *

Two days had passed with no sign of them. Sasuke was throwing himself into training with Kakashi, and Gaara hasn't been seen at all. Orochimaru had been observing my method's affect on Gaara the whole time, but not telling me anything. He seemed distant, so I knew it wasn't good. I felt secluded.

I had taken to hiking through the forest when I had nothing to do. When I have nothing to do, I dwell on what has happened. When I dwell, I get depressed. I can't let that happen. While hiking, I worked on my chakura control. I'd see how long I can stand on the bottom of a branch or walk on the water for hours until I am too drained to do it any more.

Today was a day of rest for me. I had a book and was sitting by the stream, lost in the words of someone else's woes. No one knew where I was, or so I thought.

"Tsuki-san?"

I looked up to see Kin standing before me, watching me cautiously. "Yes?" I asked.

"Orochimaru wants to see you."

"Is he angry?" I asked.

"Very," she answered. Clearly he had gotten to her already, judging by the bruises on her arms. She tried to defend herself. Pointless.

I sighed and got up from the river bank, with my book in hand. I didn't wait for her to lead the way, I had to face him alone, just as she did. I walked with my head held high, knowing I was going to pay for screwing things up. He would only beat me down harder if he knew that I was dreading what was to come. I could show him no weakness, or be shown no mercy.

"You requested me, my Lord?" I asked, as I slid the door open.

He was standing with his back to me, looking out the window. His body was tense, but he did his best to hide it from me. He didn't even face me. "You and Kin were sent to find information, which neither of you seem to be able to uncover. The exams start in three days. It seems you have pushed him farther away from you!" He turned to face me slowly and fixed a glare into my eyes. It was a strong glare, but I didn't dare to blink it off. "What have you done, Tsuki. Explain yourself."

I looked him in the eye with a look so cold the temperature must have dropped three degrees. "Gaara is different from any other person you have asked me to pry information out of. He doesn't want a friend. He doesn't want to be talked to. He likes being alone, he enjoys other people's sorrow, and he hates me. He hates me because I didn't kill him when he tried to fight me. He hates me because I'm not afraid of him. He hates me because he can't kill me with a clean conscience. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Then force him," Orochimaru growled.

"I'll force him to do nothing," I hissed.

Orochimaru closed the space between us and struck the side of my face. I didn't flinch, and no sound escaped my lips. "Do not deny me again. You forget your place child." He grabbed my jaw with strength that bruised my flesh. "You aren't yourself, and I want to know what he has done to make you defy orders."

"He did nothing," I answered.

"You're lying," he whispered furiously. "What are you hiding from me, child?"

"I hide nothing."

"Who is he to you?" Orochimaru demanded.

"He is no one."

Orochimaru threw me to the floor. "You have three days, Child. Three days to get the information I desire. Do not disappoint me again. You know what awaits you if you fail."

* * * * *

I tracked down Kankuro after I regathered my composition. I healed my bruises and waited for the redness to die down. I was used to Orochimaru's wrath. I was used to hiding it, too. I found Kankuro shortly after I had left my apartment. He was sitting in Ichiraku, ordering a bowl of ramen. I sat to his left with a chair between us. He might tell me something Gaara wouldn't.

He looked at me and asked, "How long have you been here?"

I stared at the wall behind the old man as I answered, "Six months before you came."

"Why so early?" he asked me, trying to keep the conversation going. He wanted to ask more, but he couldn't with people around.

"Tired of where I was, I guess." I shot him a warning glare, then looked back at the old man who was serving me a bowl, even though I hadn't ordered.

I slipped money out, be he refused saying, "Already been paid for."

I looked at Kankuro. "You didn't have to buy me lunch."

"Doesn't mean I didn't want to." he slid his bowl over and sat beside me. "I figured I would take the chance to patch up the hatred you have for me."

"Not much you can do about it," I answered.

"Tell me why you hate me," he requested.

"You're egotistical," I answered. "You have a big head that needs deflated."

"Maybe you're just a bitch who can't look past my 'big head' long enough to see the real me."

"There's no maybe about it," I growled.

He relaxed a little and took a deep breath. "I'm s-"

"Don't you dare apologize to me," I warned. "I already know you're a weak character."

"There's nothing bad about admitting you're at fault," he retorted.

"You're saying you were wrong in the first place. If you're acknowledging you're fault, then how am I supposed to trust you to be right?"

"You're just going to have to trust me in the first place."

"I am not a trusting person."

"You trust Him," Kankuro hinted. "You trust Him and Gaara."

"I don't trust Gaara."

"Then why did you tell him that you're a-"

"Enough, Kankuro," I stated. My tone was softer than my words implied, but they had the same effect. I rose from my seat and left my uneaten ramen.

"You might want to tell Kin that she's not getting anything out of me."

I looked back at him. "No one expects her to," I answered. I lifted the cloth and stepped out into the sunny street. I was disappointed in what Kankuro had told me; he didn't tell me anything at all. What could I expect, though? I hate him and he hates it. There's a lot of hate between the sand siblings and myself.

I just began walking without any idea where I was going to go. I didn't care, honestly. The worst thing Orochimaru could do if I failed would be kill me, and I was ready to face death. He can expect me to fight, though. I know that I don't stand a chance against him, I just won't allow him to kill me without a fight.

I stopped walking at the edge of the training field. I didn't have to fight. I could leave, right now if I felt so inclined. He couldn't stop me; he wouldn't even know.

"Enjoying the show?" someone asked with sarcasm. I looked up to see someone glaring at me.

"I didn't even notice you," I answered truthfully. "I was thinking."

"Then leave, I don't need you here as a distraction."

His white eyes were empty, yet soulful and ambitious. "I'll leave, but can I know your name?" I asked.

"Neji Huuga," he answered cautiously. "Yours?"

"Tsuki Dentsu," I answered. Fulfilling my promise, I turned to leave. I didn't even look behind at him, even though his stare was burning into my neck.

I resumed my walking, contemplating running from the monster that I had known all my life. I remembered why I was with him in the first place: he was my backhanded slap of reality, which I needed to escape the fantasy realm which everyone seemed to reside in. What point would I make if I ran away from him now? I would tell him that I'm a coward who couldn't even complete the task at hand. A coward who couldn't even talk to a boy who wanted to kill her.

That gave me an Idea.

* * * * *

I kicked in the door to the Sibling's hotel room, which proved to hold Temari and Gaara inside. I turned to the red head and growled, "I need to talk to you, and if it's the last time I ever talk to you, so be it."

Temari's eyes widened, but she didn't say a word. She looked from me to the wrecked door that had splintered and was resting against the wall.

"Leave, Temari," Gaara commanded. She got up quickly and walked out, still in shock. She closed the damaged door behind her, but I knew she was listening.

I pressurized the air in front of the door tightly, insuring privacy. "You three are planning something against us and I want to know what," I barked.

"And what if I can't tell you?" he asked.

"Then I will sit here until you do." I sat on the floor to prove my point.

"If there isn't a plan, then what are you going to do, sit there until we make one up?"

"If there isn't a plan, and you go against your word, I will kill you," I retorted. "I will make it as drawn out and painful as I possibly can."

"You could have killed me before, and you didn't. Why should I believe you're going to kill me now?"

"I didn't have reason then, and I do now."

His sand surrounded me. "It looks like you're trapped," he hissed. "You can't escape me."

"There's a glass of water on the table."

"What can you do with it?" he asked.

I summoned the glass to me and ran the water through the sand, causing it to drop on the floor. "I can make one hell of a mess."

He sprang at me and pinned me to the floor. "Dammit, Tsuki!" he growled. "Leave me alone! Stop tormenting me with your lies of friendship and hope. I don't want you!"

"You're right. They were lies. I expected you to figure that one out sooner. I don't give a damn about you, Gaara. You can die tomorrow and it wouldn't change me. Tell me what you're planning and I'll go on my way, never to talk to you again. You may never even see me again, if you're lucky."

"This was all a trap, wasn't it?"

"I never liked you. If Orochimaru didn't want me to find out what you were up to, I would have never confronted you in the first place."

"Then why did you kiss me?" he asked, hurt.

"It was all a spun web. I didn't plan to, but hey. You do what you can to get the job done," I answered. "I told you, I'm not destined for love."

"I could kill you now," he growled, "but your web trapped me like a beetle." His sand began to rise again. "You don't even care, do you?"

"Care?" I asked. "I do, actually. I also hate you, Gaara. You've always had what you wanted." I chuckled to myself.

"You said you weren't afraid of me."

"I'm not. I hate you because you're arrogant."

He gave me a look of confusion.

"Please," I hissed, rolling my eyes, "as if you didn't know. You look down on everyone as though we're all beneath you. You think you're special enough for the whole world to give a damn. You're not."

His nails were digging into my arms, which began to bleed. "I will always hate you for this. You turned me against myself, all because I thought I could love you."

I looked at him in shock. First Sasuke, now Gaara? "If you want to so damn badly, then love me. I won't stop you."

"No one ever told me that love is what pains you the most."

"Hm," I mumbled, "another reason for me not to get involved in it." We were now both encased in his sand, in total darkness.

"I want to hurt you like you hurt me," he growled. "I want you to know what you've done. I want you to bleed rivers of blood in revenge."

I handed him a cold kunai. "Then do it. Make me bleed for you. Kill me, and know you've taken everything away from me."

He took the weapon in hand, but I couldn't see what he did with it. All I felt was his warm hand back on my bleeding arm. He pulled me to stand. "You want me to kill you." He pushed me against the wall of sand. I could feel his hot breath on my forehead. "You want the physical end. I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to make you suffer."

"Take a number," I instructed. "There's a long line of people who want to make me suffer for one thing or another."

"Then I'll kill them all to get to you," he growled. "Even if it means I have to kill Orochimaru."

"Then you'd just be doing me a favor," I laughed. "That man doesn't care enough to want me to suffer."

"Just like you don't care," he hissed. "Now you know how I feel, having the one you love most not give a damn.

I was really getting pissed off at this point, because he was sounding like a broken record. "I may hate you, but that doesn't mean I don't care. And I don't love him"

"Prove it," he demanded. "Show me that you're capable of caring about someone other than yourself and Orochimaru."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, rested my head on his shoulder, and said, "I haven't killed you yet. I haven't even fought you."

Sand pushed me back against the wall and away from him. "That doesn't mean you're not just setting another trap for me."

"I have told you my intentions. Why would I need another trap for you? You're already stuck, whether you know it or not."

"How am I stuck?"

"While you're killing all the people who desire me dead, you're staying close to me. I can watch you like a hawk. I will haunt your every thought and dream. You don't desire my demise at all. You just desire me."

Sand surrounded my body, leaving my free from the shoulders up. "Why would I desire someone so heartless as you?" he spat.

"If you could change, what's to say I can't?" I taunted. "Isn't that what you were thinking for the last two days?"

"You will never change for me," he growled. "You're incapable of it."

I pushed his sand aside and grabbed his hand. "You'll never know if you don't have the desire to find out," I answered.

He grabbed my wrist and tightened his grip, cutting off the blood flow. I could feel his glare pierce through the darkness. "I can't make you like me. I can't order you to feel the same way. I can see through you now, it's clear to me that you're not going to change. Not unless Orochimaru demands it from you."

I rose my hand to slap him, but he held my wrist tight. "If you don't love him, prove it. Show me. I already know you're a damn good liar." He smirked, I could hear it in his voice. He was getting the better of me and I was letting him. He was right, every word of it. I did love Orochimaru. There was nothing I could do about it, and it hurt. That's why he was my reality, because I was living in a fantasy world. He was the only thing that kept me grounded in the truth, and it was because he didn't care.

He let go of me. "I knew you couldn't." His sand fell around me, then shifted back to form his gourd. "Leave."

I took one step forward, toward him. "I can prove it, and I will," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed as he folded his arms. "Do it," he demanded.

I leaned up and kissed him. Not on the forehead as I had done before. I pressed my lips to his, with as much passion as I could. He put an arm on my shoulder, not knowing what he should do. I wrapped my arms around his waist, then broke away. He looked me in the eye; I didn't break contact.

I turned to the door and left, removing my pressurized air as I went.


	4. Stage Four

Before I get on with the story, I want to warn you now: There is going to be a LOT of strong language from here on out. That is why I have rated this M. Just letting you know now, so you don't complain to me later.

Oh, and if you would be so inclined, I would love banners. I like banners, and I would like to put them on my profile.

~*~*~*~

Stage Four: Freedom

I walked out if his hotel room, past Temari (who I knew had been straining her ears to listen), and into the street. The sun had begun to set now, it had been that long. I had now kissed Gaara twice to save my own ass. He opened my eyes, though. I couldn't stay here. I had to leave now before I was destroyed like he was. Where was I going to go?

I couldn't go anywhere looking like myself. I fluently made hand-signs and muttered, "transformation jutsu," under my breath. I looked nothing like myself and ten centimeters shorter. My hair was short and brown, with only a maroon streak in the front to remind myself of who I really was. I focused my eyes to be green, but light green. I stood in now, and standing in wasn't my forte.

I sat on a rock outside Gaara's hotel. Two figures came out that I didn't recognize, but what they were wearing struck me. They were Akatsuki members, with straw hats and their black cloaks. Rage built up inside me as I remembered the dreams of my parents' deaths. They could be the sanctuary I was looking for, but would I sacrifice my honour?

They had passed me by now. I picked up a small pebble and threw it at the back of the shorter one's head. It hit it's target, and the man turned around to see who threw it. "Take me with you," I demanded.

I heard the other one say, "just kill her. We don't need to be slowed down."

"I know what you're after and I can help you get to it," I muttered. A smirk came across my face. "You're here for a reason. You go back empty handed, and what's to happen to you?"

"You know nothing about Naruto," the shorter man responded.

"But I do know of another demon He seeks."

The man I had struck asked, "Who seeks this demon?"

"The Orange Haired one," I answered. He was the face I had seen in my dreams. "He looks for a girl, does he not?"

The man I hit walked toward my rock. He touched the purple strand of hair. "If it's answers you're looking for, go back to Suna." He pulled his hat off, revealing his Sharingan eyes. It was Itachi. He took the bell off his hat and handed it to me, ringing it first. A smile touched his lips before he turned back to his partner, returning his hat to hide his red eyes and black hair.

I looked at the bell. It was beaded in shades of black and blue. I didn't know what it was supposed to mean, nor why he smiled at me. How did he know I was from Suna? Did he really see through my disguise? Could the Sharingan see through Genjutsu?

I pondered what he had said, because he didn't seem to mean me any harm. Should I go home after seven years? I don't even know if I would remember how to get there. Orochimaru would expect to find me there, but a week in hiding wouldn't hurt, right? It wouldn't take me long to search the house for answers. I crammed the bell into the pocket of my black skirt in frustration.

"Tsuki!" Sasuke called.

I immediately looked up at him, expecting him to talk to me. He walked past without a second glance. He was looking for me, but couldn't see that I was right here. I watched him run off without saying anything. Neji followed Sasuke, but he looked at me, knowingly.

"Hiding from something?" he asked.

I looked at him in surprise. "Does Genjutsu fool anyone anymore?"

"Byakugan can see chakura. Yours has a more purple hue than blue. You stand out, no matter what you look like," he answered.

I sighed.

"So what are you hiding from?" he asked

So this is Neji Huuga. He cares, but doesn't. I remember the way he barked at me on the Third Training Field. "More of a who," I answered. I saw myself in his ways.

"Alright then, who are you hiding from?"

"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to," I answered.

"Why not?" he asked.

"It would make me a traitor to this village." I took out my Sound head band. "If you think hard enough, you'll find the answer." I handed the purple fabric to him. "Burn this for me, as I won't be going back."

His eyes grew wide as he looked at the symbol. "Orochimaru, he's here?"

I got up from the rock and left him there. "Burn it, Neji. Burn it and know that I warned you. I tried to do some good, though it's not enough for redemption."

He took my hand before I could get too far. "I can't let you walk away, Tsuki."

I turned around and hugged him. "I don't ask much, Neji. Just let me leave and find the answers for myself."

He didn't move, he didn't embrace me back, and he didn't say anything for a while. He let go of my hand and finally said, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Thanks, Neji."

*****

I ventured to the border of the River Country, where forest met rocky soil and mountains. I remembered the mountains vaguely, mostly because I had to cross them in darkness the first time I came through. I didn't remember which pass I took, because I was looking at them backwards.

I had to ask for directions, but no one was clear enough for me to understand them at all. I was starting to get annoyed again. I decided just to scale the mountains and see for my self just where Suna was. By the time I would get there, the exams would be over and Kankuro would be waiting to chew me out!

I sighed as I faced the Granite cliffs. I began the ascending climb to the peaks, where the oxygen levels were low. Each passing mountain watched me closely, as if it were mocking my impatience to find a path. I would lose my mind up here if I wasn't careful.

Once at the top, I looked out at the desert below me. I couldn't tell which way Suna was, but I had the strong feeling I was too far north. I wound my way down and went south in accordance to the sun's path. If I could remember right, there was a star you could follow to get to Suna from any point in these mountains. But which one was it? You could die in the deserts if you weren't careful.

The rock turned to fine sand in the matter of a mile from the base of the mountain range. I went south here, knowing that there was a road going into the Ninja Village some forty leagues away. How long would it take me to walk seventy miles?

*****

One week exactly. Orochimaru had done what he came to Konohagakure to do, the Sand Siblings were retracing my steps to get here, and Sasuke was faced with a conundrum. It was a week after scaling the mountains when I turned up at the gates in my leaf head band, and I was stopped immediately before the gates closed for the night. I rolled my eyes as the guard held me in a little room with a couple chairs and a small desk until he could get a hold of an ANBU Black Op. The man looked at me for a long time, asked me one question, "What is your purpose here?" which I answered with, "To find answers." He scribbled the words onto a clip board and walked out of the room, only to return with another Black Op. I rolled my eyes again.

"You're not getting anywhere," I told them.

They looked at me and began whispering something that I couldn't hear. I cursed this body, as it lacked the cat like advantages I was born with. If I remained how I was, I could hear their conversation with ease, along with anything that might be going on outside.

"I should be able to visit any time I want to, I was born here!" I shouted at them.

They looked at me. "Are you in the records?" one asked.

"Well, I should be! I even attended the academy for a year."

"Surname?" the other asked.

"Dentsu," I answered.

He disappeared for a while. The other one surveyed me with skepticism. "The Dentsu clan has died out years ago."

"I am aware of this," I hissed at him. "That's why I'm here. It left questions unanswered."

"In the ruined house? Good luck. Possessions are all that's in there. Everyone looked for something that would give the Akatsuki reason to kill them. Nothing was found."

"That's not what I came to find," I answered. "I already know why we were sought."

"Care to tell us?"

"Not really," I answered. "It's not your concern. They're not going to look for me here." Orochimaru is the one they should worry about.

The other man came in with the file. "The only Dentsu that wasn't found dead." He looked at me and smirked. "She looks nothing like the child."

"Give me a minute," I asked. I released the jutsu and sighed as I returned to my normal body, cat like senses and all. "Better?"

They looked like they had seen a ghost. I picked up the file the man had thrown on the desk. I took the pen from the first man's clipboard and filled in a few stats: Affiliation: Leaf Village; Rank: Chunin; Height: 160 Centimeters; Weight: 56.7 Kilograms. I then threw the folder back on the desk and walked out of the little room, flicking the pen at the Black Op's forehead. I heard the dull thud of the pen hit the floor as I turned the corner.

I walked down the western main road, which led to the two different compounds and the small living quarters for wealthier people who didn't belong to a huge clan. That was where I was going. Memories of my childhood played before my eyes, which was remarkable. I never remember anything, but the laughter of my sister filled my ears along side my mother telling us to settle down before Father got home. A tear escaped; they were ghosts of the past now. I would never see any of them again. I turned onto the side street that led away from the compounds and into the quarters.

Darkness had really settled now, but I managed to see the overgrown rose bush that marked our house. I was amazed it had survived all these years with no help from Mother to keep it alive. I pushed open the door, which creaked in protest in it's track. A cobweb broke and was fluttering in the breeze.

I stepped into the hallway which was scattered with dead flowers that were turning to powder with age. I saw the painting of the rosebush that always hung above the small table in the main hallway and broke down. It was shredded, barely recognizable in the gloom. Mother had spent three days perfecting it. I had helped paint the pink petals. On the table below it, candles were knocked over, sliced in half, or destroyed. All of it was covered in dust.

I tore my eyes from the painting and wandered into the side hallway, toward the bedrooms. From my memory, blood had once covered the walls. It had been cleaned up since I was here last. I pushed open my parents' room, not knowing what to expect. The bed was made and dusty, the dresser was closed. That was quickly changed.

I pulled each drawer open, not knowing what I should find. Clothing, mostly. Letters were hidden in my mom's top drawer. I took the envelope in my hands; the ink was faded. It read HIDAN. I did not know who this Hidan person was, but if Mother thought he was important, he must be.

I ripped open the letter and quickly read through it, wondering what she might have to tell someone other than Father. I got to her signature and dropped the paper; it was a letter of guardianship. I had a god father! Instead of being happy, I decided that if I were ever to meet this Hidan person, I would rip out his throat. One, for being kept a secret from the family and two, for not trying to find me after my family died.

I turned to Father's side of the dresser, but found nothing but old assignments and mission papers. He wasn't that secretive of a man. "Itachi, what answers am I supposed to find here?" I cried into the night.

I ventured into my Sister's room, wondering if she had anything. She was eight at the time of her demise, a mere two years older than me. I looked around at her frilly room of pink lace and stuffed animals. Her vanity was barren, nothing hidden in the drawers but a pen that didn't work anymore. I tore open her favorite stuffed animal, but there was nothing inside it. I shredded her least favorite, but only a junk toy ring fell out. No doubt the one some boy gave her at the academy. She hated that kid, and I never knew why. I couldn't even tell you his name.

I visited my room: a dark and gloomy place that was bare all except for a panda bear that sat on my bed, watching me. I picked up the bear and hugged it, smelling the musk of age in its matted fur. Fur that was matted with my childhood tears. He was my only friend as a child. I took the bell out of my pocket and stared at it. "What does this mean?"

I studied the bell. There was one just like it on my old glass doll, but I didn't see the doll anywhere. My mother gave me that doll.

The surge of memories astounded me as I searched for more clues to my past. I have often thought that my past would lead me to my future. Maybe, like Sasuke, I'm destined for revenge. Maybe I should destroy the Akatsuki for killing my family. I would have purpose again, other than to be Orochimaru's forever. Then I thought of Gaara for the first time since venturing into his village. What if I were to give this love thing a chance? Maybe destiny is something I have to take a hold of and make for myself.

The front door slammed in and my heart sped up. I didn't know who was in the front hallway, or if it was a person at all, until I heard heartless laughter. Chills ran down my spine for the first time in my life: I knew that laugh. It was him, and he was back.

"Here kitty kitty!" he called. "I know you've come home! Come out and play."

I drew a Kunai, but if he carried the same weapon from years ago, then I didn't stand a chance with it. I had to rely on my strength, training, and my demonic chakura. I have yet to meet an opponent I couldn't defeat, but I haven't ever had to fight him.

I heard every door in the house slide open with a slam. Mine was the last one he opened. He saw me, stanced for a fight. "Hm, You're not going to get very far," he laughed. He was wearing the same cloak as Itachi, although the hat was missing. "Drop it, Bitch. I can't fight you."

I threw the Kunai at him, but he swatted it away. "You just won't listen to me, will you?"

"Why should I? You killed my family."

He chuckled. "You should have seen the look on your face before you ran off. Where did you go, anyway?" he provoked. He took a step toward me, backing me into a wall.

"Why does it matter, you're just going to kill me."

"Dammit, didn't you listen to me? I said I can't fight you. Bitch, please, my orders are to take you in alive. Minimal damage," he added in a mocking tone.

"I'd rather you just kill me," I hissed.

"You and me both," he agreed. He ran a hand over the three bladed scythe.

The image of my mother's flesh being shredded in between the blades ran through my mind over and over again, echoed by her ringing screams of terror.

"Why my family?" I asked, desperate to delay him.

"Two reasons. One, we know what you are, and two, I needed to prove no tie was worth breaking my oath to the Akatsuki. Your precious mother was the only person left who had a connection to me."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I asked. "If she was so close to you, how come you were never around? Where were you all those years, if she was so important?"

"Your father pushed me away when the marriage was arranged. You have much to learn, Bitch." He slapped me across my face, just as Orochimaru had done. And just as I did with Sensei, no sound escaped me, nor did I flinch. He did it again when he didn't get a reaction.

"No matter how many times you hit me, I'm not going to cringe."

"Either you enjoy the pain, or you've been someone else's bitch for far too long. You never told me where you went."

"The same place I came from," I answered, pointing to my headband.

"No, you weren't there. We looked. Try again, Bitch."

I was really getting tired of being called Bitch. "If my answer doesn't suite you, ask Orochimaru for his," I spat.

The man before me laughed, filling the room with sadistic melodies that sounded just like horror movies. "I'm going to have fun with you. Oh, yes I am." He grabbed my wrist and tapped my forehead, leaving me in darkness.


	5. Stage Five

Stage Five: Prisoner

I woke up, unaware of my surroundings. The smells were different; there wasn't one I could recognize. Smells of people drifted in and out of my range. There was a constant beeping, rapid and steady. I felt scratchy blankets. I tasted plastic tubing, and I saw nothing. I realized I was blindfolded. I reached for what ever was obscuring my vision, but I was bound to a rail of sorts. Instead, someone removed it for me. I was wired to a machine of sorts.

I was lying in a hospital like room with someone beside me I did not recognize. The beeping was a heart monitor, which read my temperature, blood pressure, and beats per minute. The tube was the next thing to come out, which made me gag in reflex to the slithering plastic.

For the first time I looked at the man. He was stitched in so many places, he looked like a poorly constructed puppet. A mask obscured his face, and I wanted to pull it off. I felt dazed and sluggish when I thought. They had to have drugged me.

I tried to sit up, but was slammed back down by the man tending to me. "Do not move," he commanded. "You have a fever."

"No I don't," I protested. "I feel fine!"

"One hundred and two," he stated as he pointed to the monitor.

"That's normal," I hissed. I ripped the wires off my chest and arms with my teeth.

"Then wait an hour for the jutsu to wear off."

I sat there, looking at the binds that were holding me in place.

"So you don't try to escape during the night," the man explained.

"Then I'll have to work during the day, won't I?"

He chuckled, then walked out of the room.

I stared at the ropes again. I couldn't make hand-signs, which was a set back. I could still channel my chakura into my wrists, though. I focused all of my energy to this, hoping that, somehow, the ties would break. It wasn't long before they snapped.

"I told you not to come here," a familiar voice growled.

"You also led me into a trap, Itachi," I hissed in reply. "I was expecting as much, to be honest. You never look out for anyone other than yourself."

His red eyes fixed on me in a glare. "What has he done to you?"

"What has who done to me?"

"Orochimaru. He did something to you," he repeated.

"He taught me everything I know, if that's what you mean."

"No he didn't," Itachi spat.

"Then who did?" I snarled. "Are you going to take credit for his work?"

"More like he's taking credit for _my_ work," Itachi spat. "You didn't go to Otogakure when you left Suna, you went to Konoha."

"I have never been to Konohagakure before six months ago. You're delusional."

"That's why you get the sense that the village is familiar to you, because you've never been there before?"

"How did you know that I was confused about my deja vu?"

"I didn't, until now. You just told me."

"A shot in the dark," I hissed. "You think that I was there, in Konohagakure, with you, learning everything by your hand?" I laughed at the thought of it. "I would have turned out like Sasuke: weak."

Anger shot through Itachi, but he hid it well. If I wasn't so trained to observe Orochimaru, I would have missed it. "If I am so weak, why does your _Sensei_ fear me? If Sasuke was so weak, why is he still alive?"

"If Sasuke _wasn't_ so weak, why are you still alive?" I retorted. "You think I don't know what it is you mean him to do? I may not be a regular on the streets of the Leaf Village, but I do know a few things. If he was so strong, you wouldn't be standing here, glaring at me."

"You always were a quick thinker, I'll hand you that." He walked out, sliding the door shut behind him.

I shook my head in anger, hearing a jingle. There was something in my ear. I felt the bell that Itachi had given me in my right ear; I think he just claimed me as his. I pulled it out and threw it against the door, listening to it ring as it hit the floor. I got out of the bed and followed the Uchiha out of the small room.

A hallway lay outside the door, filled with more doors. More than likely supply closets and patient rooms. Even the Akatsuki get wounded and need to be healed. I walked the hallway and heard voices. It sounded like the puppet and the silver haired man who abducted me. They were in conversation over something. I hid behind the wall and listened.

"I don't know what he wants with her, Kakuzu. He wouldn't even let me fight her."

"She didn't have any significant wounds, but a few bruises along her jaw line."

"I didn't put those there," the man growled. "She must have gotten them from someone else."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't give a fuck!"

"Leader-sama won't believe you."

"That bastard doesn't understand shit."

"Hidan, you're impossible."

"He's a pussy."

I gasped audibly, slapping a hand to my mouth. Hidan was the one who killed my parents, my sister, and destroyed me. He was the one who was supposed to be a friend, supposed to care. I heard their footsteps toward me and ran back down the hall. I was enraged. I now had three reasons to rip out that man's throat. I just had to be ready.

I slammed into a body before I got to my room. I was thrown backwards onto the floor while he looked at me. "Going back to Orochimaru?" Itachi growled. He took hold of my wrist and pulled me to my feet. His grip was tighter than Orochimaru's. It hurt me. He brushed back my hair and added, "What did you do with it?"

"Got rid of it, I'm not yours."

He threw me to the floor. "Then let the others have their way with you. I won't stop them." He turned his back on me and began to walk away.

I grabbed his ankle and dragged him to the floor. "Why are you protecting me?" I hissed. "Why are you so convinced that I am worth your time? How do you know I'm not going to kill you along with the rest of them?" I asked, hinting to the men walking up the hall behind us.

Itachi pried my fingers off his ankle. "You're the one who said you weren't going to avenge, because it was what _they_ wanted. You don't follow orders very well."

I thrust a kunai through his cloak, pinning him to the floor. "How do you know so much about me? How did you know me from the start? You saw through me, and I want to know how you did it," I demanded.

"When your sister would transform, couldn't you tell her from the crowd?" he asked.

"How did you know I had a sister."

"Orochimaru is using you as a guinea pig," he stated. "He erased your memory and filled it with pictures of himself."

"He did not," I growled. "I never knew you."

Itachi pulled the kunai from the floor and stood up. "Stop by my room sometime, and I'll prove you wrong." He looked back at the onlookers. "Take her to Leader-sama."

I found myself looking down at the three bladed scythe. "Common, Bitch," Hidan growled. "Off to meet the bastard."

*****

Pein was more of a bastard than I suspected. He not only thought of himself as a king, but as a god. He was more arrogant than Gaara could ever dream to be. He kept calling me "little one," or "child" as Orochimaru had, but his tone was less caring. Orochimaru always had a hint of care when he called me "Little One," or "Child". It was a title of endearment to him. To Pein, it was just him undermining me.

"Tell me, child," he spat, "how did you evade me for so long?" His tone was cold, almost icy compared to Sensei. He was full of resentment behind his silence.

"I went to the one person you wouldn't dare to search," I answered.

"And who was that?" he inquired.

"I went to Orochimaru."

No surprise was shone from him, and he didn't seem to care much. "You went to one of my own," he answered.

"You didn't own Orochimaru at the time. He had left by then."

"You're right, he did. He didn't care to stay, but he doesn't care for much, does he? Why did he let you leave?"

"He didn't."

"You are here," Pein observed.

"I am here," I spat back.

"Why are you here?"

"Because that bastard was waiting for me in the ruins of my parent's house," I answered, pointing at the man who was now my guardian. I wouldn't let them know that, though. It was my secret, and a secret I'll take to Hidan's grave.

"I assumed you would come back," he stated. "It took longer than planned, but you came back." At this point, he got up. "Now all we have to do is wait."

"Wait for what?" I asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he answered mockingly. "Take her back to Itachi. From what I know, he claimed her as his."

"I don't belong to Itachi!" I shouted. "I don't belong to anyone! I am not a possession!"

Pein almost smiled. "Well then, let her be claimed by someone else, if she isn't Itachi's. Don't let her run loose, or she'll need to be caught again."

I found Hidan's scythe against my back, pushing out of the little office. I heard Pein call back, "Don't you dare harm her."

"I'll do as I wish, Bastard," Hidan spat back. The blade was removed from my back, just to be lodged in my shoulder. Blood spilled down my arm, but I made no note of the pain. It was something I was used to by now. Hidan poked his finger into the wound, getting a sharp gasp from me. "That's better," he muttered in satisfaction, removing the pressure.

He steered me through the many corridors and hallways, knowing where he was going. He kicked a door off its track and stated, "This belongs to you," in a growl.

Itachi looked up from the desk he sat at. "Does she?" he asked, mocking me.

"If not, the bitch is up for grabs. Do you really want me to have her?"

Itachi motioned for me to step forward. "I'd rather she died than have to suffer through you."

"What the hell? Who is she to you, anyway?" he asked, angered by Itachi's statement. "You're too concerned about her fucking well-being."

"She's my brother's friend," he answered.

"And what does that have to do with shit?" he asked.

"Maybe she's the motivation he needs to finally kill me," Itachi answered.

"Oh, so she's the key piece to some high and mighty plan by Itachi? Right. There's more to this bitch. If there wasn't, you'd have sought her out sooner. I'm not fooled."

"I don't need you to be. It's Sasuke who needs to buy it."

I was just a trap, sprung by Itachi to end his pathetic life. He _was _lying to me, just to make me want to stay. Hidan turned to the door. "Keep her in line, otherwise she'll find herself a sacrifice to Jashin."

I looked to Itachi. "You heartless bastard."

"You're one to talk," he answered coolly. He got up and fixed his door. "At least I can remember my own past."

That reminded me. "Where's your proof?" I asked. "Was that a lie too?"

"I have never lied to you."

"Then you're lying to Hidan?"

"Depends on if Sasuke really sees you as something worth fighting for."

"I hope he doesn't," I answered. I remembered the last time I spoke to him. If he were to come here, he would fail in killing Itachi and retrieving me.

"That's your own issue, now isn't it?"

"Why am I really here?" I asked.

"Because you wanted to be," he answered. He looked up at me. "You did want to, remember? Or has Orochimaru blocked that from you as well."

"He didn't block anything from me," I hissed. "I wanted to escape him."

"You were eager to go to him," Itachi stated. "What happened, did you find out he didn't care about you?"

"No, I've always known that. It's never bothered me."

"Then why leave?" He finally popped the door back into the track, straightened up, and faced me. "If it doesn't bother you, why not stay by his side, where he can protect you."

"I care about him," I answered. I looked away from Itachi, horrified I would tell him this secret.

"And the cat fell in love with the snake," he commented. "How, story book. Let me guess, he found out and tried to kill you?"

"I left so he wouldn't find out. I am not afraid of being killed. I am not destined for love, and I never will be."

"You say that now, but wait until you are loved," he advised. "You'll see things differently."

"What if I don't want to be loved?" I asked.

"Then you won't be."

"You make a hell of a lot of sense," I spat.

"Well, it's still an answer, mo matter how shitty you think it is."

That was my response to Tayuya a long time ago. Itachi and I were a lot alike, and I had to acknowledge this fact. My survival has always depended on my understanding of those around me. I have to understand the Akatsuki if I'm going to survive in their grasp. "So it would seem," I answered, distracted. I pondered how I was going to observe them, without being too conspicuous.

There was a knock at the door, then it slid open. In stepped a tall man, the same one that was with Itachi when I had seen him the first time. Something stood out about this one, and it might just be the blue skin. He also smelled like fish, but that was neither here nor there. He looked at me, and I looked at him. I knew that I had seen him, he didn't know that he had seen me. "Who is this?" he asked, in the same low voice that had suggested they kill me. "And why is she here?"

"Remember that girl on the rock?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, but she's not-"

"Genjutsu," Itachi answered. "She's the girl Leader-sama wanted years ago."

"I thought she was dead."

Itachi only grunted in response.

"Why is she here?" he repeated.

"To lure Sasuke," Itachi answered.

"That's why Leader wanted her?"

"I don't know why he wants her, but that's why she's in my room."

I just loved being talked about like I wasn't there. It's totally not annoying at all. I rolled my eyes as they discussed me and pretended to not be there. I watched them both, eager to understand.

"She's looking at me funny," the blue man stated.

"She does that," Itachi answered. "She's just observing how you behave. It's a habit of hers."

Am I really that predictable? "You don't know my habits," I spat.

"I know them better than you think I do," he answered.

"I'm confused," the blue man stated. "Someone tell me what's going on."

"She's here because of some plan that has been in process for the last seven or so years, you're being observed by her, and she's being stubborn."

"Damn right, I'm stubborn," I hissed.

"Stubborn about what?" Blue asked again.

"Stubborn about accepting the past, Kisame. It's something that I can't explain to you, and she wouldn't understand it if I tried to explain to her. It's just complicated."

"You know her from somewhere?" Kisame asked. They were back to ignoring me.

"To put it lightly, yes."

"Why doesn't she just remember you?"

"Orochimaru has blocked her memories."

He has not. Why won't Itachi accept this?

"Why would he do that?" Kisame asked.

"You know Orochimaru, he doesn't need a reason. She's just another guinea pig."

Kisame looked at me. "She looks normal, kinda." He tilted his head as he inspected me. "If you look past the eyes, anyway."

"There is nothing normal about her."

"You don't know that!" I yelled. "You don't know me!"

"I know you better than you think I do, and be thankful. If I didn't, Hidan would have killed you by now."

"I'd have killed her by now," Kisame laughed.

I have had enough. I pushed past Kisame and walked out of Itachi's room, steaming. I felt their eyes follow me out.


	6. Stage Six

Stage Six: The Truth

The next part of my tale is not my own, and I must call upon other people to account for what happened in my absence. These are their words, their thoughts, and their feelings.

*****

Gaara

It wasn't long after finding Tsuki had disappeared that I was sent home. I found my father had been killed by Orochimaru. I didn't feel for my loss, but felt it was uncalled for. Now, we have to go through the process of finding another Kazekage.

Temari and Kankuro have often asked me about her. Every time they talk to me, her name comes up. I don't understand their desire to know. She double crossed me, and I let her. They don't need to know the details. They should just know that she tricked me, and now I intend to do the same thing.

I looked out at the moon as I thought about it. She has disappeared without a trace. Orochimaru probably sent her away. She left me as confused about myself as I have ever been, and she offered no clarification for her actions. She vanished as soon as she stepped out of my hotel room, not to be seen again. Her kiss lingered on my lips, burning through me with a hatred that I have never before known. Why hatred? I thought my first kiss would be nice. Hatred took over because I knew it was another lie and another empty promise. It's all I have ever known, but even when I thought she climbed over my inner walls of defense and tore open my heart, hate replaced the love that I thought I longed to have. Instead, I realized that all I wanted was to have the hate and anger return to me, as if I have never met her. No more confusion. No more lies.

I cannot shake the feelings that weren't of hate, no matter how small they were. The way my body reacted surprised me. Her kiss was felt all over, not just through my own lips. My heart raced faster, my stomach clenched, and I felt warm. How can she do this to me? Again, I am confused.

My confusion only leads me to hate her more. No matter how much I want to feel that sensation again, no matter how badly I want to be warm again, I can't allow her near me again. I am going to stick to the promise I made to her: I am going to kill anyone who wants to make her suffer. By the time I finish, I will know how I am going to pay her back.

I want to think that maybe she'll change, as she said she might. She said that if I could change, why couldn't she? I had to agree with it, but that is hoping. I don't hope for anything I can't control myself, and I can't control her. She is a wildcat. She is unpredictable and ferocious. Only time will tell, if anything can be told.

I could only wait, and pursue her enemies. In a way, I was determined to protect her. I am protecting her, only to tear her down myself. I won't wait for someone else to kill her before I get the chance to make her suffer myself.

*****

Neji

I watched her leave. I let her go. She was right, Konohagakure was under attack and no one even know. I didn't believe her, I didn't want to. She said it wasn't enough to redeem herself, but what does it mean for me, as I never told anyone about her warning? I feel just as bad as she must. She looked vulnerable, sitting on that rock. So small, clumsy, and afraid. I could see it in her fake, green eyes. She was frightened of what she was about to do.

I wonder if she has found what answers she was looking for, or if her fate didn't want her to know. She is a strong girl, with an interesting story to tell. I can see it in her eyes, her body, and her chakura. I would like to fight her someday, just to see what she can do with her unique strength.

Even now, as I walk the deck outside our house, I carry her purple Sound protector plate. She may have ordered me to burn it, but I can't bring myself to destroy it. It would be like destroying a piece of her.

I sat down on the polished wood. Her destiny is a strong one, because of this, she will do many great or terrible things. I cannot bear to think about what these things may be, but they are still great, they are still terrible. I can't help but wonder if she is a terrible person, but I don't know if I will ever find out. She is gone, and nothing will bring her back.

She made one friend here, and it was the person no one expected to befriend a girl. She made friends with Sasuke. Mind you, she's beautiful and charming from what I know, but Sasuke? It seems a little odd that he would turn to her. He ignores every other girl in the village who wants him, and as far as I could see, she didn't. Maybe that was the secret.

I sighed. I had seen her twice and she already has invaded my thoughts. I clutched the metal band, cutting open my palm. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn't know what she wanted me to do. Why has she chosen me to bear this burden?

*****

Sasuke

Tsuki had long since left us, and afterward I discovered she was working with Orochimaru. I didn't want to believe him when he told me, but he also knew about her time with Gaara. He used her against me, just to get what he wants. He used her to pain me just as much as this mark. It was a trap all along, and I fell for it. She set me up, and I loved her. I can't believe she got to me. I can't bear it. She couldn't have done much worse if she tried.

Some say she went off with Itachi when he came. This would be the only worse thing she could have done. I hope she didn't, but now, I don't know what she would or would not do. She doesn't realize her level of betrayal. I feel violated.

She was the person who knew me the most, the only one I dared to let in, all because I thought she would know what it was like. She looked away from me when everyone pushed me into the limelight. She didn't care about me, and that was what attracted me to her in the first place. She didn't like me.

She was like me. She told me of her parent's murder and of her broken memories. She told me that she was a slave to her forgotten past, and now I have guessed what she meant. Orochimaru had her bound to his side, and from what I know of her, she doesn't like being bound. She is a free spirit, like an eagle. She doesn't let anything hold her back if she wants it bad enough. She wants freedom, I could see it in her eyes.

Now, it seems she is a missing ninja. No one saw her leave, no one heard her leave, and not many people knew of her at all. She did her job well: not many knew of her, she blended in while standing out, she adapted well, she was trustful on the surface, and she kept quiet. She didn't draw attention, but that makes it all the harder to track her down.

I wish I knew how to think like her. All I know is that if I were in her shoes, I would seek the Akatsuki and destroy the men who destroyed my family. That is what I am doing, though. Maybe I should focus on this, and when I kill Itachi, I will find her, covered in her enemy's blood as well.

*****

I looked out at the forest around me. I was sure most of it was genjutsu, bending the illusion around the lair itself, making it impossible to find unless you knew it was here. There was no way for me to find my way out of that forest on my own. I already had my plan of escape. I had been here for three days already. It wouldn't be much longer.

I was bound to Itachi and forced to wear his bell as an earring as long as I was around anyone other than Itachi and Kisame. No one else could see me without it, because it meant that he had given me up. If that were to happen, someone else would take me. There were some twisted minds among the Akatsuki, most of which I wouldn't like being around for more than a few seconds.

I have observed everyone I have come across. Itachi was the one I knew the most about, from Sasuke and from my first hand experience. He is silent and thoughtful, wise, courteous, and analytical. He thinks of everything before making his move. Kisame is a fighter. He likes to battle anyone and everyone, and it seems that he only respects me because of Itachi. It doesn't matter to me. Hidan is a religious man who doesn't respect anyone at all. I have never met anyone so different from myself. The only thing we have in common is swearing, which I do occasionally. Pein is something else, but he still thinks of himself as a god. He has a troubled mind, and wants everyone else to feel as he does. Kakuzu is a material man, who thinks the only things that are constant in life is death and taxes, even though he has found "immortality." Zetsu is a character. His two sides confuse me, as I don't understand how someone can argue with themselves on everything imaginable. It's just queer. Deidara is artistic and strange, hot headed, sadistic in his fighting, and annoyed. Sasori is quiet, distant, and seemingly wooden. He reminded me of Kankuro without the ego. There is another woman here, but I have yet to see her. I can only smell her when Pein walks through the room. She is a mystery to me, and I don't want to solve it.

Itachi has taken to being more confusing. He drops hints at my past being intertwined with his, even though he has no reason to. I don't quite get his motives, but I must be patient. He keeps getting impatient when I shoot down his attempts at lies to me. Either he is a really bad liar, or I am just really bad at remembering. I can't remember anything of my childhood, but can only rely on Orochimaru. Why would he lie to me? Right, because he is Orochimaru. I still would remember Itachi, or at least get the feeling of deja vu around him. I don't get either.

"Tsuki," Itachi called to me.

I looked up from the book I was reading in response.

"Give me the bell," he ordered.

I reached for my ear and pulled the bell out, then tossed it to him.

"When was the last time you really looked at it?"

"When I was in Suna, I guess. Why?"

He tossed it back to me. "Study it."

I looked at it; it seemed as it did when I was in Sunagakure. A small bell that looked as though it came from my porcelain doll that my mother gave to me was attached to the end, with wood beads painted blue on red string. No different than it looked when I studied it the first time, the last time, or any other times in between. There was a small scratch in the last bead, but that was it. "I don't see anything different," I confirmed.

"Nothing at all?" he asked.

"There's a small scratch on the bottom bead, but that is all I can see."

"It isn't a scratch from accident. It's a carving."

I looked at it again, squinting at the tiny line. Indeed, it was a carving of a kanji symbol: the symbol of my name. It was obscured by time and the paint had filled it, as if to hide the symbol. "How did my name get there?" I asked.

"Think about it," he instructed.

I couldn't remember anything. I threw the bell at the back of his head after he turned around and sat on the bed, reading the book he asked me to put down to find my name carved in a bead on a string with my porcelain doll's bell. I had to accept that I made that stupid bell thing, that he got it somehow, and that our pasts were, in fact, intertwined. I hate when I am proven wrong. "So you were right, and I did make this. Where is the doll that the bell came off of?" I asked.

"I left it."

"Left it where?"

"The compound," he answered.

"You mean Sasuke has it?"

"No, he doesn't have it. It's where I kept you."

"Like an animal?"

"You don't remember?" he asked

"I don't remember anything!" I shouted.

He sighed. "Calm down, Tsuki." He knocked over an ink well, causing it to shatter on the floor, sending porcelain shards everywhere.

That sound was like flipping a light switch in my memory. I saw the Uchiha compound, from the inside. _People were all around me, looking at me with strange and curious eyes. I shifted my little black back pack in discomfort. All of them had eyes that were black in colour, even through some of them were warm with kindness. I was alone, and I was very lost. I had to keep walking though, to find my way out of this maze of people. I didn't like people, and I was afraid, with the memory of my family's slaughter still in my mind._

_ I saw a little boy walking alone, just like me. I called out to him, pleading for him to stop. He looked back at me, startled at my bright red hair and coloured eyes._

_ "I'm lost," I told him. "I can't find my way back out."_

_ He pointed east, away from the direction I was going in the first place. He then continued to walk away from me, silent._

_ "Thank you," I called after him, but he was engulfed in the crowd. I turned east and walked, keeping my head down. Tears began to slide down my cheeks as I felt alone in this foreign world. I quickly bumped into someone._

_ "You seem lost," a boy stated. I looked up into the eyes of Itachi Uchiha._

_ "I was lost, and I need to get out of here. I have to go," I told him._

_ "Why are you here?" he asked. "You aren't an Uchiha."_

_ "No, I'm not and I was lost. I'm not anymore and I need to go home," I lied. _

_ "Where is your home?" he asked me._

_ I stumbled, looking for another lie. I pointed to the tallest building I could see behind him. He looked at where I was pointing. _

_ "The Hokage's office?" he asked, laughing. "You really are lost."_

_ "I am not, my house is right behind it."_

_ "There isn't a house behind the Hokage's office. A couple blocks away, maybe."_

_ "Yes, that's it. A couple of blocks away," I laughed. _

_ "You're just afraid," he told me. "I'll take you home."_

_ "No, really, I'm fine. I have to go home. My mom is worried about-" I couldn't finish, because I knew my mother was dead. I started crying uncontrollably, running from Itachi. I heard him behind me, but had to get away. I turned into an ally-way, not knowing it was a dead end. I dropped my bag, hearing the sound of my doll breaking inside. I couldn't even see anymore, but I felt his hand on my shoulder. I screamed and tried to push him away from me, but I was too weak._

_ "What is wrong?" he asked._

_ "Leave me alone!" I screamed. "I don't need your help!" I pushed at him again, but he wouldn't let go. "Leave me alone!!" I screamed again. _

_ People began appearing from the sides of houses, asking things like, "What's going on," or "Itachi, what happened?"_

_ "What don't you need help with?" he asked._

_ "I can find my own way, just leave me alone!"_

_ Someone approached Itachi. "What is going on?"_

_ Itachi looked up and answered, "This girl showed up on our compound claiming she's lost. She wants to go home, but I don't think she knows where home is. She pointed to the __Hokage when I asked. I'm sorry for the disturbance, Father."_

_ I looked up at the man in fear. His eyes weren't kind at all. They were cold and dark, hiding something from all who looked into them. I struggled away from Itachi, screaming, "Let me go!" in his ear._

_ His father replied to his explanation, "Take her back to your mother, and I'll go talk to the Hokage to see if anyone has filed a report. Tell your mother to get her something to drink and to wrap her in a blanket. She'll be fine, but she's still in shock."_

_ Itachi nodded and picked me up (resulting in me screaming bloody murder). He walked slowly and fluidly away from the ally, and the onlookers. I cried myself to sleep in his arms, not feeling endangered anymore._

I looked at Itachi. Fear clouded my mind as I evaluated this memory. My world was being tipped upside-down and I wasn't wearing a seat belt on this roller-coaster. "Why do you remember, but I didn't?" I asked. "And why didn't Sasuke say anything?"

"I don't think he remembers either," Itachi confessed. "I think that me killing the family blocked everything he remembered about you. What did you see?"

I looked down at the shattered bottle that triggered the memory. "I saw me, and then Sasuke, you and your father. I was lost and wanted to go home, but I didn't have a home, did I?" I asked.

"No one filed a missing person's report with the Hokage, and everyone we asked didn't know anything about you. It was that, and you kept turning into an animal at night. No one wanted you because they were afraid, so I kept you in our own section of the compound."

"I don't remember turning into an animal at night," I told him. "That sounds like it came out of a story book."

Itachi went to the wardrobe that sat in the far corner of his room. He shuffled around for a moment, then returned with a folded up piece of paper. "You might not remember, but I have some proof."

"About time," I answered. He handed me the paper, which was a picture. I unfolded it and looked, to gasp. A tiger stared back at me, with the same colour fur as my hair and my eyes, snarling at who ever was taking the picture.

"I took that three nights after you came to us," he explained. "I thought it might be useful to the Hokage. Father wouldn't let me take it to him. He figured you weren't a threat to people, and it was best to keep you a secret. That was when he said you should be kept on the compound, and my responsibility."

I looked down at the photo. "How often did this happen?" I asked

"Every night, almost as soon as the sun went down. Maybe within the hour of the rise of the north star."

"I don't know what to make of this, I have no recollection of transforming into a monster."

"A monster? No, you wouldn't hurt a fly. You were playful. You wished to continue your study, but Father wouldn't let you off the compound. I had to teach you everything myself."

I didn't know how to react to this, other than I was free-falling from my roller-coaster.


	7. Stage Seven

Stage Seven: Kisses and Lies

That evening, I was sitting in the "lounge", my term for the center area full of sofas and chairs and not much else. I had my book in hand, watching the people come and go. Sasori was spread out on the floor with a puppet he was building. He didn't look at me, he just resumed screwing, nailing, and gluing pieces into place. His work was rhythmical, hypnotizing almost. I watched him.

"Is there a problem?" he asked me, not even looking up.

"No, I'm just watching."

"Is there a reason?" he asked.

"I've never seen someone so intent in their work."

"Each puppet is a work of art. What good is art if it doesn't last?" he asked me.

"Especially if your life depends on the quality of your art," I answered.

"I'm already dead," he informed me, "but you have the idea."

He went back to silently working, testing the joints with his chakura. The room filled with a faint blue light as strings of energy brought the half completed marionette to life. The puppet stood up, looked at me, then fell to the floor. Sasori evaluated the puppet, tweaked one of the metal pins, then tried again. The puppet stood, walked to me, sat beside me on the couch, then slid off and returned to his master.

"Kankuro's aren't as smooth as yours," I commented.

"He hasn't had the time to perfect his as I have. Besides, he doesn't have the patience to learn. He's a child, and childish when it comes to his little dolls."

"It's strange to hear a puppet master call puppets dolls."

"I will never call my puppets dolls."

"Just other people's?" I asked, confused.

"Only people who make a mockery of puppetry," he answered. "Kankuro happens to be one of those people."

"He's the only other puppet master I know of," I told him.

"My parents were masters, but they were killed," he told me. "My grandmother still is a master of puppetry, and was the one to teach me."

"That is the life of a Ninja," I told him. "Life is our biggest sacrifice. But it is also our duty to pass down what we know to the next generation."

"Unless you can conquer death. Then you can teach countless," he answered. "Will you hand me that screw? It rolled over to you when Anjoku stood up."

I picked up the metal fixing and tossed it to him, saying, "You named it Anjoku?"

"Yes, and I was hoping you would sit with me, instead of calling across the room. It would make things easier."

"You could have just asked me."

"I needed the screw," he shrugged.

I walked over his carnage of wood and tools carefully, not wanting to crush his project. I sat beside him, not in the way of anything he might need to use. "Alright, I'm here."

"Have you ever made a puppet?" he asked me.

"No, I haven't. I'm not a puppet master."

"I expected Kankuro to show you a few things about puppets, you seem to know him."

"I have hated Kankuro since I first met him."

"Because he is a puppet master?" Sasori asked.

"No, it's his ego, as you said, and he is childish too."

"Not because he's a puppet master?"

"I have nothing against puppets," I answered. "I just don't like people much."

"Technically, I'm a puppet."

I laughed. "I suppose." It was the first time I laughed in a while. Laughing is something I don't do unless it's halfheartedly or forced.

"You have a pretty laugh," he told me. "Suna must have missed you when you left."

"What?" I asked. The smile left my face.

"Your laugh could make even the desert turn into an oasis. I remember a kid who was very close to you. Was he sad when you disappeared?"

"I don't remember," I said.

"I can hear the sadness in your voice. If I were to go through the same things you did, I wouldn't remember my past either. It's not uncommon for someone to block out events that are traumatic."

"That's a better explanation than what Itachi gave me," I answered. "He thinks Orochimaru covered my memories."

"I wouldn't put it past him," Sasori answered. "He has always had a twisted mind."

"You knew him personally?" I asked.

"He used to be my partner."

"Oh," I answered. I knew Orochimaru was in the Akatsuki before I was brought to him by Kabuto, but I didn't know the full story. "So Kabuto was your spy?" I asked.

"Yes, but the bastard disbanded my jutsu and turned the kid against me."

"Sounds like Orochimaru hasn't changed much over the years."

"Well, some good has come from him."

"Like what?" I asked. "He's a heartless, relentless bastard."

"He isn't the good I'm talking about," Sasori said as he nailed the arm into the left socket. "The good is sitting next to me, agreeing that he is a bastard."

I looked at Sasori strangely.

"What?" he asked. "It's a compliment."

"Thanks," I said, distant. "I've never taken well to being complimented."

"I can understand that, you're a modest person."

"Not a modest person, I just don't like being complimented. It's never settled well with me. I don't know why."

"Well, I'm not sorry. I meant it and I'm not going back on that."

I stopped and thought. I was expecting an apology. "I respect you for that. Apologizing is a form of weakness."

"Don't take back what you said, because at the time, you must have meant it if it was important enough to say in the first place," he explained. "I like how you think too, but now I'm just pushing it."

"You are, but I respect you for realizing the strength of backing your words instead of changing them." I picked up a finger and looked at it.

He took the finger out of my hands, lingering on my skin. Instead of feeling like polished wood, he felt like a person should. "Then thank you."

"Your details are exquisite."

He looked into my eyes, which reflected in his amber irises. "I'm just good with my hands," he whispered. His had was still on mine, holding the wood between our palms. He leaned toward me and closed his eyes. He pressed his lips on mine lightly, softly, then pulled away. His eyelids lifted slightly. "I'm not sorry for that, either."

He took the wooden piece from me, brushed the line of my jaw with his finger, then returned to placing the finger on the hand of the puppet.

I put my hand on his shoulder as he worked. He looked back at me, surprised. "I don't want you to be," I softly spoke.

He took my hand in his, traced his fingers along the ridges, and answered, "I wouldn't be sorry if you wanted me to. You've been secluded for a long time, years, in fact. Perhaps it is time for you to learn you don't have to be."

"Get your hands off her," Itachi growled.

Sasori looked up at him without concern. "And if I don't?" he asked. "Are you going to stop me?" He smirked. He turned back to me. He let go of my hand and kissed me, right in front of Itachi.

There was pressure at my shoulder. "Tsuki, go back to my room, now," he demanded. "If I have to show everyone that you're mine, I will."

There was a glare in his eye and a tone in his voice that forced me to comply. I wanted to tell him that I belonged to no one. I was afraid of him, and I didn't know why. He seemed different from my new found memory. I was afraid of him, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

I slid the door behind me and entered the candle lit room, only to have it slide open again. "What were you thinking?" he growled. "What thought crossed your mind to make you want Sasori?"

"What makes you think you can dictate me?" I asked in reply.

He closed the space between us, backing me to the wall. "I told you, if you go back on my protection, they will eat you alive."

"You're not protecting me from anything. I'm in the Akatsuki. I'm beyond protection."

"You are not beyond my protection."

"Prove it," I spat.

"I would do anything to protect you."

"Why? Why am I so important to you, when you were so willing to throw your family away?" I asked. "What can you do? Why?"

"You have so many questions. If you really want to know why, I'll tell you. I care so damn badly because you have a future for yourself. You aren't corrupt, or you weren't when I knew you. You gave me a purpose, until you disappeared. You came back to me, and that has to mean something, and I'm going to use it to my advantage. Orochimaru did some irreversible damage, but there's hope."

"Hope for what?" I asked.

"You," he answered. "You're not going to be Orochimaru's slave forever."

"You're right, I'm not. I ended that a while ago. Stop telling me what I already know. How do you plan on protecting me?" I repeated.

He looked down into my eyes. "The same way Sasori planned to take you from me," he answered. "You looked shocked to know that's all he wanted."

"Not by much. Honestly, I don't give a damn."

"So, if he were to take full advantage of you just to piss me off, you won't care?"

"Do you honestly think I would let him get that far? I had my plans for him, and I would stop him before he got too far. I can fend for myself."

Not it was his turn to look startled. "What plans?"

"You and Kisame are the only two here I can rely on. Being taught by Orochimaru, do you think that's good enough?" I asked. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all you're trying to do for me, but I need eyes and ears everywhere here. I don't know what Pein has in store for me, but one of these bastards do."

"You're as sly as the snake himself. You were using him all along."

"I'm using everyone here," I answered, "Even Hidan."

"How are you using Hidan?" he asked.

"Having someone who wants nothing more than to see you dead can be resourceful," I answered. "He's going to use every speck of dirt he has to piss me off into a fight. All I have to do is remain calm while he calls me out."

"Clever," he commented. "That doesn't deter me from protecting you."

"Every great konoichi is flexible." I put my hand on his chest. "If that means I have to be your 'lover'," I air quoted, "then so be it."

He put his arms around me. "As long as I know you're safe."

"I'll never be safe," I told him, "but I trust you almost as I would my brother."

"You have to trust me more than a brother, Tsuki. You have to trust me as a lover."

I stood on point to kiss his cheek. "Or at least act as I do."

He pulled me closer to him, passionately kissing my full on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me and closed my eyes. No space remained between us. I felt his fingers lace through my hair, sending shivers down my spine. His body heat warmed me, comforted me. I could smell him. He smelt spicy, yet sweet. It was familiar, and delicious. It wasn't long before he broke away from me.

"No," I whispered, clutching his cloak. I felt happy when he kissed me.

"No?" he softly repeated. He leaned back down to me, kissing me once more. The warmth returned to me as he held me to his chest, lips on mine. I wanted more. I wanted fire from him. I wanted to feel his wrath.

The door slid open behind us and Itachi broke away from me. "Damn, Sasori must have really pissed you off," Kisame laughed. He directed the next one to me. "You're just a little sl-"

Itachi came at him with a Katana, "I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you," he growled.

"Woah," Kisame sighed, "There's more to this, isn't there."

"There is nothing more than disrespect for her, and she is mine. You slander her, you slander me. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Itachi." He then looked back at me. "You don't know how lucky you are." He returned out the door, slamming it shut.

"So this is what protecting me entails," I commented. "You'd go against your comrades for me?" I folded my arms as he walked back to me.

"I can't kiss my comrades," was his answer. "I can keep my comrades from kissing you," he added.

"I'm not just your property," I informed him.

"No, but you are my girl." He took me in his arms again. "What kind of person would I be if I allowed everyone to treat you like a harlot?" he asked. He kissed me lightly again.

I rested my head on his chest. "Thanks," I whispered. "No one has stood up for me before you."

He buried his face in my hair and whispered in my ear, "No one has ever cared about you like I do, like I always have."

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "I could have died without you."

He kissed my hair. "I have no doubt you would have proven to the world you were strong enough to survive anything thrown your way." He lifted my chin and kissed me once more. "You have the drive to back it up."

"You remember a lot about me, don't you?"

"I can say I remember almost everything. You used to sleep in fits," he smiled. "You could never spend a night without me beside you." He backed me to the bed. "I wonder if it's still like that."

"I don't sleep anymore," I told him. "If I do, I destroy everything."

"Glass shatters, wood splinters, and it all is thrown in every direction from you, as if sent by a shock wave," he finished. "I know."

"I'm not sure I am willing to take that chance," I warned.

"I am," he answered. He sat down beside me. "Just for you." He removed his cloak and relaxed against the pillow. He pulled me to his chest. He pulled a few hand-signs from behind my back, filling the room with a gentle gust of wind to extinguish the candles' flame. The only light that fell on his face was that of the moon, which only sharpened the lines beneath his eyes. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

If I thought I was in love with Orochimaru, no words could describe the state I was in over Itachi, and I have only known him for a handful of days. How could this man, one memory, a promise, and the lure of a peaceful night's sleep change me so greatly without my consent? He couldn't. My heart was pulling the wool over my eyes. My memory was giving me false hopes to dwell on that, if not stopped, would be my downfall.

I left a kiss on his lips before he fell asleep, his soft breathing lulling me into the dangers of darkness.


	8. Stage Eight

Stage Eight: Gaara's Revenge

I was woken abruptly with an explosion rattling the walls and windows. I clutched the sheets beside me in fear for the sleeping Uchiha beside me, but he wasn't there. Shouts filled the corridors and my ears as the various members ran past Itachi's door. I then realized that I didn't cause the discharge. The room wasn't destroyed and I wasn't drenched in sweat. If I didn't cause the explosion, then who did?

I grabbed my Katana that was resting against the wall and slid open the door to find out for myself. I made it to the central "lounge" area before I found the source. Well, the source found me. I was encased in a familiar jutsu: the Sand Coffin Jutsu. I knew how to counter it. I built up the pressurized air between my skin and my sand, pushing outward. The sand retracted against me, so I had to increase my chakura and push harder. One final tighten of the sand broke my bubble of air and suffocated me, forcing all air out of my lungs before backing off.

I felt a dizzying sensation around me, as though I was getting motion sick. I closed my eyes to calm the feeling, and opened them to see myself in an empty void. It wasn't long before I was thrown into the technicolor world of surrounding forest again, to face a pissed-off red head. "You betrayed me," he growled.

"How have I managed to betray you this time?" I asked.

"Orochimaru sent you here."

"No, he didn't. I was abducted," I informed him.

"Then why was he so sure that you were where he thought you to be?" Gaara growled.

"Did he tell you where he thought I was?" I asked.

"He wouldn't tell us."

"There you go. If he wouldn't tell you, then he didn't know. For your information, I went to Sunagakure. The last place either of you would look for me."

Gaara relaxed slightly."Why would you go there?" he asked.

"If no one has told you already, I was born there. I lived there for six years before I was forced out by the Akatsuki."

"Then why go back?" he asked.

"I'm looking for answers to questions I have had for years. I need to know who I am and where I come from. Orochimaru has been lying to me about everything."

"Does that surprise you?" Gaara growled. "He killed my father."

"Does that surprise you?" I countered. "You hate your father anyway."

Gaara turned from me.

"What did you want to accomplish by kidnapping me back?" I asked him, changing the subject quickly.

"You're not leaving my sight," he stated. "I don't care if I have to imprison you inside my sand until the day you die."

"And why is that?" I growled.

"So when I kill everyone around you, I can kill you myself," he announced. "I don't want to have to search all over the map for you. When I am ready, I want you beside me to take what ever torture I deal to you."

"All because you think I made you love me?"

"No, I don't think you made me. I think you tricked me, and aren't going to stop."

"What do you want from me?" I hissed. "Would it make you happy if I loved you, or if I disappeared? Do you want me dead, or just out of your life?" I asked.

"I want you to suffer," he informed me. "I want you to feel as I do."

"Confused?" I asked. "Or like the one you love will never return it for you?"

"Both," he answered.

"Then technically, I've already payed that price." I began walking.

Sand surrounded my ankle. "You're not leaving my sight," he glared.

I turned around and began stalking toward him. "Fine, I won't leave your sight. You're going to wish I do by the end of this, mark my words."

"Consider them marked," he growled.

I raised my hand to slap him when he seized my wrist. "Let go of me."

"You can't hurt me," he hissed. "No point in trying."

"I can hurt you, if I have to exhaust every thought I have."

"Then try." He threw my wrist down, glaring at me.

I stepped toward him with a smirk on my face. "You handed that power to me ages ago," I whispered. I placed my hand on his cheek. Sand began to rise in defense, but it was too late. I laced my thin fingers in his flaming red hair and pulled him to me, locking his lips to mine. Kissing was becoming a form of deceit to me, and would never have meaning again as far I as I was concerned. I had no need for it.

I heard the sand drop as Gaara wrapped his hands around me, getting tighter and tighter. My body was soon pressed to his, and I could feel him smile under the kiss. I soon couldn't breathe as he kept squeezing me. His nails dug into my skin, drawing blood under the fabric of my tunic at the small of my back. It was soon soaked and stained, and I was beginning to get light headed from lack of oxygen. I had to do something.

I released my grip on his hair and tried to back away from him. He spun around and backed me to a tree, pinning me to him. I gasped as my wounds hit the bark, but the sound was muffled by the lack of air. His tongue slid into my open lips, feeling the tip of my own. It was a sensation of mystery to me, as I didn't know if the tingling was from suffocation or from his kiss.

He soon parted from me, but kept me in his death grip. "This is how you intended to hurt me?" he inquired. "Looks like you're the one in pain."

"I can't breathe," I mouthed.

His lips fell to mine once more. He then smiled and said, "I know, and I was hoping you would fight me, if only for air." He dropped me, allowing me to fall to my knees.

I gasped for breath as I glared at him. "You're a monster," I hissed.

"You're the one who was trying to use my emotions against me," he growled. "I used them against you. I did miss the sweet taste of your lips, though." He crouched beside me. "And now they're mine when ever I find myself craving their taste." Gaara took a kiss from me once more, holding me in place by my neck. "Not so quick to kiss me now, are you? It's almost as if you've been broken. That didn't take much."

No one was going to assume anything about me. If he was going to try to defeat me, I was only going to prove him wrong. I wrapped my arms around his neck and parted his lips with my tongue. He stood up, pulling me with him. He fought with me, backing me to the tree once more. He licked the inside of my mouth with hunger as I battled him for my pride.

He began trembling slightly as he struggled to control me. He flattened himself against me as I felt the source of his pulsation brush against me, in perfect time with his heartbeat above. "Look what you started," he smirked. He buried his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. "I won't give you that satisfaction, even if I have to deny my own." He bit down on the base of my neck, almost on my shoulder.

At once my body shuddered, feeling the pain of his sharp bite mingle with the feeling of heightened sexual arousal. I cursed him, even though I now wanted him. I was no longer acting on pride, but on pure physical greed. I was relieved when he turned to kiss me once more, pulling me away from the tree. He felt the curve of my back, still wet with blood, and ventured lower. He felt up my backside, squeezing me at whim.

A wave of shivers crashed through my nerves as he handled me with roughness. His tongue slid once more to greet my own, mixing his taste with mine. It was a taste of blood. I failed to notice that my neck was bleeding, sending a warm flow of sweetness directly to his taste-buds. The rustic, salty taste fed a hunger inside of myself, even though it was my own. I wanted to have it, all of it, for myself.

He gave a firm grip on my ass, sending my hips to grind forward. He gasped as I brushed against his pulsating shaft. I growl lodged in his throat as hunger drove him to push against me back to the tree. "You torture me with my own body," he whispered into my ear. "Just when I thought I could stop your abuse."

"You call this abuse?" I asked.

"You're manipulating my entire body."

"Most of this is your fault," I whispered. I licked his jawline, watching him close his eyes in pleasure.

"This wouldn't have happened if you didn't kiss me in the first place."

I threaded my fingers through his hair. "Like this?" I asked, then kissed his red tattoo. Then I placed my lips to his, tonguing my way into his mouth. He growled again as he took over with ferocity, biting down on my tongue and lower lip at regular intervals. I found my hands at his pant line, pulling him to me by the hem.

"Don't do that," he whispered. "It makes it worse."

"I know it does," I answered. "What, have you had enough? No torturing me back?"

He left a light kiss on my lips. "You're torture has already begun."

*****

Gaara had taken me back to Sunagakure without another bout of affection. He became cold toward me, making me confused about him. Well, being intelligent, I figured that this was as far as he had gotten in the plans of torturing me since I turned his world upside-down when he retrieved me. He was going to ignore me like I ignored him, even though I merely left him to seek me out in his own curiosity. I wouldn't let this bother me. His torture rested in my reaction; a reaction he wouldn't get.

Nights were the worst on our trip. Even though we both could see well enough to keep going and neither of us slept, we made camp anyway. We spent the whole night staring in different directions without exchanging a word. I tried to leave him twice, but each time he encased me in a ball of sand and left me there until morning. He would then release the ball, grab my wrist, and move forward, without a word. All I got was a glare, if I was lucky.

Now we stood at the entrance of Sunagakure. The same guards looked at us as we walked in, none making a sound. Gaara frightened them more than I did when they found out I was alive. He led me down a familiar path into the center of Sunagakure, but I couldn't distinguish where he was taking me. I knew the places, and even where he was turning next, but I didn't know where we would end up.

Turns out, he led me to his own house. I said nothing about already knowing the path to it, but instead I watched him shut the door behind me. He turned to me and growled, "This is now your home, make the best of it."

"You realize that I'm going to go back to my home at some time or another, right?"

"Then I will go with you," he answered.

"What if you go on a mission?" I wondered. "How are you going to go with me then?"

"You will have the perfect opportunity to escape then, won't you?" he asked with sarcasm. "Until then, you remain in my sight."

"What if you blink?" I asked with my own sarcasm.

He grabbed my wrist. "Then I'll hold onto you at all times."

I glared at him intensely. "I hate you sometimes," I hissed.

"The feeling is mutual," he growled. "However, I'm not going to let you get away from me." He sounded like a predator, playing with its food before eating me alive.

"Just because you don't let me doesn't mean I won't leave anyway. I don't need to ask permission to do anything."

He growled at me, "Then I'll be there for everything you do."

"I have to go to the bathroom," I smirked. "You're not going to join me for that."

"And risk letting you climb out the window?" he retorted. "I think not."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom, even though I didn't really have to pee. I flicked on the lights to see him standing over me, with his arms folded, watching me. "Get out," I demanded.

He leaned against the wall, "No. You're not getting away from me."

I glared at him then stepped out of the bathroom. "I hate you sometimes!" I yelled back at him.

He grabbed me from behind and pinned me to the wall, forcing me to face his snarl. "I don't care if you hate me or if you somehow fall in love with me. I have set my sights on your pain and I won't rest until I have my satisfaction. If that involves me forcing you to stay here, then so be it. You think I want to endure seeing you every day?" he hissed. "I don't. When I am ready to end this, then I will end this."

"End what, Gaara?" I asked, angered. "You have me in your clutches. You don't even have to kill anyone else to get to me. I'm here. Torture me," I challenged.

I could see the hatred in his eyes as his snarl's intensity increased. I could feel the heat of loathing someone well inside me, dying to escape. I wanted to attack Gaara, to kill him. I could see my own hatred through the reflection in his eyes. When I noticed, his snarl turned to a smirk of contentment. "End your little charade," he whispered. "I'm going to keep you until I feel that your lies have ended."

"I am not lying to you," I hissed. "I hate you, I used you for information, and I don't regret it. I was working under orders."

"You want me," he growled. "You want me and you know it. You might hate me, Tsuki, but you want me."

"I want nothing to do with you," I snapped.

"Is that why you didn't fight my kiss?" he asked.

"I kissed you to prove you wrong."

"If I kissed you now, you wouldn't kiss me back?" he challenged.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Not even to satisfy your own body's cravings? You're a woman, Tsuki. Surely you must have wants and desires."

"None of them involve you."

"Just Orochimaru, right?" he hissed.

I slapped him, hearing the crack as his sand failed to react. "How dare you," I growled. "You keep trying to use him against me."

"You're determined to go to great lengths to prove you don't love him, yet it's so clear that you want him more than anything. I can see how you look at him; the same way I look at you. You resent him for never being able to return it, don't you?"

"I don't love him."

"You don't love him, you don't love me, and you don't love Sasuke."

"How did you know about Sasuke?" I asked.

"I'm not stupid, Tsuki. I could see the way he looked at _you._ He wants you just as I do, only he doesn't want to kill you. He went to Orochimaru just to see you again. Too bad you're not there. No, you're here with me." He parted my lips with his, brushing his tongue against mine briefly. "I wonder what he would do if he knew."

"Kill you," I growled.

"He couldn't lay a hand on me," Gaara arrogantly smirked. "You did more than he could. Do you have another plan?"

"Sasuke killing you was never in my 'plan'. I don't even have a plan for you."

"Why not?" he asked, hungered.

"You're not worth it," I retorted.

"I was expecting more from you," he whispered. "It's not like you to give up so soon. You're no fun at all."

"Perhaps you'll just get bored with me."

"I could never be bored with you, Tsuki. Even if I have to provoke a reaction, you're never boring." He brushed my hair off my neck and whispered in my ear, "Maybe you'll find me entertaining as well." The feeling of his warm breath sent shivers through me. "That's what I wanted," he whispered again. "See, you want me."

His lips brushed against mine as he pulled my from the wall and into his arms. I pushed against his chest, struggling against his strength. The gourd of sand he carries must be heavy enough to sculpt his torso muscles, because I couldn't pull away from him. I was strong for a konoichi, too. He was stronger.

"Stop fighting me, Tsuki. You can't get away from me," his rasping voice whispered. He nibbled my neck. "You're safe with me, for now."

"I will never stop fighting you," I hissed. "Not even if my life depends on it."

"You've already told me just how much you value your life," he whispered. "I don't care about killing you, I just want you to suffer. If you die, it's less hassle for me."

"That's nice to know," I hissed. "Let go of me." I pushed against him one more time, to fall to the floor. He released me, only to sit next to me.

"Your efforts are wasted," he spat. "I know you're never going to accept me for who I am, nor are you going to accept that you're mine."

"Maybe I don't want to be yours," I retorted.

"Maybe I don't want to love you," he answered.

"That's your own fault," I hissed.

"Because you're a flirtatious bitch? How the hell is that my fault?"

I had never heard Gaara curse before. "I wasn't flirting with you."

"No, you just kissed me," he growled.

"Don't pretend you didn't like it."

"You're right, I must have because you're here so I must want more."

I pulled him to me, forcing his lips to mine. He pushed me to the floor, on my back, with him over me. If he wants more, he'll get more.


	9. Stage Nine

Stage Nine:

I left Gaara lying on the floor. I didn't care if I did damage to him. I didn't care if he tracked me down. I wasn't going to put up with him. Why I did in the first place, I may never understand. Perhaps I was just too upset with myself for caring about Orochimaru. Maybe it was the spinning chaos of my memory that weakened my mind. I never tried to figure out.

I found myself sitting on the mountain ridge that I had climbed on my trip back to Sunagakure. I was looking into the desert night when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Running away from me, Child?"

"No, my Lord, I'm not running from you. I'm sorry, I just wanted answers."

"I have all of the answers. I am your past, Child."

"Not to that, my Lord. I wanted to know about my parents."

Orochimaru sat by me. I noticed that he was wearing his chunin exam disguise. The standard jounin garb enclosed his muscular form. "How did it end for you, my Dear?" he asked.

"I didn't find anything," I lied. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't show him weakness. "I'm not disappointed. I'm just, unsettled. I thought there would be more for me to know, but everything has disappeared."

"I understand," he whispered.

I rested my head on his shoulder. He was stiff, ridged. "Has something else happened to you, Child?" he asked.

I realized that I had made an error. I sat up, pulling away from him. Being away from him had made me softer, more vulnerable than I should be. "I'm sorry, my Lord, I'm just tired. I want to go home. This journey has been long."

"You're far from home," he replied.

I looked at him. He was softer than he had ever been toward me. If anything, he was stricter with me than with anyone else in Otogakure. I just didn't understand. "My Lord, something is different."

"Something is different, Little One." He looked up at the stars. "I knew that one day you'd go back to Sunagakure. Natural curiosity, it gets to us all."

"I thought you'd be angrier."

"You're a woman, Tsuki. You have a right to know. I was angry at first, but it's been a month since you've left, and I realized that I did the same thing."

"If I was Kin, would you be angry?" I asked.

"Kin perished."

I looked at him in shock. "What?"

"She didn't make it through the Chunin Exams. I knew that you and she were close."

"I'm surprised. I wasn't close to her. I don't get attached."

"You do, under the right circumstances."

"Anyone does, my Lord." I looked into his eyes. Either I could take a chance and jeopardize his trust in me, or I just let it pass and live with my own what ifs. Kakuzu had found a few bruises along my neck and jaw. Would that be all that would be found if I revealed what Gaara forced me to realize?

"Something is on your mind, Child."

"Yes, my Lord, there is. However, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it."

"Is there a reason you're not ready? You know you can tell me anything."

"I do know; I just don't know how I feel about it yet. It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust myself to say the right thing."

"How would you say the wrong thing?" he asked.

"I don't talk to people for a reason."

"Why not?"

"The same reason you don't."

"People just don't understand what's going on?"

"That's how I feel anyway. I just don't want to say the wrong thing and offend you." I looked down at the desert below us.

"Is it about me?" he asked.

"No. I just know how relentless you are about hiding things from you. I don't want to do the wrong thing."

"All your life you have done everything for me. I couldn't ask for more," he whispered.

I was confused about him. He wouldn't look at me when he spoke. He was saying things that he would never say. He was being someone I never thought Orochimaru to be. "My Lord, are you upset?" I asked, softly.

"Well, if you're asking if my shinobi are disappointing, if the only one who shows any promise ran away from me and is hiding something, or if you're asking if the container that I so desire has been delayed, then yes." He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "I've tracked you across the River Country, found that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki, then taken by Gaara. You're hard to find, it was as though you were hiding from me. What happened child."

"I don't understand his use for me. The Akatsuki leader never told me anything. Gaara was just upset when he found out that I was only using him. He was even angrier when he realized that I didn't even care."

Orochimaru's strike came fast. I found myself face up on the rock, looking into his angered eyes from under the mountainous stars. My heart raced, and not because he was mad at me, but because he was beautiful. Every emotion was an extreme with him: anger, frustration, sadness. Would passion be the same?

"You're running from me."

"My Lord," I whispered.

"Don't ever run from me again."

"And if I ran to you?"

He looked into my eyes. "Stand," he commanded.

I did what I was told, only to be pushed against a cliff. "If you wanted to run to me, you'd have come home."

"I should have come home," I answered.

"You will come home."

"I have to, my Lord."

He leaned in toward me. It was something he normally did when he was mad at me and had me pinned. It emphasized his fury. "You disappointed me, child. Why should I let you come back with me? I should kill you for double crossing me."

"I would understand if you did, my Lord. To be honest, I've been expecting it."

"Then you will get what you deserve," he growled.

I reached under his grasp for the gift he gave me long ago. "Well, my Lord, I thought I'd fight you when the time came for you to kill me. I knew then that I wouldn't stand a chance against you, I just didn't want to go without a fight." I sighed and threw the katana and it skidded across the rock. "But now I know that I can't."

"You're weak," he breathed.

"Maybe I'm just strong enough to realize that I don't want to fight you."

"You're something else, Child."

"You're not the first to tell me that." I reached up and placed a hand on his chest. "Kill me if you desire, my Lord."

"You're hiding something from me," he growled. He grabbed my hand and dropped it. "I want to know what it is."

"You know, I don't think it matters," I told him.

He slapped me. "It matters. Don't ever think it doesn't. If I ask for information, never hold back. I want to know what it is."

It was a direct order. I placed my hand back on his chest and looked into his honey golden eyes. "Sensei," I whispered.

His lips met mine. I don't know if he knew, or if he was just drunk that night. His arms enclosed around me, pulling me to him. It was tantalizing bliss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his silky hair cascade around us as he leaned forward. He bit my bottom lip, sending a waterfall of chills throughout my body.

I parted his lips and his tongue met mine. I felt every breath he took, every pulse of his heart. I had twisted my back handed slap of reality into a fantasy that I never wanted to escape. Normally I would be afraid of the future, but I figured that I would worry later.

He had such hunger. I never thought of Orochimaru as one to have physical needs. He was more of a man than I had realized. He's been violent to me many times before, but I never understood why he was so quick to fight. Now I realized that it was his pleasure. It was his passion.

"Tsuki," he whispered, "how long?"

"I don't know," I answered.

He quickly flicked his tongue against mine once more. "I can make you a woman," he breathed. His hand traced the hem line of my skirt as be buried his head at the nape of my neck, nicking and sucking with expertise.

"My Lord," I whispered.

He thrust me against the rock wall and whispered, "You would be a wonderful woman to have." He pressed his body to mine, and god was he hard. I groaned against his pressure. He was torture; pure, aggressive, beautiful torture that even Gaara would be ashamed of.

"Orochimaru," I sighed. I was no novice at seduction. He had ordered it many times when he thought it was the way to get what he wanted from others. I slid my hand down from his neck to the zipper of his vest, pulling it down until it unlatched. I pushed it over his broad shoulders, hearing it drop to the ground.

"Damn you Child, look at what you have done to me. I should have known that someday you would turn on me," he growled. He kissed me roughly, gathering the fullness of my breasts in his hands.

I traced my nails down his chest, feeling him flex below my touch as so many had done before. They didn't taste like he did, they didn't command me like he has, and they couldn't hope to have me like he does. I slid my tongue between his lips. He met me with hunger once more, squeezing my chest.

"My Lord, this isn't like you," I whispered. Something was wrong, and I couldn't just accept his reaction.

"I'm not sorry," he breathed.

It clicked for me. I slid my hand down his thigh, scratching through the fabric of his pants. His lips touched mine once more, though they didn't render the same reaction from me as before. I opened the kunai pouch and pulled out one of the knives. His tongue pressed against mine as I rested my hand on his shoulder, still holding the weapon.

I flicked my wrist and stabbed the impostor. I heard the splinter of wood before he screamed and knew that my accusations were correct: this wasn't Orochimaru at all. I spun and kicked him in the chest, knocking Sasori backwards. He looked up at me and spat, "You saw through me."

"Orochimaru would never say that he isn't sorry. You almost had me fooled."

Sasori grinned. "I've known him for years. He isn't hard to impersonate. You almost had me convinced that you thought he was a bastard. Turns out that you loved the monster all along." He grabbed my katana and laughed softly. "This is a beautiful weapon. No doubt, he gave it to you. Why shouldn't he? Orochimaru is still a man, and any man who looks at you and doesn't want you beneath him isn't a man at all."

I summoned the sword out of his hands, disgusted by his words. "A man can control himself, unlike you." I quickly pulled hand signs that were instinct for me, summoning Fire Release: Flame Flower. Instantly three balls of fire came down upon Sasori, engulfing him in an inferno.

I quickly ran from the scene, feeling violated and quite dirty. Having met Sasori opened my eyes about what I was doing, even if it was him who said it. I had to go home, and my home didn't lie with Sunagakure.

I was sitting against a bookshelf when Kabuto walked in, going over the notes of what happened at the Chunin exams.

"My Lord, The River Country is requesting payment."

"Payment for what," Orochimaru asked.

"Invasion of the Akatsuki, and from what their letters said, the Akatsuki is looking for her." He pointed to me, thinking that Sensei would think they were talking about Tayuya or someone else around here.

"I am aware of their interest in her. However, I am not providing funds. I am not at fault for their quest to find her."

"Should I reply?" Kabuto asked.

"No, let them hire someone else to handle it. They are of little concern to me."

"I would just hand them the girl."

"Out of the question." Orochimaru looked at him with annoyance.

Kabuto walked out of the room. "Are you sure that ignoring the River Country is the best idea?" I asked. "They could be a good ally to have."

"Potentially, yes," he answered, "but they are not a ninja country, nor do they have any military power. They are nestled between the Leaf and the Sand, with no valuable resources that I could use. They are a peaceful country, and not of my interest. Don't question my decision again."

"I won't, my Lord."

I was thankful that it wasn't Orochimaru who met me in the mountains, but knowing that the entire Akatsuki was looking for me, I then knew that Sasori was being used for what he truly is: a puppet. Pein sent him to me, and only Pein knows why. I don't understand why I am so damn important, but I can't ask Orochimaru for answers without making up a complete lie. I will never lie to him, but I will hide from his wrath.

My only punishment for running turned out to be a mild one: I couldn't leave his sight. I was bored, which turned out to be the whole punishment in itself. He would work in his study, going over paperwork, scrolls, and books. If he wasn't there, he dragged me to the lower levels to over see his endless experiments. They were gruesome, but I didn't mind. I passed my time reliving Sasori's invasion, only imagining that it was really Orochimaru who kissed me so wildly.

"Tsuki," Orochimaru hissed.

I was snapped back into reality when I stupidly replied, "What?" Having realized my error before he got angry, I quickly added, "My Lord, I was lost in thought."

He beckoned for me to come forward. "What do you see child?"

I peered into the microscope. I saw little red cells dividing rapidly beneath the lense. "I see increased cell turnover, rapid cell decomposition, and loss of mitochondria activity," I answered. "What am I looking at, my Lord?"

"It is a complex jutsu on muscle cells, causing them to break down and spread their genes to their daughter cells. Within twenty-four hours, the entire body will diminish and die, due to loss of protein."

"Could this jutsu be altered for medical purposes to allow for the growth of muscle mass, instead of losing it?" I asked, looking up from the eye piece.

"Absolutely, if you have the power to do so."

"So it would be likely that only you could reverse the effects of this jutsu?" I asked.

"Highly," he answered. He rested one hand beside me and leaned over my shoulder to look at the sample.

His hair brushed my shoulder, sending shivers through me. It was just as silky, if not more than Sasori's portrayal of him. I absent mindedly ran my fingers through it, to find his hand at my wrist, gripping it with enough pressure to make it go numb. I knew that it was a mistake. It was careless.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"I don't know what came over me."

His golden eyes glared into mine, reflecting back my own astonishment at my mistakes. I am careless. My eyes were forced open, and I couldn't shut the images out.

I shifted away from him, looking away from his eyes, focusing on his markings. I could feel his stare burn into me, searching for my reason. Not even I could find it.

He brought my body close to him, pressing me to his chest. He lowered his head to my neck, I could feel his breath on my skin. I felt the goose bumps rise all over me. I tried to move away, and he let go of my wrist to hold my neck in place. I closed my eyes, watching my memories of Sasori play through my head, but I tried to press them out.

His lips brushed my skin. I could feel my pulse against him. My head was clouded; I couldn't predict what he was about to do until he did it.

I felt the sharp stinging pressure of my skin puncturing. I didn't utter a sound. Every three months this would happen, and every three months I would stand and take the pain. His venom coursed through my veins, searing my nerves with the burning of a thousand flames.

His venom always intoxicated my mind. I felt his flesh underneath my palm, I felt my nails digging into his hand, still holding my neck. I was trapped in his bite, and he refused to let go.

One of the first things that I learned from Orochimaru was the growth of snakes. A young snake is the most dangerous, because if it is venomous, it has no control of the amount that is transferred into the bite. However, a fully adult snake can control the amount it produces and gives. It is even possible to get bitten without any venom being delivered.

I had gotten bitten over twenty times by various pit vipers and cobras. Three of those bites were registered as having no venom. I remember him holding my hand out, forcing me to become a victim of life threatening paralysis, but in the end, he proved that I could trust him to make sure that nothing came of it.

Every time I receive one of his curse marks, I relive those days. I understand that, even though it will be gone in two hours, he is only doing this for my good.


	10. Stage Ten

Stage Ten: Venom

I woke up on the exam table where I was studying the effects of mitochondria-less muscle cells. Orochimaru was reading over some paperwork, but noticed when I woke up.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Three hours. The venom is gone."

I have always wanted to ask this question. "Why do you inflict the curse marks, if you know the venom fades?"

"To study you," he answered.

That explains why I always woke up on a table with him reading the same notes. "I'm just an experiment?" I asked.

"Yes and no," he replied, "you are a mystery that I need to solve, but you have far more uses than just being an experiment."

"I have been here for nearly ten years and you still haven't figured out why the venom fades?"

"If I had, I would have altered it to keep you under control."

"I am under control," I answered.

He gripped my wrist again, and forced my hand over his. I felt the wounds that I inflicted. Under my palm I felt him healing himself. "It was a reaction."

"You have gotten weak," he whispered. "You can't even fight me."

"When I was gone, I realized that I don't want to fight you." The answer slipped from my lips before I could get a hold of what I had just said.

He looked me in the eyes, confusion etched into his face. "I taught you to be a fighter. Why would you go against that?" His tone was curious, versus the anger that I thought he would have had toward me.

"You're not angry?" I asked.

"When injected with venom, I have noted that its only effect alters your state of mind. It acts as a drug to you. It calms you down, then brings you into a sleep that doesn't render your chakura pressure out of control. One of the many things I desire to understand is how it effects you thinking."

"I feel more alert when I wake up, not really rested. My mind feels like it was freed from some restriction."

Orochimaru wrote quickly while I spoke, making note of these things. "And during the infliction?"

"I can't think; I can barely move. It doesn't really hurt, beyond the initial bite."

He wrote some more notes. "Anything else that you feel?"

"A bond, I guess." That was a stupid remark and I knew it. I could only hope he would treat it like a reaction to a drug: not my real thinking.

"A bond as in how?" he asked.

"I don't know how to describe it."

"Affection?" he asked, almost leading me into a corner.

I felt trapped. "I really don't know what that's like," I answered.

"Trust?" he asked, trying for another direction.

"My Lord, do you remember when you forced me to undergo that experiment with the snake venom?"

"Quite clearly," he answered.

"I distinctly remember that, every time you bite me I relive the snakes, the feeling of their various venoms coursing through my hand and arm. I remember you extracting the venom from me. That lesson wasn't just about snakes for me, it was a lesson in trust. Every time you ask me to do something I think is dangerous, or even stupidly suicidal, I remember those days when I would be subjected to bite after bite, only to trust your better judgement."

"So you do feel trust."

"I always trust you, my Lord. I just feel that trust strengthen every time you grant me the mark."

"How do you rest?" he asked, shifting the subject.

"I don't know if I dream," I answered, "and I don't feel sorrow or anger. I don't know if I'm rested, but I feel peaceful when I wake up."

For a moment I heard scratching on the paper and nothing more. I could hear his breathing, and then his heart beat. I could smell the faint smell of his skin: a musky smell. I could see the rising and falling of his chest, the subtle movement of his hair stirring over his shoulder as he looked at me.

"Is there anything else?" he asked me.

"Nothing else," I answered.

"Is there something bothering you?"

"No, I'm just gathering my senses."

"Your senses, is something off?" he asked, concerned.

"No, I just feel strange. I don't sleep, and I'm not adjusted to waking up. It's disorienting for me. I know that you don't wake up all the way alert, but for me, it's unbearable."

"You said that you feel more alert when you wake up."

"I feel more alert when the drowsiness wears off. I don't know if that's because I am comparing it to the sleepy feeling or if I am more alert because of the venom, but that's my reaction."

"How do you feel now?" he asked.

"I feel normal now."

"The high has worn off?"

"Yes, if that's what you want to call it."

"Do you think it would help your insomnia?" Orochimaru asked abruptly.

"It forces me to sleep, but I'm not sure I would give up my insomnia. It keeps me alert and allows me to make use of eight hours that I feel would be wasted."

"You don't feel that the lack of sleep harms your health?"

"I haven't slept regularly in ten years. I am doing fine now."

"Then how do you know that you can't benefit from it?"

"Are you saying that you want to start an experiment on me?"

"I want to observe your performance under the influence of sleep, and under the influence of my venom."

"Couldn't that spark a dependency on the intoxication? An addiction is the last thing that I need. You rely on me to be alert. I don't want to be worried about when I can get my next dose."

"It will be controlled. You won't be leaving my sight for the next three months, Child. Why not use it to better my understanding of you?"

"I am concerned about the addiction that may stem from this."

"If one forms, I'll slowly step you down. You will be in no danger my Child."

"I still am not sure about this. It's not you that I don't trust, my Lord. It's my reaction and the change in behaviour."

"You won't leave my sight. No matter what your reaction, you will be safe." He walked out of the room, finalizing his decision. I was there when he bit Anko, Kimimaro, and Tayuya. None of them could sustain the pain of the venom. I would be subjected to it once a week for the first month, every other day for the second, and every night for the third, just to have the process reversed after the testing was done.

I followed him out of the small experimental room, questioning all the possible outcomes of this testing. None of it seemed like something I would do, but then again, no one seems to be themselves when on a drug.

That Night:

I found myself in Orochimaru's chambers with him sitting on the floor with two cups and a bottle of sake in front of him. He was quite coherent, so I had figured that he hadn't touched the alcohol yet.

"Kabuto said you summoned me, my Lord," I stated as I stepped through the door.

"I did. You and I need to discuss your terms of the experiment."

"And the sake?" I asked, out of curiosity.

"Part of the terms," he answered. "I need to know how much you can consume."

"Why are there two saucers?"

"One should never drink alone," he grinned.

I sat across from him, and watched him pour our first round. The milky white liquid was a bitter relief. I watched Orochimaru sip his serving in silence. He watched me without saying a word. I was watching him with equal reserve.

Within three drinks, the space between us had closed and we were laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. His cold laughter seemed to warm me up. I rolled on my side and looked at him. Somehow his yukata opened to reveal the pale skin of his chest. His muscles were defined.

Not knowing what would stop me, as he seemed to be in a good mood and neither of us would remember this in the morning, I placed my hand on his chest. He looked me in the eyes and sat up.

I pulled my hand away, but he covered it with his, holding it to his chest. He wrapped an arm under me, leaning forward. I moved my hand from his chest to his neck as he used his arm to support himself over me. I ran my fingers through his hair and found out why he had grabbed my wrist so tightly the first time.

His eyes closed and a look of bliss washed over his face as I gently pulled through the silky raven strands. Once free of my grasp he looked at me with calmness in his eyes. He clutched my side as I ran my fingers through his hair once more, the same look of pleasure came from him as well as a sigh.

With his arm under me, he pulled me beside him, sitting up. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling my body to his. Before I knew it, I was sitting on his lap. I could feel him beneath me, pulsating steadily, rapidly. Sasori had underestimated him. He was buried in my neck, biting and sucking gently. I couldn't take it anymore. The longing had become too powerful to bear.

His hands pushed up my shirt, just enough to expose my abdomen. He caressed my skin lightly, sending shivers through me. Everywhere he touched seemed to be on fire. His skin smelled like pure, undiluted lust. I could see the rage in his eyes. I could feel his hunger.

My mouth became dry as I studied him. I licked my lips, igniting some trigger in his mind. I felt his lips pressed to mine, so soft and gentle. He tasted of the alcohol, but also a sweet underlying flavour met my senses. He bit my lower lip lightly. I felt a cascade of shivers flow through me. No man had such power over me, not even when Sasori tried to fool me.

He parted my lips and flicked his tongue against mine and I erupted with desire. With each movement I needed him, wanted nothing more for him to flip me over and command me, all of me.

Even though I knew his need was great, he was slow and methodical. I was at his disposal, all he had to do was shift under me ever so slightly and he could take me right there. He didn't. He would rest his hand on my thigh and push my skirt up slightly, rubbing the flesh, or skim up my shirt and massage the bud of my breast. I wanted to be moved by him, to feel his longing.

He took a hold of me by the waist and moved me to the wooden floor. He placed his hand above my knee and slid up, toward the heart of my passion. He didn't stop until he was under my skirt, caressing my inner core. Each stroke of his finger shot through me, every slide of his hand brought more need.

I pushed the pale fabric over his shoulders and watched it slide down to his forearms. He leaned over me, ceasing his gentle touches and looked me over. He pressed his lips to mine with rough desire, sending my mind into a frenzy.

My mind was clouded by the sake. I could hear Sasori's taunting. _"Orochimaru is still a man, and any man who looks at you and doesn't want you beneath him isn't a man at all." _I was sickened at the thought of Sasori's manipulation. Orochimaru wasn't that kind of fool, although here he was, slowly seducing me out of my mind.

He lifted my chin to meet his kiss. Without breaking away, he slowly began to stand, guiding me to my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and locked lips with him, licking his lower lip. He backed me to the wall, pinning me in place with the weight of his body.

The Next Morning:

I woke to find myself alone and hooked up to machines in the medical wing. I could hear faint breathing next to me, and found Kimimaro beside me. _It was just a dream. Nothing happened between Orochimaru-Sensei and myself. It was so real, I could really feel him. _

"You're awake?" Kimimaro asked. His voice was bored, weak, and monotonous.

"I am," I answered. "How did you know?"

"Your eyes were open," he stated. "It's been a while since I've seen you."

"Orochimaru has kept me busy," I answered.

"Last I heard, you went back to Suna."

"Kabuto told you, didn't he?" I asked.

"He did." Kimimaro looked at the monitors he was hooked up to and sighed.

He and I were never close. We nearly hated each other. Ever since he was diagnosed with his disease, he always had me pegged as his replacement in Orochimaru's eyes. Orochimaru had a grand plan for our future. With Kimimaro's physical perfection and my unique chakura, our children were supposed to be the ultimate warrior. Now that his body was disintegrating before all of our eyes, Orochimaru gave up on that hope.

"Tsuki," Kimimaro sighed, "Have you ever thought about death?"

"Nearly every day I have thought about dying, and what happens after we die."

"Why do you think about death?"

"I wonder what happened to my family, or what would happen if I had died along side them." I wouldn't tell him that I knew Orochimaru was going to kill me.

"You wouldn't be here if you had."

"I don't know if that would be a blessing or a curse," I sighed.

"Sometimes I wish I had never fallen for his lies. I feel as though I was discarded, and replaced," he spat.

I pulled the wires off of my body and got up. "I could never replace you. I'm not you, I don't have your kekigenkai."

"You have my strength."

"Only my chakura is stronger. My body is weaker than yours."

"Not now it isn't," he sighed.

I took his hand, not knowing what else I should say.

He looked at me. "You didn't have to do that. You don't have to stay here. I'm sure Orochimaru has need of you."

"Not for a while, he doesn't."

He closed his eyes. I felt his fingers thread through mine, though only the monitors broke the silence. I sat on the bed beside him and stroked his hand softly. He was the only person I could trust when I had first met him. Even though we never got along, we always had a respect for each other. Things truly aren't the same without him. I couldn't imagine what life would be like with him gone.


	11. Stage Eleven

Stage Eleven: The Experiment Part One

Month 1: Week 1: Day 2

Orochimaru eventually summoned me through Kabuto. I shoved him into a wall and walked the course to Orochimaru's study. I could hear Kabuto behind me the entire time, staying a measurably safe distance from me, though I don't think any distance is safe, not when he is concerned.

I slid open the door to the Study. "You requested to see me, my Lord?"

"I did," he answered, motioning me to come inside the study. His eyes followed me inside, and then fell behind me to watch Kabuto slink in. He approached Orochimaru with a stack of papers and set them down on the desk, then turned to leave.

I walked to Orochimaru's desk, looking at the papers. They were the results of last night's sleep. My blood pressure and heart rate were stable, though low. My brainwaves weren't ecstatic, so dreaming didn't occur. I wondered about last night's dream. If the charts said that my brain didn't have large amounts of activity, would it be possible that I could dream in a low wave state?

"I watched you sleep last night," he stated. "You didn't move at all."

"Do I normally move, Sensei?"

He looked up at me. "No, but you're not normally asleep for eight hours. I heightened your dose based on the volume to time ratio."

"You dosed me with twice the normal amount," I commented.

"A little more than that," he answered. "But essentially yes. How are you feeling?"

"I feel ponderous," I answered.

"Why?"

"I'm wondering what happens after death."

"What sparked this thought?"

"Kimimaro did."

"You spoke to him. Did you feel anything else before that, or was anything unusual?"

"I didn't yell at him. No argument broke out."

"That is strange. Did you dream?" he asked, before looking at the charts.

"That depends, were you drinking last night?"

He looked at me with anger in his eyes. "You dare question my actions, child?"

"Then yes, I was dreaming." He didn't answer my question. I really needed to know. It could have not been a dream, and I wouldn't be able to tell unless he told me.

"You dreamed of me drinking?" he asked.

"I dreamed that we were drinking."

"You show no signs of activity."

"I know, I was wondering about that my self."

"Do you have any thoughts about this?"

"Have you ever studied my brain waves before?"

"No, I've never had a reason to."

"Having nothing to compare my dream state to my awoken state, then there's no evidence to say that I didn't have sporadic activity last night. There are minor flexuations in the activity at steady intervals."

"They are too minor to indicate dreaming, Child."

"Just as the dose of venom you gave me is too much for any human to have survived."

He surveyed the information, mapping out on the charts where flexuations were. "The study of your brain waves will have to wait. I won't have that information tainted by any side effects of the venom."

Month 1: Week 3: Day 15

I could feel my thought patterns changing. I could feel myself getting more tired as the week went on. By the time Saturday came around, I felt exhausted. My body had quickly become accustomed to the sleep, and it felt as though ten years was coming crashing down on my mind.

I knew that the dependency was forming. I could feel it in my veins. The venom took longer to wear off with the increased dose. I could still feel the effects on my mind in the morning. Orochimaru would ask me a set of random questions, varying from "What was the first thing you thought of this morning?" to "What colour was the dream predominately in?" Each week would host a set of different questions.

I was sitting on the corner of his desk, waiting for this week's random questions. He was looking over the paperwork, searching for patterns. I watched him work, studying every feature.

Accepting that Gaara was right had to be the worst mistake I had ever made.

"What do you remember of last night?" he asked

"I don't remember anything beyond handing in my paperwork."

"What of the initial bite?"

"I haven't remembered any of them."

"How does your body react when I would give you the normal dose?"

"Warmth, like fire spreads through me before I get the sensation of tingles from head to toe, then I get cold, and then I black out."

"You don't feel anything with the higher dose?"

"Not that I am aware of," I answered. Nothing other than lust, but that would just spark an anger that I wasn't ready to deal with.

"What is the general mood of your dreams?"

I couldn't find the right word that wouldn't piss him off. . "Happy," was the word I settled with.

"When you wake up, do you feel the desire to do anything?"

"No."

"You don't remember anything at all?"

"Nothing, my Lord."

"Do you remember waking up?"

"Not really."

"What is the first thing you remember?"

"Sitting here."

"You don't remember your summons, you stabbing Kabuto with a kunai, or setting him on fire on your way here?"

"Did I really?" I asked, shocked. If there is one thing I should remember, it's torturing Kabuto. "I have never set him on fire before."

Orochimaru wrote in the margins of his notes. "What do you remember of the week?"

"I get tired as the week goes by, like a curtain is slowly lowering on my mind. I remember doing medical work with Kimimaro, yelling at Kabuto because he bumped into me, yelling at him again for following me, I remember seeing you every night, and reading countless scrolls."

His yellow eyes seemed to glow as he watched me. I could smell a subtle change in him. "My Lord, something is different." My mind shifted back to Sasori, thinking that maybe I was tricked again.

"What is different?" he asked.

"Your scent has changed."

He looked at me for a moment, and then wrote his observation.

Month 2: Week 5: Day 40

Orochimaru was watching me train with Kabuto mid afternoon. I could feel a change in my reflexes. I was slower, less coordinated. Orochimaru seemed to notice this too, especially when Kabuto managed to land a kunai in my shoulder. This was ridiculous. I couldn't stand this experiment anymore.

"Do you feel any slower?" Orochimaru asked after watching me heal the wound.

"I feel a lot slower. I also feel hazy, like my vision is getting blurry. My sinuses are stuffy, and my body hurts."

"Describe the pain."

"Muscle fatigue is the only thing that has ever brought this pain before."

"How is your mental state?"

"I'm slower to think. I stumble for answers, I can't process things as well, and my memory isn't the greatest it's ever been."

"Is there any other physical troubles?"

"I feel nauseous."

"Are you hallucinating?"

"Not yet," I answered.

"What do you mean, not yet?"

"Have you ever had the feeling that something important happened, but you can't remember what it was?"

"No, I have not."

"Have you ever thought something happened, but it turned out to be a dream?"

"That's a hallucination, Child."

"No, it was a dream."

"Are you sure it was?"

I thought about it. All last month I kept having the same "dreams" that I had the first night of the experiment. I kept noticing subtle changes in the people around me after the "dreams" too, but whenever I would ask them, they would always say nothing happened. I wouldn't say the entire dream, but I would ask about something minor.

"Well, not really," I answered.

"Then you were hallucinating." He wrote that down too.

I slammed my head on his desk. I could hear more writing before he asked if I was all right. I answered. "Is this damn experiment over yet?"

"You're almost half way there."

My head started throbbing.

"Anything else that happened before you went to spar with Kabuto?"

"I felt dizzy."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I did."

"I wouldn't have let you fight."

"I told you that my head was spinning."

He paused. I bet he looked at his notes. "No you didn't."

"I'm pretty sure that I did."

"I would have prevented you from fighting," he stated. I could tell he was annoyed.

I would have pressed it further, but he already ruled that I was prone to hallucinations. I wanted to slam my head again, but I didn't feel like moving. "Is laziness a symptom of anything?" I asked.

He wrote a few more things down. "Loss of interest is a sign of depression."

Was I depressed? "Screw that." I sat back up.

He looked at me with an arched eyebrow. "What?" "Fuck depression."

"Language, Child."

"I know, I know. Watch my mouth or else."

He wrote some more things down. What the hell was he writing? I looked over the desk to the stack of papers, which said "increased aggression and mood swings." Mood swings, that's just what I needed. If I weren't all doped up on his spit, he would have slapped me. I wish he had. It might have cleared my mind. "I feel like I have a hangover."

"Why do you feel like you have a hangover?" he asked. "Were you drinking?"

"No, I don't drink. I just realized that this is how I feel in the mornings after you decide that you want a few shots of sake."

He wrote that down. "You only just realized that you feel like this is a hangover?"

"I told you my thought process was slow."

"Do you consciously think?"

"I try not to. Thinking makes my head hurt more than it already does."

"Why does your head hurt?"

"I slammed it into your desk a moment ago."

He glared at me and wrote some more. I thought, _Just slap me you ass hole. How could you force me to go through this? Madness, this is all fucking madness! I'd like to see you inject yourself with poison for three months. I wonder how much it's going to take before it kills me. I'm going to overdose and die. Right here on your desk is where I'm going to die. _I put my head down again and groaned.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I feel like dying," I answered.

"Why?"

"You sir, have successfully tortured me."

I felt his fingers through my hair, and he lifted my head off his desk. "You're not going to die."

"Awe," I groaned, then slammed my forehead back onto the wood. Thank you, laziness.

I heard him thrust a kunai into the wood. "Do you really wish to die?" he whispered. "Do you really wish to throw away all of my efforts to give you a good life? Have I not been merciful to you by taking you in and teaching you everything you know?"

"Not everything," I answered, before slapping my hand to my mouth.

"What did you just say, child?"

"Fuck," I spat.

I felt his slap before I saw it coming. I felt more awake after that.

"What did you say?"

"Well, as I have already shoved my foot into my own mouth, I should tell you that I met Itachi, who brought back memories of my childhood spent in Konohagakure, where I learned my basic training with him."

I didn't see his next attack, either. I found myself pinned to a wall under his force. This is a lot like how I pictured him killing me. It's quite uncanny, really.

Having no desk at my disposal, I slammed my head into his shoulder. "Damn it," I muttered. "I hate this, and I hope you know it."

"What do you hate, Child," he hissed.

"I hate having no control over what I say, or think, or do. Sometimes I am amazed that I am coherent enough to put a sentence together that someone else understands."

I felt the pressure lessen a bit from my shoulders, but I was still quite a bit uncomfortable. I was also disappointed that he was just going to let me talk him out of this. I mean really, am I that important? He should have killed me when I came back, instead of tricking me into this experiment. It isn't about me sleeping; he wants to know how long it will take my dependency to make me controllable. He didn't expect this to impair me the way it does. He just thought that I'd be like the others and get stronger. It's a drug damn it, nothing more.

"Have I not made you happy?"

"You were never supposed to make me happy."

He looked at me with pure confusion. I could tell he was questioning the choice of slapping me again or asking for clarification. I'd better give him the latter so he can get to slapping me.

"You're my reality. The more you don't give a damn, or seem to not give a damn, the more I can retain my sense of what's important. I don't get sidetracked or distracted by stupid things like love, or the desire to impress. The only reason you're trying to control me with this experiment is because you realized that the only thing keeping me here was free will. I'm not afraid of you. I respect you. You taught me more than anyone else can, and more than you realize. You taught me to only care about coming through by any means necessary. People don't matter, things don't matter, and the only thing that does is getting the job done."

"This experiment isn't about control."

"That's a lie and you know it. You want to see how much venom my system can handle before I completely shut down. You want to know if there is a point that makes me stay with you because my life depends on it, like Tayuya's did, or like Kimimaro's does. I'm not blind."

All the pressure that he let go of came back, pressing me back to the wall with all of his strength. "Do you dare question my motives, Child?" he growled.

"I don't question the facts that I already know."

I heard the door slide open and someone stepped in. "My Lord, is this a bad time?" Tayuya asked.

"Fuck my life!" I screamed.

Orochimaru moved a hand to my chest and put another over my mouth.

"Damn, what's her problem."

"I could have sworn you were dead!" I tried to yell through his hand. It just came out as, "I cold have swam you Mir head." Why doesn't anything make sense! I saw her die, right in front of me just last week.

"She's just drugged," he explained, "and quite defiant."

"That's unusual," she muttered. "She never goes against you."

"It's the drug."

"Which drug?"

"Venom."

Tayuya just looked confused. She set a pile of papers on the desk and walked out, closing the door behind her.

"What the hell is your problem," Orochimaru hissed.

"I thought she was dead," I answered.

"Why would she be dead?" he asked with anger.

"Well, I'm doped up. Nothing makes sense to me."

He glared at me.

"Can you put me down?" I asked.

He let go of me, and I allowed myself to slink to the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, I looked up at him. His head tilted a few degrees and his eyebrow arched again. I then realized that I was wearing a skirt. I stood up and banged my head against the wall.

"How many times are you going to attempt giving yourself a concussion?"

"That depends on if my head decides to stop being stuck in molasses."

I felt his hands on my shoulders as he sighed. "This isn't helping you at all, is it?" he asked.

"That obvious, is it?" I answered. "I warned you that it would act like a drug."

He squeezed my already sore shoulders. "It's helping me understand a little more about you." I felt the sharp sting of his bite and the swirl of fire inside me. I collapsed against his chest in weakness. The last thing I felt was his arms under me and the gentle swaying motion of his gait.


	12. Stage Twelve

Stage 12: The Experiment Part Two

Month 2: Week 5: Day 41, Barely

I woke up in the middle of the night not knowing where I was, because I was in a room I had never even seen before. Light breathing came from beside me. I looked over my shoulder to find Orochimaru sleeping. I did the first and only thing that came to mind. I sat up and slammed my head against his headboard, then swore under my breath. Why does this stuff always happen to me?

This is just another one of those damn "dreams," or so I thought.

He woke up and looked at me. "It's too early for you to wake up," he whispered.

"You shouldn't be the one to know I'm awake," I answered.

He sat up and leaned against the wooden frame. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Kimimaro is the one who normally points out that I'm awake. Why am I here?"

"I didn't want you to hurt yourself. When your dose was issued, you seemed unstable. Kabuto isn't here to watch over you. I don't trust anyone else with your care."

"I wouldn't trust him at all," I mumbled.

"Are you still tired?" he asked.

"No," I answered. "I feel fully rested."

He looked out the open window. "It's two in the morning."

I can't figure out for the life of me how he knew that from looking at the stars, but I accepted it. "That doesn't mean anything. My mind is awake."

"Is it?" he asked. He yawned, which triggered me to yawn.

I tried to say yes, but he pushed it off.

"Sleep, Child."

I couldn't possibly sleep knowing that he was beside me, not with the dreams that I have been hallucinating lately. "I'm not tired."

He took my hand and held out the palm. "You have no choice," He bit the flesh, and I hollered in pain. That hurt more than usual. The usual burning sensation coursed through my veins, taking the venom straight to my heart, only it was agonizingly slower because the vessels were smaller and the location of the wound was father away.

"It takes hours for snake venom to reach the heart," I told him.

"I know it does."

"It takes even longer for it to reach the brain."

"I am aware."

I folded my arms. My hand felt cold to the touch. It didn't take long before I started to shiver. "Write this down. When you bite me anywhere but my neck, I shiver."

"We don't know if it has to do with where I bit you or if it's because of the window being open."

"Either way, I'm still cold."

He took the hand he bit again and pulled me to his bare chest. He felt so warm beneath me. He wrapped his arms around me after pulling the blanket to my shoulders, lending me his heat. "Sleep, Child."

Month 2: Week 5: Day 41, Still

I woke up to the same damn beeping that always greets me, and then to Kimimaro pointing out to me, "You're awake."

I sat up, feeling the weight of an extra blanket on my chest fall to my lap. "How long have I been in here?" I asked him

"Since Orochimaru carried you in, at around eight."

I looked at my hand, where I could still see two puncture wounds about an inch apart. I also felt as though an elephant, an ice cold and ten-ton elephant, trampled me. "Did he come back since?"

"No, he didn't. Why do you ask?"

"Did I wake up at all through the night?"

"Not that I know of, but why are you asking these questions?"

"I just had a strange dream, that's all." I got up, pulled off all of the little pads that were attached to my skin, and looked at him. "Fucking dreams, why does anyone find joy in sleeping?"

"Most people need to sleep, or they go crazy."

"That's just stupid."

"Well, it seems you go crazy when you do sleep."

"It's not the sleep that makes me crazy. It's the damn drugs that he puts me on to get me to sleep."

"Well, I don't know anything about that. I was bit by him once. It was hell."

"Still is hell for me."

"Every other day now?" he asked. "I used to just see you once a week."

"In three more weeks you'll be seeing me every night."

"That might kill you," he observed.

"At this point, I hope it does. I can't take this anymore, damn it."

"You can't die before I do."

"You couldn't stop me from overdosing if you wanted to. I couldn't even stop me from overdosing."

He just looked at me.

"Orochimaru has probably sent his summons by now," I commented.

"Go, don't keep him waiting."

I slid open the door to his study and saw the cracks on the wall. I didn't even say anything about those. Last night was a disaster. My shoulders were bruised from the pressure. I walked to his desk and sat in the chair adjacent to it. "Good morning, Sensei."

"You're awake early, Child."

I looked at the clock, which read 7:15. This wasn't early at all. This was normal, unless you counted the "dream" I had where I was bitten at two. Then I wouldn't be awake until 10:30. "You bit me again, didn't you?"

He arched an eyebrow. "I bit you last night around eight."

"Did you bite my neck?" I asked.

"Where else would I leave the mark, Child?"

I held up my hand. "Why do I have a bite on my hand?"

"That is curious, isn't it?"

I wanted to backhand him. "Why does this keep happening to me?" I screamed.

"What keeps happening to you?"

"I keep having these dreams about someone or something happening, then I wake up to find that it was only a dream, on that person acts funny or I have physical evidence of something that happened when it really didn't!"

"Calm down, Child. That could just be a scar."

"I don't have scars," I answered. "This doesn't make sense."

"What did you dream of?" he asked.

"I dreamed that I woke up around two, Kabuto wasn't there to alert you, and so you spent the night with me. Then, because I woke up, you gave me another dose of venom to put me back to sleep."

"How did you know Kabuto wasn't here?" Orochimaru asked.

"What do you mean, he isn't here?"

"I sent him out last night."

"Well that's just great. This is what I mean when I say something happens to the people who are involved in my dreams."

"It seems you have a bit of telepathy when you dream."

"I don't think they're dreams."

"If they aren't dreams, then you hallucinate."

"They aren't hallucinations, either. I think everyone here is just lying to me."

He just stared at me. "Why would I lie to you?" he asked.

"You have things you just don't want to admit," I answered.

"You haven't told me all of your dreams, Child."

"No I have not and I refuse to if you ask. Those are personal and everyone just says they aren't real, so there is no point in me telling you every detail."

"Dreams are personal. I understand your reasons fully."

"That's not like you."

He wrote things down before saying, "You're not like yourself, either."

I slammed my head on his desk.

"Why do you do that?" he asked.

"There isn't anything else I can do," I answered. "I can't talk to you without saying something stupid, I can't think without getting a migraine, and I can't move without feeling some sort of pain. I feel like I was trampled by a herd of elephants."

I just heard the sound of pen on paper. My head throbbed in two places. It really felt like I had hit my head on his bed frame. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. This is just great.

Month 2: Week 8: Day 60

"Tomorrow you start the last trimester of the experiment. This month will decide how gradually you will need to be stepped down from the neurotoxin. You will be monitored by me twenty four seven. I have noted that through the course of this month your aggression has gone up, and your common sense has declined."

I watched Orochimaru pace before me. Tonight would be the last night I had to stay awake for thirty whole days. I don't think I could stand this abuse much longer as it was, and now he was doubling up my dosage. This is just crazy shit.

"You're complaining again."

"I had not noticed that I was speaking aloud. How are you going to monitor me?"

"You are to live beside me, not leaving my sight. I won't trust you until I know you are stable. Your body has yet to get used to the drug."

"I don't think I will ever be used to the drug."

"You may build an immunity to it by the end of this."

"I hope I do," I answered, not realizing that I was talking again. "What does that mean?" he asked.

I slapped my hand to my mouth and mumbled, "I never want to feel your fangs on my skin again." I then proceeded to slam my head back on his desk. I was vomiting my every thought to him. It had been like this for a week now, and you would think that I would learn to stop thinking. Thank god I had stopped dreaming about him.

Month 3: Week 9: Day 61

One of my dreams was seeming to come true. I woke up next to Orochimaru, only this time, I knew he wasn't a figment of my imagination. The first clue had to be the fact that I was cuffed to his wrist. The second was the aching pain that normally followed my awakening. The third was the ever annoying sound of those stupid monitors.

I tried to sit up without waking him. He stirred, but was otherwise unbothered by my movement. I stroked his hair gently, listening to the sound of his breathing. This is getting out of hand. I hate being chained to him like I needed a leash.

Month 3: Week 11: Day Who Cares:

Turns out I did need a leash. With this constant doped up state, I was constantly trying to kill people, and by people, I mean Kabuto. I can't count the times that I had to be stabilized because of him, nor how many times I put him under in the medical ward. I didn't care either, simply because I still think he deserved it.

The whole experiment was coming to a close in a matter of the remainder of the week. I spent most of the month banging my head on something or other. I couldn't even talk straight. I just took to writing things down. It was easier that way.

Orochimaru had stopped asking me questions, either because he ran out of things to observe or I threatened to kill myself if he didn't shut up. I had a killer headache that morning, but it got him to stop drilling me about everything.

Later that Week:

"This sucks," I mumbled. The piece of paper I had been using was just filled with mutterings and stupid remarks that it looked as though it was black with white paint spots. I don't know how anyone could read anything on it.

"It's almost over, Child," Orochimaru stated with boredom. "Stop complaining."

"If you would give me something to do, I wouldn't be so damn bored."

"You're a danger to everyone around you and yourself. I can't let you out of my sight. I have explained this to you."

"You have a very boring life, my Lord."

"It is one of productivity, not of entertainment."

"Perhaps," I muttered, looking out the window. "Could you just stop for an hour though?" I asked. It was like a six year old asking her father to take her to the park.

"What would I have you do?" he asked me, setting down the scroll he was reading.

"Something that I haven't tried before, and something that doesn't require anyone to be in my way."

"I don't suspect you have a plan for that, do you?" he inquired.

"Give me half an hour, and I'll have something. Just let me walk it out."

He sighed and swatted his hand at me lazily. I jumped from my chair and headed to the weapon room.


	13. Stage Thirteen

Stage Thirteen: Reacquainted

I stepped outside and walked through the forest to the river's edge. I carried one of the few weapons Orochimaru didn't see fit to train me with, because face it, Shinobi just don't use long bows. They had limited range, few too many projectiles, and took too much time to get a good aim. However, for boredom's sake, it was something worth learning.

I had a quiver of thirty arrows. I had thirty tries before I would be forced to go gather all of them, by hand. Orochimaru made it very clear that he didn't want me to use any of my chakura.

There was always a target range set up in a forest clearing that was directly west of a large, mossy rock. It was a place I used to spend a lot of time practicing for various tests that Orochimaru would give me. There was a split boulder in the middle of the clearing, which was rust covered from all the times I had injured myself trying to navigate kunai around it in mid air. The trees were scarred with wounds from kunai and shurikan, as well as the katana I was given.

Orochimaru gave me a week to become acquainted with the blade before he himself challenged me to spar. I would work through the nights to get the sword to feel like an extension of my arm. He was impressed with my progress when we fought, to say the least.

I smiled as I strung the bow. Once the bowstring was tight, I took stance and pulled an arrow from the cylinder at my back. I knocked it and took aim at a large tree that had a faded red bull's eye. Pulling back the string, I let go. The arrow flew into the leaves, and then fell to the ground at the base of the tree. Five arrows went before I actually hit the target, and I was ten degrees off the centre at eleven o'clock.

"You missed," a voice called from the tree I was shooting at. It was a very familiar voice, but whose voice was it?

"I can see that, thank you," I answered with sarcasm. I pointed the bow up at the tree and shot another arrow as hard as I could.

The only answer was laughter, ice cold. I wanted to remember who it was. Damn Orochimaru and his drugs.

"Get your ass down here," I yelled.

He threw the arrow at my feet and jumped down. In an instant I recognized that tattoo. "Did you miss me?" he hissed.

"Just a bit," I answered, smiling sarcastically.

Gaara folded his arms and stared at me. "I suppose you know what comes next," he sneered.

I laughed and turned back toward the river. "You're not going to do shit." A wall of sand blocked me off from three sides, caging me in.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to do what ever I please."

"So you figured out your master plan?" I asked.

He bit into my shoulder lightly. I barely felt it, as it almost felt as though a fly had hit my shoulder. I reached behind me, grabbed his shoulder and pinned him into his own wall of sand. "You didn't answer me."

His sand surrounded me, binding my body tightly. I formed a chakura pressure field around my body, but it faltered. "You're getting weaker," Gaara observed. "Not fun at all. I was looking forward to the fight."

The tone in his voice gave something away. He had been watching me. He knew all about Orochimaru's experiment. It played right into his game. He had the advantage. I couldn't fight.

Sunagakure

I sat on the familiar couch, feeling dazed. I don't think I'll ever get used travelling with him. It had been three days, and I still had venom in my system. I was getting most of my reaction time back, but I still felt hazed. I felt as though Orochimaru was inside of me, calling me back home, and I had the urge to follow that order. However, I still wasn't strong enough to fight off the jichuriki that sat beside me.

I was tired all the time. He would ask about why I was yawning, even though he made it so clear that he knew. He would also offer to let me sleep if I wanted. I did want to, but I didn't trust him to leave me alone while I slept. Who knows what horrid things he would do to me?

His attitude had improved a bit since the exams. He was more thoughtful, but still pissy. He would sit for hours and look out the window, or stare at something. Meanwhile, I was staring out the window because I was tired, or staring at the same something because I was confused.

He was sitting in a chair at his desk that was turned toward a window, like normal. He was silent, as usual. He ignored me, like always.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked.

"What's wrong with you?" he answered.

"You abduct me again, just to ignore me?"

He didn't answer. I'll take that as a yes. It was strange. He didn't do anything to me. He would glare at me every time I looked like I was thinking of leaving, but otherwise I was forgotten. It was unsettling.

"Tsuki, you should go sleep. You need it now."

"I don't need to sleep, and I don't need you telling me what to do."

"Stop trying to start a fight."

I walked to the door and slid it open, to see a wall of sand in my face.

"You're still not going anywhere."

I turned around and approached him. I was very pissed off now. I walked to the back of his chair and rested my hand on his shoulder. He didn't do anything. What happened to the intense hatred? What happened to his vow to torture me? What happened to his love?

I bolted awake, having just realized that it was a dream. I looked out the open window to see a huge moon over an expanse of sand. I looked around me. He was sitting in a corner, glaring at me. "You're awake," he said, his voice still cold.

"You were watching me?" I asked.

"You looked peaceful," he said with resentment in his voice. "Sleeping seems to suite you."

I rolled my eyes in the dark. After having lifted the blankets from around me, I walked out of the bedroom. "Why the hell do you have a bedroom anyway?"

"In case I need it. Beds are good for more than just sleeping, you know."

It figures. He hadn't changed at all. He still hated me, and he still was intent on torturing me with confusing bouts of violence and affection. I doubt he would ever get a girl to go to bed with him. I don't think a guy would go either. "You didn't get one just for me, did you?" I asked, smirking.

"If I wanted to, I could take you where ever I like."

"You want to," I hissed. "You just don't want me to know."

His sand wrapped around me. "You're not even curious as to how you got here?"

"Fine, tell me."

"You were sleeping. It was a bit tricky getting Orochimaru to let you go."

"What do you mean?" Did he talk to Orochimaru-sama?

Gaara smirked evilly. "His arms were wrapped around you."

That filthy little liar, he was bluffing "Oh really?"

"Don't deny it. You love him. Why else would you be in the same bed, and handcuffed to him? Seems kinky, doesn't it?"

I gave him my own little smirk and leaned against a wall. "Want to try it?"

He ran his hand up my thigh, bunching up my skirt. "All in due time," he whispered, "but not right now. My body is not a weapon you can use against me. I'll take you in my time." He leaned down to kiss me, running his nails down my thigh sharply.

I put my hands up his shirt and rested on his back. His skin was soft beneath mine, and his muscles were defined. He bit my lower lip. I scratched down the length of his spine to the curve of his back.

His hands felt up my legs, to my abdomen, up the side of my torso, to my breasts, then to my shoulders and down my back. His tongue brushed against my lips, bringing heat to my body. I instantly responded by meeting his tongue with my own and pressing against him.

"Someone should have drugged you sooner," he breathed into my ear. "It's too bad that my love isn't the love you wanted."

I dug my nails into his back. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You talk in your sleep," he smiled. "Don't worry too much, I wouldn't tell Orochimaru the things you dream about. It's okay, you blamed the venom."

I shoved him into the opposite wall. "How dare you lie to me," I growled.

"I love it when you're rough with me," he growled, "but I'm not lying."

I let go and stormed into the other room.

His sand caught my wrist, and I felt his arm slide around my waist. "I also love when you run away."

I stood and folded my arms. His other arm came across my chest and rested on the opposing shoulder, pulling my body to his. He buried his face in my neck and scattered kisses down my throat. I put my hands to his and pulled them off me, then walked to the couch.

He stopped me before I sat down. I pulled his arm around me and thrust him to the sofa in front of me. He laced his fingers with mine and pulled me on top of him. He parted my lips and brushed his tongue once more against my own, wrapping his arms around me.

I felt him beneath me. Each pulsation drove me mad, only because it was subtle. The pressure of him against me, however, wasn't. Lust is a funny thing to me, simply because I hate the man who is laying beneath me, yet he controlled my body's reaction. I couldn't stop him from kissing me, or touching my skin. I couldn't help the shuddering of chills that he sent through me. I didn't want them to stop.

He arched his back, sending his hips into mine. I let out an audible gasp. I fell forward, catching myself before I collapsed onto him. My hair cascaded around us. He looked into my violet eyes before brushing a strand behind my ear. He wrapped his arms around me and threw me over onto the suede of the couch. He looked down upon me, as he crouched over my body.

His hand wandered down the length of my thigh and unsnapped my kunai pouch. He extracted one knife and threw the pouch to the side. He traced the blade lightly over every inch of exposed skin he could reach from my neck to my calves. He paused to run the edge over my exposed midriff, raising goose bumps all over my body. He never cut into my skin enough to make me bleed, but he broke skin.

He lowered down to where he was mere centimetres from my pelvis. His lips crashed to mine, his tongue sending molten fire through my nerves. I felt him shiver under my touch as I ran my fingers under his shirt.

He got off of me. "That will do," he smirked. He left a soft kiss on my lips and walked away from me. I watched him turn his back on me once again, leaving me wanting more. His torture was something else. I would have never expected him to be like this. I smirked as he turned a corner. The torture had to be effecting him just as much as it affected me.


	14. Stage Fourteen

Stage Fourteen: Desert Nights

I found him sitting on the roof, looking out into the night sky. There was a full moon, adding to the stars as they gave their light. His gourd wasn't to be found, his chest free of the burden he has to bear. I walked up behind him silently. Crouching down behind him, I tired to see what he was looking at.

He sighed quietly. I don't understand why I felt for him now. He has done nothing but try to torture and kill me. He was annoying and a pain in my ass since the day we met, yet something sparked fire in me just from his touch.

I bit his neck softly. He turned around and pinned me to the roof. I could see his glare in the dim light. I wrapped my arms around his neck and licked his lower lip softly. His glare softened and he licked my tongue before closing his lips over mine. His tongue brushed against mine gently.

"Why do you continue to use me?" he asked.

I sat up and kissed him. His lips met mine willingly.

He backed away from me. "Answer me, damn it."

"Shut up." I pulled his hand around me and moved closer, biting into his neck. He clutched me as a soft moan of unexpected pleasure escaped his mouth. I felt his hand move up the back of my shirt.

I moved on top of him, sitting on his lap. Our tongues met, sending molten shivers through me. His arms surrounded me. I pushed him away from me. He looked at me with confusion. I softly kissed him, biting his lower lip. I then pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside.

I ran my hands down his chest and watched his muscles tense and flex under my fingers. Each muscle was rock hard to my touch. I reached his pants hem and kissed his collar bone. I felt the button of his pants with my thumb.

He tipped my chin into a kiss. I pushed the button through the hole and unzipped his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?" he whispered.

I slipped my tongue into his mouth and licked his. He gently bit me. I gripped his pants hard and pulled. He closed his eyes and flipped me back to the roof.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked. "I thought I told you my body is not a weapon you can use against me."

I pulled his waist to mine.

"Ah, god, Tsuki, stop this," he groaned. He forced my hands off of him and pinned them above my head, but didn't move his body away from mine. He leaned down and kissed me roughly. He caressed down my arm to my chest and down my side to my skirt.

I arched against his touch, forcing my pelvis against his. "Damn it, Tsuki," he sighed. He wrapped an arm under my back and held me to him. His erection was in full attention. "You're making this war."

I pulled myself to him, whispering in his ear, "I don't surrender." I bit his neck and felt his gruff moan vibrate his chest.

"Then you'll suffer defeat."

He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it somewhere. I pressed my torso to his, feeling his warm skin on mine. He bit into my neck and sucked on the soft skin, leaving a mark that almost resembled a bruise. My hands wandered down his muscles and back to his pant hem, still undone and sagging down a little. I massaged the exposed skin just over his boxers with my thumbs, moving in small circles to stimulate the already prominent blood flow.

He reached underneath me and unsnapped my bra before discarding it by my forgotten tank top. He leaned down, scattered kisses along the length of my breastbone and licked my tightening nipple gently. His thumb found my other and began to manipulate it, forcing it to become a small bud of pleasure. His mouth closed over the other and he sucked on the tender flesh, nipping and biting softly. Each subtle jerk of his head caused my body to arch.

He ceased his teasing to kiss me. He took my hand and guided it father to reach his quivering bulge. I reached around his waist and pulled down his pants and his boxers, and after a frenzied moment of shuffling, he was nude before me. He resumed licking my lips and tongue as my hand found his erection, rubbing the length of his shaft repeatedly.

His hands wandered to my skirt and guided the fabric over my hips; I lifted my hips an inch or two above the ground as he pulled it off of me, as well as the thin undergarments. His fingers traced my entrance slowly, methodically, and torturously. He dipped in and out of my tight heat several times as he massaged my clit, each time forcing me to squeeze his member a little harder. He would groan in reaction to this, getting lost in the pleasure.

He pulled my hand off of his throbbing cock and lifted my legs over his shoulders. His smile was sinful as he bent down low to taste the accumulated wetness within me. He put one had beside me, and the other was clasped around his own labido, giving him the added desire that he had longed for. He licked and sucked shamelessly, causing soft gasps and moans to escape my lips, and I'd crescendo as he continued.

He quickly placed a hand over my mouth once I had gotten too loud and stopped pleasuring both him and myself. He left a kiss on my lips before picking me up and carrying me back down to his bedroom.

As soon as I hit the fabric of his blankets, he tore my legs back open and once more acquainted himself with my lust. He pressed his fingers in and out of me, curling against my walls as he sucked on my small pearl of pleasure. It wasn't long before I was panting and writhing against the bed, arching my back and curling my toes in response to his every touch.

He stood upright and pulled me to my feet. He pulled me to his body and kissed me, I could taste the sweetly sour juices still on his lips, making me long for him even more. He whispered in my ear, "You know what I want," and guided my hand back to his neglected member.

I kissed down his neck to his chest and down the centre line of his abdomen before covering the pink tip of his cock with my mouth. His fingers laced through my blazing red hair as he guided my head lower and lower until he had felt the back of my throat. I already tasted the precum that he had forced from himself, but I wanted more.

I took his dick from my mouth and licked the entire shaft, wrapping my tongue around what I could. I traced circles around his head, watching his eyes close before encasing as much of him as I could in my mouth. I twisted my hands around him as I bobbed up and down on him, sucking as hard as I could on his delicate erection. I slowed to deep throat him, then sped up and sucked him hard over and over again. He moaned and sighed, making me hornier than I already was. I love a man who moans.

It didn't take long for the hot and creamy liquid to hit the back of my throat. By the time he pulled me to my feet, his body was glistening with sweat. His lips crashed to mine as his erection pressed against my hip. His tongue shot into my mouth as he devoured me. His hands cupped my breast as he backed me to a wall.

He pressed his hips to mine, flattening my body against his. His length was fully against my- "Nahh," I sighed. One thrust of his hips and he penetrated me. "God, Gaara," I moaned.

He pressed his lips to mine in haste before he whispered, "Time for round two." He began thrusting his hips against mine, driving me into the wall. He urged soft moans from my lips, adding his panting and groaning every so often. Each thrust hit me like a wave of sparks, each more pleasurable than the last.

He picked me up and threw me onto the bed. The blankets were soft beneath me, but I barely had time to dwell on bed dressings. Gaara hovered over me, looking me over with the hunger of a predator. He bit into my neck, causing me to gasp in response to the pain. "Ah, Gaara!"

He thrust into me hard, coaxing a loud moan from me. He was relentless, forcing screams from me and allowing his own moans to drive me insane. I could feel my warmth spread through my body as I came once, he didn't let up.

He flipped me on top of him, gripping my hips and forcing me down upon him. I angled my hips to meet his, grinding against him and sending his arousal further deeper inside me.

"Nahh, do that again," he commanded.

I repeatedly coaxed those sweet groans from his lips. He dug his nails into my flesh as he felt euphoria. Each thrust was as greedy as the last, taking everything he could. "God, Tsuki, don't stop."

I had no intention to. "Myuh," I sighed as he hit me particularly roughly. He hit that same spot over and over again, each time forcing breathless moans from my lips as I tried to keep myself from going over the edge. I couldn't stop it; I came a second time.

He flipped me over to my side and slammed into me from behind. His hands found my breasts again and grasped them tightly. He squeezed periodically, causing sharp hisses of pleasured pain from me. The sound of his skin hitting mine filled our ears behind each other's moaning, groaning, and screaming.

He bit into my neck, drawing blood to keep himself from cumming a little longer. I screamed in mixed bliss and pain.

He rolled once more, brining me on all fours. "Grip the headboard," he growled, "and lock your elbows." There was hunger in his voice.

I did as he asked of me, and felt him driving into me, thrusting the entire bed into the wall behind it. I felt his hands at my shoulders, running down to my hips as he brought me down into his thrusts.

I was tightening against him, my walls shivering with climax when he lost it.

"Gah, Tsuki," he panted. "God, don't stop, nahh!"

He pulled out, flipped me over and kissed me, trusting into me as I lay on my back. I felt his hot liquid stream into me as it mixed with my own orgasm.

He collapsed beside me and pulled me to his body. He was sticky with sweat, but I didn't mind. His pheromones gave a mild spicy smell to the array of aromas that filled the room. "I love you, Tsuki," he whispered, "and I don't give a damn what you think of it." His eyes shone in the moonlight as he talked to me. He ran his hand down my thigh and back up again.

"I'm aware," I answered. "Sometimes I wonder if I love you, or if I just love fucking with your brain."

"You fuck with my body, not my brain," he whispered. "I'm the one who fucks with your mind."

"You can't do that anymore," I whispered.

"Why can't I?" he grinned.

"I know that you're Kazekage now." He had left some paperwork on the desk in the main room that I knew I shouldn't have seen.

He kissed me. "That doesn't mean that I'm going to forget you. On the contraire, actually, I could have you followed at all times. If anything, I could make it so much easier on myself." He petted my hair softly. "I could keep you here."

"You would waste valuable resources just to keep me confined like an animal?" I asked.

"If I wanted to, I could."

"You'd go crazy with me here."

"What makes you say that?"

"There's nothing in it for you," I answered.

He roughly pulled me on top of him. "Making you scream is all the reward I need," he whispered. He ran his fingers down my breastbone.

I leaned forward and kissed him slowly, then admired the moonlight off his glistening body, sculpted from time and training.

He pulled me back beside him. He kissed my nose, and then whispered, "I suspect that you'll be sleeping tonight."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"If I can sleep after sex, then you can." He yawned before lifting the blanket to cover us both.

"If I'm attacked by that sand demon of yours, you're dead," I whispered.

"Likewise," he breathed.

I woke up that morning feeling sore. I knew that I had bruising on my back and my ass was covered, but there were also the bites on my neck and the scratches at my hips that were accounted for. There was light breathing on the back of my neck, and I knew he was still asleep.

I rolled over and watched him sleep peacefully, running my hand over his soft back. Not many people could say that they have seen this side of him, and no one else could have seen him sleeping without Shukaku making a mess of things. He was a beautiful sight to behold, naked before me.

His eyes fluttered open. "I can see why you allowed yourself to be drugged by Orochimaru. Sleep is a good thing." He arched his back and stretched a bit, then sat up. He allowed the thin and soft blanket pool around his hips, exposing all skin above his pelvis. "How was your night?" he asked.

"It was the same as yours," I answered. "Blissful, one might describe it as." I wrapped my arms around him, allowing him to hold me as dawn rose through the window.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"It was better than being drugged," I answered. "Sleeping isn't that great for me."

He rested his chin on the top of my head and sighed. Something was weighing on his mind, and I could tell it was heavy.

"Tsuki, I can't keep you here."

"I know you can't," I answered. "You're Kazekage now. I'm a distraction that you don't need."

"Even if you leave, you're a distraction."

"There's nothing I can do about that."

"No, there isn't."

Gaara had grown up quite a bit since I last saw him. He was more open than he was, and kinder than he had ever been. He had something worth living for, and it didn't include killing everyone he met. "What's your point, Gaara?"

"You're free to go, Tsuki. I don't have the energy to fight with you to keep you here, and you're right, I can't waste resources just to hold you against your will."

"So, just like that, you get me in bed and let me go?" I asked. I wasn't offended, just shocked that he was giving up so easily. "That's not like you at all."

"I'm aware of that," he sighed. "If you want to stay, you're welcome to. I don't want you to leave. I just don't have the time to keep you here forcefully."

"I respect that, but you fucked up an experiment that was really important to Orochimaru and he'll be furious when I get back."

"So you're staying?" Gaara asked.

"No, the sooner I leave, the better. It's best to get his maelstrom of rage out of the way now, than let it simmer for who knows how long."

"Then go, Tsuki. If he gets too angry, he'll kill you."

"His has too many plans that depend on me being alive long enough to have child," I answered with dread.

"What would he do if it was my child?" Gaara asked. He rested a hand on my abdomen, but had a look of concern.

"He'd kill it, or take it as his own and manipulate what ever ability it would have for his own will."

"Then pray I haven't fucked up another aspect of your life," he sighed. "I'm not going to regret it, even if I did."

"You're something else, Gaara." I rested my head on his shoulder and relaxed against him. There was no point in worrying over something that hasn't happened yet.


	15. Stage Fifteen

**Stage Fifteen: Retreat**

**I decided it was best if I left during the day, rather than the middle of the night. He was the Kazekage now, and left early that morning. I waited a few hours before following him out the door. The sunlight crested over the distant sand dunes; the heat was quickly rising, and the mirages were seen rippling like little waves over the barren landscape. **

**I lunged to the next roof and tore through the village. It wasn't long before she found herself on top of the Kazekage's office. She could hear him below her, talking in his slow and steady rasp to someone as they talked; they sounded like advisors. I scaled down the side of the bulbous building, and walked calmly through the streets of Sunagakure. **

**I could spot Kankuro standing, well, leaning against a wall, talking to someone who was intently listening. The wind picked up her long, brown hair, and she looked into the breeze. Her eyes locked into mine; they were a sorrowful green. It was an unusual green, intensified with a surge of emotion. I couldn't tell if it was hatred or disgust. Kankuro soon turned around to see what this girl was glaring at, and then his eyes also found mine. He turned slightly red, then turned to talk to his new interest. I could make out a few mumbled words from the girl.**

"**No, I don't know her."**

"**She's really not that bad," Kankuro said, glancing in my direction. I hadn't moved; I hadn't looked away. **

"**She's watching you."**

"**She hates me," he admitted.**

"**I don't like her," the girl decided.**

"**You don't even know her," he vouched for me.**

"**Why do you stand up for her, if she hates you?"**

**He sighed. "It's because she hates me that I stand up for her. I don't know if you'd understand, but she and I were comrades in a way, and it didn't work between our team and hers. The whole mission was jeopardized because we couldn't get along. I learned then that I couldn't continue to let her hatred grow. I also knew she was right about me. I didn't want to admit it, but she was."**

"**She's not of a village. She doesn't wear a protector plate anywhere."**

**Kankuro then looked me over and added, "She belongs to a village, although I don't know for certain which one."**

"**Then what is she doing here?" **

"**I didn't know she was here, until now."**

**She pulled out a kunai. "Isn't that a bit suspicious?"**

**Kankuro's eyes widened. "That isn't a good idea. She is a dangerous opponent. Lord Kazekage had a hard time fighting her, and she was just messing around."**

"**L-lord Kazekage?" she stuttered.**

"**Yeah, I've never seen him so pissed before. He just couldn't kill her."**

"**Then she has to be stopped." She braced herself in a stance that was almost comical. How the hell did she manage to become a genin, even? **

**I rolled my eyes and walked toward them. That amateur couldn't do anything to me, even if she tried. What made her think that she could take down someone the Kazekage couldn't? Her breath caught when I walked by, and I stopped to listen for an exhale. When she didn't, I looked at them and simply chastised, "Gossip isn't something a Shinobi should endulge in." I glanced at her protector plate. She was from Kirigakure. She wore the same plate that Kisame had scratched through. What business could she have here? "I don't know what they taught you in the Village Hidden in the Mist, but for the Bloody Mist Village, I'm sure they wouldn't condone this behaviour either. Or, rather, have you forgotten that you're representing your entire village while you're here, flirting with a grown boy who plays with dolls?" I suddenly remember the way Sasori mocked Kankuro's skill with the puppets. I laughed as I started to walk away.**

**I heard that heavy exhale that makes me feel like the monster I really am. I smiled, knowing that I had worked my way into her mind. **

**I looked at the familiar village layout under the light of the moon. It was about time for me to head inside, now that the gates were closed. Do they really think a twenty foot wall can stop me? I don't think so! I had infiltrated Konohagakure once before, it wouldn't be as easy to blend in this time. For one, I was sure that Neji had followed through with my orders, at that time. I had given him more than enough time. Nevertheless I was cautious, even though I had to take a risk.**

**I pulled those simple hand signs, "Transformation Jutsu." Only Neji would recognize me, if he looked at me through his Byakugan eyes. It was the same disguise he had looked right through the day I met Itachi, again…**

**I ran to the top of the tree I was waiting in and lunged toward the top of the wall. I was sure they anticipated a Shinobi doing this. I didn't touch the wall at all as I landed on a rooftop, ten feet below. **

**The village was just as I remembered it. There was a constant scent of dew or rain as night fell, and the stars were faintly visible, becoming brighter as the city began to sleep. I remembered the different places as I walked down the streets, and remembered the people as well. There was the flower shop where Ino sometimes spent her days, working for her mother. It is rumoured that she is a natural Konoichi, when it comes to the arts. It makes sense, as flower arranging is their family's profession. Art, well, art is something that most people don't agree on, but is considered beautiful, no matter what the definition is. Flower arranging is one of those forms that I find frivolous. Sure, they're pretty, and they make the room smell somewhat better, but the fauna die a slow and painful death, and the beauty doesn't last. There was the ramen shack, where Kankuro had bought my last bowl. I chuckled at his desperate attempts to soothe his new girlfriend. She was so ambitious. It could get her killed.**

**Of all the places I could go, I didn't know where the Hyuuga compound was. I wandered around for hours, only to discover that it was right next to the Uchiha compound, and I never realized. All those times I went to see Sasuke, and I never ventured next door, never even stopped to notice? **

**The moon was high when I found myself in the back quarters of the Hyuuga compound. They were like mazes, clan housing. Each one was set up a differently, with no logical way to manoeuvre through them without finding yourself hopelessly lost. **

"**You're looking for me," I heard him whisper. "I had been wondering when you'd return. I knew that wouldn't have been the last I would hear from you. **

**I turned around to see him leaning on the wooden railing that surrounded the deck of what I assumed to be his house. "Yeah, I guess I am."**

**He sighed, and dropped his gaze to his hands, where a stretch of violet fabric was weaving through his fingers, ever so slowly. The flash of the metal, and the reflected eighth note shone brightly, drawing my attention to my discarded affiliation with Orochimaru.**

"**You didn't burn it," I observed. **

"**Believe me, I tried. I couldn't do it. I don't know why. I didn't want to believe you. I couldn't imagine that our village would be so weak. I knew that I shouldn't have let you go. Everyone was furious when it happened. We have a new Hokage now."**

"**How did she handle the news that you knew?"**

"**I never told her."**

"**That was probably wise."**

**His white eyes shone grey in the light. "I feel like a traitor. Why me? Why didn't you tell Sasuke, or someone else?**

"**No one else could see through me. Sasuke wouldn't have cared. Look where he is now!"**

**In an instant he was before me, his hand over my mouth. "You'll wake everyone if you keep that up." His eyes darted to the open door that once stood behind him. "Inside," he ordered.**

**I followed him into the bedroom. It really had no distinguishing qualities. No pictures, no paintings, nothing that would tell you anything about the boy who slept there. I didn't expect that. Surely there would be something that he would use to express his personality.**

**He stood awkwardly by the door. I stood and faced him, casting shadows from the window behind me. "I guess I should take the band back, then, shouldn't I?"**

"**Why are you changing your mind?" he asked. Nonetheless, he handed the band over to me, not really fighting for a reason.**

"**I'm going back."**

**His eyes widened. "You're going back to that monster? He killed our Hokage, and the Lord Kazekage. You must be insane."**

"**I've realized a few things while I was in Suna."**

"**They weren't the answers you were looking for I take."**

"**No, I didn't have the time to answer any of my questions. The Akatsuki found me before I could find them."**

"**Why were they looking for you? They found you when you were here, and then let you go. Surely the Uchiha wouldn't be fooled by a simple transformation Jutsu."**

"**He wasn't, as he saw through it too. No, it was someone else who was sent to find me. Their target was Naruto."**

"**Why did you come back?"**

**I looked at my band. "I knew you wouldn't. When I would think about it after I left, I knew that in the end, you wouldn't destroy it. I don't know why I knew. I just did. If I have to face Orochimaru, I'll do it with him thinking that I'm still on his side. I don't want to bring extra suffering, not if I can avoid it."**

"**What of Sasuke?" Neji finally asked. I knew the question was weighing on his mind, and had been for a while now. **

"**I don't think he'll ever listen to a word I say again," I answered. **

"**Why? You two were friends, weren't you?"**

"**We were, but then he found out I was working for Orochimaru, I'm sure. He was already angry with me when I left."**

"**Yes, I do recall his fury with your leaving, and his hatred for Gaara as well. I knew it was all linked together."**

"**What I did with Gaara was simply orders. Orochimaru needed information, and that's all I can say."**

"**I'm sure," Neji sighed. **

**I looked down at the headband. "I should probably be going. Thank you, Neji."**

"**Before you go, you should know that your name was never mentioned when Orochimaru attacked. You left before it happened, so no one drew the connection between you and the third Hokage's death. You are still considered a Konoha Shinobi," he informed her. **

"**I could never be a Leaf Shinobi, not after all that I've done."**

"**There's always the chance that Orochimaru won't take you back. Although the odds against you are great, if you were ever to slip away, you could always return."**

**I looked him in the eye. They were empty and white, as always, showing no emotion. "I'm sure he'd think to look for me here. No one runs from Orochimaru and hides forever. He knows us all, and where we'd go."**

"**How will you survive?" he asked. I could hear the tone of knowing in his voice. He knew I wouldn't. He knew I didn't want to. **

"**I'm sure I'll find a way," I lied, regardless of protocol. He looked at me as though he didn't believe a word I said, and I didn't blame him. **

"**Don't get hurt," he warned. "I don't know how strong you truly are, but if anyone has a chance against Orochimaru, I know it's you. Your chakra isn't the only thing about you that is strange to me. You're driven by something. That drive is unseen anywhere else except for a few people. Use it, and use it well."**


	16. Stage Sixteen

Stage Sixteen: Return

I found him exactly where I left him. He was sitting at his desk, back to the window, as it always was. His cascade of raven hair fell loose about his shoulder blades, flowing forward as he leaned over some scroll or book.

I wondered aimlessly if he had even missed me. His gaze was set into my eyes, his golden irises showing no emotion at all. I could see his chest rise and fall rhythmatically. There was no one to greet me, telling me that life had been hell, as it usually was without me there. He was so moody.

He sighed. I silently braced myself for his wrath, expecting hell to break loose. He looked at me with a flicker of change in his eye; I realized that I was seeing for the first time some emotion other than anger. It confused me, because I couldn't tell which human emotion it was. Orochimaru was incapable of so many.

"Tatsuki-chan," he whispered.

He hadn't called me Tatsuki-chan since I was a child. My eyes flickered back and forth, searching my mind for an answer. Something wasn't right. Where was his rage? Why was he showing his gentle side? I haven't 'needed' him to be gentle at all, not since my thirteenth birthday when I began to toughen out the innocent kinks of childhood.

"Tsuki, look me in the eye," he growled. There was possessive control, a will to be obeyed in his voice. This took my ease to a lighter level.

"Yes, Orochimaru-Sensei." My gaze lifted to search his eyes, honey golden and seemingly on fire with some unknown expression. I was beginning to feel the only emotion he had squandered out of me successfully: fear.

"I regret the news I must bear you, as it is just as catastrophic for me as well."

"News?" I asked. The expression in his eyes wasn't regret at all. Orochimaru never felt guilt, not for anything.

"The Sound Five have been killed," he blatantly stated.

He was watching me. Two of my friends were now gone. The only two friends I had were killed on a mission. They were only ever called the Five when they were on a mission. Anger flickered inside me, then sorrow for their lives. I went through an entire spectrum of heated emotions, not allowing any of them to stay for long.

"Why did you send Kimimaro on a mission, when his condition required him to stay? If he was well, he would have lived," I growled.

"It was his wish, Child. He wanted to fight."

My anger for his death was ebbed a tad; it was a relief to him, I assumed. Better to be killed than to waste away slowly, I would figure. I was glad his suffering was put to an end. "What of Tayuya?" I asked. She was the only woman I had ever connected with, besides Kin. I felt more for her as far as a friendship went, simply because she knew Orochimaru more. Kin, she thought he was human, that he had compassion. When she talked to him, she made several mistakes in attempting to play his emotions. She didn't realize that he couldn't be played in such a way. There were so many things he couldn't feel. Love was one of those that she thought he needed, but he simply didn't want.

He allowed my thoughts to wander, something he wouldn't normally permit. He watched the emotions flicker over me, choosing not to elaborate on her passing. He grabbed my attention back from the depths of my clouded mind by clearing his throat with a short staccato of a sound, harsh against the silence that had passed. "I understand that you are feeling a variety of emotions that are, of course, natural to witness upon the passing of a friend. However, it is best not to dwell on these things. There are several points that we need to address."

"Yes, Orochimaru sensei."

"One of which was your most recent disappearance. The five wouldn't have died if they had you among your ranks. Where were you?" His tone was still calm, but I knew it all too well. Despite his state of being on the edge of rage, my body eased. All was well with Orochimaru.

"Gaara had acted on a promise he made to me, Sensei."

Orochimaru rose and came around to the front of his desk. There was nothing but open space between us now. He could close on me with two strides. "What promise would this be, my Child?" His voice uttered these soft spoken words, but I had come to know this deceivingly sweet disposition as danger.

"He promised to make me pay for what I did to him at the Chuunin exams, and along with that, I would never leave his side. He stated boldly that he would destroy everyone around me, until he stood alone, with no one in his way, competing for my time."

"He is doing this to be able to love you?" Orochimaru asked, that flicker of hatred surfaced for a mere moment, then was forced back below his façade.

"He is doing this to destroy me," I answered. "He admitted that I had won over his heart on multiple occasions, but he simply wished to destroy everyone who wanted me destroyed so he had no competition."

"You are here, so he clearly didn't destroy you." Orochimaru arched one of his thin eyebrows in a quizzical expression.

"He released me upon our arrival to Sunagakure. He said it was a gift from him, now that he had been promoted to Kazekage. He explained that he cannot waste his time on a grudge of fleeting importance, but has to instead focus on his village and his country."

"What was this gift?" Orochimaru asked.

I knew it was a lie, a stupid thing to tell Orochimaru, but I couldn't tell him what had really happened. "He said that his gift was to steal me away from you, and this in itself was a punishment. He was certain that upon my arrival to Otogakure, you would have me killed for insubordination."

"This gift sounds more like a punishment," Orochimaru stated. "His delusion was not correct; I do not intend to kill you merely for disappearing for less than a week. How could he have come to the conclusion that you would not return?"

I decided to thread some truth into this tapestry of a lie. "He was under the impression that I was in love with you."

Orochimaru's eyes widened. This was not what he expected. "How could that have happened?" he angrily growled. He indeed crossed the distance between us, and I foolishly allowed him to back me against one of the book cases that lined the walls of his office. "How could you let him assume any weakness within you?" He leaned against the wall of books, hands to either side of my face, allowing no escape.

"I told him from the start that he was wrong my Lord. I feel nothing toward you. He simply thought that because I didn't want him, I must have wanted someone better."

Flattery was something that didn't normally work on Orochimaru. He knew when he was being sucked up to and normally why. I set my gaze into stone and allowed my eyes to meet his. His brows were furrowed, nearly together as he snarled down at me. I refused to think of the tendrils of hair caressing my shoulders, or allow the snippets of dreams that rose to the surface as I recalled why he gripped my wrist so hard, just for mindlessly running my fingers through his silken soft hair. "How do you plan to correct this mistake?" he asked. "I noticed your protector plate was missing upon your last return, so I simply cannot send you to Suna as my Konoichi."

My hand slipped to my kunai pouch. Seeing a possible attempt to defend myself, he grabbed my wrists and forced them above my head. "I wasn't going to attack you," I growled.

"I don't know what you will and will not do, Child," he sneered.

"I didn't misplace my headband," I informed him. "I simply took it off. It was best for people to believe that I wasn't associated with you when I left. It is because of this that I can still walk through Konohagakure without being associated with the third Hokage's death. It's in my kunai pouch." I thought it was best to leave Neji out of this. I wouldn't repay his silence with his death.

His left hand encircled my wrists tightly as his right slid down my leg to the leather pouch. I felt it unsnap as he unfurled the violet cloth he found within. I couldn't control the flares of skittering sparks his touch invoked.

"It doesn't excuse your leaving," he softly growled. His grip released on me, and blood flooded my hands. I rubbed the now inflamed skin where he had cut off circulation. "Furthermore, I want to know why you left."

"I left to give Gaara the impression he was right. He wasn't going to tell me anything at the Chuunin exams. His wrath created a flaw within him. He was determined then to destroy me. I plotted ahead with a final attack on his mind and emotions, then disappeared without a trace."

"Where did you go?"

"I originally left to Sunagakure, where I could find out more information upon his return. If there was a plot against you, odds are someone there knew it. Wouldn't it make sense to you that someone there would be lose with their information? Why guard something if you knew all of your opponent's eyes and ears were focused hundreds of miles away?" I knew this was another lie, but one that I could easily enforce with all the truth that backed it up.

"The world 'originally' implies that another destination had been reached," he commented. "I'll repeat the question, where did you go?"

"There was an Akatsuki ambush waiting for me when I went back to the Dentsu compound."

"That is why the Akatsuki was active in the Land of Rivers," he commented. "You escaped from their grasp and found your way back here."

"Yes and no," I answered. Here comes more of the truth. "I told you that Gaara had promised to keep me close at hand. Being a Jinchuriki, I find this all extremely rash on his part, but he had taken it upon himself to rescue me from their grasp. He personally escorted me back to Sunagakure to extract his revenge. I got tired of him, defeated him once more, then forced my way forward back home. There was no word of any plot against you, thus my work was done."

Orochimaru sat back down at his desk, laying the band before him on the desk. "I too have come to this conclusion. Now that I understand your reasons for leaving, I wish to know what your reasons were for not telling me first." He gestured for me to sit before him.

I assumed my chair to his right, my left. This was always where I was to be seated. Few others were allowed this privilege. I could still see the dent in the wood from all the times I had slammed my head into the grain. "I was sure that someone would go to you when I was gone. If you were surprised at my departure, then Gaara would assume that he was right. There would be no other explanation for my abrupt disappearance. Besides, I heard you obtained Sasuke through my exodus. It benefited you in more ways than one."

"I cannot deny that Sasuke was persuaded in part because of you. I am pleased to know you were acting out of my orders, and not because of this child's foolish idea that you were smitten with me."

If I could have let out a sigh, I would of. Orochimaru believed me. Here stands the man I once believed could hear you thinking a lie before you spoke it, but perhaps he is more inclined to hear what he wishes.

"If you heard that Sasuke had accompanied the Four here, then you must have gone back to Konohagakure."

"I did, Sensei. I had left some things at the apartment that I had wished to retrieve. Nothing that would have compromised you, but personal things."

"I assume that went well?" he inquired.

"Yes, it did."

"Upon Kimimaro's death, there remains the factor of the male genetics that will go into creating my next generation of Shinobi."

I hadn't thought of this since I explained it to Gaara. "With your obsession over the Sharingan, why not use Sasuke?" I asked. "An Uchiha's genetics would surely do well to replace Kimimaro."

Orochimaru thought for a brief moment as he considered the benefits of my chakra added to an Uchiha's, as well as the Sharingan. "This could not be done," he concluded. "Sasuke has taken to you, Child."

I recalled Sasuke's jealousy towards Gaara, and how he had avoided me after confessing his grievances. "I understand."

Orochimaru considered his own thoughts, ones I couldn't see. He shuffled through the bottom drawer, pulling two files. I could see, though being far away, that one was mine, and one was Sasuke Uchiha's. "Your blood type, it is O, is it not?" he asked, shuffling through Sasuke's file.

"Yes," I answered.

"Kabuto!" Orochimaru summoned his page, and there was an instant sneer on my features.

Kabuto entered, and upon seeing me, continued taunting me.

"Let me guess, Lord Orochimaru," he paused to push his glasses up his nose. How I longed to break them and shove the pieces through his eyes. "You need her escorted down to the arena to be tortured for her defiance?"

Orochimaru quickly shot a glare at Kabuto that could have stabbed like a kunai. "It is my understanding that O type blood can be given to any blood type."

"Yes my Lord," Kabuto agreed. "You should also be able to give any blood type to an O type patient, logically speaking."

This was obviously what Orochimaru wanted to hear. He dismissed Kabuto without making further inquiries, possibly to prevent me from setting Kabuto on fire again. Before Kabuto reached the door, Orochimaru stopped him by adding, "Bring Sasuke Uchiha to me."

"Yes, my Lord. I'll summon him straight away."


	17. Stage Seventeen

Stage Seventeen: Danger

Sasuke walked in clad in what I was used to Orochimaru wearing when ever he was away from home, as well as the sound Five. Seeing him reminded me greatly of Kimimaro; when I had first arrived in Otogakure. He would have been the same age as Sasuke then.

Sasuke glanced at me, and the glare I received startled me at first. I then remembered his avoidance of me and looked away.

"You summoned me, Orochimaru-sama?"

"I had," Orochimaru replied.

Sasuke's gaze had not softened when he looked at Orochimaru. He took his chair beside me without acknowledging my presence further.

Sasuke, I remembered the times he would smile at me, confide in me. All the memories we shared, were under false pretences and lies, doomed to fail because of what we knew we had to do. Avenging was his destiny; mine was to be a tool used by Orochimaru. I knew he was hurt because of this, because of what he told me so long ago. It had been a handful of months, but even so, he looked years older sitting next to me.

"I will need a sample of blood from both of you."

"May I ask what for?" Sasuke inquired.

"An ongoing plan regarding Tsuki," Orochimaru answered.

Sasuke looked at me with curiosity. "Why do you need my blood?" he asked. "There was no mention of me being a part of a plan involving her." There was venom in his voice. I couldn't wait for Orochimaru to dismiss us.

"You weren't originally a part of this plan," Orochimaru explained. "Her counterpart was killed in action retrieving you."

"So, because it's my fault he died, I'm replacing him?"

"No, she and I have already ruled you out as a possible candidate. However, we think that your blood will be beneficial."

"What would my blood benefit?" he asked. He was getting angry, which was a quick mistake in the presence of Orochimaru.

"Sasuke," I whispered softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't be angry," I cooed. I could feel Orochimaru's gaze on me, questioning why I was addressing him this way, warning him when anyone else I would allow to be put in their respective place.

"You lied to me," he growled. "You expect me to not be angry, when, after all you said and did, you only deceive me?"

"I didn't lie to you about anything," I whispered. "I understand that you're angry with me. Don't extend that to Orochimaru-sensei."

"Sensei?" he asked, quizzically. "He's your sensei? That makes more sense to me; why you showed up when you did, why you befriended me, why you left."

Orochimaru had enough. "She did not extend a hand of friendship on my behalf," he growled. "I will not have you berate her under false pretences. She is your superior, be sure you do not forget that."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama; it will not happen again." He looked to me. "You never had any intention to hand me over to Orochimaru, did you?"

"No, I hadn't. Orochimaru didn't even tell me he had plans for you. When he found out that you and I had become close, all he told me was that it fit well into his desires, and that I had done more than he expected."

"You have trailed from the topic at hand. The purpose I will need your blood for, Sasuke, is to be sure that it is compatible with Tsuki's. She is to be the mother of the next generation of Shinobi. Her genetic perfection will lend to theirs, and in turn, their children. I am going to play with the two of your genetics until I can find a means to instil your Kekkei Genkai in her during her conception."

Sasuke looked at me with questions in his eyes. "Wait, one of the Five was to be the father, wasn't he?"

Orochimaru nodded.

"He is dead now?"

I nodded.

He looked back at Orochimaru. "Why couldn't you just use me as the second half? If you're set on having the Sharingan in your gene pool, why bother with tampering with our blood?"

"This is what we had discussed. Tsuki had the same idea. However, you were not brought up with the same ideals she was, so I do not expect you to know this already. I firmly believe that love is weakness, child." There was no endearment in his voice, only berating arrogance directed toward Sasuke. "I will not put you in the position to allow this love you have developed for her to grow farther." Orochimaru then dismissed us, telling us that we had to be in the medical wing tomorrow at nine for the drawing of blood.

"Why does Orochimaru see love that way?" Sasuke asked when we left.

"He doesn't like to talk about it, but he did tell me once, a long time ago. His father died protecting his mother, who was killed without him knowing. Orochimaru felt that if his father saw love in the same light he did, then perhaps he would have lived. It was then that sensei vowed to never be so foolish."

Sasuke's brow furrowed. "When did he tell you this?"

"I was eight," I answered. "He thought that if he instilled in me the lesson he learned at a young age, I would be sparred from its pain."

"Were you?" Sasuke asked.

"No, I wasn't," I answered truthfully. "I wouldn't tell sensei that, though. He's always been right, I've found."

"Surely love isn't that bad," Sasuke whispered.

"Love is a distraction, one I don't need. I know my place. There isn't room for love in my destiny."

"Is this why you told Gaara you weren't destined for love?"

I should have been surprised he was eaves dropping on our conversations, but I wasn't. "Yes, that's the truth of it."

"May I ask who you loved?"

"It wouldn't be wise for you to know," I answered. I trusted Sasuke more than anyone else, because he was there for me at one time, but I didn't know how much Orochimaru's words had eased him. At any rate, I wouldn't trust anyone under Orochimaru's command with the knowledge that I was in love with him. I didn't even trust myself.

"Do you know who he's going to get to-" Sasuke couldn't finish the sentence.

"No, I don't." There wasn't anyone in the village or the arena that he would approve of, no one that he deemed perfect. It would either be Sasuke or-

My eyes widened.

"Tsuki, are you alright?" Sasuke asked.

My stomach decided to clench itself, seeming to devour its own flesh. Orochimaru was going to use his own genetics, forcing me to endure a loveless act when I myself feel so strongly toward him. He wasn't doing this because Sasuke loved me, he was going to do this because Gaara had some reason to believe I loved Orochimaru, and I did. He was going to destroy me. There was no chance I could hide my feelings when we would be so intimately intertwined.

"Yeah," I answered. I wouldn't have Sasuke know this bothered me. "I'm just tired. I should go lie down."

"I thought you didn't sleep?" he stated.

"I don't, this is just the aftermath of another experiment that Orochimaru had done before I departed again. Don't worry about it," I added, seeing his alarm. "I'm fine; I just need to see him about sleeping again."

I turned back down the corridor and entered once more into Orochimaru's study. He looked up from the paperwork he was doing and smiled, cold and heartless as always. "What bothers you, my Child?" He spoke with endearment again when he said the word Child. He could see my anticipation.

"I was just wondering who you had in mind," I answered honestly.

He looked into my eyes, confirming what I had already thought. "Don't worry your mind about it, my Child. Things will surface eventually, and a suitor will be found. Is this all that bothers you?"

"No. My head hurts, and I'm feeling tired," I lied. "I've been like this for the last week. I think I'm suffering withdraws."

He felt my forehead with the back of his hand, studied my eyes, and tested my reflexes. After being kicked rather hard in the chest, he decided that he had no choice but to wean me off his venom gradually, and that it had indeed acted like a drug.

"It is time for sleeping, Child. Your circadian rhythm has become accustomed to our schedule," he noted. He dug in another drawer for a scroll that she knew was the notes from the three month study he had conducted on me.

"I thought the experiment was ruined because of my discontinuation of the dosing?" I asked.

"In one aspect, yes, but it also gives me insight as to what would happen in case you got addicted, which you seemingly did."

"I protested the drug the entire time!"

"Watch your tone," he reminded me. "Your mind protested, but your body took it and adjusted. Also, completing the experiment will give me time to play with your genetic coding as I try to piece together this puzzle of how your genetics will react to Sasuke. My venom alters a normal human's genetic structure, but it is completely erased from yours in a matter of hours. My theory is that you will react to Sasuke's blood in a similar manor."

"I agree," I answered. I still didn't see why he refused to use Sasuke's genetics for the entire reconstruction of the Shinobi, instead of his own with mine, infused with Sasuke's blood. I suppose the only answer was that Orochimaru never did anything the easy way, especially when there was information to be gained.

Information that may end my life before the next generation could be created.

I entered Orochimaru's bedchamber alongside him. He walked behind one of the partisans that had been placed in respect for my privacy. I stepped behind another, where my night robe still hung on the corner. It had been washed and pressed in my absence. It felt cold and smooth on my skin. Even though it was clean, the left sleeve still smelled like Orochimaru, as it was the arm that had been kept bound to his, never allowing me the freedom to kill his beloved Kabuto.

He was waiting for me when I stepped from behind the screen. I extended my left hand, expecting him to bind me to him. He took it and pulled me to him, pressing my chest against his. One arm was around my neck, the other at my waist as I could feel his breath on his skin.

I had to remember why he was doing this. He was testing me, making sure Gaara was wrong. I can't drop my guard. I couldn't let him down. I had to remember my hatred for his views, my hatred for him as well.

He pulled my hair over my shoulder softly, exposing my neck. He was being meticulously slow, allowing his lips to linger on my skin before he inserted his eye teeth into my skin. I could feel the venom drip into my veins, as well as the subtle suction he was administering to my tender flesh.

"Orochimaru," I whispered softly, "Let go of me. Please, stop." Whispering those words had been torture, but it had to be done.

His chuckle was so warm to the unknowing mind who listened, but I knew he was being cold. He pulled me to his chest, and the last thought I remembered thinking was of Gaara telling me that I talk in my sleep, expressing my love for Orochimaru. Had he heard these thoughts?

I subconsciously must have known Orochimaru was torturing me in my sleep. I couldn't stop the fluid waves of dreams that bombarded my mind. Reoccurring dreams from the experiment, where he was leading me into the dangers of seduction were predominant.

I willed my eyes to open. He still held onto me, forcing me against him. I wondered if I could break away from his bind without stirring him. In the end, I did. I sat up, feeling the venom inside of me. I realized this was getting too dangerous for me to continue doing. Orochimaru stirred in reaction to my movements, but he didn't wake up.

My right hand fumbled around the nightstand as I looked for the glass of water I kept there. At some point, Orochimaru retrieved a vessel and filled it, because it wasn't long before I felt the water-streaked glass and lifted it to my lips awkwardly. My right hand wasn't used to such things. However, the water seemed to take the edge off the venomous effects. My eyesight was focusing.

I lay back against his plush pillows. I couldn't lay awake all night and wait for him to awaken. He would ask me how long I'd been awake, and he can always tell when I lie about the little things. Why he can't tell that I'm lying about the biggest betrayal I could possibly commit is beyond me. Either he already knows, and is wondering how long I will last under this pressure, or his mind refuses to see what he doesn't want it too. After all, it was his admonitions that were drilled into me. Love is weakness. Pain is strength. Heartache; what is heartache?

Heartache, he would say, is healing.

I didn't think I was healing by laying there next to him, longing to rest my head against his chest and knowing I couldn't. I think I was getting worse. After all, wasn't it human nature to want what you cannot have? Does this apply to me, because I was never human? No, I rather thought not. Orochimaru has always held me to higher standards because of whom and what I was. If I wasn't a Dentsu, he would have never taken me as his own protégé.

I wondered if he regretted it. Taking me in was a dangerous endeavour. After all he did to control me; I remain the only one who is here on their own terms. No curse mark binds my body to return to him. I don't really owe him anything anymore. That debt has been paid for already, perhaps years ago, by all the information I have given him.

My attention shifted to his sleeping form. He was so vulnerable before me. It took a lot of trust for him to lie next to me. I could kill him, it wouldn't be hard.

No, I couldn't kill him. My hatred wasn't that strong. I cared about him too much; I loved him too much.

I let my eyes flutter closed. A sigh escaped my lips. If I just lay here and tried to clear my mind, perhaps I would be safe. Could Orochimaru-Sensei tell the difference between sleep and meditation? I hoped not.

I heard him roll over. He was now brushing against my left arm again, lying on his side. I could tell from his breathing that he was awake. I felt the weight of his arm across my stomach, capturing me once more in his testing grip. He pulled me closer; I longed to go to him, and to resist, all at once. I couldn't do either. I was supposedly asleep. However, I shifted slightly because the way his unchained arm rested under me caused a nerve to be pinched.

His breath fluttered over my neck and ear. I tried not to focus on it. His warmth was sending shivers down my nervous system.

At some point in time, I feel back asleep, because I woke up to Orochimaru stroking my hair. For a sadistic bastard, he could be pretty sensual at times, if only to be more of a sadistic bastard than he already was. He ran his fingers through a tendril, watching the maroon strands separate and flow away from his touch. "You're awake," He merely whispered.

"What the hell are you doing?" I nearly shouted, scooting away from him. I succeeded in falling out of bed with enough momentum to pull Orochimaru on top of me.

"That got you nowhere, Child." He looked down at me, framing my face with his dark hair. He was supporting his body weight with his forearms, mere inches away from my body.

Without thinking I kicked him off me. This succeeded in pissing him off and dislocating my wrist.

The pain in my arm was blotted out by the pain of him pulling me into a stand by my hair. "What were you thinking, Child?" he growled.


	18. Stage Eighteen

Stage Eighteen: Inconsistencies.

You would have thought that by now I would learn that some of my impulses are bad ideas. However, to anyone who knows what it's like to attempt to break a bad habit, you know that it's nigh impossible to control these things.

Orochimaru was staring at me, holding my hair with a tear welling grip. Anger and disgust were etched into every snarl induced crease on his face. Never have I attacked him outright before. "My Lord," I muttered, "I couldn't help it." For the first time in my life I felt remorse. I felt the urge to utter two simple words of weakness. "I'm sorry."

I watched the anger in his face turn into shock. Rule number three: Never apologize. That was instilled by Itachi, and was something I had been punished for over and over with Orochimaru until he came to accept my views that it showed weakness. Sure, he took credit for it eventually. I now knew it wasn't his idea.

"Child," he whispered. "What has happened to you?" His grip on my hair lessened as he resumed stroking it. His other arm snaked around my waist, pulling me into his embrace. "What has he done to you?"

_Damn these infernal drugs,_ I thought. I wasn't myself, Orochimaru wasn't acting normal, and nothing was making any sense. Why was he still touching me? What was I thinking? Why the hell did I just say I was sorry?

"Orochimaru, I am not myself. It has been a week since I last had your venom. It's affecting me as though I was just starting again, although my body has craved it. My mind isn't adapted to it anymore."

He looked down at me with an arched eyebrow.

"You can release me." My tone was flat, unemotional.

He did more than just let go of me; he pushed me away. "Explain your actions, Child. If this was not caused by the young Kazekage, then what has come over you?"

"I was startled by your touching me. I didn't know what to make of it, and in my drug induced haze, I over reacted. I tried to get away from you, forgetting that we were bound together." I straightened my night robe and stood a little taller, looking him in the eye.

What furious eyes they were.

If I hadn't figured out that he was using Gaara's unknowingly true assumption to test me, I would have wondered why he was angry. However, I do know. I know that he's waiting for me to slip up and relax around him, to become comfortable with the idea of him being more than just my kage and my sensei. He's waiting for me to do this so he can finally say he has means to control me.

"Child, you are acting very strange."

"Perhaps we are perceiving different scenarios, then. To me, Sensei, you are acting strange." I had expected this to ignite his obvious anger. It didn't.

"I understand, Tsuki. I can't help but wonder whether or not the Sand Jinchuriki's assumptions had a sliver of truth to them. I too had noticed strange things while you were injected with my venom."

_Shit,_ I thought. _He was telling the truth about my sleep talking, wasn't he? _"I don't know what you mean, Sensei. Please, enlighten me. Surely there is an explanation for all of this." Because of my thoughts and anger toward Gaara, there was venom in my voice.

It was matched by the venom in Orochimaru's fist. He struck my sternum with such force I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I couldn't even hear his cold threats of what he would do next if I continued my disrespect. They were all the same, anyway.

"Tsuki, are you even listening to me?" he growled when I regained composure.

"Yes; if I don't stop this insubordination you'll be sure to bind me to the ground with swords through my wrists and ankles and allow your snakes to feast on my flesh."

"Although your memorization of my words is commendable, that is not what I said," he muttered quite flatly.

"Excuse me if it was your idea to punch me so hard that I couldn't really focus on anything else."

This time I blocked his hit. I held his wrist and spun inward, trapping his arm behind his back. "I also don't enjoy being hit all the time, despite your beliefs otherwise."

"You are playing with fire, Child," he growled.

"No, Orochimaru, I don't think I am. I think you don't know what you're up against. I've never wanted to fight back before. I've had enough of your constant abuse."

He used his other hand to pinch off the pressure point in my neck, forcing me to let go of him. He turned on me with a look of pure amusement. "You don't have enough hatred to fight me, Child." His voice was deceivingly soft. "You have been acting strange, Child. You've gotten distant, withdrawn in your thoughts to the point of distraction. Your tongue has slipped more times than I should have allowed."

By now I had noticed that he was backing me into the opposite wall with his hands on my shoulders.

"I am disappointed, Tsuki. I have always expected more from you, because you have shown you were capable of more than the others. I have grown fond of you, as a sensei should to his students. You excelled quickly for your age. You are the only one who has been capable of remaining on loyalty to me alone. Now, I have found your loyalty is faltering, to the point of betrayal. Have I not provided everything you need? Answer me, Child."

"I owe you everything, Lord Orochimaru. I would not be who I am without your guidance. You speak of betrayal, yet it is I who is being betrayed. You don't trust me anymore. You're doubting me, based on the words of a kid who wants revenge on you for killing his Kage and his father. You're testing me with these subtle actions, kind words, and gestures that I would fall for, assuming his words were true. If I sought to betray you, why would I come back at all? Why would I want to be here? I could find my own way, if it weren't for my loyalty. If I wasn't loyal, why would I come back to this?"

"Why are you so loyal?" he asked with accusation in his voice.

"Listen to yourself, Sensei." I lightly pushed his hands off my shoulders with one motion of my left arm. "Perhaps it is best for both of us if I did go."

I watched his hope to control me shatter within his eyes, to be replaced by anger. To soothe his fire before it ignited, I added,

"This bond between is no longer mutual, Orochimaru-sama. I look to you as my Sensei and my Kage; you look to me for love." It was a bold accusation, but one I had to stage if he was going to let me walk away. I couldn't stay here with him, not like this. My own control was fleeting from me.

He looked so broken at those words; I wanted to wrap my arms around him and assure him that it would be all right. I wasn't going to, but he looked like he was going to cry, kill someone, blow something up, torture the masses, have a mental breakdown, and hug me all at the same time.

His only response was, "I forbid you to go. You are not permitted to leave this village." He turned away from me and left the room. His tone made it clear to me; if I left, it would be an act of betrayal.

Meanwhile, Somewhere in the Land of Rivers

Kisame

I watched as the Akatsuki was silent. Evening was upon us. Sasori was working on another puppet, this one had been splintered to pieces. He's been working on it for some time now. He was muttering under his breath, though I hadn't heard a word of it. I had no idea that it took so long to repair a fucking doll.

Itachi was gone. No one knew where, just that he was no longer stationary. Didn't bother me, though something was definitely bothering him. He went after that girl, I'd bet money on it.

Hidan was down right obnoxious. Mind you, he's normally an arrogant ass hole, but this last month or so, it's gotten worse. His rantings go on and on; Jashin this, fuck that. I wish that fucker would just die already, damn it.

To top things off, Leader is being as mysterious as ever. He called off our search for Jinchuriki just so he can track down this girl. He's sulky, and threatens to kill everyone who comes across him in one of his "moods". It got to the point where no one wanted to cross his path. The only one who was brave, or stupid enough to do it was Konan, though I seriously think she's only doing this out of sympathy. Everyone else is just as likely to end up hurt, or hurting him.

Konan; she's glad Tsuki is gone. Don't know why; they never came across each other. Itachi kept her pretty well held up in his bedroom. Everyone thought they were banging around in there. Nah, I knew better. But Konan, she's got it in for that girl. Perhaps Tsuki did something to personally offend her. Who knows, I've heard things about her; maybe she made a pass at Leader.

Deidara thinks that Tsuki was a threat to Konan, as Leader had a lot of interest in this girl, and invested eight years into finding her. Then again, Deidra doesn't know shit about what's going on. He doesn't even care about Sasori being all banged up some time ago. He said that Sasori deserved it for being so damn arrogant.

Kakuzu don't care one way or another. Don't see why he would. She was never involved in his workings, and he was never involved with hers. He did what he was told, and nothing more. He kept her alive, after Hidan was finished. Hidan still swears he didn't touch her. Not that any of us have reason to believe him.

Nerves are frayed. No one knows what is going to happen next. We know she belongs to Orochimaru. We also know that the Kazekage jinchuriki that we extracted Shukaku from is involved with her. I don't think she knows that he's changed. If you ask me, that relationship is entirely one way; poor kid.

"Kisame, my man, have you seen Itachi lately?"

"Deidara, you know that I don't keep tabs on him."

"Don't you find it kind of weird that he just takes off, hm? Don't get me wrong, we all like to fly solo once and a while, but at least tell someone where you're goin'."

I grunted. Deidara has one character flaw in my book that overrides the rest: he needs to know _everything_.

"So, Kisame, got anything to talk about?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

Eventually he added, "hm?" to it.

"You're seriously fucked up in the head," I growled, then walked away. I turned into the living space, where Sasori still sat on the floor with puppet stuff all sprawled out, still rough and rugged in places that he can't sand out until he fixes some other puppet. "Is there some reason you can't do this in your own space? Why must you make a fucking mess everywhere you go?"

Sasori didn't even look over at my general direction when he answered. "I do it just to piss you off, Kisame." Damn it, he sounds cold as ice, and it pisses me off.

I can't tell if he's serious or not. Damn emotionless doll.

"It isn't our fault you got your ass kicked by a teenage girl," I muttered. "We shouldn't have to see your shame all over our common quarters."

"Lighten up, my man," Deidara interjected. "He's just working. What's your problem, hm? Can't you just leave him to his work? He isn't hurting you."

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?" I asked as I turned around to scream in his face.

His eyebrow furrowed, then arched as though he was saying, 'Really, what the fuck?' He sighed. "Kisame, you're not yourself. What's going on? It wouldn't have anything to do with Itachi leaving, or that girl being here, hm?"

"The hell? You make it sound like I'm gay. Fuck off. I just don't want to talk."

"Sounds like you want to fight, fish face."

I turned around to address the ass hole who was talking. Great, Hidan walked into the room.

"What, am I wrong? You're starting shit with everyone. You've got some anger issues."

"You're one to talk," I responded.

Deidara was getting antsy, I could tell. Sasori still hadn't moved from his work spot.

"Will you two shut up?" the wooden thing hissed. "You're really disturbing."

"Well, I'm sorry to disturb your sulk fest, there," Hidan sneered. "Next time, we'll keep it down so you can keep what little pride you have."

It amused me to see a wooden finger be flung across the room and lodge itself into Hidan's forehead. Sure, he wouldn't suffer much damage, but those splinters are hard to get out.

Deidara sighed. "Is this really necessary?"

Hidan plucked the appendage from his scalp and flicked it in Deidara's general direction. "Are you fuckin' necessary?"

The finger hit home and left a trail of blood down Deidara's cheek. He shuddered before wiping it off with his overly long sleeve.

"Why are you always such a bastard? Did your mother forget to hug you, hm?"

Hidan's eyebrow twitched. All hell was about to break loose on Deidara, and everyone else present. How could I tell? Sasori had gotten up with his stupid toy parts. Bad things happen when dolls move.

"As much as I would love to watch this cat fight, I have shit to do." I left the two to their devices. I was hungry, and I was sure there was something in the kitchen worth eating. Mind you, I have been wrong before.

Deidara: Well, that could have gone a lot better. Hidan definitely is having a bitch fit. I blame that girl. Sure, I've never even _seen_ her, but I know that they weren't acting this way before she came here. Can one person really do this much damage to a group of guys? Un, only if they're sex deprived.

Yeah, I've heard about her. Something different from each member comes up every time I ask. Kisame doesn't like to talk about her. I think she came between him and Itachi. Don't get me wrong, my man isn't gay. I just think she jeopardized their mutual respect, or something. Itachi has been known to kill for less; get him goin' over a girl, and my man doesn't stand a chance.

Itachi doesn't acknowledge her (though I was told that she was his girl while she was here), which I find odd. Yeah, he's a silent person, but from what I heard, he was animate about her staying with him. For a guy who doesn't talk to _anyone_, that's just plain weird.

My man Sasori supposedly got beaten by her up in the mountainous border between us and Suna, though that would take a lot of power. He doesn't really talk much about her, either. Kisame said that she got a kiss out of him, which has to be bull shit. What happened to Sasori not showing emotion, hm? That's just not like him. Besides, who would want to kiss a frickin' doll, hm?

Kakuzu doesn't care. He said she was pretty banged up when she got here, and that Hidan had been the one to retrieve her from Suna. Had bruising to her face, which isn't like Hidan at all. He normally leaves anything above the chest alone, un. I don't think Kakuzu believes Hidan, though he said that the bruises were too healed for Hidan to have caused them.

Being in the Akatsuki has been interesting, but the most interesting thing to happen in what feels like forever had to happen while I was on a mission. Why can't shit like this happen when I'm here, hm? Next time, I don't care what mission I'm on, un. She's in for some explaining, and I don't care how pissed Leader-sama is going to get when I abandon everything to meet her face to face.

Sasori

_This screw goes here, that peg goes there, and a little glue here. _Tsuki; the only one person that can manage to anger me more than Deidara. He's in a frenzy over her. He's searching for answers from everyone. More like searching for a piece of ass. He's going to deal with Itachi when ever he returns. Kisame doesn't say much about where he went. I know he knows where Uchiha went. I also know he's going to give me hell for what I did to her. As if I care? Doubtable, at the least. She's just another vixen. One more reason to have disposed of my human body: I'm not caught up in the stir of overactive yet long dormant testosterone.

No, what infuriates me is that she destroyed parts of my body that I can't fix within. No, she has to press me to reconstruct on of the ten thousand, just so I can sand out this _one_ spot on my shoulder that keeps snagging on my cloak. Imagine having a splinter that you can't feel, can't see, but keeps snagging on everything, in a spot you can't reach because no matter how hard you try, if your hinges won't allow, you can't improve your flexibility to get at it. Imagine building a whole new body to deal with one sliver caused by one whore. You'd understand where I'm coming from.

I can still hear Hidan shouting in the next room. I can't even hear Deidara. He probably stalked off, the way he does. He always has to run from everything.

Hidan

"You douche waffle fuck wadded idiot! I'm not done with you! Get your blond ass back here, you worthless bag of filth! Stop walking away from me, bastard!"

Pein:

"Fetch me Kisame, Konan. I have one simple assignment for him."


	19. Stage Nineteen

Stage Nineteen: Orders

I sighed heavily for the third time in the last ten minutes. Each time, Orochimaru looked up at me, sitting alone in my corner, pretending to read some little scroll on a topic I don't even know about. There's this saying that bad things happen when a woman sighs three times.

Three days; It's been three days. He hasn't said one word to me. It's driving me insane. I miss his voice. I haven't said another word, either. Alright, he's spoken around me, just not to me. Mostly to Kabuto, who walks in, glances at me, then addresses Lord Orochimaru as though I wasn't even in the room.

As Kabuto walked into the room this time, the fifth time today, and I decided to walk out. I had been playing it safe by sticking by Orochimaru's side for these three days. Now, I'm walking out of his sight. I chanced a glance over my shoulder to see his amber eyes staring into mine.

They were cold, emotionless, and a façade. He was watching me to test me, to ensure that I wasn't going to break the ultimatum: I cannot leave.

I couldn't leave. Orochimaru, though as impassive he may have thought he was being, was hurting. I couldn't let him go on like this. Orochimaru doesn't show his emotions, but he lets them destroy him. I can't be the one to destroy him; he has to be the one to destroy me.

He's doing his job wonderfully.

The shoji slid open with all the enthusiasm of a man dead on his feet. Hearing it slide on its track closed was equally foretelling. The shadow formed crossed the room without undressing. There was pressure on the tatami beside me.

I don't know what possessed me to wander into Orochimaru's bed chamber, but I felt that this had to end, and perhaps this is the place to do it.

"Sensei?" I whispered.

His hand was instantly at my throat. He was gripping my trachea, but there wasn't life threatening pressure. I supposed that was a response. I lifted my hand to hover over his, brushing his skin lightly.

"This has to end," I quietly sighed.

His hand slid from my throat to my waist, pulling me into the curve of his body. "You are sorely mistaken, Child." There was nothing in his voice, no emotion, no emphasis, no insight. "This has just begun."

Despite Orochimaru acting strange, life in Otogakure seemed to be unaltered. Sure, there are a few less Shinobi now, but death is just a part of life. The same vendors cluttered the same market streets, the same shop owners went about their business. Standing here in the street, Orochimaru's hold over all of us seemed to lessen, simply because people were getting on with their lives, with or without him. He really didn't matter early on a Monday morning.

The shinobi will tell you this is not the case, that Orochimaru is everywhere. Surely this seems impossible when one stands in the middle of the village and just observes the way everyone behaves. Shops aren't open yet, but they're busy all the same.

I was out with Sasuke. He was still just as cold to me as before, only now he understood. I could not have told him what I was doing in Konoha; I didn't know that Orochimaru would want him. No matter what happened, Sensei would have reprimanded me for breaking confidence. I wasn't willing to go through that; the bond Sasuke has with me isn't a mutual one. All the love in the world wouldn't make me do that.

"If you're my superior, why must I assist you on your errands? Can't you do this alone?" Sasuke asked.

"Drop your venom," I answered. "Orochimaru doesn't trust me to stay here. Surely he told you to attack me if I tried to evade you."

Sasuke sighed. "I find it odd; you're his favourite, his genetic perfection as he put it. You're a big girl, you can take care of yourself."

It was my turn to sigh in exasperation. "You don't get it. He doesn't want me to be able to take care of myself. It means that I no longer rely on him for everything I need. I'm not bound by some curse mark, Sasuke. I'm bound by free will alone."

"If you leave, he'll kill you."

"I don't think Orochimaru can, anymore," I truthfully answered.

"You can't be that strong, Tsuki."

"Even if I'm not, is it impossible for him to become that weak?" I asked.

"Orochimaru doesn't believe in him having weakness."

"Just because you don't believe in weakness, doesn't meant it isn't there."

"And just what is Orochimaru's weakness, Tsuki? Where does he falter?"

"Surely observing him you can notice, Sasuke."

He rolled his eyes at me. "Where are you taking me?" he asked as we walked down an ally behind a bento shop. "He told me that you had a few simple tasks in the village to take care of."

"Did he tell you just what those tasks were?"

"No he did not," he answered, quite annoyed.

"Clearly," I stated. "Orochimaru gave me orders of his own for the day."

"Great," he moaned with sarcasm. "And what are those?"

I smirked at him before pulling hand signs: Boar, snake, rat, tiger, dragon, monkey. I then gripped his throat and threw him into a wall at the end of the alley, where he disappeared. I walked through the wall to follow him.

As soon as I appeared on the other side, he swung a kick at my temple, which was easily blocked, even with his Sharingan blazing crimson. "What the fuck?" he asked, his foot suspended inches from my skull, caught in my hand.

I lowered his leg and landed a kick to his side, sending him across the empty warehouse floor. I watched him skid a considerable distance before approaching him. "Orochimaru wants me to test your progress under his guidance. I find this a little unnecessary, but then again, I'm not the one who gives orders."

He got to his feet, Sharingan still activated. "Then you're not going to get very far. I can see everything you're about to do."

I landed a well placed kick to his forehead; the same kick he was unable to land on me. "Oh really? Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?"

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I don't remember telling you the secret to the Sharingan," he stated.

"You never did," I smirked. "Then again, you should know that you aren't the only Uchiha that I've encountered."

Anger blazed in his eyes like I've never seen before. "Itachi wouldn't dare."

I laughed. Now I was getting somewhere. "Yet, somehow I already know. Isn't that odd?"

He attempted to kick me, punch me, round house to my temple, strike at my shoulder, stomach, land a kick to my chest; all without avail. I countered it all before simply throwing him back and away from me. He blew a fireball toward me, which was easily caught and contained with a wind containment jutsu.

He watched the fire continue to blaze inside the large orb of moving air. "This wind is stronger than a desert storm, yet inside is completely calm," I informed him. "The fire still burns, fuelled by the constant flow of both oxygen and chakura."

"So what?" he asked. "You can keep my fire going."

I made one simple hand sign and watched him barely jump out of the way before his own fire jutsu was sent back at him with full force. Kunai flew at me from behind the inferno, which were intercepted by a wall of flowing air.

"You're slipping," he smirked. "I saw that coming as soon as you trapped it."

"You still don't consider that perhaps I wanted you to see it? You're going to have to think to fight me, Sasuke. You can't rely on your kekkei genkai to see through me. I know how the Sharingan works."

He took full advantage of my lengthier response to attach me, landing a shurikan in my shoulder.

"Much better," I answered, not even flinching from what felt like a mosquito bite. I pulled the weapon from my flesh and pressed my chakura into the metal. Smirking at my target, I threw it carelessly, watching the weapon change direction to lodge into the sternum of my opponent, who tried in vain to dodge. "But still not good enough. Did Kakashi teach you anything at all, boy? Are we starting from scratch?"

He flew at me with anger, hatred even. I pulled a windmill shurikan on him just as he got within reach. It opened and shredded his flesh at his chest, leaving shirt and skin to fall at his feet.

I pulled a quick jutsu that I had often seen Orochimaru use against me, but had never once tried myself. In honour to my master, my insight into jutsu proved superb, as chains wound up Sasuke's ankles and confined his entire body, just as his skin began to heal. His eyes flashed with such loath that I never thought possible from him. At least, not toward me.

I struck three pressure points in succession: at the base of his neck, between his ribs, and at his temple. He quickly fell to his knees. "You bitch," he growled as the chains tightened to restrict him further from getting to his feet.

I slapped him across his face. "I can't believe you, Sasuke. I know you're hurt, but damn. Why can't you just let it go? I wasn't involved with you. It was Gaara I was sent after. Drop it," I hissed, tightening the chains against his chest. "Friendship isn't about grudges; I don't know who it was who taught you what friendship is, but they didn't do a good job. Even I know that. Don't be blinded by your anger. It will only bring you down."

I knelt beside him, to help him heal the skin that hadn't been dealt with yet.

"Get away from me," he growled. "I don't need your help."

I hung my head, but otherwise did not move. "What has become of you, Sasuke?" I raised my gaze to look him in the eyes, still blood red. "What happened to my friend?"

"You left him behind, remember?" he stated with ice in his voice. "And don't look at me that way. You're not a lost puppy dog. You don't need me."

I lightly brushed my fingertips against the skin of his hand. "It doesn't mean that I don't want you." He tried his best to pull away from me, but couldn't because of the chains.

"Just leave me alone," he half whispered.

I crouched onto my feet, rising a little from my kneeling stance. "As you wish, Sasuke-san." I lingered long enough to leave a tear stained kiss on his cheek before vanishing, releasing the chains from their hold against his flesh.

I headed back alone, leaving Sasuke to untangle himself. I knew he was being two faced back there. Despite his anger, despite his hatred, he held back. I did everything as Orochimaru asked, I even got wounded for him, but in the end, his love is still his weakness. He is blinded by his hurt. He has yet to learn how to use it to his advantage.

Once I stood before the entrance to what I know to be 'home,' I decided against going in. Sasuke still had his pride to nourish. If I come back before him, especially if he takes forever, Orochimaru is going to think it worse than it was. If I linger, and he arrives before me, Orochimaru will think he fought better.

I found myself at the Valley of the End, standing on Madara's head. I kicked at a pebble, sending it over the cascading waterfall.

I wondered to myself, why do I act without thought? Why would I try to heal the wounds I inflicted in a battle? Surely that is salt in the wound, but why should I care enough to want to make him feel better? Sasuke, you were the one friend I've ever known that I could tell anything to. Someone who could relate to me, and now you're gone?

I remember him defending his cause against Gaara. He was trying so hard to open my eyes to his love for me. He tried so hard to make me leave Gaara alone, arguing that I had spent so much more time with him than with this, this stranger.

"_You kissed him."_

"_And?" I hissed._

"_You've never kissed me," he pointed out._

_I looked at him. "You have tons of girls swooning over you."_

"_And?"_

"_Well, I figured you get pissed if I tried."_

"_So you wanted to?" he asked._

"_If you're thinking I love him, I don't."_

"_You just kissed him."_

"_I kiss all of my friends."_

"_You've never kissed me… Do you honestly think I would of stopped you?" he demanded. "Those girls are nothing, and you're the only friend I have. Do you think I care?"_

"_Apparently you care," I retorted._

"_He challenged me, Tsuki. And now it's like he's challenging me again. You don't understand."_

_I sighed. "Sasuke, calm down."_

"_You're wasting your affection on someone who doesn't deserve it. He isn't capable of returning it, you know."_

He was so different then. Looking back, it's hard to think that was a year ago, maybe two. He was so spiteful towards the future Kazekage. Hell, he probably still is. I couldn't blame him, Gaara did challenge him on nearly every level. He wanted to kill Sasuke for the sake of proving he was better.

Sasuke wasn't really an better than Gaara was. He was just as arrogant, stuck up in his own way. He still is. He took a huge wound to his ego today. I wouldn't be surprised if he took his hatred for Naruto and channelled it toward me, using me to obtain the Mangekyo Sharingan.

I have often wondered what would happen if two Uchiha clan members engaged in Tsukiyomi on each other. Would they both be forever lost in torture, until they died? Would anything happen at all? That could be the case, they might cancel each other out. I don't think there's anyone who has tried. From my understanding, only two of the clan members have ever obtained and used it before.

I looked at the sun. It was approaching high noon. I left Sasuke hours ago. Surely he would have returned by now. Orochimaru was probably impatient, pacing behind his desk as he calls me an insolent child for making him wait so long. In another hour he would send Kabuto out to look for me, while chastising Sasuke for letting me out of sight long enough to break my promise and get away.

As soon as I had risen, it seemed that my estimation was off. Kabuto was standing behind me, watching as I sat in meditation. He explained to me that, though I was still technically in Orochimaru's boundaries, it was still inexcusable for me to have run off without telling Orochimaru-dono where I was going. Orochimaru is furious with me for leading him into a false pretence that I had left him. I had asked why he was furious if he knew it was false. This was a mistake.

"Orochimaru knows that you are going to push your limits. He understands that you are still in defiance with him. Though he does not see your reason, he knows that what ever they may be, you are slipping." He paused momentarily. I knew it wouldn't last. He then continued.

"Personally, I think he should have killed you years ago when you showed up after supposedly going to Sunagakure. We looked, you weren't there. Then this story about the Akatsuki? What do they want with you? You're not important to anyone other than Orochimaru, you'll never mean anything to anyone other than Orochimaru, and no one will allow for you besides Orochimaru. Even Sasuke has abandoned you, someone who was once his friend, when he found out who you served. Through these years Orochimaru has marked you as his, even if he can't keep a curse mark on you. They know who you belong to. They know you betrayed Konohagakure. They won't want you. You might as well give up and resign to a quiet life here. Maybe Orochimaru-sama will find sympathy in his heart and use you for an experiment or two, or perhaps he'll just feel sorry for you and kill you. You deserve less." Kabuto glanced out of the corner of his eye wearily. He knew that I let him finish, and he knew that he was in danger.

"No one else wants me?" I asked.

He nodded. He explained that I had no redeeming qualities other than pure skill as a shinobi and konoichi. He took advantage of me not receding into patterns I had established long ago; he took it as weakness when I didn't assault him for being too bold.

I was too outspoken to be considered good enough to be a home maker, and that I would never settle down with someone. This I already knew. He went on to say that I was incapable of holding a friendship. I knew this was a lie. I had Tayuya, Itachi, perhaps even Neji, if one stretched the imagination a bit. Did he not hide the truth from Lady Hokage? Did he not help me at all?

Kabuto had clearly covered ground while I remembered past happenings. He was now going on about how insubordinate I was, and that Orochimaru let me get away with murder when I should have been disciplined.

He was not allowed to go further on the subject of how worthless he thought I was, as we were now in earshot of Orochimaru's study. We walked the remainder of the corridor in mutual silence, him hoping I would finally get what was coming to me, and me hoping Sasuke wasn't going to be on the other side of that door.

Kabuto slid it open to allow me access, and I walked in with him on my tail. Orochimaru was pacing back and forth behind his desk, and Sasuke was sitting in my chair across from it, running his hand over the indentation that was made during the experiment. Sensei looked in our direction when we walked through the threshold, and grinned. Looks like we were both not getting what we wanted.

"You're late, Child."

"I wasn't given a time to return, Sensei."

He looked to Kabuto. "Did she leave the village?"

Kabuto shrugged and responded that I didn't technically leave the his land, but that I was on the border. He wanted to say more, but didn't.

Orochimaru looked Kabuto over sceptically. "That was quite a walk together. You appear unscathed." He looked to me. "What did you talk about?"

Kabuto looked at me with horror. It clicked for him.

There was a reason I had held my tongue, and kept from destroying him. "Orochimaru-sama, Kabuto was just explaining to me that he doesn't approve of your discipline. He believes that you are getting lax, and that soft nature is permitting me to be defiant. He claims that I have no worth as a Shinobi or Konoichi, and made clear to me that he believes your judgement to be clouded in keeping me in active duty. He expressed that I have no redeeming qualities and that I should be dismissed, killed, or solely used in experiments." I wanted the satisfaction of allowing Orochimaru, the primary victim of Kabuto's offence besides myself, to have the pleasure of ripping his skin from flesh, flesh from bone, and bone from each tendon that strung his wiry frame. I didn't like tattling like an eight year old, but knowing the pain that Orochimaru could procure was greater than I could produce was worth the action.

I watched as Orochimaru boiled underneath the surface of a composed façade. Kabuto now looked terrified, his horror had tripled at the least. Sasuke was looking back and forth between Orochimaru, Kabuto and myself, blatant shock on his face.

"Kabuto." Orochimaru pronounced each syllable with deliberate enunciation. "I shall deal with you when I am finished here. Leave, and when I require your attendance, I shall send Sasuke to retrieve you. Do not leave the compound. Do not evade him. Go."

I looked over at Sasuke. "You're in my chair, Uchiha."

Sensing the threat behind my words, Sasuke silently removed himself to the seat at Orochimaru's left.

Orochimaru's eyes followed his movement across his vision field. "This says a lot, Sasuke. How great was your defeat?"

Sasuke avoided answering his question.

"I see," Orochimaru remarked. His eyes flashed back in my direction. "It seems that Sasuke has a way to come before he can withstand you. However, I have to wonder if it was more than just a spar I sent him into. There is ice in your countenance, Child."

"No, Orochimaru-sensei, it was a spar you sent him into. However, it wasn't so for me. Sasuke is still emotionally wounded."

"I am not wounded," Sasuke hissed, "I have learned my error in trusting you and have resolved to never allow it to happen again."

"I am proud of you, Sasuke, for coming to that conclusion. However, Tsuki is your comrade. Hatred of her could cost you your life in combat. Your pride is not worth your life, or the success of your mission. You need to find the balance between distrust and despise."

Orochimaru's chastisement seemed wasted to me. Sasuke is a stubborn person. He has made up his mind to hate me. There was nothing Orochimaru nor I could do to stop him short of killing him. Personally, it happens to be just one less liability. I don't have to worry about how he would handle it if something happened to me, which with my lifestyle, something inevitably will happen.

Orochimaru, being the type of man who hated keeping anyone waiting, got straight to business. He held three vials, labelled Sasuke, Tsuki, and Ex1. They all contained blood. Ex1 was full, and the other two were half drained. I assumed Ex1 was the experimental mixture of Sasuke's and my own plasma.

"I don't remember you taking that from me, Sensei."

He cocked an eyebrow at me and explained that because I was drugged the night before, I wouldn't remember him drawing the sample from me based on the results of the entire experiment conducted in the months prior.

He also explained that there was a brief period of eight hours in which the blood remained fused together before Sasuke's genetics were rejected from mine. It was a momentary window of opportunity that would allow my offspring to inherit the Sharingan kekkei genkai, a window so small, in fact, that it is unlikely that my embryo would even survive the rejection of his blood. There was less than a fourteen percent chance that all of this would happen as planned and desired, without there being loss of genetic material, embryo, or any other factor that would corrupt the experiment.

By the end of his much wordier explanation than my own, Sasuke's eyes glazed over. I didn't blame him. If this pertained to me as much as it did to him, I would wonder why I was even involved at all. However, I was required to pay strict attention, considering this was my future child whose life hung on the line.

It was concluded that one egg from me was required, possibly more, for Orochimaru to play with.

"Why do you need an egg?" Sasuke asked.

I sighed heavily. "This has stopped concerning you a long time ago. I don't think you need to know." The words were like daggers being thrown from my tongue. This is something I would have told Kimimaro, should he still be alive, or even Tayuya. I could tell Orochimaru now grasped the extent of the offence dealt to me.

"Are you not curious yourself, Child?" he asked.

"Not at all," I answered. "I have an idea already as to what you're planning, and that is enough of an answer as I need."

"Voice this idea, if you will."

I stated that with what I knew of Orochimaru, he would attempt to extend this small window of time by either tampering with the genetic infrastructure of the egg, or by injecting Sasuke's blood multiple times throughout the conception timeframe. He would also observe the effects of both experiments, and would actually require four eggs, two as controls, and the other two just for observing the effects of the experiment. I made it clear that I did not wish to know how he was going to provoke cell division in the unfertilized eggs, and that this whole thing disturbed me to a minor degree.

"What are your thoughts, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn," he sighed. "I have no idea what either of you just said. I am not a medical shinobi, nor do I wish to become one. If you would like a second opinion, ask Kabuto."

I saw Orochimaru get that blank expression that normally translated to pain. I quickly punched Sasuke with full force, knocking him out of his chair, hoping that it would appease Orochimaru-sensei enough to keep him from doing much worse.

He had other ideas. He threw Sasuke into the farthest wall, going on a tantrum about Sasuke's place in Otogakure. Such insolence would not be tolerated from him again, and if Sasuke had any will to live, he would learn manners when speaking to his superiors.

Taking this as my cue to leave, I quitted the room without saying a word to either men. They can battle this one out, for all I care. Sasuke has done nothing to deserve my protection. Let him feel the repercussions for disrespecting Orochimaru.

It shouldn't have surprised me, but finding Kabuto listening at the door made me jump. "Poor Sasuke," said he, "Someone should have warned him not to take an example from you. Orochimaru lets you get away with murder. If any of us _mortals _tried anything of that sort, we would be beaten within an inch of our existences. But not you, no. You're up on a pedestal, better than us. You get the look, or scolded like a child. He needs to realize that you've grown up."

I gripped his throat without the care of his life on my mind. I threw him into Orochimaru's shoji. "By the sounds of it, he's ready for you, Kabuto."

I heard more shouting from Sensei as I walked back to the Eastern Wing: my rooms. It grew faint with every step I took, and by the time I reached my hallway, I could block it out entirely. It was nice to see him angry at someone else other than me for once.

Once back in my own bedroom, the most sacred of my sanctuary, I immediately knew something was amiss. Things looked different, as though they had been shuffled about; someone was here. Someone evaded my traps, disarmed my alarms, and survived my quarters long enough to move things around.

I searched everything. They didn't just move things, they took from me, and they took the strangest things. Clothes were gone, books, journals, trinkets, my kakuro puzzles; things I would use every day. The little money I had wasn't touched, but pictures and objects of sentiment were removed.

The perpetrator did leave one thing in return for taking my things which eased my mind only in the slightest. Upon my desk there was one single leaf of paper so small that it looked like a scrap among my piles of paperwork. To the untrained eye, it would have been looked over. Even Orochimaru would have missed it, but I knew every document, every shred of paper in this room.

I opened it, and scrawled upon it in a man's hand was one word:

_**Stay.**_

I looked for more notes hidden among my piles, but there was no other clue, not another utterance. Someone got past my defences to ransack my room and tell me to stay? It didn't make sense. I was far from confused; I was simply dumbfounded.


	20. Stage Twenty

Stage Twenty: Snares

The note was quickly tucked away without much more regard. Orochimaru would have no need to view it, and I didn't really want him all over my room anyway. I considered the possibilities, and there isn't much threat behind someone telling me what I was already ordered to do. Orochimaru had made it very clear to me that I was not to leave of my own free will, nor would he allow his will to let me venture too far unassisted for a long time.

The next morning, I entered Orochimaru's office to see that there was damage all around me. Bookshelves were broken, walls had been cracked. "Ohayou gozai masu, Sensei."

"Ohayou, Little One."

I observed him for some time, evaluating his current state. He was bent over charts, and there was paraphernalia about that made obvious to me that he had not slept much in the last night. Although he was sleep deprived, he was also in a good mood. It seemed that thrashing both Sasuke and Kabuto relieved him of stress that had accumulated from late nights, early mornings, and insubordinate shinobi.

I took my place before him, noticing that there was an empty cup beside his paperwork. "Sensei, would you like more tea?" I asked. There were times when caffeine was the only thing that kept him going.

"No. I haven't been drinking tea."

I understood, but took the cup from him anyway to refill it. He seemed to perk up when I walked back into the room. The aroma of the coffee was enough to revitalize his mind. The first sip sparked life back into his slowly closing eyes. This last night had been more stressful to him than I had first thought.

It wasn't long before Kabuto walked into the room with charts, providing detailed updates on all the experiments that Orochimaru was conducting that didn't include me. Kabuto never had clearance on those. I listened to them, though not focusing on what was going on or what was going to be done. There were problems, but there were also enough successes to outweigh them. I was convinced that the night, though long for the subjects, was a good one all together for Orochimaru.

Kabuto showed no signs of being confronted by Orochimaru. Being an elite medical shinobi, I didn't expect him to. He stood as tall and as arrogant as ever, nearly acting as though it hadn't happened at all. There was the edge in his voice that he couldn't hide, and that told me all I needed to know. Kabuto had what was coming to him. I am the last person he will ever critique Orochimaru to again.

Sensei payed close attention to what was being said. He asked a few questions, and referred to the charts that were placed before him. A few things had caught my attention; instable vitals, mostly. There were always those whose organs failed when subjected to Orochimaru's unrelenting medical research.

Thus, the day began like every other in Otogakure. People bustled in the streets as they opened their shops or hurried off to work. Shinobi filtered in and out seeking assignments and relief from the day to day training regimen. Sasuke left for training soon after Kabuto arrived, and hadn't even bothered entering to declare where he was going or what he was to do.

I was forced to stay inside by Orochimaru's daunting amounts of medical work that needed looked over. The three of us looked over vast amounts of information, each of us working on our own sets of experiments. Kabuto was tolerable at best when he was busy like this. I was often irritable.

I could not tell the differences from one experiment to another after I had filled in the allotted information and closed the manila file. I had not the passion for such things, as experiments often puzzled me toward their necessity. Is there point in seeing if you could force a person to live entirely underwater? What shinobi is ever going to consent to being solely aquatic? I have often wondered if Orochimaru does things just because he wants to know if he can.

Of course I never voiced this to him. Do you think I was a fool? This was his life, his passion. To shroud it in doubt and question was worse than treason. Kabuto knew it, and so did I. Naturally, it helped that the little nerd shared Sensei's passion for the medical monstrosities that they were attempting to create. There were times when I only scraped by on my will to please Orochimaru alone; sometimes, only my will to survive. Perhaps he mistook my loyalty to him as a profound passion for the sciences.

I felt overwhelmed. Kabuto kept muttering strangely, the same way he always does when he's consumed by something. Orochimaru was a statue, pausing his still tranquillity only to fill in data, unroll a scroll, turn a page. I was still weary of him. The things he had said and done in the last few days, weeks even, had me on edge. I have always known that his moods were subject to change without further notice, but they have never been this volatile.

In my mistaken action of staring at him through this thought process, he noticed my lack of progress. Still keeping what he could of the silent treatment, he simply arched an eyebrow at me. I blinked once, then turned back to my charts. I sighed.

Kabuto opened his mouth as if he were going to say something when I stood up. One look from me silenced what ever he was about to say before it even emerged from his gullet. My butt hut; hours had passed. I strolled over to Orochimaru's desk. His eyebrow arched at me.

I have come to learn that he has different eyebrow arches to imply different things. Before this, I had no idea. This one happened to say, "Sit back down, get to work, and don't move again." Thrown into that was, "Don't say a word, and I won't throw you."

I arched my own eyebrow, stalled for half a second to irk him (which was _very_ dangerous), and snatched his coffee mug. The look on his face was priceless. Fury mixed with astonishment, thrown among the confusion. Apparently, this was a little brash for his current mood.

I then turned my back on him (while smirking a very dangerous smirk to smirk) and marched out of the room. For some reason, I had defiance in my blood that day. This is what happens when I sit still for too long.

I passed a few shinobi in the hallways. Tayuya had stopped to ask me about Orochimaru's current state of mind. She had run into Sasuke earlier, who was still nursing his wounds. After telling her that he was edgy, I made my way into the kitchen to refill the coffee mug. I added the appropriate amount of sugar before returning to Orochimaru's watchful glare. He noted the mug in my hands, and there was a faint hint of a smile on his face… until I sat down with it.

The day went by a lot faster with that cup of coffee in my system.

I went back to my quarters after the piles of paperwork were dealt with appropriately. My mind felt numb from all the numbers and charting that had to be done. My bed had never looked so comfortable. Nor had it ever smelled so weird.

Now, whoever was here last to leave me the note knew to cover their scent. I know this, because I couldn't smell who it was who had been here. I am guessing that they had used the clothing they took from me to cover the smell of their own clothes. There were a lot of precautions that had been taken to insure that I didn't know _who_ was here. They obviously wanted me to know they _had_ been here.

Now with this intruder, I could smell them all over the place. Everything they touched had their scent on it. Well, her scent on it. I was pretty sure it was a girl. Dunno why a girl would go through my things, or how she got in here. It seemed like I needed to rewire a few things.

"What are you doing, Child?"

Orochimaru's aggravated glare stopped me. It was about three in the morning. I had two wires in each hand and three between my teeth.

"Inah rewhairig myh trabs," I answered.

His hand took the wires out of my teeth. "Answer again," he demanded.

"I'm rewiring my traps," I repeated.

"Is there a reason why?" he asked.

"To keep Kabuto _and_ Sasuke out," I answered. In truth, having Sasuke around added a whole other mindset I had to contour to with these defences. He was going to see something Kabuto wouldn't notice. I had to add that into it. It was a truthful lie: the only kind I could tell Orochimaru without being seen right through. Him knowing about the intruders would only make things worse for me. Conspiracy would be thrown around. It will be anyways, from what little I know.

"Is there something you're hiding from me?" he asked.

My heart rate picked up. I'm sure he noticed. "Would I just continue working if I were? You've always been able to get through my wires."

"I know where they all are, or at least, I did."

"I'm very sure you'll pick them out in an instant, regardless, Dono."

Using the formal suffix to name him seemed to upset him a little bit, as though I was driving a nail into the statement I made the night he told me to remain here. I saw the same hurt in his eyes, just before it was whisked away.

"Or, rather, I could watch you put the rest of them in," he suggested.

"Be my guest, Sensei."

At this statement, he turned into my bedroom. The one place I didn't want him to be. Luckily, I had burned the note and altered the room myself. I didn't think he'd notice, but it was Orochimaru who was snooping around. I'm sure you'd understand that I wasn't quite at ease there. Especially when considering the mood he had been for the past few weeks.

I had moved a few feet down the corridor when he stepped out of the shoji. "You've rearranged your room." He waited for my nod in response. "I like it better this way."

"Thank you," I answered with unease.

"You seem a little anxious. Is there something I need to know about?"

_Shit… _"No, Sensei. I'm just cautious. Your mood is a tad unpredictable."

"You should know that I don't act, I react. Tsuki, I won't discipline unless it's called for. Is it called for?"

"No, Sensei, I don't feel it is."

"I should worry if you had replied otherwise."

"Indeed, I suppose you should."

He regarded me for a moment.

"Permission to speak, sir?"

"As always, Child."

"Why are you awake?"

"Because you are."

How typical of him. He didn't trust me enough to sleep unless I was docile and drugged next to him. "Aren't you tired?"

"Caffeine goes a long way," he answered.

"It doesn't go on forever."

"Perhaps not," he answered.

It was then that I noticed he had something very long and very thin wound between his fingers and strung between both hands. He was playing with it, making sure I knew it was there. I felt danger for one thin moment, just long enough for the breath to catch in my throat and fear that he changed his mind, and decided Kabuto was right about me.

Once rational thought caught up to inform me that it was neither the right colour nor the right width for a steel wire and that it was, in fact, harmless, Orochimaru let me in on his little game.

"Tsuki, whose hair is this?" He held it up in the light, making sure that the long, blonde strand held my attention. I had missed something.


	21. Stage Twenty One

Stage Twenty One: Surprises

The hair; that one tiny, really long hair. I somehow got him to believe that it might have been a hair from Konohagakure. There was a girl there who had really long, blond hair. Mind you, it didn't last beyond the Chunin exams, but she had it. Beyond her, I couldn't think of any one who had the hair, nor why it could have gotten in my quarters, unless I told him flat out that there had been a series of people in my bedchambers. As you can imagine, that would not have gone well on many levels.

He handed the hair back to me reluctantly, seeing the holes in my theory, but also seeing that I genuinely did not know who else it could have come from. I knew there were thoughts going on in his mind that he wasn't sharing with me, but I couldn't just ask him about it, no matter how badly I wanted to.

Regardless of what he thought, it's what I thought that mattered, and I was determined to find out everything I could about this mystery strand.

Kisame

Curse everything. I have never been to a place that is so damn _dry_. Does Pein not understand that I _need_ humidity to live? No, he doesn't. Nor does he care. People keep looking at me. It's like they know. I'm not even wearing the stupid cloak. Wish I was. The sweat would keep me moist. But no, I'm not supposed to be identified, all because Deidara blew this place up! Bastard…

I was given a photo. One, tiny, outdated photo. This picture has to be at least ten years old. And I'm supposed to find the girl. How? He doesn't care. Brown hair, green eyes, appears to be average height next to her shorter, younger sister. Absolutely unremarkable in any way. How are they even related? They look nothing alike!

Her name was Umiko. Just goes by Umi, I guess. Supposedly returned here after a while to check things out. Well, both of them did, and around the same time. Must be some sister thing, where, they think they're dead, but they still have to do _everything _together. No, I shouldn't assume things. I don't know if they were close or not. They were little girls. _They_ probably don't know if they were close or not. Assuming things could get me in trouble here.

Okay, here's what I know. One, she's Tsuki's older sister. Two, she's supposedly dead. Three, she was reportedly seen here by the guys at the village gates. Four, Pein wants her at all costs, nearly as much as he wanted Tsuki, but not as bad. Umi did something smarter than Tsuki. She laid low for ten years. Tsuki had to go and make a name for herself. She got infamous under Orochimaru's thumb. Now she's trying to escape, but everyone already knows. Well, not everyone. Just Konoha, Suna, and everywhere else on their border. So, Lightning shouldn't know. Definitely no the land of Snow. She's a desert cat. She wouldn't like it there.

This girl I'm looking for, she's so unnoticeable. Just blends in with everyone. She doesn't have the vermillion hair of her sister, nor her violet eyes. I've seen five like her already. Show them the picture, and they don't know who she is. Hell, they could be lying to me for all I know.

The story I'm supposed to give her goes something like this: 'I know a guy who knew your mother. He's as good as dead, so I'm the next in line to take responsibility for you. Your sister's somewhere out there (I got Tsuki's current picture from Itachi, though he was gone when I took it. I'll pay with blood when I return.) and I need your help to find her.' Yeah, crock of shit, right?

I've been at this for about a week. No luck. I've decided to go back the inn and try again tomorrow. There's a park around an oasis on the way that I stop by just for the humidity. That's when shit turned south.

"Kisame?"

Oh god, any voice but that voice.

Someone else muttered, "You know that guy?"

"God kid, you're following me?" I turn around to see Yahara Usami clutching the arm of some freaky ass boy wearing a Suna plate. They guy was wearing more make up than she was, which is saying something. She giggled something. "No, I'm not following you. I was here first."

I rolled my eyes. "Great. Why don't you go back to your date?"

Yahara has been bothering me since she was at least ten years old. She showed up in Kirigakure right around the time I joined up with the Cipher Division. Where as most kids her age kept a thorough and respectful distance from me, the brat just wouldn't leave me alone! It was a small benefit to joining the Akatsuki, leaving her behind. And now, I have to find this stupid girl, another stupid girl has found me. Damn my luck.

"Kisame, what's in your hand?" She immediately grabbed for the photo I carried. I tried to keep it from her, but being lost in thought as I was, she caught the damn thing. I watched her carefully, and noticed that her face fell as soon as she looked at it. The childish joy ebbed from her misty, green eyes.

The boy looked over her shoulder. "Let me see, Hara."

She turned her back on him, hiding the picture from view. "Who's she?" Her eyes met mine, challenging me.

"I think you know, kid," I answered. I dug around in my pocket for the second picture. "Know her, too?" I asked.

The guy piped up before Yahara could. "Yeah, that's Tsuki."

I looked at him. "Wasn't asking you, punk."

"I've seen her," Yahara answered. "She was here a couple weeks ago." She looked at her feet. It was rather uncharacteristic of Yahara, if you ask me.

"I can vouch for that. Why, did Tsuki do something wrong?"

I sighed. "What hasn't she done wrong?" Yahara looked up at me again. "Regardless of Tsuki, it's Yahara I'm here for."

She perked up. "What? Why? Kisame, you monster, you can't just stalk me here?"

I've never met someone who could go through three octaves faster than she could. "Yahara, don't make a scene. You're not being stalked. I just have information you might find interesting, and knowing you as I do, you're not going to want that revealed with your boyfriend standing next to you."

"Yahara, what is this guy talking about?"

This is going to get messy, fast. I'm going to have to find a sake house somewhere after all of this is over.

"No, Kankuro, he's right. I'll tell you everything I can, I promise. But I need to take care of this alone."

"Hara, I don't trust him."

"I trust him," she answered.

I couldn't believe her. She was there when I killed my own team. She was there when I killed most of the government officials in the village. She was there when I abandoned everything, and she trusts me? What the hell is wrong with this woman?

"Come with me, Usami." I waved her toward the village entrance.

"When will she be back?"

The fool had the audacity to ask. "I can't answer that."

She looked up at me. "Why is that?"

"Because I don't know."

Tsuki

I have sliced, diced, and stared at this strand for as long as I could, in as many ways as I could possibly think of. Yet there are three things that I have learned. First, this person really gets dehydrated, due to the lack of oils found in the quick of the hair. Second, they don't get the vitamins from fruits and vegetables. And third, they've lived in the area of Konoha or the surrounding area for quite some time. None of this tells me who they are, or why they were in my room.

Orochimaru has hovered behind me constantly, always wondering what I have found as far as the information this hair can give me. I really wish I had one of Ino's hairs to cross refer to. Until then, there is nothing more that I can to with this strand of unknown hair.

I pushed myself away from the microscope, the piles of charts, papers, and envelopes. My desk was cluttered. My office was a mess. I had locked myself in my own wing for days, breaking only for food and drink. I needed a shower, badly. My hair was greasy, and I felt filthy from sitting in one spot for too long. Not to mention sore.

Needless to say, it was a relief to feel the hot water washing away the accumulated filth and stress of the day. Bubbles accumulated down at the drain, and the scent of pomegranate filled the steamy air.

"You take some really long showers, Brat."

My breath caught in my chest. "How dare you invade my space, you bastard."

Hidan's chuckle filled the silence. "Tell me all about it, slut. Get out of the shower." His hand snaked in through the curtain and shut the water off. I still had suds on my chest.

I poked my head out of the curtain, making sure I couldn't be seen from the neck down. He was clutching my towel in his hands, and I had no other means to cover myself, other than to either stand there and drip dry, or approach him for the towel. "I hope Jashin eats you alive."

He smiled. "It would be an honour. Get out, you have some explaining to do, Brat."

"I have nothing to explain to you," I spat.

He took an envelope out from under my towel, and held it up so I could see it. "No, I think you do," he responded. "How long have you had this?"

I sighed. I didn't want him to ever see it. "I got it the night you kidnapped me. I'm just as surprised as you are."

Hidan sighed. "I'm not surprised."

For the first time, he seemed to give up on anger, and remorse took over. "No? What the hell is wrong with you? You killed the only woman left to tie you down, even though you had little to no contact in at least twelve years, robber her of any happiness she, her husband, and her daughters could have had assuming they would survive your attack, and you still expected this?"

"You got away," he muttered. "That wasn't an accident. I could have tracked you down. I could have finished it. It'd have been so fuckin' easy."

"Why didn't you?"

"You'd never understand."

I sighed. "This isn't something I want to talk to you about. May I have my towel, please?" I held out my hand, still clutching the shower curtain in my right.

He handed it to me and looked away. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness."

"I wouldn't give it to you if you did. You killed them knowing what you were doing. No one said you had to. You didn't have to join the Akatsuki."

"Thought you didn't want to talk about it."

"Give me some slack. I'm talking to the man who killed my family." I wrapped the towel around myself, ensuring everything was hidden.

"Let me guess, you're going to follow with a damn monologue on how you're going to swear to kill me to avenge your lost family, or dye trying? Or you're going to inflict as much pain on me as your lost family felt, and for all the emotional damage I caused you? Fuck that."

"You're a whinny bitch, Hidan. Don't you think I would have tried that already, had I planned on being that foolish? Do you think I haven't learned anything from Sasuke? It would be a waste of my time."

I stepped out of the shower gingerly. For the first time, I looked my godfather in the eye. He was thinking something, and I wasn't sure I liked it. "Don't look at me that way."

"Can't help it. You're a bitch, but you're still her daughter."

"Hidan?" I batted my eyelashes.

"Hnn?" he grunted. He looked up into my eyes for a slight moment, before returning his gaze elsewhere.

"You're a bastard. Get out of by bathroom."

He sighed heavily, then threw a kimono at me. "You're going to need help with that." He stepped out the door and back into my bedroom. I shrugged into the kimono that I had picked out for me by a mass murdering Jashinist. Though he was right, I did need someone else to tie the bow at the back, I didn't need him. I produced a clone to do it for me, then immediately discharged her.

He was waiting for me on my bed.

"So, I take it was you who was in my room and took half my clothing and possessions."

"As much as I would love to give you that much discomfort, I was not the lucky bastard who ransacked your shit. Kakuzu did all the dirty work. He didn't touch your cash, though, greedy douche." He rolled his eyes. "If I did it, you'd have scars."

"So, then you're here to take me away. Yeah, good luck with that." I walked toward the shoji and slid it open. "I'm kind of on house arrest."

"Yeah, like you'd still be conscious if I were here to take you away. Bitch, please. I'd have taken you away naked, and laughed about it as I dumped you on the floor of the commons. Deidara would have had his way with you all over the sofa."

Realization struck me harder than an angry Zabuza on steroids. "If both you and Kakuzu have been in my bedroom in the last week, who else did Leader send here?"

Hidan scratched his chin while tilting his head back. "We were the only two, why?" He cracked his neck in boredom.

"No one else? Not Itachi or Kisame?" I asked, leading him to tell me anything.

"Itachi disappeared after you left with that guy. Kisame got assigned some mission back in Suna. Damn if he didn't stop bitching. Can't stand dry places. Kinda a shark thing. Sasori's been out of commission since your last encounter. Deidara went somewhere, but not on Leader's business. Didn't say where he was goin'. Don't care to know."

That was it then. He had to have been here. But why? We'd never actually met. He was gone when I was there last, and all I knew was hearsay. What means did he have for coming here? "No one else could have been in my room then?"

"Why the hell do you care? Not like we're a danger to you. We're not allowed to kill you, though I would love a crack at it."

I arched an eyebrow in his direction. "I'm starting to believe you're a badass for show and nothing more."

"Say anything about it, and I'll cut out your tongue."


	22. Stage Twenty Two

Stage Twenty Two: Heart to Heart

"How long are you staying?" I asked. Hidan was sprawled out on my bed, hands behind his back, and his cloak was on the floor.

"As long as I want, whore. There's nothing you can do about it."

I sighed. "You're going to get me killed, Hidan." I threw his cloak in his face. "Put that back on. I don't want to look at you half naked."

He barked a laugh. "Then stop looking at me. No one says you have to stare, skank. You're not high on my 'to do' list, kid."

I reddened in the face. "You're horrid. Don't go outside this corridor." I made for the shoji, hoping to leave him behind.

"And what if I do?" The smirk on his face made me want to throw the dresser at him. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Rip you apart at every joint and pin you to the wall with swords." I smirked at the mental image of his body tacked to the wall, his head still swearing profusely, fingers wiggling, but otherwise helpless. "I'll make you beg Jashin for death."

"Sounds like one hell of a good time. Maybe I'll take you up on that."

I muttered under my breath, "What did my mother see in you?" I slid the shoji open and stepped outside.

"The same things you do," he answered.

The shoji slid closed too late; I heard his answer. I shook my head, trying to clear his words from defiling my mind. Suddenly, my room had just become way too small. I was seriously considering moving into one of the smaller side bedrooms for the duration of his stay.

I had a lot on my mind. The killer of my entire family was laying; lounging really, on my bed, making innuendoes under the nose of the man who has forbade me to have any contact to anyone who isn't under his control. My life was on the line in more ways than I wanted to imagine.

"I haven't seen you in a few days. Orochimaru's been wondering about your sanity," Sasuke chuckled. "Is all of this really from Ino's hair?"

"Right, like you really give a damn about it, kid." I pushed past him to go down the kitchen. I was suddenly ravenous.

"He's curious. He wants to know why you're so absorbed in this." He walked along side me, continuing his harassment.

"He's got his own obsession with this information. He's been making copies of it every time he's in my quarters."

"You mean he can actually get in there?" Sasuke smirked. "I was informed that everyone who attempted was killed on the spot. It happened to some genin some time back."

"Korai Ureteika," I answered. "It was a dare to prove her merit with the others. She was supposed to come back with a single strand of hair." I chuckled at the thought.

"If the trip hadn't killed her, you would have."

"Certainly," was my only reply. I pushed open the kitchen shoji and stared at the room. "Are you hungry?"

"Do you really think I would trust anything you prepared?" he asked, eyes narrowed. His arms folded across his chest, and I could tell this wasn't worth fighting.

"What ever, kid. Just remember, you're the one who hates me. I have no ill feelings towards you. There are far better ways to kill you than to poison your food. If anything, I'd give you the honour of crafting a toxin just for your death."

"I'll remember that, the next time we do battle. What are you making?"

"The hell if I know. I'm fucking starved."

He rolled his eyes. "You swear like a sailor. I've met missing nin who swear less than you do."

"I bet you have, Sasuke." I pulled things down from pantries, out of the fridge, and began preparing whatever my hands touched. He stayed out of my way for the most part. By the time I was done, my nose told me I had prepared the dish my mother was known for: curry.

It was red, and just as fiery. A complex blend of herbs, spices, and curry mixed with what ever meat you desired stared back at me. It was a work of art when she made it, but merely edible when prepared by my hands. What can I say? They were made to destroy, not create.

"Eat it, punk. Careful, it'll set your insides on fire if you're not prepared for it." I set the platter down before him.

He broke his chopsticks apart. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stuff it in your face and find out."

I returned to the kitchen from the dining hall and loaded up a tray with servings for two. I didn't care too much for Hidan, but he wasn't going to starve under my watch. Keeping him out of Orochimaru's line of sight kept death out of mine.

"That's a lot of food, Tsuki," Sasuke observed.

"I haven't eaten in three days, Sasuke. I'm starving."

"I don't think you have room to eat all that by yourself." He arched an eyebrow. God, I hate when he does that. He looks too much like Orochimaru.

"It's for later, jackass," I sighed.

"You're going to eat it cold?"

"No, I'm not." I glared at him.

"I don't see how you're going to eat all that."

My anger and sarcasm were boiling over. "Fine, I'm pregnant. Shut up."

His eyes got _huge_! Mind you, I wasn't pregnant, that I knew of. I just told him the first reason that came to mind as to why I would eat for two. I walked out of the room leaving the awkward, exasperated, and heavy silence of disbelief hanging between us.

"You're back awfully soon, kid." Hidan still hadn't lost his smirk, though it had lessened to him lifting only one corner of his mouth into a lopsided smile.

"I brought food. I hope it burns your intestines."

"Holy hell, your mom used to make that shit." He took a platter off the tray and immediately started eating. "You have no idea how long I've been craving this."

I just stared at him. I wanted to scream, throw things, push him in front of Orochimaru, and gut him until his insides were on the floor, anything to torture him.

"Don't get your thong in a bunch, bitch. You look pissy."

I was raging. "You killed my mother, and all you can say for it is that you miss her cooking? You're a heartless bastard, Hidan."

"Blame her for that. She ripped it out when she married your father. Just think, bitch, you might have been my daughter."

I threw my empty tea cup right at his head. "I already am your daughter, jackass. You have the papers to prove it."

He looked at me after dodging the porcelain shards that rebounded off the wall. "You're my daughter in every way, except the one that counts. Your blood isn't mine, kid." There was genuine hurt in his eyes.

"You're still a ripe bastard, Hidan." I sat down at the table with my food. "Father wasn't the best in many ways, but he wasn't a monster. Were your situations reversed, he wouldn't have killed us."

"Don't bet your money on that, kid." Hidan shifted onto his side to look at me. "He was more of a heartless bastard than I will ever be, damn it. There are things you will never know about your own father. He took care to hide it from you, bitch."

"You're going to die before the night is over."

"I'm immortal, kid. Something your father was not." He rolled onto his back again.

"Is that why you hate me?" I asked.

He lifted his head off the pillow. "What, because he wasn't immortal?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, because he was my father."

"Might have something to do with it." He plopped back down. "Might have something to do with you being a total pain in the ass."

I pitched a chopstick at him. "I'm a pain in your ass? Who's decided to hide in whose room?" I demanded.

"I'm not hiding here."

"Why else would you be staying with me?"

He sighed. "The truth? Those papers scared the hell out of me. I was like, 'Holy fuck?' Kakuzu said nothing about them. They were just in your backpack."

"You went through my shit?" I asked.

"Are you fuckin stupid?" He sat up and looked at me. "Of course I went through your shit. You know, you should really carry condoms. Itachi doesn't ever keep them."

"Get out, Hidan." I pointed at the door.

"Fuck no! I'm staying here."

"You're not sleeping in my bed, damn it." I crossed my arms, finalizing my words. "I don't care if you sleep outside; you're not spending the night here."

"Just to piss you off, I think I will." He kicked my blanket down to the bottom of the bed and reclined again. "Care to join me?"

"Dude! You were involved with my mother!"

He laughed at me. "Kid, no. You don't know shit." He sighed. "I never did anything with your mother."

I held my head in my hands. "I am so confused. What the fuck happened, damn it? You admitted it, that you hated my father for taking her from you."

"My pride was wounded. Sure, there was a time when I thought I loved her. He took her from me. She was almost mine, but then she wasn't. I courted her, but then your father came and swept her away. To be honest, she was too old for me anyway."

"So, you just killed them both to salvage your wounded pride?" I arched my eyebrow at him, incredulous at his audacity.

"Yeah, that sums it up." He smirked proudly.

"You're a douche. I liked you better when I thought you did it because you loved her."

"Yeah, I don't care, slut. I'm a Jashinist. What about that don't you understand? Love is a sin: weakness. Jashin knows this, I know this, and I think even you know this. Love destroys people. If that is what I was going to do for pride, what would I have done for love?"

"You're fucked up, Hidan," I whispered. "You weren't hugged enough as a child, were you?"

"Fuck no. I don't need hugs. Never have. I don't need love."

"Right, that's why you want to share a bed with me, ass hole."

"There's a difference between love and lust kid. One of them isn't a mortal sin."

I glared at him. "You're not at the top of my to do list." I got up and gathered the dishes. "I don't even think you're on my to do list."

"Ouch, Brat, that hurts. Don't you think I'm sexy?"

I slid the shoji door on that one.

I ran into Kabuto as soon as I was outside my wing. He was waiting for me, having heard from Sasuke that I was active once again, and had dishes that would need returning. He seemed to have taken the few days of freedom from me rather well.

"Where have you been?" he demanded, looking me over with a keen eye, searching for a weakness, a flaw that would condemn me.

"In my chambers; didn't anyone tell you that?"

He intensified his glare. "Orochimaru has been waiting for you all day. He's disappointed that you would keep him waiting so long."

"Orochimaru knew where to find me," I answered.

Kabuto pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Tsuki, venturing into your wing is a hazard that he doesn't always want to take. Especially when you keep rewiring your security system."

"Do you doubt Orochimaru's ability to surpass my mind and security?"

A breath passed through his lips. "I do not. I am simply saying that sometimes it is easier to wait for you to come to us."

"I think you're full of shit, Kabuto."

He clicked his tongue three times. "Language. You don't want Lord Orochimaru to hear you speak like that, do you?"

"I don't really care, Kabuto."

"Go to him. He is growing impatient, and demands your presence."

Orochimaru looked at me with weary eyes. "Did you find everything you were looking for?"

I sighed. "Not even close. Without a second hair to compare it to, I can't identify who it came from."

"Is this really that important, Child?" he asked. "What significance does this hair bear to you?"

I didn't really know how to tell him, without telling him. "Have you ever felt that there was a reason to do something, without knowing what it was?"

"I always have reason to do what I do, Child. I always know what those reasons are. Are you telling me that compulsion is telling you to do this?"

"Perhaps it is simple compulsion. Maybe I'm just bored."

"I could always give you more to do, Child. There is no need for you to lock yourself in your room for three days out of mere boredom."

"Please, Sensei, don't take offence to this, but sitting behind a mountain of paperwork, deciphering experiment after experiment is not my idea of fun."

He chuckled softly, warmly. A smile touched his lips, softening his expression. For the shorted portion of the smallest second, I stared. I couldn't help it, really.

"I've known that for years, my Child. Actually, I have a mission for you."

"You're sending me on a mission; outside the village?" I couldn't believe my ears. "Sensei, are you serious?"

He chuckled softly. "Child, you act like you've been held prisoner for years."

"Sensei, you make weeks feel like forever." I relaxed into my chair. "What do you need me to do, and who will I be doing this with?"

"Oh, Child, you'll be working with me."


	23. Stage Twenty Three

Stage Twenty Three: Damn It…

I found myself throwing belongings into a spare backpack violently: a portion of the clothes that remained, some money, toiletries, small, seemingly worthless trinkets; things that would make me look like a vagabond. I would portray a woman drifting from country to country, place to place with her companion. We weren't Shinobi. We didn't have a home, and we did small jobs to fund our journey.

I packed several pouches full of weapons to be placed on my person in strategic places. Also, I had to be right handed for the time being. Orochimaru thinks that my being left handed makes it easier to point me out. So, for several weeks, I'm going to be slightly more awkward in handling things, and my writing will be rather messy.

I didn't know what I was going to do with Hidan. He was showering when I got back into the room, and he was taking a long one. Night was falling fast, and tomorrow morning, I would be gone. I didn't know how he would handle that. Hell, I didn't even know how I was going to handle the next eight hours!

"Where are you going in a hurry?" Hidan called from the bathroom doorway. I chanced a glance in his direction. It was a mistake. He stood there, dripping wet and clad only in a towel. His hair was a mess, and there was still steam in the bathroom, which was pouring into the bedroom from behind him.

"Oh, God; Hidan, please go put some clothes on!" I covered my eyes as I turned my head back towards my backpack.

"You hypocritical bitch; I didn't scream at you to get dressed when you got out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel." He folded his arms across a chiselled chest. That man could have been sculpted from marble by Jashin himself, just to tempt women, snaring them into a murderous trap.

"You walked in on me!" I shouted. "I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"Yeah, and you still don't, so quit your bitching." He crossed the room, dropped the towel, and sat on my bed. "You didn't answer my question."

"Get your naked ass off my bed," I growled.

"Too late, I already sat down. The damage is done. What can you do?" he asked, pulling the blanket around himself. It provided only moderate privacy.

"You're getting my bed wet, asshole," I pointed out.

He laughed. "Yeah, I am, but only on my side."

"Your side?" I asked. "Your side; no, you don't have a side. That is my bed, no matter which side you happen to be on. My bed, my pillows, my blankets, my sheets; and you're violating it!" I threw my backpack at him, hoping one of the glass trinkets would break open his skull.

I was satisfied when I heard a solid thud against his forehead. However, the fact that his expression hadn't changed quickly killed that feeling. He caught the bad before it had dropped to the bed below.

"If you won't tell me, your things might." He roughly opened the drawstrings and began pulling everything out.

I quickly made for the bag. I grabbed one of the straps when he grabbed my wrist.

"Let go of me, Hidan." I pulled my wrist away from him.

He held on tighter. "I don't think I will."

I tried pulling away once more, and he only pulled me closer. I felt cornered. All the things I could do wouldn't affect him. He likes pain. He won't die. I felt trapped, and he could see it. I felt more vulnerable knowing that the love for my mother isn't even there to stop him.

There was one thing I could try, without guaranteed success. My right hand slid into my kunai pouch situated very high on my thigh, out of his sight. I kept pulling on my left, making sure his attention was elsewhere. I felt the cold blade in my hand, and drew it to my side. Making sure the blade was concealed by my wrist and hand I brought it to his hand holding onto me with a death grip. My left was going numb.

His howl of pain was enough to tell me I hit my mark. His hand went limp; he no longer had control of it. I severed the tendon in his wrist. Blood was everywhere. I knew he wasn't going to die from it, but there was just so much.

I took my pack out of the range of his spray and left the room. "Heal yourself, Hidan," I muttered. I made the mental note to burn that set of sheets. It caused me to swear; they were my favourite.

LATER

Orochimaru was waiting for me at the Valley of the End. He had taken the liberty of disguising himself already. It was the same disguised form that Sasori had came to me in, only instead of wearing jounin garb he wore dark pants and a long sleeve cotton shirt. His hair was pulled back and high up, leaving strands to frame his younger looking face. He looked softer in this form, less menacing.

He pulled a picture from his pocket. "This is who you will be portraying. Make the change quickly." He tucked the photo away.

"If I don't study it longer, I will be more likely to make a mistake, Sensei."

"Do not call me Sensei on this mission, and likewise, I will not refer to you as I once had. I am no longer your sensei. You are no longer a Shinobi. Make the change."

I began to protest, but he held up a hand.

"If I wanted a perfect copy of her, I would have gotten a better photo, and given it to you last night." He glared at me. "Make the change."

I pulled the hand signs needed and felt my hair change, shooting back into my skull. My eyes felt duller, my vision less sharp. My ears heard less than they had. I felt clumsier, meaning I probably was. I never liked transforming for these reasons. The people I became had lesser senses than me.

Once I looked passably like the girl in the photo; enough to where if someone saw the picture, they'd draw a connection to me, Orochimaru handed me a kunai.

"What's this for?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Your hair; make it shorter."

I pulled my hair back at the base of my skull and ran the kunai through it. It now was extremely short in the back, and angled down to my shoulder in front. I looked into the water and evened it out, ignoring the green eyes staring at me from the reflection.

"Is this satisfactory?"

"Yes," he answered. "You will address me as Hakuja from now until the duration of our mission is over. You will be known as Yukihori from now on. I will simply address you as Yuki, or Yuki-chan. Likewise, you have permission to call me Haku, or Haku-kun. The closer our relation appears the better for us. We will share a room at inns, walk side by side, and in every way be equals. Avoid confrontation at all times, unless necessary for our survival or the success of this mission. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Haku, I understand." I turned to jump from the statue, but he caught me.

"We go the long way," he stated. "A fall like that would kill us, Yuki-chan." The shift in dispositions was alarmingly instantaneous. He was no longer Orochimaru. Haku had taken over, and will be with me… but for how long?"

"Where are we going, Haku?" I back tracked from the statue to the road. This was going to take forever, I just knew it. Where ever we were going would take weeks. That's just getting there. Then there was the mission itself.

"We are going to see an old friend, dear," he answered. A slight smile crossed his lips. "She's in Konohagakure."

So that's it then. We were going to Konoha to scope out the new Hokage. I knew a little about Tsunade from Orochimaru's tales. I'm sure she's changed since she was thirteen, but she was a rough spun spitfire. From what he told me, she and Jirayah never got along.

Konoha: it made sense. We were disguised because everyone would recognize us, either alone or together. It wouldn't matter. I was vivid in everyone's mind, simply because I stood out in a crowd. He was Orochimaru. Celebrity status didn't help on covert missions. Tsunade was the replacement of the man he had murdered. She was also his old team mate. No one would know he was there, and only one person would recognize me.

My heart fell. Neji would know. He could tell everyone, or just one person and the whole operation would be blown. Even if he didn't tell anyone, I would be just as devastated. He has done so much for me already. He would be so disappointed to see me with Orochimaru. After all he offered for me, and I return to the scene of the crime with the criminal who committed it.

The Inn

I managed to slip away from 'Haku,' if only for a moment. He was sorting through papers. To what those papers go to, I have no idea. It appears Orochimaru couldn't leave his work at home.

The inn we stopped at had a hot spring, albeit co-ed. I knew he would be in shortly, after his work was done. Sure as I had thought that, the shoji from the shower room opened.

"Well, Bitch, you're in a mess."

"You're not the person I expected to find here," I admitted. "Why are you following me, Hidan?"

"Sorry I ruined your date. What, I'm too old for you, but a fifty year old man?" He barked a laugh at my expense.

"It's a long story, and one I am unwilling to tell." I ducked under the water and emerged on the other side. Hidan was one step ahead of me.

He stood in front of me, everything in full view. "I'm not asking for your excuses, bitch."

"Damn it, Hidan." I got up and turned from him, walking through the water to the other side. "What _do_ you want?"

"How long do you think I've been here?" he asked. "Do you honestly think I'm clueless? I know what's he's doing."

"Oh, well, that's a giant relief. Glad you're in the loop then."

"Cut the crap, kid; it stinks." He sat down next to me, concealing his self once more. "What's his problem with you?"

I sighed. "I thought you said you were in the loop."

"I haven't been here that long, damn it." He tipped his head back and waved a hand at me. "Go on, kid."

"You had to ask. God, Hidan, you're nosy as hell. You'd have to know him to understand."

He shrugged. "Who says I don't?"

"You know how love is the greatest sin?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I told you that last night. You know, in bed?" He winked at me awkwardly.

"That's something you two have in common. Because of something someone said to spite both Orochimaru and myself, he thinks I've somehow fallen in love with him and is working to prove it."

Hidan just looked at me. "Well, do you?"

"That man is a monster. There's no way I could bring myself to love him. Besides, love isn't my forte."

"I could tell." He rotated his shoulders once. "You don't seem to be the steady dating type," he joked. His laugh rang loud around the spring.

"I'm glad my love life makes you laugh," I sneered.

He held up his hands in surrender. "I never said your love life was sucking, kid. I just said you didn't stick around. Word on the compound is that you're one hell of a lover."

My eyes widened. "Who the hell has been saying that?" I demanded.

"Hey, be chill, kid. It was merely a reference to the guy who blew a crater into the Akatsuki compound. Put him in line with Itachi, and Itachi said something about Sasuke, then there's the Orochimaru rumour you mentioned, and Deidara's obsessed with you having come and gone under his nose. How can rumours not come out about your love life?" He slid lower into the water. "To answer your question, it was Pein. Jack ass; he wants us to hate you for some reason."

I tucked my knees close to my chest. "That shouldn't be too hard for you to accomplish. I'm the offspring of the man who stole your woman, and the woman who double crossed you."

He grinned at me. "You just want to be murdered by my blade, don't you? Keep pushing, bitch."

"Why are you following me, Hidan?" I looked at him.

He looked back at me. "Simple: I have orders. It's best to make the boss man happy, no matter how badly it stinks. You're fuckin' valuable. He wants you, and he wants you alive, despite my 'hobbies and interests.'" He sighed, sinking even lower until the water was up to his ears. "I'm separating you from Orochimaru as soon as I get the chance. Well, sweet heart, I've got the chance. Orochimaru's gonna be busy for quite some time." He smiled at me. "I switched all his files around, and then shuffled them to hell. All the papers are in different folders, and all fucked up."

"So I guess this is it, then?" I stood up and walked towards the shower room doors.

"I can't hear you, wench," Hidan shouted at me. He watched me exit the hot spring, then slid completely under the water.


	24. Stage Twenty Four

Stage Twenty Four: Findings

Once again I found myself being whisked away by Hidan to the Akatsuki compound. He actually let me see where we were going, and once we got there, I realized the compound was more of a city of its own than a small subdivision of one. I had never been allowed to venture into its streets, thus I never got a feel for how big it actually was. It must have shown, as Hidan swore something about it being obnoxious and obvious to anyone who knew what they were looking for. Stuck out like a sore thumb, really.

Rejoining with the various members was not as tedious as expected. Sasori was still rather bruised around his ego, but time heals all wounds, and time wasn't something he was too short on. Kisame wasn't there to greet me, but Itachi told me he had good reason to miss my arrival. Kakuzu handed me my backpack of belongings to add to my other bag; the more luggage I had, the less likely I could take off without notice, I suppose. It wasn't planned on their part, but it worked out that way in the end.

Deidara had not returned from wherever it was that he was hiding. I had anxiously searched each face for the one I did not know, only to be disappointed in his absence. I had a serious bone to pick, once he returned. I knew then that patience would suit me in this endeavour. There was plenty I could do whilst I waited.

His royal Pein debriefed me, choosing to treat me informally as one of his own to command. Hidan sat with me through the entire hour, as he needed it just as well. He kept the conversation interesting, choosing to tell his version of things in a very colourful manor. There were references to things I was sure never happened, and he chose to overlook our various 'tender moments,' which was just as well. I didn't want the awkwardness of being seen as hovering in the limbo of two members' possession. Surely, fights would break out, dominance declared, and blood shed all around. I didn't know who would have fared worse, Itachi, or Hidan. Personally, I didn't want to find out. If what Hidan had told me was true about Pein pitting the members against one another, and ultimately against me, that titbit would be the leverage he needed to uproot me from my only safety here.

The days went by in a hazy manor, rain drizzling throughout. I wandered the streets, looking for Deidara's little portion of the city. I was never alone, though the silence was thick enough for me to feel as though my tailing shadow wasn't really there. It wasn't long that I learned where each member situated himself in the city, based on the reactions they gave me whenever I stumbled on their segment of the vast compound.

Once I got inside Deidara's home, I noticed immediately that he was impeccably neat. It almost drove me crazy. Everything had its own little place, every angle was exact, and every room was dustless, even though he had been gone for who knows how long; a week or two, if he never returned from Otogakure. It was nerve racking to me, piecing this into what little I know about him.

I took a deep breath. His cleanliness didn't matter. I was here for a reason, and I wasn't leaving until I had what I came for. The state of his living quarters might make things a tad more difficult for me, but surely he had to leave a single strand of hair somewhere.

There had to be some poetic justice to what happened that night. Kakuzu was babysitting me, and had decided to wait outside. He didn't care if I snuck out the back, and if he did, he did it half assed and sent a clone to guard the rear, which would just rather be doing something else. I was free to search the house for as long as I wanted. He wouldn't complain; he would just prefer if he could do his own thing. I wouldn't have been surprised if it were two clones guarding me in there.

The living room was void of all signs of life. It was as though he never set foot in that room, ever. I ransacked the place, pulling cushions from the couch, moving the bulkier furniture. I couldn't find one strand.

I moved on to his bathroom. I expected a little less clean, but it was even more so. Even the toilet was sparkling (yes, around the base, too). I couldn't find one strand of hair, not even in his brush. He kept the place stripped clean. There was nothing in the shower clog, or on the bathroom rugs.

I didn't even bother with the kitchen. I knew that if his living room and his bathroom were that clean, then there was no hope for me finding it in the kitchen. Dining room was passed by in the same manor. There was only one hope left for me.

I slid the shoji open to what had to be his bedroom. The bed was dishevelled, which I found odd. I didn't look too closely at it, no. I dropped to the floor and swiftly began searching along the baseboards and under the dresser for fallen and forgotten lengths of hair; to find nothing. This man was meticulous, I could tell. He was cunning, too, if he was this thorough with his cleaning.

I searched everything, until there was only one place left to look: his bed. It was the only hint of humanity in this shrine to the prowess of clean. It was lumpy, mashed up, and bunched in strange places. I scanned the bed for hairs, and it revealed a slender strand to me, which I tenderly picked up.

I would have turned and left then and there, except the strand was still attached to Deidara's head.

I then realized that what I mistook for dishevelled blankets and a very messy bed was actually his concealed form, lying in rest from the journey he embarked on a week ago. I also learned he tended to sleep entirely covered, head to toe, under the blankets. If I wasn't careful, I would wake him, and not knowing what kind of temperament he tended towards, I assumed the worst.

I was in a mental battle with myself. I needed the hair to be certain it was him in my chamber, but I also needed to avoid pissing him off long enough to do the work in peace. I needed to think the decision out, but time was just not on my side. He stirred in his sleep, causing me to release the strand before tension gathered.

He blinked, looking at me with a confused eye. "Can I help you, hmm?" His voice was tired, his hair was messy.

I decided to go all in with this. I put on my best poker face and answered, "I need your hair."

He sat up, the blankets pooling around his shirtless abdomen. His skin was pale in the moonlight. "I really don't think I heard you right. Did you say you wanted my hair?"

I rolled my eyes. He seemed to be a decent morning person, or rather, being woken up with a woman standing over him. I plucked a strand from his head and walked out.

"Hey; ah! That hurts!" he shouted. "What's your deal, hmm?" He followed me into the hallway, not bothering to put a shirt on.

"I told you, I needed your hair."

"What for?" he asked. "It's just hair." He rubbed the site where I plucked his hair out, relieving some of the pain; apparently he was tender headed.

"If it's just hair, then you won't mind me taking it."

"Hell yes, I mind," he answered. "That's my hair."

I sighed. "Stop whining about it. It's already out."

"What do you need it for?" He yawned during the last half of his sentence. Clearly he still needed his beauty rest.

"Dude, go back to sleep. You need it."

He looked at me. "And wake up to you clipping my toenails? I don't think so."

"I'm done with your DNA, but thank you for the offer. If I ever need toenails," I trailed off. A cringe followed the statement shortly after. I didn't ever want to go near his feet.

"So you don't need my hair, you need my DNA?" He sounded rather alarmed at this, stalling in his gait for a moment.

"Yes, so I can clone you. I need a personal slave."

He pulled on my wrist and stopped me. "That's just not funny. Don't even joke about that."

I chuckled. "Just go to sleep." I opened the door and stepped into the night.

"Well, I'm already up. Might as well report in." He looked up at the stars. "Un," he sighed. "I've been sleeping all day."

"What, didn't you sleep when you were out?" I asked.

"Don't worry about that. It's none of your business anyway," he snapped.

"What ever, I don't need to know."

Kakuzu caught up with us by then. "Good morning, princess," he chuckled. He looked at me. "Are you finished, Tsuki? I'm tired of babysitting you. This is Itachi's job."

Deidara looked at him, then at me. "Tsuki; ne?"

Kakuzu just stared at him. "Yeah, what other violet eyed red head do you know of, damn it?"

"Excuse me, I couldn't see her standing over me."

"That's your fault, Deidara."

I left them to argue amongst themselves. I needed to hospital wing's technology. I set off there. I figured that Kakuzu wouldn't mind being relieved early. _So that's Deidara, _I thought. _He's an interesting character. _

Aftermath

I ran several tests on his sample of the hair. All of the results matched the tests from the previous sample. The only thing I had to do was compare the genetic structure of the strands, and I would have my answer. Unfortunately, I left the hair with Orochimaru, as Hidan wouldn't allow me to go back for anything I left in the room.

"You're working rather early," Itachi stated. "What is this about?" He picked up a chart and examined it. "You're working on hair?"

"There was a single strand left in my bedroom. I don't know whose hair it is, but I want to know who was in my bedroom."

"Hidan and Kakuzu were in your bedroom," he stated.

"Yes, but neither of them have long, blond hair." I held up the sample I had.

He regarded the strand for a moment. "This is Deidara's hair."

"Yes, Itachi. That is Deidara's hair. I plucked it just last night. He wasn't all too happy about that, but it had to be done."

"So you're just cross referencing it, then?" he asked.

"Yes, I already ran all the tests I could when I was in Otogakure."

He looked around my workspace. "Are they here?" He lifted several papers, manoeuvring the class A mess.

"No, I didn't dare take them with me to Konohagakure."

He looked back at me. "You weren't going to Konoha. You were coming here."

I sighed. "No, Hidan waited until Orochimaru lifted my house arrest."

Itachi regarded the statement. "That was uncharacteristically kind of him. It creates less drama for you when you return."

I looked at him, incredulous. "You mean, if I return, right? They have their hold on me. I don't think Pein is going to relinquish that all too easily."

Itachi regarded me carefully. "There might be hope for you, yet." He looked out at the night. "Kisame returned from his mission last night. He came with a girl. She might be able to replace you in Pein's plan."

"I don't even know what that plan is," I admitted.

"None of us do, but he has to have something in mind." He looked out the window at the early morning dew.

"I don't think she could replace me. I'm one of a kind, Itachi. She won't hold the same power that I do, and doesn't captivate Pein in the same manor."

He sighed, confirming my statement. He filled the silence with small talk as I whisked the room clean of my work. I only needed to provide mundane answers, simple things like how Sasuke was adjusting, the weather in Oto, Kisame's mission, and other simple things. He told me of the Jinchuriki they were tracking, which ones they had already extracted, and which ones they were close to retrieving. I told him about Gaara's prolonged life, and that he has remained Kazekage throughout the entire ordeal. It seemed to impress him, the amount of trust the village would put into someone they once considered a monstrosity. I agreed with him.

When the files were tucked away under my arm, he escorted me back to his segment of the city to dispose of them. We then returned to the commons, where the majority of the members had gathered already.

My main reason was to see this girl that Kisame was ordered to bring in. I was curious as to who Pein would deem on the same level as my in terms of importance. My vanity was wounded, but only slightly. I was confident that I was still the superior being.

I saw Kisame first. He met my gaze in form of greeting, but didn't gesture or say anything to acknowledge me. This may have been because the others hadn't noticed me, and he didn't want to be the one to shift their attention; it may have also been because he didn't really want to form that close of an acquaintance with me. It really didn't matter.

I looked to the other members, as they were concealing her from my view out of their own morbid curiosity. Sasori was blankly standing there, not showing interest in her, but not looking away, either. Hidan was looking like a predator, and I felt mildly bad for her. Kakuzu was standing there, defensively with his arms folded across his chest. Zetsu looked incomprehensible to me. I could never distinguish his moods from his face alone. Half of him looked bored, and the other half looked angry. Itachi stood behind me, uninterested in her, playing with a strand of my hair. Kisame wasn't even near her. Deidara was lounging on one of the couches, not even interested in being near her.

He watched Kisame look at me, then followed his gaze to see me, and then looked over my shoulder at Itachi. I looked back to see Itachi staring right at him, a small battle of dominance being waged at my expense. Pein was no where to be seen, and the mysterious Konan was just as absent.

I then decided to approach the girl standing amidst the crowd. Deidara and Kisame's eyes followed me across the room, both simultaneously holding their breath in anticipation. One by one the attention of the members shifted from her to me, adding to the tension in the room. I saw Sasori snarl at me; Hidan smirk as he thought of what I might do. She was focused on Hidan, glaring at him in such a way while trying to talk to Kisame.

She turned around to face me, and I was shocked. Her Kirigakure forehead plate hit the light, her mahogany hair shone, and the faint, green eyes had discontentment in them. "I was wondering when I'd get to see you," she growled. "What, have you finally deemed me worthy of my presence?"

I turned to Kisame. "What the hell, fish? Why her?"

He looked at her, and looked at me, then looked at Hidan. He muttered something about orders and not wanting her to be here.

"Am I not good enough for you, kid?" she asked.

Kisame stepped before me. "Dunno if you know this, Tsuki, but she's your sister."


	25. Stage Twenty Five

Stage Twenty Five: Confrontation

I looked at the girl standing before me. "Yeah, I'll believe that when my mother walks out of her grave. She isn't my sister; she's a disgrace."

I heard a sigh from behind me. "What evidence do you have to support this, my man?" Deidara looked jaded, hazed from the confrontation that he was about to witness.

Hidan stepped forward. "I can confirm that this is your sister, Brat. She was the one who was there-"

"That was ten years ago, Hidan!" I shouted. "You don't know what she would look like now. How do you know this isn't just someone poised to be her? You said yourself Pein was doing everything he could to undo me. This is just another of his ploys."

"Tsuki, I understand-," she started to say.

"Don't even speak, wench. You're the girl who called me out on the streets of Suna. You didn't like me then. I don't trust you; you have no validity with me."

The saying, 'If looks could kill,' rang through the whole situation. She glared at me, I glared at her, Kisame glared at us both, and Hidan was glaring daggers. A war was about to be waged, dividing the entire Akatsuki. At the time, I was sure of it.

Itachi ran a hand through my hair once more. "There is a simple way we can confirm or deny any relation between these two," he said softly. He walked up to the girl before me. "A hair, if you please?"

She reached up to her hair and pulled a strand free. He had taken one of mine without me even knowing, and with both of ours, walked from the room.

Deidara interjected, "What is with all the hairs?" He glared at me. "How's my clone coming along?"

"Not now, Deidara," I growled. "I'll speak to you about that shortly."

She looked at me once more, having reverted to acknowledge Deidara. "What happens while we wait?"

"Cat fight," Hidan whispered hopefully.

I threw a kunai into his kneecap. "Remember what I told you, Hidan, about the swords? I'm still considering it."

He sighed and left the room behind Itachi. Clearly, he didn't want to relive that conversation when his pride was at risk.

I returned to the girl. "You are going to stay away from me. Confront me, and I will spill your insides on the ground. Have anyone else confront me, and I'll torture both of you. Do you understand?"

Hurt filled her eyes. "Look at what hatred has done to you," she whispered, before fleeing the room.

Confusion filled the room in her void. I felt like a raging monster. I had to remind myself of the girl in the market streets, poised to attack me, urging Kankuro to kill me because I was a danger. That wasn't my sister. Umi and I didn't get along, but we would never resort to killing each other.

Kisame approached. "That was a little overboard, kid." He looked at the closing door. "She can't defend herself against you. She only knows the basics of what is expected of a shinobi. She never graduated the academy."

I looked at him. "If she didn't graduate, she wouldn't be alive." I crossed my arms. "That's the protocol in your village. You have to fight to the death for the title of genin."

He looked me in the eye. "This is why she dropped out just before the final. She couldn't bring herself to kill someone after seeing her parents slaughtered. It would make her just as bad as the bastard who killed them."

"You fucker," Hidan swore as he walked back in. "I'm that bastard." He grabbed his scythe from its resting place against the wall and left again.

"Well, that would explain a lot," Kisame mumbled. "Regardless, she couldn't hurt you. You're all she has left."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You seem to know a lot about her, Kisame. Should I be concerned?"

"Look, Yahara's just some brat who ran around the village. She bothered me a lot. I wasn't used to being a role model, okay? Most kids were frightened of me. I didn't understand why she wasn't afraid until now."

"Yahara," I asked.

"That's the alias she went by: Yahara Usami, orphan of the Mist; just showed up one day. I know, because I had to check her files to make sure she wasn't a threat."

"And you didn't realize that the name she gave you was a fake?"

"Look, she had the file from Suna. Ten years is a long time to remember a name you used once. She asked me to give her a new name. I just forgot the old one, okay? It didn't matter to me. It happened all the time." He put a hand on my shoulder. "You're turning your back on the only family you have left." He followed Hidan out the door, as well.

I fell onto the couch, not caring to support my own weight. Deidara looked at me cautiously. 'Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not fucking okay." I glared at him. "My world is trying to come out from under me."

He held his palms up in a sign of surrender, appeasing my hostility. "Don't worry so much. So what if she's your sister or not, hmm; it doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything, Deidara." I leaned back against the couch. "It means that I'm no longer the last one left. I'm no longer alone. It means that everything I have done to make sure the Dentsu name is remembered is for nothing."

"Bull shit," he answered. "She merely survived when everything was lost. You thrived." He regarded me with a smile. "Un." He paused. "You're the one people will remember after both of you die. That's what you set out to do, hmm; be remembered?"

"I wanted to do more than remember," I answered. "I needed to prove I was stronger than they were."

"You've survived Hidan, so far," he stated.

"So has she," I replied.

He chucked. "You didn't hear her go off on him. She swore to avenge her parents' death by killing him, shredding him apart for the horrors that she endured at the expense of his sick pleasure. No, she won't survive Hidan."

"Hn," I cooed.

He sighed. "What did you do with that hair?"

"I have a better question, Deidara." I looked at him, meeting his gaze.

"Hmm?" His eyebrows rose.

"What were you doing in Otogakure; more specifically, my bedchambers?"

Kabuto

I was searching for Orochimaru in Konohagakure. I had disguised myself sufficiently, but if he saw me, he would know who I was. No doubt he would approach me, wondering what I was doing here, when I was told to remain hidden in the lair. The thought of his reaction to what I had to show him brought a smile to my face; Tsuki would pay for this mistake, oh, yes she would.

So far it has been two days, and I haven't seen him. This did not worry me. I had travelled in the traditional Shinobi manor, as I was a Sand shinobi. He was merely walking, enduring the company of Tsuki, which couldn't be pleasant at all. I would rather cut off all my fingers and toes at each joint that endure a trip with her for company, my only companion. Which is why he asked me to stay home, I'm sure.

I saw him enter Konohagakure a day later. He was foolishly disguised as the same Jounin from the Chunin exams, but then again, I don't think anyone really put those two faces together. I searched for the girl who seemed to be accompanying him, but I couldn't tell if there was one. He walked into a crowd immediately. I never saw who Tsuki transformed into, so there was no hope. I would just have to follow him, and if she was with him, I would know her then.

It was nightfall when I caught him alone. He entered down an ally behind the inn he was lodged at alone; I assumed she was still inside. He instantly recognized me, as I knew he would.

He turned and looked at me. "Matsura, how nice of you to join me."

I feigned a look of startled surprise. "Oh yes, how nice it is to bump into you. I wasn't expecting to see you here at all."

He smiled in astonishment. "Heh, nor did I." He gestured toward the doorway. "Would you care to join me inside? I have a feeling there is information to share."

"I would enjoy that, yes," I answered, and followed him into the golden lantern light of the Inn.

Inside

"What are you doing here, Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked with vehement anger. "I ordered you to remain behind."

"There is something I caught on the security cameras that I thought you should see, sir. I would not have come if it were not of utmost importance."

"Well, what is it, Kabuto? Do not keep me waiting."

I dug around in a pocket for the stills of the footage captured. "Our security has been breeched, sir, and Tsuki is to blame." I handed him the pictures, and he accepted them.

I watched his expression change from confusion to astonishment to horror and finally to fury. Each picture depicted one of three men, each entering her wing of the lair, surviving her traps, and emerging unscathed. Never did they enter together, and they were spaced within one week. There was one man who was clearly seen with her, conversing idly as though they were long time friends.

"Do you recognise them, my Lord?" I asked, smirking to myself. This was it, he was finally going to kill her for her insolence. There was no way he could ignore this. She was turning tricks in her bedroom, and with his enemy, all under his nose.

"All except for this one," he answered, holding up the photo of the blond male.

"Perhaps I can help you identify him, sir. That is Deidara. He hails from Iwagakure, and joined the Akatsuki after you left. He is now Sasori's partner. He's roughly nineteen years old, and was a for hire terrorist bomber before joining the organization."

"He's certainly her type, of the three, he's the one she's confiding in. She wouldn't dare confront Hidan. He killed her parents and sister. Kakuzu wouldn't allow her to rely on him."

"How do we confront this?" I asked.

"We wait for her to return, and surely, one of them will follow."

My eyes widened. "You mean, she left again?"

Orochimaru held up the photo of Hidan. "If this man was in her rooms, then she didn't just run away. He took her from us."

I pulled the picture of them talking rather calmly from his hand. "Then how do you explain this, my Lord? It seems conspiracy was built behind our backs."

"She wouldn't go with him."

"How do you know, sir?" I asked.

"Because he was the one who kidnapped her the first time. When they need someone to force her to comply, it's him. If they wanted her to go freely, they would have sent someone else."

"They would have sent Deidara."

"So it would seem." He closed his eyes out of exasperation. "So, I can conclude that she didn't leave of her own free will."

"Yes, Orochimaru sama. We wait."

Akatsuki

Deidara sighed. "The reason why I was there is simple," he replied. "I was curious."

I lowered my gaze. "What were you curious about?"

"Yeah, when you were here last, I was gone. I was on a mission tracking my Jinchuriki."

"Gaara," I interjected.

He just looked at me. "Okay, you know who he is. Anyway, when I came back, the entire Akatsuki was out of sorts, and when I asked people what happened, they said it was you. I wondered what kind of girl could uproot all order among some of the most hardened of criminals."

"Hidan mentioned that you were obsessive about it," I commented.

He rolled his eye. "I wouldn't say obsessive."

"Deidara, you broke into my bedroom." I looked at him sceptically, enhancing my point. "You can't tell me that wasn't a little obsessive."

"Over the top," he corrected, "I am never obsessive."

"Just over the top?" I asked.

He chucked, "Always."

I think he may have winked, but I couldn't see his other eye. It was frustrating, really. I couldn't see half his face, which meant I could only see half of his expressions. The tone of his voice is what led me to believe it, so I assumed that was what it was. I got rather irritated because of it.

"Wouldn't you want to know?" he asked.

"I would have waited," I honestly answered. "I wouldn't have see it as worth my time." I slouched a little lower on the sofa.

He shook his head, causing his hair to cascade around his face, lending a glimpse of something mechanical over his left eye. "You don't understand, do you?" he asked. It was a simple question, and he paused to allow me to consider it. "You escaped us. That is a rare miracle in itself."

"I had help," I reminded him.

"Sure, sure; but it was still a miracle you didn't get both parties killed. You got out, proving you could best us. It was not guaranteed that you would return. It wasn't even likely. With Itachi and Kisame leaving on their own, as well as the parting of Kakuzu and Hidan, it wouldn't be suspicious for me to wander off alone, either. No one knew what the guys were supposed to be doing. No one would know that I wasn't assigned a mission, either."

"So you felt your only chance would be to find me?" I asked.

"No, not find you," he clarified. "Just find out as much about you as I could. I never expected you to know. I knew you were perceptive. I used Kakuzu's scent to cover mine, but one hair got away."

"Kakuzu did his best to hide his scent. Yours was the most prominent."

"And then there was that hair," he muttered. "I got careless. I don't even leave hairs in my own house."

"You are the most meticulously clean person I have ever come across," I groaned.

"Always over the top," he reminded me.


	26. Stage Twenty Six

Stage Twenty Six: Awkward…

I spent my nights curled up in Itachi's bed; sometimes I slept. Other times, I couldn't bring myself to do it. He confirmed that the girl really was Umi, who went by Yahara now. It kind of explained why she didn't look to happy to see me in Suna. She had spent her life avoiding death, whereas I have spent mine creating it.

That particular night he wasn't there. He was assigned a mission with Kisame, and had to leave me behind at the mercy of the other members. I wasn't too worried about me; it was Yahara who would take the worst of it. Hidan wasn't really a threat anymore, and Sasori… well, he was harmless.

There was a knock at the shoji that startled me out of my reverie. I pushed myself off the bed and walked to the door. It slid open silently save for the whoosh of the air it moved.

I was startled to see Deidara standing before the door. He cautiously looked up at me. "You're still dressed," he pointed out.

"What do you want?" I demanded. "I don't really care much for small talk.

"I have orders to watch over you from Leader-sama. Itachi is away, and he thinks you can not be trusted alone."

I shifted weight to the other foot. "He is right to think that. I wouldn't stay much longer if left alone. Why did he send you?"

He regarded the question for a moment, choosing the best way to answer it. "I volunteered," was his reply.

I was startled, to say the least. No one else in the Akatsuki would volunteer to be responsible for me once Itachi had laid claim to me. Kisame was gone; otherwise he would have done it out of respect, so it was a surprise to know that Deidara chose to, instead of being forced.

"Consider it payback for the hair."

"Payback," I inquired. "Now, tell me, how is this payback?"

"I'm the one keeping you here against your will."

"And you think you can stop me?" I asked.

"Un," he smirked at me, "though, I'd rather you stay because you enjoy it."

I sighed. "Not only are you obsessive, you're also arrogant."

"We've been over this," he stated. "I'm not obsessive."

"Right; just over the top," I finished.

"Un," he sighed.

He linked his arm through mine tightly, and escorted me away from Itachi's home after leaving a note that stated my situation of being 'entertained,' by Deidara. That being left on the kitchen table, we left together into the night to pass through the streets at no more than a slow walk.

He kept the conversation light and easy, talking to me about past assignments and his home, and in turn, asking about my experiences. The night was warm, the stars were shining bright enough for us to see our way, and the streets were empty. He had begun to express his views on art and how they differed from his partner when we arrived at his front door. He unlocked it swiftly and invited me inside.

"Hmm," he sighed, "Welcome home, Tsuki."

I stepped inside and heard him shut the door behind us. Lights flickered on, illuminating the entry way that I had only seen in darkness. He kept the style traditional Japanese simplicity. It was clean and elegant.

I felt his hand on my shoulder; a touch that was feather light and lasted only the tiniest fraction of a moment. It was gone before I could even confirm that it was there. He shed his cloak as he walked past me, once more exposing his gracefully lean build. He looked back at me as he sauntered to a halt. "Well, are you just going to stand there, hmm?"

"Where exactly do you want me to go?" I shrugged, emphasizing my point.

"He blinked at me for a moment. "I know that sleeping with Itachi is a conditional thing, so I was going to show you to your room. We do have spare bedrooms, you know that, right?" He arched his eyebrow. "Or, if you'd rather, you can stay with me." A smile broadened upon his face, lighting his features. "I don't mind, either way. I'm tired, and I imagine you are as well."

"I guess no one's told you yet. I don't really sleep much."

He shrugged. "You were sleeping the other night when I had to run something over to Itachi."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What did you bring to him?"

He turned back to the hallway, guiding me into the living room. "His mission papers, Orders for where he was going and what he would be doing with Kisame."

"Why couldn't Kisame take the papers?"

"Again, it was something I volunteered for," he answered, followed by a sigh. He sat down on the sofa, patting the cushion next to him.

"You seem to do that a lot." I complied and sat with him, leaning against the padded back.

"Well, yeah," he answered, resting his leg on his knee. "I'm curious. Your relationship with him is a strange one, ne? He has laid claim to you, but doesn't keep you around if you don't want to be here, he doesn't show possessiveness around the others, and he doesn't seem to have any romantic interest in you at all. You sleep beside him, yet there's nothing there. I want to know what's up."

"That really isn't for you to know," I stated, "but if you must, then I should tell you that it is a façade. Itachi isn't a lover, as much as everyone is led to believe."

"I didn't think so," Deidara answered with reverence. "Do you mind telling me about the relationship? My man doesn't just take to women for no reason. It's unlike him."

"It's-" I began, then stopped. "I guess we're-" I started again.

His eyes brightened in anticipation. "Hmm?" he hummed, urging me to go forth.

"I suppose he's like an older brother," I sighed. "I have known him, I guess, for around ten years. He took care of me, after my parents were killed. I like to think that I was closer to him than Sasuke ever was, but that goes a little too far. I couldn't fathom their relationship. I don't remember most of what happened back then."

"Un," he sighed, mulling everything over. "Did he tell you all this?"

"I know what you're thinking, and I had the same thoughts, too. He did tell me all of this, but was moment when I remembered what he had said, and so much more. It was triggered by a sound that had nothing to do with what he told me."

"Interesting," he muttered. "So there's nothing other than a family-esque bond?"

"Yes," I answered, looking down.

"Then why did you survive the Uchiha massacre?" he asked, truly curious. "He killed his own mother…" His voice trailed off into silence.

"I left him before the massacre. I was seduced by Orochimaru's lies, promised the world, and the chance to prove myself."

He nodded and reclined back. "That's an interesting tale. Why lie about it, hn?"

"It keeps the others at an arm's length."

"Are you afraid of us?" he asked.

"No, I'm not afraid of you. I was brought up by a man of equal notoriety, if not greater. It's just not something I want to deal with."

"May I ask another personal question?" he asked.

The askance of permission took me off guard. "If you want; I might not answer."

"Is there a special someone in your life?"

"The hell," I muttered. "Why do you want to know that?"

"Does there have to be a reason," he answered.

"Do you have someone special in _your _life?" I asked.

"Ne?" he muttered. "Tsuki, I'm a missing ninja, and an S ranked criminal. There isn't exactly a vast market out there. So, no, I do not."

"You say that like your disappointed."

"You never answered my question." He looked at me. "So tell me, hmm?"

I sighed. He answered with honestly. I was obligated to return the favour. The only person I could think of was Gaara, and he dismissed that when I saw him last. "No, I don't. Nor do I think I will any time soon."

He shifted to look at me. "Why not," he asked.

"I was taught from a young age that love is weakness. Going against that goes against something deep. On top of that, I have lost everyone I have ever loved to death, except for a sister I don't even know anymore and Itachi, who I don't even remember."

"I can understand that, un. I don't agree, but I understand. It's getting late, Tsuki. I'll take you to your room." He stood up before extending a hand to help me to my feet. I accepted his hand and rose, and felt lips press a kiss to my palm.

I pulled my hand away quickly, being startled by the foreign sensation. I looked at him, curious and asking for an explanation. He held up his hand to me, and then turned it over so I could see his palm. Surely, there was a mouth situated there.

"They infuse my chakura with clay, allowing me to create explosive sculptures." He took one of my hands in both of his, allowing me to feel, but the sensation that they were there was no more. "They do what they want sometimes. I didn't intend to kiss you."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," I answered.

"I can't expect you to." He gently smiled, softening his words. "Shall I show you to your room?"

I nodded slowly, stepping forward, following him to the spare bedroom. He slid the door open and gestured me in. "If it is not to your liking, it can be personalized. I have no other use for it. This is your room, and where you will stay when you're with me. Make yourself at home."

I stepped past him and into the side bedroom. It was smaller than his own, yet still roomy enough for me to be comfortable. There was a full bed, a night side table, a desk, and a chair. Beyond that, it was barren.

"Thank you, Deidara. When I can, I'll be sure to make this space my own."

A bright smile lit up his entire face before he departed after saying good night. I then turned to the bed, where I collapsed face down into its fluffy duvets and cool feather pillows.

I tried to resume my thoughts from Itachi's room, to no avail. I couldn't shake that evening's conversation from my mind. Something perplexed me about Deidara's demeanour. His intent was not known to me, and for some reason, that got under my skin.

Morning

My night was restless and long. Having nothing to occupy myself with inside Deidara's home, I resorted to my own thoughts, which are not forthcoming. When daylight filtered in through the window above the bed, I roused myself and wandered out into the rest of the house.

I found Deidara already awake at the kitchen table. His back was to the entry way, where I stood. I could hear the scratching of a pen on paper. He was hunched over, concentrating on what ever it was that he was writing.

"Good morning," I greeted.

He stiffened in his posture, straightening up abruptly. "Ohayou," he answered. He then whisked the scrolls into his pockets, hiding them from my sight. "Come and sit with me."

I strode to the table and took the place beside him. "You're working pretty early," I observed.

He yawned. "Un; I don't really sleep that much. I'm awake before the sun rises most days." He looked at me. "How was your night?" he inquired.

"Long, but fair," I answered. "A night to my own thoughts makes for a restless night, but overall, I cannot complain. The bed was comfortable."

"Good to know that," he smiled. "Is there anything I can do to ease your restlessness?"

I sighed. "Not really," I answered. "It's just an embedded thing. I just don't sleep when I'm alone."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't spend your nights alone," he suggested.

I smiled at him mischievously. "It doesn't work that way. I have to really trust the person in order to sleep."

"Trust them with what?" he asked. Curiosity shone in his eyes, lending me to believe he really did want to help me, not just get me into his bed. "Hmm?"

"My life," I replied. "I have to know that I'm not going to wake up to someone standing over me, preparing to slaughter me in my sleep."

"With your senses, you'd know as soon as they crossed the threshold into the house. Why do you need someone to protect you, if you're the most lethal person I have met outside this organization?"

"That's simple to answer, Deidara. There are those more lethal than I inside this organization. It's a security problem for me. I watched my parents die in the dead of night, woken from their sleep to an assailant standing before them. I was merely six years old. A fear like that doesn't just go away."

"I can't expect it to," he stated. "I want you to know that you are safe here. I won't hurt you, and I won't let anyone else come near you."

It was so hard for me to accept that from him. I have only ever trusted Itachi and Gaara with my unconscious well being willingly. There were two people out of a sea of others in which I could put my trust. "Deidara," I paused. "I don't know what to say. I-"

He took my hand in his. "Then don't say anything. You're in good hands."

"Oh yes," I mocked, "I am in good hands; hands that think for themselves and kiss girls on their own."

He blushed mildly. "Well, if you weren't so damn charming," he mumbled. "They wouldn't like you."

I took my hand back from him. "Charming," I muttered. "Is there a hot spring around here?"

He looked at me, eyebrow raised. "We're in the Land of Rivers. How can there not be a hot spring close by?"

"Well, as you are my escort," I smirked. "Would you mind taking me there after breakfast?"

His eyes widened. "Of course; though, I did forget about breakfast. Ne, what sounds good?"


	27. Stage Twenty Seven

_A/N: as with stage fourteen, this chapter in the story isn't really important to the plotline. Everything will be explained within the next chapter, so you won't miss anything. I apologize for the redundancy among the readers who will read this chapter, but I respect the right of those to jump over the inappropriate segments of my story. Thank you for you time._

Stage 27: Steamy

After a breakfast of tamagoyaki and miso soup, we left the compound for the hot spring. He wasn't kidding; it was only a fifteen minute walk away from his front door. The walk was quiet enough between us; we did all of our talking at the table. When we approached, I could already smell the steam, feel the humidity, and relax.

The Akatsuki had built a facility around the spring to ensure privacy from who knows what. He led me to what he calls 'Konan's side' of the bath house before venturing into the other half. The female portion was considerably smaller than the men's, but it was understandable.

I undressed and deposited my clothing in one of the baskets haphazardly. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself before walking over to the vanity. I pulled a comb of the table (it was presumably Konan's, but I didn't care; she hated me anyway) and tucked my hair out of the way of the water.

Grabbing another towel on the way out, I stepped outside to see Deidara already in the water, his hair completely tied back in a high pony tail. His back was to me, head tilted back slightly, hair flowing in the water. There was a towel crumpled on the ground behind him, discarded and forgotten.

I stepped into the water gingerly, toying with the steam. He looked over at me as the water rippled, wet hair sticking to his right shoulder. I remember noticing how sparkling his eyes were in that moment, and wondering why he always hid behind his hair. They were a pure, cerulean colour that I'd never seen before.

He turned away from me just before I dropped my own towel to rest beside his. Sinking down into the steaming liquid, I let out a sigh of relief. I submerged myself up to my shoulders, hiding myself within the steam.

"You can look now," I whispered. "You can't see anything."

He chuckled. "What a shame. A worthy sight, I'm sure." He spread his arms out across the rocks lining the spring and leaned back once more.

I smiled lightly at his comment, and then leaned forward on my knees. The tension in my muscles seemed to ease in the hot water. He, too, seemed relaxed.

He opened one eye slightly, merely peeking in my direction. "What are you looking at, ne?"

I smirked devilishly before splashing hot water at him, spraying his face. He ducked away to avoid getting the scalding liquid in his eyes before returning fire at me. I quickly swam away from Deidara, shoving water back at him.

He followed me, throwing water in my direction, creating rippling little waves around his abdomen. His skin was red where the water had touched him, leaving a distinct line across his taut stomach. It was tempting to stare at.

I quickly realized that I was still nude for him to consume with his eyes and sat down on a rock, back to the rest of the spring. I felt him sit beside me, back to the rock, reclining once more. "Hmm," he groaned. "This is nice, don't you think?"

I tossed more water at him before shifting my weight off the rock. He caught my by the wrist lightly. I turned back to look at him, watching him scoop water into his free hand and lift it to my back. It trickled down slowly. I felt his finger brush down my spine, following the path of the water trails. "Must you tease me?" he whispered into my ear.

Goosebumps rose along my exposed skin. "I simply answered your question, Deidara-san." I relaxed back against the rock.

His hand rested on my shoulder at the base of my neck. "There's no need to be formal, Tsuki. We're supposed to be here to relax, remember?" His voice had grown rough and hoarse.

"While your hand is just resting there, massage my neck for me. I'm a little tense." I shifted under his touch slightly, feeling a couple knots under his hand.

He squeezed my shoulders gently. "Is there a please somewhere in there, hmm?"

"Please, Deidara-kun?" I asked, sarcastically sweet.

He sighed before moving behind me. His chest rested against my back, skin on skin. He was warm, wet, and tantalizing. "You're a fucking tease," he muttered under his breath. He began working on the muscles in my neck, shoulders, and upper back. Every now and then I felt his teeth sinking into my skin lightly, or a tongue lap up a droplet of water.

"That feels amazing," I sighed. I leaned forward against the edge rocks, resting on my folded forearms.

"I'm glad you think so," he breathed in my ear. He put pressure on my shoulder until it popped. I let out a cry in surprise at the initial shock of sharp pain, and then relaxed when the tension eased and my muscles relaxed. "Easy, Tsuki," he assured me. "A little pain makes it worthwhile."

I chuckled at that. He pressed into my back, allowing my spine to release some pressure as well. "Where did you learn to massage?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm just good with my hands."

"I bet you are," I answered.

"You could find out, if you wanted," he offered. "I wouldn't mind indulging your curiosity." His hands dipped down and brought water over my shoulders, further relaxing the muscles. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips against my neck.

He took my hand and turned me to face him. I tensed up as his gaze hit me. His eyes reflected in my own, his sight never drifting anywhere else. Again, I was taken with the oceanic colour. They reflected the violet in my eyes flawlessly, as though they were cut diamonds, shining in low light.

With a hand under my chin, he lifted my lips to his. "Relax, you're safe with me. I won't hurt you, I promise," he whispered. He kissed me once more, pressing against my lips in askance for a little more.

He pulled away when I didn't react. "Tsuki, do you trust me?"

"Not entirely," I answered. "I really have no reason to."

"You have no reason not to, yeah?" His eyebrows rose.

"I suppose, but then again, we're in a hot spring and you're kissing me."

"You're the one who asked me to massage you."

"You're the one who kept calling me a tease." I stuck my tongue out.

He lightly and gently bit my tongue, running his own along the length. "You are a fucking tease," he answered. His voice was nothing more than a growl. His eyes were glazed over with lust. "Don't tell anyone, but I secretly love it." He pressed his mouth against mine once more, tongues clashing in a twisted dance.

With his hands clutched behind my back, he shifted to sit down on the rocks, pulling me into his lap. He never broke the kiss, shifting effortlessly in the water. Needless to say, I felt him, and _all_ of him. He was rock hard under me, and for some reason, I could not keep myself from reacting to it.

I remember pulling his hair out of its ties, watching it cascade around his shoulders like a halo. I pushed his bangs out of his face. He took my hand and pressed a kiss to it, sucking on my centre finger. That sent electricity straight through me. A small sigh escaped me unguarded.

He shoved his tongue inside my mouth with wanton need and urgency, feeding on my essence. He pulled my hips further toward his body, bringing me closer to his shaft, grinding against his most sensitive part. He groaned in my mouth softly, deliciously. He then lifted me off of him, holding me several inches off his lap. He shifted me slightly before I felt his pressure against me.

He looked at me for a moment, the shortest of moments, regarding my expression. He would later tell me that it was to give me a chance to say no, but nothing was ever said. He just pushed me down onto him, ecstasy taking hold on his face, wiping all other expressions and thoughts from his being. He bucked his hips several times, each thrust bringing him deeper, pulling me closer, and bringing us together. Once satisfied that I was thoroughly filled, he stopped and just held me there.

It felt amazing, sitting on him like that. His arms were wrapped around me, the water was warm, and I felt so full of him, almost too full. Every so often he would shift his weight, which would also force small movement in his manhood, stimulating my senses.

He smiled at me. "You know Itachi is going to kill me, un?" Somehow, he made it sound like I seduced him. "Gnah," he gasped as I shifted. "It's worth it, though."

"And we aren't even moving," I commented. I leaned against his chest, laying against him, completely relaxed.

He flexed inside of me, pressing against my inner walls. "I don't plan to," he sighed. "Right now, this is good enough for me."

"Right now?" I asked. I played with his hair, waiting for his response.

"Eventually, I will demand friction. I'll need to move, to find release." To emphasize his point, he pulled out quickly, then rammed back inside me. "For now, I just want to sit here." The sudden movement made me shout, nearly scream in surprise. He groaned in response to my abrupt cry. His arms tightened around me. "You're so tight," he whispered. His lips met mine; he softly caressed my skin. He looked into my eyes and stated firmly, "You're going to me mine, Tsuki."

I rolled my eyes. "You're already inside me. What more do you want?"

"To have you," he answered. "I want you to be undeniably mine. No one else can lay claim to you. Itachi won't be able to take you away from me. You'll be mine to hold, to bang," he pulled out and pushed in once more, "and to love."

"You're obsessive," I sighed.

"Not obsessive, just over the top," he reminded me. He then started to rock slowly, allowing a continuous motion to build up momentum between us. Each thrust got deeper, marginally. He built up speed and force even slower, but it was steady. It wasn't long before we were out of breath and I was uttering soft noises in his ear. He threw his head back, and I kissed and nibbled his throat. He let out a guttural moan that somewhat resembled my name.

I rose off his throbbing penis, cutting him off cold. His head abruptly snapped to glare at me before he rose to his feet (entire cock exposed in the shallows; I could fully appreciate its sheer size), followed me, and pinned me to the rocks. He penetrated me from behind once more, filling up my most tender cavity.

The wet smacking sound of our bodies filled the space well. My moans and his panting accompanied it, making a primal symphony out of our act of random debauchery. He let down my hair before fisting his hand in it, pulling me into an arch, putting pressure on his enlarged penis.

"Good god, this feels so wonderful," he breathed.

I tightened my muscles around him and he fully moaned.

"You're going to send me over the edge, Tsuki."

I did it again, despite his warnings, over and over again. He thrust faster and faster, sometimes slowing abruptly to a maddening, painstaking pace for contrast. He would pull almost entirely out of me before slamming back into me as hard and as fast as he could. He kept hitting the back of me, which sometimes hurt, but the cries of pain fed his lust further.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he would say, "but it feels so damn good to hear you cry out in pain, knowing that I did that to you. I can't explain it."

I leaned my hips forward once more, forcing him out of me. I could hear his moan of disappointment. "No, Tsuki, come back," he pleaded. "I'm not done with you."

I waded through the water to where he stood, not far from the rocky edge. I lifted one leg over his hip, giving him access to what he desired most. He slid inside of me once more before hooking his arms under both my knees and lifting me onto him. He had full control; I was helpless in this position. He combined thrusting into me and bringing me down on him skilfully. His throaty groans intoxicated my mind.

"I'm going to come soon, Tsuki. You feel so amazing…" He drifted off and I felt his penile muscles spasm. He jerked faster; in, then out before doing it all over again.

He pulled out suddenly, spilling into the water below us. He buried his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. "Hn," he sighed. He lowered me back into the water, where the warm liquid melted me into it.

"Deidara," I whispered.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Hush," he whispered. "Go change, and we'll head back. I'm suddenly very tired, and I imagine you are as well."


	28. Stage Twenty Eight

Stage Twenty Eight: Bits of Fluff

I woke up sometime mid afternoon in my own bed, feeling rather confused. That morning's activities left me wondering about Deidara. I felt great; sated, rested, and mellow, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking, 'Why Deidara?' Why did it have to be him? It wouldn't have been anyone else; at least, no one in the Akatsuki.

It made sense to me, though. Not the sex, but his actions leading up to that: going through my bedroom, volunteering to take Itachi his mission details and watch over me, or asking if I had someone special in my life. For him, what we did was a time bomb waiting to happen, and the sooner, the better. Maybe now that it was over, he'd revert to becoming just as jaded toward me as the rest of the members. One could only hope, right?

I walked into the living room to be greeted with a very cheerful yet sarcastic remark. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." He was sitting on the sofa, sprawled out in a lazy mess, bed head and all.

I threw a cushion at him. "We will never speak of that, ever." I glared in his general direction.

He chuckled. "But I wanted to rub it in Itachi's face." He sighed. "You're right. He'd probably kill me for it, anyway." He turned to look away from me. "You regret it already, hmm?" The joking laughter was gone from his voice, replaced by genuine hurt.

I sat next to him and propped myself up on my elbows. He ran his hand along my back, rubbing lightly on my skin. "No, I don't regret it. I just don't want the others to know, especially not Itachi."

"Why are you afraid of him?" he asked. "What can he do? You already said there was nothing between you two. You've done nothing wrong."

"He sees it as his job to protect me from all of you."

Deidara placed a hand under my chin and pulled me to look at him. "Did I hurt you at all?"

I shook my head in denial. He didn't hurt me in any way that couldn't be dealt with. Sure, I could have been a little less sore at the time, but that was circumstantial.

"Then what does he have to protect you from, hmm? I told you, you're safe with me. If you didn't agree, you wouldn't have allowed that, and you certainly wouldn't have nodded off afterward."

"He's just so possessive," I mumbled.

Deidara wrapped his arms around me. "No, he's just vain. He doesn't want to think you'd prefer anyone else over him."

I leaned against his chest for a moment, mentally agreeing with his words. Itachi's pride is easily wounded, especially if someone else approaches me.

"I think he loves you in more ways than you know," Deidara stated. "It wouldn't be that hard."

"Why is that?" I asked.

He took my face in his hands, looking down directly into my eyes. "Why would it?" he whispered softly. His lips brushed against mine softly without lingering, moving away as soon as we touched. "You're so easy to want." His lips covered mine fully.

"You're delusional," I sneered.

"You're so damn kissable," he retaliated.

I shoved him away from me. "Damn it, Deidara, you're obnoxious."

He caught my wrist and pulled me back. "And yet, you're so willing." He flipped me under him onto the couch and his mouth crashed to mine.

Minor Intermission

An hour and a half later, his couch was disassembled and cushions littered the floor. We had pulled our clothing from the dishevelled heap and dressed each other. As he slid my tank top over my mesh undershirt, a satisfied smile came over him.

"What?" I asked him, self conscious.

He touched a tender spot just above my hip where a blush of colour had risen. "I have marked you as mine," he softly answered. It was visible through the mesh, and was unmistakably a hicky. You could make out a bite mark or two. He then pulled his hair back from his neck. "Just as you have marked me as yours," he whispered. The hicky I left on him was smaller, though noticeably more red. "I told you, didn't I, that you would be mine?" He tucked my hair behind my ear and kissed me softly.

"I don't think you will," I challenged.

"You dare to bet against me, hn?" he smirked. "No worries; you're already mine. I don't think I'll give you back to Itachi unless I leave. I don't want to come back from a mission to find that you're gone."

"What would you do if you did?" I asked with my eyebrow furrowed.

"Track you down, dominate you wherever you happen to be, and then bring you back home with me. You'd find yourself tied to the bed, naked of course, and I'd feed you twice a day."

"Absolutely kinky," I stated flatly.

His brows furrowed. "You don't think I'm serious, do you?" His arms encircled me. "I'd come find you, sure, but I wouldn't drag you back here."

"Thank you, Deidara. That means a lot to me. You know Pein would have you followed, though, don't you?" I held him around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

"They really can't follow me if I don't want them to," he told me. "I have my ways to get around them." He took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. He pressed his lips to my fingers.

"Guess what, Tsuki."

"Hmm," I hummed.

"We've trashed my living room, and it's driving me crazy."

We spent a small portion of an hour cleaning his front room, down to sweeping the floors clean. He is extremely clean for a single male. It was almost enough to drive me crazy. When we finished, he pulled me to him and kissed my forehead.

Things continued in that pace for three more days: playful banter, wild sex, random acts of gentle affection, and a few more marks of ownership. Deidara was a relief for me. He was a free spirit, yet serious enough to not make everything feel immature. There were moments when I would roll my eyes, but others when I just couldn't look away from him in surprise.

Itachi came home on the fifth day, early in the morning while I was still asleep next to Deidara. By then, I had taken to sleeping beside him. He didn't come to take me, which was a lucky thing for me. I didn't really look forward to Itachi finding out that I had grown so close to someone he was so competitive with.

I had woken up with Deidara leaving the bed that morning. We opted for a shower, vs. another run to the hot spring. When we settled down with coffee is when the front shoji slid open, and Itachi walked in.

I immediately dropped Deidara's hand, hiding my own under the table. He looked at me, startled, while slowly bringing his own away. Another sip on my coffee, and Itachi joined us in the kitchen.

He greeted us both, giving Deidara less emphasis than he did to me. He inquired about the stay from both of us, asking if I presented trouble, and asking if he needed to destroy Deidara. We both assured him that everything was fine, neither worried nor at complete ease. At least, I wasn't. I'm sure Deidara would have loved to just tell him everything, but I wasn't ready for that.

I finished my coffee before departing from Deidara. He smiled at me as big and as cheesy and irritating as he could manage. Before slipping through the door, I threw another cushion at him. Itachi chuckled at my side. "It seems that you weren't too bored with Deidara."

"I'm still here, aren't I?" I retorted. He had no idea how lively his "comrade" really is. I didn't think he wanted to know. "Besides, he's a little immature at time."

"He has his moments," he agreed. He led me through the streets, passing building after building. "I'm happy that you're safe."

"You don't trust him, do you?" I asked.

"I don't distrust him, either. Deidara is just another person within the Akatsuki." He continued further without any change in his demeanour.

The silence continued before Itachi broke it once more. "I thought you would have strangled him. You two were at odds when I left; all over a single strand of hair. How did that dissolve into what I saw?"

"Forced into close quarters with someone forces you to either kill each other, or learn to get along," I answered.

"So you learned to get along?" he inquired. He turned left down an alleyway, with me short on his heels.

"I to believe I have, yes."

He smiled; I could see it from the angle I was at. "So it would seem."

Later that day, Deidara sought me out. He was brought his mission assignment by Sasori to leave the next morning. He offered me lunch, and I took him up on it. It was a pleasant chat between us. He kept my hand in his under the table, alternating between kissing my palm and massaging my hand with his thumb, keeping it out of sight of the other members.

We then walked around the old shopping district (keeping a good distance from one another, yet sneaking soft touches and soft kisses once in a while) for a good portion of the afternoon. He explained to me the history of the city, and what it once was some twenty years ago.

Once we were back in his living room, I was supported by him sitting behind me, his arms wrapped around me once more. At the time, the silence was more profound than anything we could have said. He stroked my hair absentmindedly. I twisted the ring on his right index finger.

He pushed my hair behind my ear, exposing the bell Itachi always had me wear. He pulled the converted earring out gently, holding it in his left palm. "So this is his mark, hn?"

I leaned back and rested my head in the hollow space between his neck and his shoulder. "Uh huh."

He pulled his hand out of mine, stopping me from further toying with the ring. He sighed, exasperated. He slid it off his finger and pressed it into my hand. "You can't keep it forever, but when I'm gone, I want you to have it. Wear it under your glove, if you must." He slid off one of my black, leather gloves and slid the ring on my finger. It was very large on me. He looked at it and frowned.

"A little string around the band and it'll be fine," I assured him.

"You'll keep it safe for me?" he asked. "I feel naked without it."

I put my glove back on and curled up next to him. "Of course I will, but you have to promise to come back for it."

He put his arm back around me. "The ring?" he laughed. "I'm coming back for you." He placed a kiss on my lips tenderly. "You're my girl, now. Nothing can stop that."

I sighed.

"I'm not afraid of his reaction, Tsuki. I don't care what he thinks. I'm happy, you're happy. He should be happy." He brought my fingers to his lips. "Even if he doesn't approve, what can he do?"

"Kill us," I offered as response. "That's just an irrational, heat of the moment reaction. He could lock both of us in Tsukiyomi and torture us for days without rest."

"The worst he could do to me is hurt you."

I wanted to cry with that response. The last remotely steady relationship I had been in never paid off like that. Sweet nothings consisted of death threats and ill wishes.

Deidara then finished his thought. "I don't think he would hurt you."

"You're very sweet, Deidara-kun."

"Ne," he sighed. "Not too sweet." He winked at me. "I can't have you getting too spoiled. I do have to leave tomorrow morning, hopefully before you wake up."

"If I sleep tonight," I sighed.

He chuckled under his breath. "If you had your own room, I'd sneak in and spend the night with you. I love the way you curl up against me. The little noises your breathing makes; they're so sweet and cute. It'd be worth it if he did walk in on it."

"That would be nice, but he keeps me close at hand." I didn't mind sleeping next to Itachi. I didn't know how long he had to live, with Sasuke so bent on destroying him. It was added bonding time between him and me. It was nice to sleep next to a man and not be expected to put out. It got old and tiring sometimes.

"You could change that."

"I don't think I want to," I answered. I then explained my previous thoughts to him, reminding him of Itachi's reason for joining: to pass the time until he dies. I was going to lose what I had left as far as family ties go. He protested that I had Umi, or rather, Yahara as she goes by now. She wasn't really my sister. I didn't know her, we didn't have the sibling bond, and she hated me for not hating Hidan for what he did so long ago. Time and circumstance had driven us into separate people, too far apart to bridge the gap. Itachi was my brother, through and through, and even though I saw him as overbearing, controlling, and possessive, I knew it was because our time together was so short. Explaining that to Deidara just cemented that.

He looked me in the eye after I finished explaining. "Itachi makes you happy in ways I never could; and to be honest, I don't want to make you that kind of happy. I could never settle for a position to be your guard; not like a brother." He pulled me into his lap entirely, circling his legs around me as well.

"You can't have sex with your sister," I muttered.

"Well," he smirked, "it's only slightly frowned upon, ne?"

I shifted a bit and he lessened his grip. I turned around and faced him, wrapping myself around him, arms and legs. He settled back into his original position, resting his head on my shoulder. He continued to run his hands through my hair.

"You're obnoxious, Deidara."

He grunted. "You enjoy it."


	29. Stage Twenty Nine

_**A/N **__in response to the anonymous review, Gaara renounced his claim on Tsuki simply because he is short on time to devote to her when he has to take care of the Village. Pursuing the destruction of her just wasn't an ethical use of his time, nor did it really fit with the changes his character underwent with the transition from __Naruto__ to __Naruto Shippuden__. I tried to keep with the character changes in the storyline. As for Tsuki: She was never interested in Gaara to begin with; it was all a game to her. He amused her. Now that he took that away from her, she sees nothing to go back to. That's just her side of the fence. Gaara had his own motives for saying and doing what he did, I just never gave detail as to what those were. Maybe I will, now that you've brought that up… He will pop up periodically through the story, but he isn't going to be a main part of her life, simply because they walk two different paths. As for Orochimaru, we'll get to that in the next chapter or two. I am sorry for this long explanation. It seemed called for. ;)_

Stage Twenty Nine: Conversations

It took two days from Deidara's departure for the members to trickle out of the complex. Seeing as how there were only nine of them, it was a long time for them to deploy an exodus. It appeared that Yahara and I were the last ones left. Walking around thoroughly, I did notice that they took measures to make it rather hard for us to leave; apparently so did she. I encountered her, lying on the pavement, knocked out by the force of an explosion that had been set in place by Deidara himself.

After relocating her to Itachi's spare bedroom (which I had never seen prior to that day), I healed her most threatening wounds and woke her up. She blinked at me for a moment, and then wondered what happened.

After explaining to her that she tried to escape (rather poorly) and got herself blown up by a well concealed clay bomb, she then seemed to remember why she was being treated.

"It was a bug," she shuddered. "It was following me, and it was completely white. I tried to squish it, but it was too fast. When I got to the border of the city, it exploded."

I seemed to recall that my sister always had distaste for bugs. Deidara may have just turned that into a petrifying phobia. I sighed. "You really want to get out of here, don't you?"

"Why would I want to stay?" she asked. "I don't have anyone here like you do."

"Even with Itachi, I don't want to be here," I informed her. "Lucy for you, I know how to get out."

"You couldn't have told me that before I got blown up?" she asked.

I laughed shortly. "You should have come to me before getting out of here."

She arched her eyebrows at me. "I didn't know where you were! Kisame didn't exactly let me go anywhere."

"You're staying with Kisame?" I asked in disbelief. "God, that has to suck."

"He's the only one I could trust to not hurt me, abuse me, or kill me," she stated.

"It's sad that you trust him to begin with. I mean, I know the back story and all, but damn. Don't you have any self preservation? One of the first things he ever told me was how lucky I was that Itachi kept him from killing me." I rolled my eyes.

"You said you knew how to get out of here," she reminded me.

"You're right; let's get going, then."

We set out, and I kept my eye out for little clay bugs. I found several, but they didn't seem interested in following us. Well, me, I was sure. They were a part of Deidara, after all, and blowing me up would be rather counter productive. However, Sasori left chakura strings everywhere that both she and I could see, but would alert him if they were disturbed. Kakuzu likewise left some sort of wire trap that I didn't want to trip. Itachi left some illusions, but having trained my own genjutsu with his, I could see straight through them. She got freaked out, though. Something about Kankuro being blown to bits if she left. The other members left their own marks, but I didn't stay long enough to really notice.

I was worried about Zetsu's stay tactics. I was very suspicious of passing the plants, because I didn't know what he had used. We got out okay, though, avoiding everything that presented an obstacle. Once out into the winding river ridden ravines, we found ourselves wondering where to go from there. She wanted to go directly to Suna, because she needed to see Kankuro. However, I pointed out to here that Kisame knows about him, and would look there first. She should probably lie low for a while.

"Where will you go?" she asked me.

I didn't even have to think. "Konohagakure," I answered. "I had a previous mission there."

"You don't have a village, though," she recalled. "Kankuro said he didn't know where you're from."

"I'm an Otogakure konoichi, Yahara. I work for Orochimaru."

Her eyes widened as it all clicked into place for her. "You were behind the third Kazekage's death?" she asked.

"Not directly, no. I had very little to do with that messy affair. While that was being executed," I chuckled for effect, "I was in Konohagakure pulling strings for the Chunin Exams. I was there to scout out the city and gather intelligence on shinobi of interest."

"So you were just a spy placed?"

"Yes," I answered, jumping onto the various bows of trees, travelling back toward Konoha. "I was never told what my assignment proved, how I helped, or what it did for Orochimaru. He just wanted someone there to scout ahead and warn him if problems arose."

She followed, albeit a little clumsy on her feet. She had the general training of a shinobi, but it wasn't refined with a genin team the way it should have been.

"You know, you can finish your shinobi training, Yahara. I'm sure Gaara will allow you to train with Kankuro to finish."

"Then we would have to go to Suna. Come on, Tsuki, they're all going to be gone for quite some time. By then, Kankuro and I can travel and train, and you can return to Konoha. We have time," she pleaded.

I stopped suddenly, and she jumped ahead of me. "Fine, but if we get caught back into this mess, it's your fault, and you're getting us out." I turned around and back tracked to Sunagakure.

"I can agree to that," she answered. She then passed me in a frantic rush to get back to her boyfriend.

'If I ever get that way,' I thought to myself, 'someone had better impale me on a sword.' I felt the ring still pressed against my skin under my black glove. He said he'd be back for it. He said he'd find me. I just hope that won't condemn me for putting my trust into a criminal.

When we arrived to Sunagakure, it was dusk. The heat rising off the sand was a comfort for me; I was easily cold everywhere else but here. I truly am a desert cat. She and I checked in (with the same guys who stopped me last time, so it went rather smoothly) and went straight to our old house.

She looked around in awe. "I haven't been here since mom and dad died."

"I was here a while ago. This was where Hidan kidnapped me the first time."

She touched the vase of dried roses on the entry way. "They seem to always send him, don't they?" she asked. "For you, I mean."

"I don't think anyone else will do it," I answered truthfully.

She turned and looked at me. "Why is that?"

"I don't know. Everyone else would kill me?"

"Hidan surely would.," Yahara answered. "He is the one who tried, and succeeded in killing our parents. Jashinist, and everything," She muttered.

"I don't know, but he doesn't lay a hand on me."

Yahara looked at me. "Have you ever thought to avenge them?"

"No, not even once. It would be a waste of my time."

She looked genuinely offended. "Why not? They're your parents."

"Do you really think Mother would like it if we devoted our lives to destroying someone? Didn't she always tell us to do what's best for everyone involved? And what about Father? Do you think he would like us to waste our precious time on someone who wasn't worth it? He never wasted energy on revenge. Why should I? They wouldn't approve. Besides, Hidan is immortal. It'd be futile."

"I'm going to try to cause him as much pain as he caused us."

I sighed. "You haven't heard a word I said, did you?"

"I think they deserve better than that."

"What ever. Good luck, Yahara. If you can do that, then I will never doubt you again." I walked to my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed. Sleep was out of the question, but I felt better being home with her.

The next morning, I dragged her butt out of bed (she had no problems sleeping, it appeared to just be me) and out the door. I knew where the compound where Kankuro and Temari stayed was located. She was too groggy to be of much use.

I thundered on Kankuro's door impatiently. Clearly, by the shirtless state of the man who answered the door, Kankuro kept the same hours. He wasn't wearing any makeup, and his blue stripped pyjamas were a tad ridiculous. "G'morning, Tsuki. What can I do for you?" he asked, wiping sleep from his eyes. "Gah, it's early."

"I think this belongs to you," I stated, holding up Yahara's hand. "She's been talking about you non-stop."

"Yahara!" he exclaimed. I then had to wrestle my arm out of his embrace of her. I ended up punching him rather hard, separating them from me.

"We have something to talk about, Kankuro."

He looked at me, worried. "I have a question. Some blue guy took her away. Why did you bring her back, especially since that episode in the market."

"Not what we have to talk about, Kankuro. Hurt my sister, and there will be nothing left to identify your body with, understand?"

"S'okay."

Alright, it was way to early for him, clearly. His delayed reaction was evidence to that.

"Wait a minute; _sister_?" he repeated.

Yahara yawned, then replied, "Yeah, she's my sister. That's kind of why I reacted the way I did. I thought she was dead, but I kept hearing her name everywhere and thought she might have been an impostor."

Kankuro yawned after her. "I don't think it's possible to impose as Tsuki."

"Well," I interrupted, "as much as I would love to stay and chatter at you, one of us has to go tell the Kage that we're here."

Kankuro's eyes brightened. "Oh, that reminds me, he wanted me to tell you to go see him if I found you before you got there. Temari was told the same thing, so avoid her if you don't want to hear it again. We don't know why. Just get there."

A short walk and a waiting room later, I found myself in the Kazekage's office. He looked up when I walked in, his fingers met in a steeple under his chin. A smile soon lit up his face when he saw that it was, in fact, me.

"You came back," he whispered, almost trying to convince himself that I was really there.

"Yeah, Kankuro said you wanted to see me." I sat in a chair across from his desk.

"Last night I received the report that you came back. I wanted to know if it was true." He leaned back into his chair nonchalantly.

I couldn't believe him. "Are you serious? That's the only reason you called me back here?"

"I didn't know if Orochimaru had killed you yet. Why did you return with Kankuro's girlfriend?"

I rolled my eyes. "She's my sister, if that's okay."

His eyes widened slightly. "I didn't know you had any surviving family," he commented. "I'm happy for you."

"I came to return her to Kankuro. She's been tortured without him."

His eyes fell to the desk. "Oh," was all he said. "I see." He seemed a little disappointed.

"The village seems well," I commented, changing the subject.

"Yeah," he answered. "Things are very good here now that we're no longer trying to start a war with out neighbours."

I laughed lightly. "So it would seem. Wouldn't want the Kazekage to die unexpectedly because of someone else's take over scheme."

He smirked. "You're not aiming for my office, are you?" he lightly asked.

"Nah, government is not my forte. I'm happy being a subordinate for the rest of my life, thanks."

"I didn't think so," he answered. "It's good to see you again, Tsuki. I hope you can stay longer, this time."

"I'm afraid not, kage-sama. The Akatsuki don't know I've given them the slip, and surely they'll be looking for me here. I need to disappear for a while, at least until they've covered all the bases. On top of that, Orochimaru isn't happy I've been abducted again, I'm sure. Shit's about to hit the fan for me. Even more so with Yahara being with me. They found her as well, and I helped her escape."

He nodded. "And this is where I come in, I assume?"

"I'm sorry to drag you into this mess, Gaara, but you're the only one who can help her. She never graduated the academy."

"I never knew that. It's on her record that she's a konoichi from Kirigakure."

"Records can be faked, as we all know. She had connections in the office. He also changed her name. Kirigakure got its nickname because of the battles they force their students to go through in order to graduate; because of the nature of our parents' death, she refused to take another life just for the sake of her own advancement."

"I see. How can I be of service?" He brought his fingers together again and leaned forward on the desk.

I took a deep breath. "Yahara is Kankuro's girlfriend; this we both know. She wants to continue training, but needs a lot of personal instruction. Kankuro isn't really doing anything at the moment. He's getting a little stir crazy, if what she says is true."

"You want Kankuro to continue training your sister," he insinuated.

"It would give her the tools and training she needs to stand on her own two feet without needing him, me, or anyone else to look out for her when the Akatsuki comes knocking on their door."

"I see." He leaned to one side, supporting his head with his hand.

"I also think it would be beneficial to both her and the village if they travelled while they trained, as well. Give them missions that take them away from the village. Send them to negotiate foreign policies, help someone travel; anything that keeps them moving. Don't tell anyone where they are going. Don't keep any copies of their missions. Everything should be encoded; or better, off record."

'You're very concerned about her safety. She is your older sister, right?"

"Yes, kage-sama, but she isn't as experienced in the field as I, nor does she have the common sense to help her in a sticky situation. She looses her cool way too easily. I'm worried that she's going to get herself in over her head. She needs to be taught how to deal with these situations without getting herself killed."

"A valid concern," he answered. "I'll make sure that I do everything I can toward this situation, as a favour to you." He leaned back in his chair. "You're a friend, Tsuki. And as you pointed out, not acting could hurt my village. I would do anything for yours, and my brother's happiness."

"That means a lot to me, really it does."

He sighed. "I've come to realize the value of family. It's very important, no matter how callous you are."

I looked down. "I've been without family for the better portion of my life. Knowing that there's one left, no matter how incapable of taking care of herself she is, is special. I know I'll always have someone who understands the pain."

He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. "You have two people who understand what it's like to be alone in your life. I've always been here."

"Especially when you were determined to destroy me."

He blushed slightly. "I was a stupid genin. You have to understand that. My emotions were very passionate, even though I only ever expressed one side of the spectrum."

"Yes, hatred seemed to be your favourite emotion."

He chuckled. "Who knew I could change so much. Most of that was because of you." He smiled at the memory, something I never thought he would do.

"And the other part?" I inquired.

"Uzumaki," he replied. "He was put in the exact same situation that I was, and yet, he led an opposite life. He was surrounded by people who loved and respected him, cared about his wellbeing. I wanted that all my life. He showed me that you could push on and be strong when no one believed in you. He forced the entire village to recognize him as an outstanding person. He made them trust him."

"He always wanted to be Hokage," I commented. "You beat him to that goal."

"I didn't intend to compete with him. I just wanted my life to reflect his. He had such good intention, always taking care of those around him. I wanted to be that person."

"And you have become that. The whole village looks to you for their safety. What more can you want?"

"Someone to share it with,' he answered. His eyes were pure softness. My insides turned a little bit.

"It's been good seeing you, Tsuki. Unfortunately, I have a meeting in ten minutes. I'm sorry to cut this short, but you're here for a reason, and I won't keep you any longer. I'll call Kankuro in as soon as I get a free minute. Rest easy, Yahara is in good hands." He got up and walked out of the room smoothly, passing me without looking back.


	30. Stage Thirty

Stage Thirty: Havoc

Keep in mind that it took us a day and a half to get to Sunagakure. We were tired, and looking forward to relaxing before needed to head out. Yahara got the trainer she wanted, and Kankuro got the assignment to take her out and visit with some official somewhere, but wasn't expected to leave for another few days.

I was just visiting here. I spent my time wandering through the village market streets, or at the oasis with a book or my drawings. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Lunch was uneventful; Yahara joined me while Kankuro was doing paperwork for Gaara.

It was when I was sitting on the roof that night that things turned sour. I was looking up at the moon when I noticed an odd shaped shadow cross it. I admit that my heart skipped a beat when I realized that it was a clay sculpture. For a moment, I thought his mission was finished and he had come for the ring, which I had touched that moment. When he passed over me without hesitation, I knew something was amiss.

Nothing could make me look away. It was a mess, that entire night. I knew Gaara was his assigned Jinchuriki. I knew this was inevitable. I just didn't want to be there when it happened. The night lit up as the fireworks blared. Sand domed the city for an hour or two, and then shifted, and I knew the worst had happened. Running and shouting surrounded me, and Yahara kept screaming. I couldn't move. I couldn't think.

I watched the bird fly away, and heard Kankuro screaming and running after it. I wanted to join him. I wanted to be next to Gaara. I knew he had to die in order for Shukaku to be extracted, but I never stopped feeling that I could have kept that from happening.

A tear slipped from my eye. After everything I said yesterday about him dying. I jinxed him. All he did was love me without really wanting to. I didn't want him to die, not now.

His mission wasn't over. It had just begun.

I was there when Kankuro was dragged back into the village, a shell of life that was receding quickly. I was there when Temari and her group was shipped out to the far border. The elders were in a flurry. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. Not until this was over. I had to show my support somehow, even if it was just being here.

I did little things, such as patrols, watch shifts, paperwork, healing, supervising, and other random things that I don't remember anymore. Why should I?

It was a long three days. When I watched Gaara walk through the village gates, that's when I felt myself really breathe again. I waited for him in his living room, bypassing the parade and crowds, not to mention the noise.

"You're alive," I stated.

"You're still here," he repeated. "I'm surprised, and happy."

I smiled at him. "I couldn't leave the village in its time of need. Every person counts, right?"

"It means a lot to me." I found his arms around me once again for the first time in what felt like years. I loosely held him back, but didn't draw him closer than I should.

"Once again, I owe more to Naruto than I can say," he whispered. He released me. "I guess you'll be leaving, now that I've returned."

"I don't want to be the reason they come back," I answered. "It's for the safety of the village, Gaara. Yahara and Kankuro are planning to leave as soon as you say they can."

"I understand. I wouldn't be surprised if some of our neighbours used our weakness to their advantage. Another attack by the Akatsuki would seal our fate for sure."

"So you understand why I have to leave you."

"I'm alive to endure another length of time without your company, and I'll live to see you again."

I touched the ring under my glove, and he noticed.

"What's there?" he asked, taking my hand in his.

"An heirloom," I answered quickly. "It was given to me for safekeeping."

He let my hand go and smiled. "It couldn't have a more secure place in the world."

"Thank you, Gaara." I touched his cheek softly.

Otogakure~*~

I found myself thrown against a wall with a solid, pale hand at my throat. "What took you so long," Orochimaru demanded in a hiss. "You have kept me waiting. Our cover was nearly blown."

I was genuinely surprised that he wasn't pissed that I had left; just that I had taken far too long to return to him. "I needed to wait for the opportune moment, Sensei," I managed to inform him as he crushed the air out of my trachea.

He dropped me onto the floor, where I struggled for my next breath. "You disappoint me, Child. I have come to expect more from you."

"I will do better, Sensei."

He glared at me. "You'd better not have the chance to fulfil that promise, Child. My patience is short with you."

I bowed my head, "Yes, Orochimaru-sensei."

"Explain a few photos for me, Child." His tone had calmed down from a deep, throaty growl to a gentle purr. I knew I was in real trouble, now. The storm hadn't even begun. "At my desk, if you please."

I walked the length of the room and sat down in my chair. He laid the photos out in a single row, four photos in all. The first one was of Kakuzu with my back pack of things. The second was of Deidara, staring straight at the camera. He had a bemused smirk on his face, as though he knew something we did not. The third was Hidan, flipping off whoever was watching the footage (which was probably Kabuto or Sasuke). The last one was of me talking to Hidan in my study. I had no idea he installed a camera there. From the angle this was at, it was in my book shelf; or rather, it was. If he was showing me this photo, he had moved the camera.

"Who are these men," he demanded firmly. His temper was starting to show through.

"They're Akatsuki members," I answered, rather softly.

He slid Deidara's picture forward. "And this man; who is he?"

"I didn't know him when he was here. His name is Deidara."

"If you didn't know him, what was he doing in your wing; more specifically, you're bedroom?"

"That's a good question, my Lord. I have no idea what he was doing there."

He rubbed his forehead, exasperated. "It was his hair I found, wasn't it?"

"All the tests I performed were conclusive of that statement."

He glared at me. "There's something you're not telling me, Child, and it's irritating me."

Normally, something sarcastic and spiteful would wander out of my mouth, but his temper put my life in danger. I kept my silence, not knowing what he wanted me to say. It was for the best.

He got out of his chair and dragged me out of mine by my wrist. Sharp pain cascaded up my arm. He flung me back into the stone wall, leaving cracks around my body's indentation. "Your silence condemns you, child. Who is this man?"

"A terrorist bomber for hire," I answered.

He punched the wall beside my left ear, causing the stucco to crumble under the impact. "Try again," he growled. "Who is he to you, Child?" There was raw loathing in his voice, something I was not accustomed to.

He swung another punch at me, which I blocked out of reflex. He looked stunned for a moment, and then his anger increased tenfold. He swung a roundhouse toward my temple, which I displaced. His foot contacted the wall, which crumbled further. "How dare you," he spat.

He attempted another two kits and a kick to the stomach, which were all sequentially blocked. He picked up speed with his attacks, and I had to block a tad faster. When he stopped, I managed to land a punch to his chest. This just continued to piss him off, pushing him over the edge when he found it hard to breathe.

He gripped my throat again. I figured I was already in the hole with him, so I punched him in the jaw. I heard the crunch of bone under my knuckles. He jabbed at my shoulder, popping it from its socket. A wall of pain crashed over me, as my left hand was now useless.

He swung at me, right, left, and centre. With only half the ability to block, I took some heavy damage. Eventually I just kicked him in the stomach, sending him backwards. "Are you done?" I asked. "This isn't exactly my fault, you know. Just because some arrogant bastard shows up in my bedroom following two of his comrades, doesn't mean I had anything to do with it!" I kicked his breastbone in. "You can stop abusing me now," I growled.

He threw another hit at me. I grabbed his wrist and swung him into the wall, where my own body created an indent. "You have no idea just how far loyalty goes." I pounded on his shoulder. "I'll let you hit me when I deserve it. I'll let you chastise me when I've fucked up. I'll reap what has been sown, but this isn't my fault." I snarled at him, channelling all my frustration and fury into one feral glare. A low growl emanated through my body, vibrating my core. "Remember that, Orochimaru. You don't hold me here. I'm here because I'm loyal to you."

"Your loyalty has faltered, Child," he spat.

"Just as your guidance has; you're my Kage. You're supposed to keep this from happening. You've stopped deserving it." I released his wrist and walked away from him. Shocked showed on his face and it pained me.

I wound up in my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. My body was sore, my pride was wounded, and my defiance had peaked. This was not the end of it. He let me have my way. He wanted to see how far I would go. There was no way he would be so easy to hurt.

I had a dislocated shoulder, some cracked ribs, a fractured wrist, and more bruises than not. Pain was my friend that night. I didn't have the energy to heal it all, either. What had to be done, had to be done, though.

I shoved off the bed and walked to the wall. Setting my arm back where it should be, I fell on the wall with all my weight. I cried as I heard the pop as my shoulder painfully went back into its socket. I clutched my shoulder tenderly. That was another bruise to add to the list.

"You look like hell, Tsuki."

I looked up to see Sasuke standing in the doorway. "I don't have the time for this, kid. Nor do I have the patience."

He held his hands up in compliance. "I'm here to help you, okay?"

"Why should I believe you?" I asked. I propped myself up on my right arm.

He walked over to the bed. "It took a lot of strength to stand up to Orochimaru. Tomorrow is only going to be worse. You'll need all your strength if you're going to survive."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," I told him.

"You're not staying," he stated. He put a hand over my wounded shoulder.

I winced. "Would you?"

"I have no choice. If I had your freedom, then no, I would not." He sighed. "Who was that blond guy in the photo?" he asked. "I know that's who Orochimaru was upset about."

"His name is Deidara. I didn't know him then."

"That doesn't mean you don't know him now," he wisely stated. "You were gone for a while."

"Why do you suddenly care?" I asked. "What the hell, Sasuke; you've been acting weird, lately."

He got defensive at that. "What, can't someone give a damn once in a while?" he asked. "Is that a crime now?

"Yes," I hissed, "it is. And you know what? I don't give a fuck."

"God your language sucks. Every time you get back from the Akatsuki, the swearing always increases." He leaned back on the bed's plush exterior.

"How the hell did you get in here?" I asked, now realizing he should have been dead.

"Orochimaru disabled your traps. He was superiorly pissed that you were trafficking men in and out, so he gave Kabuto and me permission to come and go as we please," he smirked. "As long as you're here, Kabuto won't bother you, but if he had to pee, well… I'd clean your bathroom first."

I royally screamed like a banshee. Sasuke flinched and covered his ears. "That man is going to die," I growled. If I kept that up, my voice was going to get hoarse.

"Tsuki, calm down; you're shaking." He put his hands on my shoulders, and I winced in pain. He immediately let go of me. "Will you just let me heal you?" He pulled a jar out of a pocket hidden on his person. "This will speed your cell turn over. I can't do chakura work; I'm not trained to, but I can put this where you need it."

"Fine, but if you press too hard, I'm going to fucking punch you. This hurts," I snidely hissed.

"Yes, I know. I've received a fair share of his blows, but never this bad. He really does go easy on you when you're compliant, doesn't he?"

"Yeah," I answered, "he does. Don't fight back, and he'll reward you for it, I guess. Curbing his punches doesn't count as much of a reward, but it's something."

"Hn, I need both your shirts off," he commanded. "I need your bare skin. Don't look at me like that. It wasn't my idea to hit you where you were covered."

I complied with his demand after turning my back on him. Sasuke liberally applied the cream to all of my now surfacing bruises, the swelling in my back where my ribs were cracked, my wrist, and below my breast bone.

When he finished, he stated, "You should probably sleep. I know it doesn't end well for you, with things being destroyed and everything, but it would help your healing. Besides, those men cleared everything out that was important to you. You have nothing to lose." He screwed the lid back on the little jar. "How do you feel?"

"Sore," I answered. "Sleep sounds good, honestly."

"I bet it's been a while," he speculated.

"Two days," I answered. "That's not long at all; compared to the years I've gone before."

"You can sleep while you're in the hands of the Akatsuki?" he gawked. "Why?"

"Well, there are two parts to that, Sasuke, and one of them you're not going to like." The truth would set him off severely.

"I don't like you being in the Akatsuki to begin with. I can live with what ever you're going to say."

"I never said I was going to tell you."

He smiled at me. "Come on, Tsuki. We don't keep secrets from each other."

I shook my head. "Yes we do."

"Name one," he prompted.

"Gaara, for instance," I answered, "You having once loved me, for another."

He shook his head at that. "Nah, it was something we should have seen coming. Tell me anyway," he demanded.

"Sasuke, you're such a masochist. I hope you know that."

"It can't be that bad," he mussed.

"Horrible," I stated, "Absolutely terrible, in comparison to everything that I've done thus far."

His eyes widened. "Did you have sex with my brother?" he growled.

I laughed at him. "Hell no, Sasuke! That's just wrong, and gross; disturbing, really."

"Then it can't be the worst. You've done things that are on the same level," he informed me.

"Before I tell you, can I ask you a question?"

"Promise me you'll tell?"

"Yes, jack ass, I promise."

"Fine, then," he crossed his arms.

"How often did someone who wasn't an Uchiha wander onto the compound?" I went straight to the source: the one memory I had.

"Not very often, they didn't, unless they had reason to. It was pretty rare; mostly they were sneered at for being lost, or harassed for invading our space. Why do you ask?"

"Fugaku, he asked Itachi to look after someone once, didn't he?"

"I won't even ask how you knew my father's name. I never told you. No, I want to know how you knew that. Itachi never talked about her to us, let alone to you."

I sighed. "Well, Sasuke, how else would I know about it? He told me, and that's that." I folded my legs on the bed, trying to get comfortable.

"Why the hell would he tell you something that personal?" Sasuke asked, curious instead of angry.

"He didn't do it to inform me," I stated. "He did it to remind me."

Sasuke looked at me. And for the first time, I think he actually saw me. "You were that girl. You were there, ten years ago."

"Yeah, I was."

And then the yelling started. "And you never told me? It just didn't seem important to let me know that we had a shared connection, not once did you have the chance to inform me that you were _there?_"

"Sasuke, I didn't know. I'd forgotten nearly everything that happened between my parents' deaths and meeting Orochimaru. It was so bad that I didn't think there was time between the two events."

He just blinked at me. "You have serious problems with your brain."

"You didn't remember me either, asshole," I reminded him. "You were there, too."

"Hey, that was a traumatic event; I try to not think of my childhood much."

I raised my eyebrows, him having just proven my point.

"Fine, I get it. It was a bad time for both of us. What does that have to do with you sleeping when you're with the Akatsuki?"

"You really are dense, Sasuke. I can sleep because, on some subconscious level, I trust Itachi."

"So, when you're with someone you trust, you can sleep? Why can't you sleep here, then? Don't you trust Orochimaru?"

I looked at my shoulder, and then looked back at Sasuke. "I have to trust the person with my life, to protect me from anyone who would want me dead. Orochimaru is among the people I'm pretty sure will eventually kill me when he has the chance. I don't exactly trust him enough."

He shook his head again. "I think I'm starting to understand this. You not sleeping has nothing to do with what you are, right?"

"Right; the only variable that my origin plays with is how long I can go without going completely crazy.

"And this stems with your parents' attacks?"

"I think so, yes. There isn't anything else that I remember that would contribute to my complete distress with sleeping. My chakura just panics, and explodes."

"Hmm," Sasuke hummed. He fell back against my bed. "That sucks."

I kicked him in the chest. "You're a douche," I stated.

"What did I do?" he protested.

"You're laying on my bed," I stated, rather bored like.

He sat up. "Better?" he asked.

"Not at all; you're still acting funny."

"Gnah, fuck this." He got up and stormed out of the bedroom, throwing the jar at my head. "Apply this every five hours," he instructed, then turned and walked away.

I was left feeling just down right confused.


	31. Stage Thirty One

_A/N: I know, I'm getting pretty liberal with these, when I said it was usually a one time thing. I want to let you know, that even though you think I'll get into grotesque detail with this, I won't. I can't bear to do it, simply because I don't condone the acts that will be done. It's VITAL to the story that you read this. _

Stage Thirty One: Show of Force

We entered that pattern for a week and a half, the three of us. Orochimaru and I would end up fighting for dominance, he would get increasingly less lax in his defences with every bout of violence, always showing he was still stronger, and Sasuke coming to heal me and staying for a little chatter. Sasuke seemed a little more at ease with me now that I was becoming defiant. I guess it puts to rest the chance that I was faking being his genuine friend. I've come to see it as an apology.

Orochimaru started drinking on the second day in. It started with a shot every night before he went to bed, but cascaded into two or three by the fourth day. Eventually it got to an entire bottle while he was working, not even waiting to finish his day. His temper was hell, volatile against anyone who walked in while he was downing sake. I would watch him when I was forced to work in his study, which was increasing as time went on. It was his way of keeping me on a short leash.

I was right; the first time we fought, he had let me unleash my fury to see just how far I would go. I restrained myself some, but not a whole lot. It was just at the end, when I came to terms with my actions. If I continued, I was just as unforgiving and relentless as he was. Could I live with myself, knowing I was on the same level as the monster that holds me?

It came to me eventually that love can be shattered so easily. What many see as the strongest bond really is as fragile as glass. I feel nothing but hatred for that man. I can't bring myself to want to touch him without feeling his blood on my fingers. What a horror story this has become; I can't bring myself to tell you all the gory details of this dark hour in my journey. I can't even force myself to remember.

The violence had a pattern to it, as it became a regular thing for Orochimaru to disable my left hand. It irritated me, not because my right was any less powerful; I had become ambidextrous over the years to prevent profiling in my enemies. Every time I punched him with enough force with my right hand, the outline of Deidara's ring shone crimson. There was one time when I could even read the backward symbol, "ao," clear as day. I was always afraid he would discover my secret.

Deidara was the only thing I clung to, other than Sasuke's newly forged companionship. I constantly twisted the ring around my finger, feeling its warm pressure there. It never left my body, not even when I showered. I couldn't depart from it. I knew in my mind that I should leave it somewhere safe, somewhere Orochimaru would never find it. Surely he would destroy me if he knew the truth. Not only was Deidara the man who infiltrated my room with no reason, he was Orochimaru's replacement. That just added insult to injury.

I didn't ever intend for it to be that way. It just happened. I despised the entire Akatsuki save for those two men: Itachi and Deidara; both of which could equate to the same animosity in Orochimaru. He wouldn't give a damn if it were Hidan, Sasori, or even Pein himself; but those two… They were the darkest sin I could commit, and yet, the only ones I could trust.

By the end of that week and a half, Orochimaru was so drunk he was deadly, and I had given up on fighting him. I knew that if I continued, I would die. He no longer cared for me the same way he once did. Our relationship would never be the same. Sometimes, I wanted to forget all of this and go back to the way things were between us: Sensei and student. I knew it couldn't ever be that way. If it did, we'd just end up where we are now, regardless of circumstance. I was too free, and he was too controlling. He would never be satisfied relying on loyalty alone after this, because I showed him what power it had over me: it didn't have any. I still fought back. I still rebelled. I destroyed any trust he had in me. I was useless now; or so I thought.

A few nights after the violence died down, Orochimaru approached me. He had a syringe full of what appeared to be blood, and I could smell the sake on his breath. There was evil in his eyes that night. It terrified me.

Sasuke was away on a mission he didn't want to perform. He knew being away from me might get me killed. I hated being so dependant on him, but after relying on only me for so long, it felt nice to have someone I could count on. He left me with worry in his eyes, and fear in his heart.

Orochimaru didn't say a word to me. He just took my hand forcefully in his and dragged me out of his study. I didn't resist. I followed him throughout the compound and remained as silent as the grave. Thoughts of death ran through my mind; I knew my days were numbered, but I wasn't ready for it to be over so soon. There were things I had never done, people I wanted to see one more time before I went. Would Deidara have to pry his ring from my cold, dead finger? I wanted to burst into fearful tears.

Instead of ending up in some cold, dark execution chamber, I was staring at a familiar bed in a familiar room with two familiar screens. "I'm afraid I don't understand what's going on, Orochimaru-sama."

He regarded me for a moment. "It is time for your purpose with me to be fulfilled, Tsuki." He took my arm in one of his hands, injecting the syringe into a vein with another. I felt a rush of dizziness come over me as Sasuke's blood entered mine. Understanding hit me in a wave of panic. There was no way I could go through with this, not with him.

As though he heard my very thoughts, he produced his sword from nowhere. "Go change, Child, and if you dare try to escape me, I will pin you to the bed by blade."

He had been plotting this for some time, as my usual robe had been replaced with something lacy and entirely too sheer to be of any practical purpose. I felt uncomfortable with the garment on; exposed and vulnerable. My fingers shook as I fumbled with the sleeves of the negligee. The lace caught on Deidara's ring several times, pulling the delicate threads out of their pattern, and I wondered where I could hide the piece until this hell was over. My kunai pouch seemed suitable.

I looked in the mirror, and instead of feeling beautiful and sexy beyond any shadow of a doubt as I would if it were any other man asking me to wear this, I felt small and ashamed. I still had a bruise or two that blended in with the black lace all too well, invisible unless you looked for it. Then again, I figured that's why he wanted the lace. He didn't want to see the damage he had done. He never cared for lace before.

I could tell by the grunts he was emitting that he was getting pretty impatient with waiting for me. 'To prolong this is only making it worse,' I had to tell myself. 'I am a shinobi; a konoichi. I can handle this. It won't be as bad as watching my parents die.' A tear escaped from my eyes as I put one foot in front of the other, taking the first step to my condemnation.

His eyes grazed on my image for a moment that lasted forever. They moved slowly across my shoulders, chest, and downward. I looked away from him. His hand brushed under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I flinched.

He flung me onto his bed with rage that flickered to life in one minuscule moment, reacting to the fear and insecurity I had displayed. Knowing what was about to come, I forced my body to do something extremely dangerous; something I had never done with someone else in the room before. I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke up what had to be hours later. Orochimaru was slouched against the farthest wall, body riddled with shrapnel. The negligee clung to my body with sweat, both mine and his, and I could smell his release in the air. I was disgusted, and disappointed that my chakura didn't explode until after he had finished. My mind would eat away at myself for weeks until the result of his 'experiment' was either confirmed or denied. I felt dirty, and cold.

A quick check confirmed that his heart was beating and he was still breathing, barely. He had taken the direct shock to the chest, so his ribs were shattered, but beyond that, he would be fine. The shrapnel was just cosmetic damage for him. He could heal it all in no time.

The room was riddled with broken glass, splintered wood, and dust from the walls and ceiling. Both the screens were knocked over, the nightstands upended. I contemplated moving him for a brief moment, but decided against it. With my clothing and belongings gathered, I fled the scene quickly and silently; I didn't want to be around when he woke up.

Once inside my own wing, I assessed the damage. I was sore in all the expected areas, plus I had welts the exact size and shape of his hands on both of my hips. Those would bruise over rather quickly, and be very dark. There was no hiding that through the mesh shirt. It also felt as though he gripped my shoulders through part of it. They were sore, and one of the collar bones felt snapped. There were bite marks on my neck, and what looked like a poorly placed hicky. No doubt he didn't notice I wasn't awake.

I pulled my knees in under my chin and wept for a moment, allowing me to wallow in my own grief. I always pictured this assignment to be one of glory and happiness; in truth, if Kimimaro were still alive, it would have been. He would have been gentle, soft, and loving, if loving were possible. It would have been beautiful, and our children would be perfect.

Looking in the mirror, I was displaced by the red eyes that stared back at me. Somehow, the third stage of the Sharingan was activated, even though I have had no time to advance and perfect it.

The shoji slid open and I tensed for the worse. When I saw the silhouette, I eased. Sasuke had returned. "Tsuki?" he called to me.

"I'm here, Sasuke," I answered. I tried my best to keep my voice calm, though I could still hear the hurt I tried to hide.

He walked over to me, closing the shoji behind him. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw the damage through the sheer, lacy veil that poorly covered me. "What has he done to you?" he whispered. Instead of healing me, he pulled me into his arms. I saw his every movement before he made it, which made me nauseous.

"How do you use this without getting sick?" I asked, curling against him.

He looked into my eyes and understanding hit him; he knew what happened. "You get used after a while," he answered, "but by then, you'll revert back to your normal self. You don't keep foreign blood very well."

"That's probably a good thing," I answered.

He rested his chin on the top of my head. "You really are strong, Tsuki."

I released a sob. "I don't think so. He got to me, didn't he?"

"He can get to us all," Sasuke answered. He started rocking back and forth, doing his best to comfort me. "You did more than any of us could have. You lasted a week and a half, which is a monumental feat."

"You're really bad at this, Sasuke." I turned into his chest, smelling the raw Uchiha smell that both brothers share. Sasuke's was less musky; sweeter. The shared base smell comforted me, though.

"I'm sorry, Tsuki. I didn't want to leave you. I was afraid you wouldn't be here when I got back. I don't know how to comfort you; this is new to me."

I tried to laugh, but a muffled huff was all my body would allow. "I would hope this is new to you, Sasuke."

He looked down at me. "I shouldn't have been angry at you for all this time. I was stupid. Now I'm all you have left," he sighed. "I'll kill him for this, Tsuki. It'll take time, but he will fall. When he does, know it was for you." He pressed his lips against my forehead. "Now we're even for the Gaara thing," he whispered.

"Sasuke, I-"

He pressed a finger to my lips. "No, listen to me. I know there's no chance. I've screwed that up pretty damn well. Besides, I have my priorities." He smiled at me. "Doesn't mean I can't get even with you, does it?"

"As long as that's clear," I stated.

Once it became apparent that I wasn't going to destroy anything else, including myself, Sasuke deemed it time to heal me. I aided him in using chakura to heal the bones, infusing his energies with mine at half the cost to both of us. Beyond that, the bruises, which brought a blush to his face when he applied the gel cream to it, were left to heal on their own, as well as the cuts and scratches. The hicky was removed without me even asking, or aiding. It may have angered him on a scale similar to the violent act itself. It was a mark of possession.

He looked at my hip suspiciously. "There's a hickey here, too. It looks old." He met my eyes. "Should I take care of that one, too?"

"No, leave it," I quickly answered.

His eyebrows furrowed. "It isn't Orochimaru's, is it?"

"No, it isn't."

He shook his head at me. "Was it Itachi's?" he asked me.

"No, Sasuke," I sighed. "I've told you where I stand with your brother."

"Then it has to be Deidara's," he muttered.

"Ne; why do you assume it's his?" I asked.

"Orochimaru speculates things."

I looked down, angry and upset again. That man will be the death of me, even if Sasuke is going to kill him in my name. Orochimaru was going to get to me first.

"Is it his?" Sasuke asked, seeing his error.

"Yes, it is. Are you happy?"

"Not Deidara, too," Sasuke sighed. "How many men do I have to kill for hurting you, damn it?"

"He didn't hurt me, Sasuke. It was consensual."

He just sighed in response. "Better him than some, I suppose. If he does hurt you, I swear," he stated, trailing off to imply his intentions.

"I think I can manage Deidara on my own, thanks. I'm not that pathetic, boy. I can kick your ass, after all." I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

He smiled at me. "Good to have you back, Tsuki. I've missed you so much more than you could ever know."

"Sasuke, can I ask you a favour?" I asked softly.

He looked at me. "Sure, ask anything you want."

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

He wrapped his arms around me once more and answered, "Sure. Sleep all you can, Tsuki. I'll be here for you. He won't come back for you with me here."


	32. Stage Thirty Two

Stage Thirty Two: Escape

Sasuke

Being as I was with her all night, I tried to stay awake as long I could. I admit I was nervous. She explained to me before what happened when she slept without someone she trusted nearby, and it didn't seem pleasant. However, there was a good side to seeing her sleep; she looked so peaceful and at ease. She wasn't growling at anyone, Orochimaru's hurt wasn't written on her face, and she wasn't hiding anything. This is the most natural I've ever seen her. I was happy to be there.

I'll own up to my words; I couldn't really stay angry with her. Watching her risk her life this past week has opened my eyes; she wasn't his tool. I was wrong about her. That isn't easy to come out and say. She never had any plans for me. I was just an innocent bystander to her. It's unfair to everyone involved how quickly love can turn to hate. I shudder to use that word. I don't enjoy being tied to anyone in such an emotional way. I'm just relieved it was her instead of Sakura or Ino. At least she has the common sense to not return it. I could only hurt her in more ways; never as deep or as terribly as Orochimaru, but pain is pain, no matter which way you look at it. I want her to be happy and lead a normal life. She can't do that with me.

She can be my friend, no matter how dangerous that might be. So long as I don't place her above Naruto, I don't mind it. I could never bring myself to kill her in cold blood. Keeping my distance is a way to protect her from my need to do what has to be done. If I'm going to avenge against Itachi, I need the Mangekyo. She knows that this is what I will do. She's known all along. I can't go back on it, just because she's close to him. I've devoted my entire life to being stronger than he is. Just fathoming not doing this; what a waste…

So, in a way, hating her has kept her alive. If I needed to, there's no doubt I would have used this time of weakness to obtain the final power of the Sharingan. It's like we're starting over with our friendship. I didn't think second chances were possible for me; how quick she is to forgive one crime, when another has been committed that is ten times worse. I wonder if there is anything in the world that can be done to make what Orochimaru did look tame. I really hope there isn't. There has to be a point when things can only get better.

She stirred in her sleep every so often, and it never failed to startle me. I was a live bundle of nerves being wound so tightly, it was painful. I kept shifting myself, trying to relax there, but I couldn't. I was in danger both by her explosive chakura, and Orochimaru's volcanic wrath. That night wasn't exactly easy for me.

Eventually, I did fall asleep next to her, leaning against the headboard. I kept that side of the bed neat, lying on the duvet the way I did. Her side was thrashed thoroughly from her uneasy sleeping and continuous shifting. It was sometime around three in the morning when I woke up. Something settled outside the room, and that alarmed me. I tensed myself, pulling a kunai from her pouch on the side table. I got distracted by a ring that was caught on the blade, but I just dropped that back on the wood.

Tsuki

I woke up to the weight on the bed shifting under me. I was being pulled somewhere, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. I was too tired to put two and two together, not that I had anything to go off of.

"Sasuke," I whispered.

"Shh,' someone whispered, "he's not here. It's just me."

I blinked twice, trying to focus my eyes. The effects of the Sharingan had faded to nothing more than a red tint around movement, but it was still disorienting. I looked into the face of the man holding me, but couldn't see him properly. I was not happy with this.

My nose told me the truth of the situation. I was in Deidara's arms once again, and he was okay. Pieces of his scent had changed, but it was him. I was sure of that. It was a relief to me. If there were ever a time for me to need someone like him, it was then. He saw me for whom and what I was, yet still sought after me. Needless to say, I was happy to be in his arms.

"Where did he go?" I asked, remembering his promise to stay beside me.

"He left when I came," Deidara chuckled. He put a hand on my cheek, where I felt a kiss being placed. "I told you that I'd be back, didn't I?"

I smiled at him. "Yes, you did; but I didn't believe you."

"Good thing I proved you wrong, then, hmm?"

"You have no idea," I muttered.

His face fell from the happy smile and playful banter to sorrow and seriousness. "I do know," he whispered. "Sasuke told me everything that happened. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

I looked confused. "You couldn't have done anything to stop this."

He blinked at me. "I could have taken you away from here. I know I told you I'd never take you back to the Akatsuki against your will, but there are other places I could help you hide in; places he would never look for you."

"I don't know how I would take to Iwagakure," I stated.

"If it helped you survive unscathed by his hands, I'm sure you wouldn't care. I'd know where you are, Itachi would know where to find you, and you'd be safe, damn it."

"Orochimaru would find a way. Once our guard would be let down, he would slither in and wreck havoc on everything. Iwa would be destroyed."

"Then we would move you." He wrapped his arms around me tighter. "I can't let anyone else violate my girl. I shouldn't have allowed him to touch you."

"It was a plan that was laid before you or I was ever born, Deidara. He always had a dream of a genetically perfect generation of Shinobi. I was just his first choice in breeding stock."

He looked at me, horrified. "How can any man look at you and see merely breeding stock? How can any man want to use you as a populating tool?"

"Greed," I answered. "Sasori revealed that to me."

Deidara's face fell further. "Sasori is dead," he murmured. "He was killed by Lady Chiyo and Sakura Haruno. I don't know if you heard that, yet."

I put a hand on his shoulder. "You and Sasori were never close, but I know how hard it is to loose a comrade."

"It's an occupational hazard," he sighed. "We move on. He was a pain in the ass, always complaining about being kept waiting. Always criticized my art, he did. 'Art isn't temporal. It should be everlasting, something to withstand the passing of time.' Utter bull shit." He let loose a small, "Hn."

"I see," I mumbled under my breath. It was common knowledge to me that they didn't get along. It was one of the first things I learned about Deidara when I first got there.

"How about we get you out of here, hn?" He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, smiling at me.

"Deidara, I have to stay here," I stated. "If I leave, Orochimaru will kill us both."

"How will he know?" he asked, rather naively.

I held up the picture of him leaving my bedroom. "He has cameras everywhere. Even in here. If he were awake, he'd know you're here now."

He considered that for a moment. "Then we have to leave. He'll know I was here. He gave you hell for it the first time, ending in this. What will he do when he learns that you're my girl? Besides, I can't just leave you here to be killed. I told Itachi I'd take care of you, damn it, and I'm going to."

I blanked. "You told Itachi?" I asked, in shock.

"As soon as I got back," he answered. "I told you before, I won't hide it from you. Besides, he already knew."

I just stared at him. I couldn't believe he'd do that.

"So are you coming, or shall I drag you out of here by force?" he smirked.

There was a knock at my shoji before Sasuke re-entered the room. "You're running out of time, Tsuki. Orochimaru is coming to. Get out of here."

"Sasuke, I can't just leave you here," I stated.

"Why not? He won't kill me. He needs me alive, for now. I'm his next body, remember?" Sasuke smirked. "Please, go Tsuki. Don't make me regret not killing him." He pointed at Deidara.

"As if you could take me, ne," Deidara retorted. He then looked at me. "We still have your things at the compound. We can return to get them, then go wherever you want to. The world is yours after this; just promise that you'll still be mine."

I looked at him, unsure of committing to him. "Alright, let's go, Deidara. There's no point in staying here."

He grabbed my clothing off the floor. "You might want to change. That isn't exactly something I want the world to see you in. Actually, I don't even want to see you in it, knowing what it's for."

He then looked at Sasuke. "Thanks, kid. You've probably saved her life by not attacking me."

"That's the only reason I didn't. I see the way she looks when she talks about you. Keep making her happy, and I won't track you down, got it?"

"You're one hell of a punk." He looked back at me. "Go change; the sooner we're out of this hell, the better."

The compound

The first thing I noticed when I got there was the scent of someone I didn't know, but smelled faintly… _Uchiha-like_. I couldn't place who it was, but I would bet he was somehow related to Itachi and Sasuke. After inquiring about the newcomer, Deidara just stated that he got a new partner, and that he was annoying as hell. His name was Tobi.

It didn't take long before he popped up, invoking Deidara's wrath to be unleashed. There were punches thrown and swearing to be had, which made me wonder who this kid was. Regardless, I left them where they were and went forward, seeking out Itachi.

He was home, just as I thought he would be. He looked up when I walked into his living space. "Tsuki, I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"I didn't think I'd be back, either." I sat down beside him, leaning against him. He loosely wrapped an arm around me, confused.

"Do I want to know how he did it?" Itachi asked, referring to Deidara.

"Being here was better than being with Orochimaru," I answered. "That's all there is to it. I'm officially a missing ninja, Itachi. I'm never going back."

"Your file says you're a leaf shinobi. You've been a missing ninja for years," he informed me. "Maybe it's time to fix that?"

I looked at him for a moment. When I filled in my file in Suna, I did say I was affiliated with the leaf. I've been missing ever since. "I think you're right, Itachi."

He just looked at me and smiled before turning back to his work. "I have your backpack still, if you want your belongings."

"That's why I'm here, Itachi. I don't think I'll stay very long."

"I didn't think so," he answered. "You'll be back, though. Pein won't be happy knowing you were here without even saying hello to him."

Itachi's sense of humour was a twisted one, for sure. "Maybe I'll stop in on my way out," I mused.

He chortled quietly. "Where's Deidara?" he asked.

"Tobi's holding him up," I answered. "They're out fighting in the streets like common criminals."

He smiled lightly. "What's your opinion on Tobi?" he asked me.

"He smells like an Uchiha," I answered. "Other than that, I don't have one."

Itachi just looked at me as though I had said something strange. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, he shares the same base smell as you and Sasuke," I answered. "It's a little like smoke."

"You associate that with all Uchihas?" he asked.

"I haven't met an Uchiha that doesn't have that smell," I answered.

"All the other Uchihas are dead," he stated. "You wouldn't know if they smelled like that or not."

"Exactly," I answered. "That's why I associate that smell with Uchihas. You and Sasuke are all that's left, unless this Tobi person checks out."

He rolled his eyes at me. "If you say so, Tsuki."

"I do, Itachi." I folded my arms across my chest. "I'll figure it out, mark my words."

"They've been marked." he answered. "When are you leaving?" he asked.

"I think I'll spend a few days here with you and Deidara, and then I'm going back to Konoha."

"You plan to stay under the radar?"

"Of course, Itachi," I replied. "A capture now would put a damper on my plans. Orochimaru knows I'm here. He has murder in his eyes, Itachi. The sooner I get to Konoha, the better for me."

'Does anyone there know about your tie to Orochimaru?" he asked.

"Only one person," I answered. "I told him to explain everything to the Kage, but he failed to do so."

He sighed. "That could prove to be a problem. Is he hostile?"

"Not particularly," I answered. "He wants to spar, only to see how our prowess compares."

He arched his eyebrow. "Who is he?"

"Hyuuga Neji," I answered.

"Hyuuga, you say? First or Second Branch?" he asked, familiar with the family.

"Second Branch," I answered. "That's all I know. He saw through me the day I approached you and Kisame in Konohagakure."

"Yes, the Byakugan would be able to see your very unique chakura. If you had blue chakura like everyone else, you have been alright. Are you sure he hasn't told anyone?"

"It's been years," I answered. "I don't know what he's done. When I left him, he told me I could always come back to Konoha, and no one would ever know about Orochimaru. However, I'm sure the Hokage would need to know."

"That might be a good idea, especially if he becomes a threat." He squeezed me for a brief moment. "I support this idea, and promise not to tell Pein when you leave. Let him find you on his own. I'll keep your secret."

"That means the world to me, Itachi. Thank you."


	33. Stage Thirty Three

Stage Thirty Three: Finale

As I finished, my attention was returned to the constant beeping of medical monitors, the slow throb of an IV in my hand, and the sounds of the breathing of the two people who stood before my bed. "This is my story; everything that happened from the Chunin Exams to now. Beyond what happened those last few days with Deidara, I have not hid anything from you, Lady Hokage. Do you have questions?"

Tsunade-sama sighed. "Fortunately, for the length of that story, you gave answers to every question that popped into my mind as you went along. I have no doubt in the validity of your tale, having known Orochimaru for most of my life; your recital has been pretty accurate to my memory.

"Thanks to Sasuke, your condition isn't critical; you have minor injuries, but nothing that can not heal given time. I have also concluded, and it came to quite a relief to me, as well as it should to you, that you have not conceived.

"Your information on the Akatsuki and Orochimaru has proved to be valuable indeed, and I am only disappointed that I didn't hear of this sooner." She turned to Neji, standing between my bed and the window, facing her. "Why did you not come forward when the possibility of an attack came to your attention?" There was suppressed anger in her voice, attempting to keep the calm out of respect for my current conditions.

"I refused to believe the prospect of the event in question. I knew nothing of this girl. Even with the proof of her protector plate, I refused to accept the possibility. I was more focused on her being emotionally unstable at the time. She was running away from something, or someone. By the time I realized the extent of her truth, Orochimaru was already upon us, and Sasuke was gone. To tell anything then would only make us her enemy, when clearly she needed a stable place to turn to. We are her ally, and have always been. I saw no reason to turn our back on someone who showed interest in helping us, even though the action was in vain."

Tsunade took in his answer, while regarding us. Neji had placed his hand on my arm sometime in the telling of what happened; something I had not noticed. I was told he was the only steady visitor I had since being admitted to the hospital in Konohagakure. I was sent flowers as soon as word reached the Kazekage, but they had wilted and been replaced several times before I woke up. Temari would come by when she had time, but that was rare.

Lady Hokage sighed again. "Now the only question remains is what to do with you. You betrayed this village, but clearly the punishment for treason would break our alliance with the Sand." She looked at the many vases on my night stand. "Keeping you here would risk bringing the entire Akatsuki down on this village, but sending you back to Suna would only move the problem there. An attack on our allies is as bad as an attack on our own soil. If you were left to Orochimaru, he would kill you, and no doubt Lord Gaara would raise hell for allowing this to happen. If you were given to the Akatsuki, then the tailed beasts would be controlled solely by them, which cannot happen at all costs. Trusting you would be just as hazardous as not."

"Lady Hokage," Neji interrupted, "Tsuki would be a fine asset to our Anbu Black Ops squadron. Her chakura levels are unmatched by any shinobi I have seen. Placing her with our highest level of shinobi would ensure that she is safe from the Akatsuki, and using her to protect this village would keep them from wrecking havoc. Orochimaru and Sasuke would be led straight to our gates. Instead of exposing ourselves to go to them, force them to come to us on our terms. The advantage would be with us. She has an intimate knowledge of how they work as a team, and can expose their weaknesses. If we have any hope in achieving a victory, it would be with her by our sides."

Tsunade looked at him. "You're risking quite a lot for her, Neji. She betrayed your village, and you're going to the trouble of keeping her alive and in the very place she nearly destroyed. I cannot deny the validity of your suggestion, but I still am unsure if she should be trusted."

"She is here, isn't she? Everything she just told us proves that she no longer feels obligated to serve that monster. Does that not give enough reason to trust her?"

Tsunade sighed for the third time. "Don't disappoint me, Neji. If anything backfires, you're responsible. She is your charge now." With that, she left the room, leaving Neji at my side and myself to ebb away into the darkness. For the first time, I felt safe enough to succumb to sleep. I had a home, I had a purpose, and I have a friend.

Neji was still there when I woke up again. He smiled at me lightly. "You're awake."

I nodded. "How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Long enough," he answered. He put his hand on my arm again. "I knew you'd come back, eventually."

I looked him over. He sported new garments, and these suited him more than the boyish outfit he wore when I saw him last. His hair had grown even longer, but kindness now could be seen in his milky eyes. "I guess I knew I'd end up here when I left the first time. I've been a missing shinobi ever since."

He looked mildly surprised. "How can that be?"

"When I went back to Suna, I was presented my file from when I attended the academy there. I filled in all the blanks they had, listing the Leaf as my affiliated village. I was defiant of Orochimaru then, and they'd know I wasn't theirs. They may not have had a Kage, but they did have ways of verifying that information."

"They wouldn't put forth the effort to check it, especially since you left wearing a leaf band. It would make sense to them, for that to be true."

I sighed, leaning back against the pillow of my hospital bed.

"Lady Hokage says you're free to go when you wake up. We can take you home, if you'd like."

I smiled. "I would like that," I answered. I pulled the IV out of my hand and got up from the bed. I felt a little weak from the travel; or maybe the events had caught up to me, and I was finally feeling their weight. Regardless, I felt heavy. "Let's go, Neji. I'm tired of being here."

We walked out into the streets from the hospital. I wasn't familiar with this part of the village. He led the way, for the more part. I didn't know if he knew where my apartment was.

He looked at me. "May I ask a personal question, Dentsu-san?"

The honorific took me off guard, suggesting the nature of the question could be a little offensive. "Go ahead," I answered.

"About Deidara; do you love him?"

"No, I don't. Why do you ask?"

He smiled at me. "You told me love wasn't a part of your destiny when I saw you last. I just wondered if maybe you'd changed your mind." He looked at me cautiously. "You realize we have to take him out, right?"

I sighed. "Yes, Neji, I know he will die for his crimes." We reached the edge of the Hyuuga compound. "That doesn't stop me from enjoying his company."

"You're on our side now. It can't be that way anymore. Likewise with Itachi; they're the enemy. They will be destroyed, one way or another."

"I've always accepted Itachi's death as granted. Deidara's will just have to join it. "

"I'm glad that's settled," he stated in a rather final tone of voice.

"I'd better be going, Neji."

He smirked at me. "Do you have somewhere to go?"

"I have an apartment not too far from the academy. I'll show you where it is sometime." I returned his smirk.

"You'd better not forget."

"No, Neji. You'd better not forget, "I rebutted, looking him in the eye. "You owe me a sparring match."

A grin spread over his face. "I remember all too well. There's daylight left to burn, Tsuki-chan. Let's kill two birds with one stone and settle this once and for all: who's stronger, me, or you?"

"You're on, Neji," I growled playfully. We walked toward my old apartment, laughing the whole way there.

**FIN**

Now that the story is over, please feel free to tell me what you thought of it. I love reviews! I might return to it after Sasuke has taken over the shinobi world as we know it, but then again, I might not. Needless to say, I'm open to suggestions. Please, feel free to comment here or message me. I'm on pretty often, so let me know and I'll respond. Also, feel free to read any of my other stories, as there will be an onslaught of new material added to my profile on a regular basis, both short, one-five chapter stories and lengthy ones such as this. Thank you for your time. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. This has been Love Me or Die.


	34. Closing Trivia: The Facts You Never Knew

After years of work, the story is finally over. Well, sort of. I worked really hard to develop Tsuki and Yahara. I have all of these useless facts lying around that were never even _mentioned_; nope, not once. What good does it do to have them, then? Well, for starters, it gave the characters a level of depth that they wouldn't have otherwise had. I just thought I'd share them with you, just for shits and giggles.

Tsuki Akuma Dentsu

Her name means Legend of the Moon Demon, playing off the fact that she is incapable of sleeping.

She's originally left handed, but because of its rarity as a trait, Orochimaru forced her to become ambidextrous (This was actually made evident in the story)

Though her kunai pouch is kept on her right thigh, her sword is consistently slung over her left shoulder; she never uses it with her right hand (At least, she shouldn't have, it's in my notes).

Her chakura is both Wind and Fire, reflecting the villages she chose to call home

Due to her chakura combination, she has figured out how to absorb the shock of explosions and redirect their energy to another target.

She claims fealty to both Suna and Konohagakure, refusing to choose between Tsunade and Gaara.

The sword she uses early on in the story contained gems from a bracelet that her mother had given her in the hilt.

Due to some extent of his own foresight, Orochimaru built an immunity to Sasori's signature poison in her.

In the original version of the story (which I dismantled, dissected, and destroyed), she was in love with Gaara and Itachi, as well as Orochimaru. Itachi was never a familyesque person. Also, Pein intended to seduce her into being his lover, and Konan tried to kill her out of jealousy. The love connection Sasuke had with her (but wasn't returned) was also stronger, and more evident throughout the story. He never originally turned on her. I think it turned out better this way. (You can see why I didn't go with it, yes?)

Pein's plan for Tsuki was to use her power to bind all of the tailed beasts back into one monstrous being. He figured that having Yahara as a back up plan would suffice, but didn't anticipate her not being a completely trained Shinobi.

Tsuki is a Scorpio.

Her favourite colour is crimson, because it is the most passionate colour, whether it's in love, jealousy, anger or hatred.

She loves spicy foods. Likewise, she hates bitter foods. This was specifically to make her relationship with Neji difficult.

Tsuki's hobby: flower arranging; it's a subconscious tie to her dead mother.

Yahara Usami

Her name really doesn't mean anything. It just rolled off my tongue that way.

While her previous relationship with Kisame is rather well known, she also had a kindness similar to it in regards to Zabuza Momochi. It was never mentioned, but he also is very protective of her, and was the one who convinced her not to participate in the graduation battles.

She's right handed.

Her chakura is green tinged.

Her chakura types are Wind and Water

She never knew Hidan was her godfather.

I thought about making her Hidan's bastard child as a result of his relationship with their mother. That failed on me, as it didn't fit with Hidan's personality.

I used my own God sister to sculpt her character's personality. I couldn't get her just right in the beginning.

In the original story (Yes, the one I dismissed), she had joined the Akatsuki in order to prove herself just as if not stronger than Tsuki. Her entire character was bent on bettering her sister.

She's a Taurus.

Her favourite foods are all sweet (her favourite fruits are peaches), and she can't stand sour things. This is a play off of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen's surnames being derived from fruit.

Tsutsuji Dentsu: Tsuki and Yahara's mother

Her name literally means Azalea

She was a brunette with deep blue eyes.

Her name was never mentioned once in the story (double check if you think I'm lying)

Yahara was born when Tsutsuji was only seventeen, making Tsuki nineteen years her senior. Back then, Hidan was only fourteen. Also, at the end of the story, Tsuki was also nineteen, to symbolize the completed cycle between starting point and ending point.

She was trying to reform Hidan when they were "dating." She was disgusted with his Jashinist tendencies.

Her marriage with their father was actually arranged when she was a baby. She had no say in it. She also chose to not tell Hidan out of fear of his reaction.

She's a Virgo.

She's allergic to nuts.

She was known for her desert flowers, keeping rare blooms alive even in the desert heat.

Atakai Dentsu: Their Father

Name is derived from Atatakai, which literally means cold, or cold to the touch.

His relationship with Tsuki was something I spent the most time developing, mainly because it was the main factor in why she latched onto Orochimaru the way she did.

He was the first thing she forgot about her past; he made a point to be away from his family as much as he possibly could.

Tsutsuji's relationship with Hidan was considered as a betrayal to him; in his eyes, it was an infidelity. She already belonged to him, and had no business being with any other man while she waited.

His views on love are nearly identical to Orochimaru's.

He's an albino (not the kind with red eyes, the kind with blue eyes).

If you have noticed, Tsuki has a thing for guys with long hair: Itachi, Orochimaru, Neji, and Deidara. This is because Atakai's hair comes down to his own waist.

He's a Gemini.

He also enjoys hot foods. It was his liking for spicy foods that inspired Tsutsuji to create her signature curry, which Tsuki made for Hidan in Otogakure.

Random Information

A lot of changes happened when I decided to make the story take place through the time skip. Originally, the story took place entirely within the chunin exam arch. Could you imagine how chaotic that would have been? The reason I used the time skip is because I had _years_ to play with, and a whole lot of grey area where not a lot is known, yet still has enough structure to support a story like mine.

I had toyed with the idea of there being a third child: a toddler brother. I then thought of making him an older brother. In case you haven't guessed, he became Itachi.

Tsuki and Sasuke hated each other while they were young children on the Uchiha compound. Sasuke was extremely jealous of Itachi's one on one attention with her, even though Itachi had no choice.

Fugaku Uchiha was fascinated with Tsuki's ability to mimic and learn fire jutsu. He secretly hoped that she would eventually become an Uchiha through marriage. That's why I went against Sasuke's initial reaction: hatred. I had no way to express this desire.

Fugaku also saw her as a weapon that could bring Konoha (and the Uchiha clan) back to its former greatness (when Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senji founded the village).

Though they were never a part of the story, Sakura and Ino played a HUGE role in the forming of Sasuke's and Tsuki's friendship. Just shortly after arriving to Konohagakure, Ino used her unrelenting tormenting in attempts to gain dominance, causing Sakura to follow suit, not wanting to be surpassed by her own rival. Tsuki, simply following orders to remain unnoticed, didn't react. Sasuke was standing right there, and was the person who (though against his own will and intent) provoked Ino's show of dominance. It was a scheme to gain his attention. Worked rather smashingly, didn't it?

Kiba and Tsuki can't stand to be in each other's presence. She finds him obnoxious, and he finds her haughty.

Tsuki and Kakashi are equally nervous about each other, not trusting the other at all.

Well, that's all I can share with you for now. Yes, there's so much more to this story; so much I have left unsaid. It's far from over. I'll come back to it one day, I promise. For now, you'll just have to keep to the edge of your seats. It'll be worth it. You'll get to know Tsuki and Yahara again, a couple years from now. Will Tsuki find love? How did Neji fare in their fight? What about Yahara and Kankuro? Who knows? Oh wait, I know. That's right. It's gonna be big.


	35. Preview: Stage One

Alright, my beloved readers, I can't keep the suspense up anymore; mostly due to the boost in comments that were begging for more. I've been working on getting the rough draft down for more than a year now, and I'm already getting to where I can't keep it back much longer. So… I am going to give you a little bit of a sneak peak of what to look forward to in the sequel to Love Me or Die: Death by Your Love. Everything you came to adore about Tsuki is back.

I know I left a lot of things to question, many of which you guys have already picked up on and made comments about: Tsuki's relationship with Itachi, Deidara's sudden bouts of affection, what's going on with Neji, what's left of her and Gaara, why the sudden drop off of an ending? I was hoping, (and I know that many of you did) that you would see through me as a writer and realize I was planning another round. It wouldn't have all fit into one story anyway, and as the majority of Love Me or Die took place during the grey area of the break between the series, I'm picking right back up in the Shippuden. Without further ado, I give you the preview to Death by Your Love.

Stage One: Negotiations

Tsuki walked through the market of Sunagakure without purpose. Vendors called their wares to her, shoppers bustled around her unmoving figure. She dismissed them without much notice; she was busy staring up at the large, gourd like building. She still had hours to burn.

XxX

Neji ran his fingers through his hair and sighed as he turned his gaze to the streets within sight of the window. Gaara looked up at him from across the long, oval table, where Neji's pale eyes reflected in the dark wood, full of concentration and thought. Neji barely caught a glimpse of crimson hair.

Gaara cleared his throat. "Should we take a break, Hyuuga-san?"

The rasp of Gaara's voice brought Neji back to Earth, though his pale eyes did not break away from their target. "Perhaps that would be wise, Kazekage-sama." He felt distracted, and his mind had gone numb from inactivity and boredom.

Gaara followed Neji's gaze through the plate glass and beyond the shops below. Neji observed the look of distain on Gaara's face through his reflection in the glass. "I believe you're right," he sighed.

Neji rose to his feet silently, straightening his stack of papers into their file before he left. "I think twenty minutes ought to be enough, Kazekage-sama."

"That sounds fine," Gaara mumbled. He rose from his desk and followed his cohort out the door, feeling a twinge of regret as he watched Neji's retreating back.

Neji attempted to ignore Gaara's obvious staring as he watched Gaara get smaller through his Byakugan. He took the stairs one at a time as he passed through the corridors and into the baking sun. Just as she hadn't in the last ten minutes, Tsuki hadn't moved from her spot in the sun. He didn't understand how she didn't fry in this heat. Surely she couldn't still be used to it?

Tsuki heard Neji before she saw him, and upon shifting her gaze, she knew without asking how his meeting was going. "Is it that bad?" she asked with caution.

"I've never endured anything more awkward," Neji stated in a flat tone, as though he was commenting on nothing more interesting than the weather. "Thank you for warning me."

Tsuki shrugged her shoulders. "If it helps at all, I'm not looking forward to my meeting, either."

Neji looked down at his feet. "I don't understand it; if we're on good terms with these people, if they're our allies, then why do we receive so much hostility?"

She folded her arms across her chest with sour frustrations. ""There are still raw emotions among us." She looked up at the Kazekage's office.

"From what little of your encounters with Gaara you informed me about," Neji began, "I can understand the tension between the two of you; what does your past have to do with me?" He followed her gaze to the top windows, where the Kazekage stared at the pair of them openly. He didn't even shy away when Neji made eye contact; he blinked once, but that was it.

"Gaara doesn't even know," she answered truthfully. "I think he's mostly stuck wondering who you are."

Neji shifted his gaze away from the Kazekage's stare. "I'm Neji Hyuuga," he answered flatly.

She rolled her eyes as she continued to stare up at Gaara. "You're missing the point, Hyuuga-san."

"It's getting unprofessional," he whined, looking her in the face.

She finally looked back at him. "I understand that, but Konoha needs for us to get through this mission with the treaty still intact."

Neji sighed as he looked into her violet eyes, nearly a full head's height below his own. "I think it would help us both if you saw him, and soon."

Her shoulders dropped in submission as she sighed. "I suppose you're right; the least I can do for our village is try." She looked up into his eyes. "You should go, he's waiting for you."

Neji glanced back up at the window of the conference room. From the corner of his vision, he could see Tsuki wave up to Gaara. He returned the gesture with a smile. "He still adores you," he concluded. "It makes things difficult for me." He took the first step toward the office, unwillingly leaving her behind in the market.

XxX

Tsuki walked into the Kazekage's office while he and Neji were in another recess, but Gaara wasn't there. She knew she ought to turn around and leave, but she couldn't get her feet to cooperate. She had twenty minutes before her own appointment, and Gaara started again in a half an hour. Neji would return shortly before they started, so she was granted at least ten minutes before she had to leave. Surely she could find the use of her feet again before then, right?

"I was starting to think you were avoiding me," Gaara's voice behind her stated softly. "I can't tell you how relieved I am to know this is not true."

"Our schedules haven't been forgiving, I'm afraid. Even so, I'm supposed to meet with Temari soon." She smiled politely. "It has been a while."

"Two years," he answered with grief in his sea foam eyes. "I would hope things are much less chaotic for you."

"Very much so, yes," she answered, "Though Tsunade-sama still doesn't trust me."

He walked over to his desk and sat down, his back to the window. "She sent you to handle our negotiations, didn't she?"

Tsuki sat unceremoniously on the corner of his desk, twisting her body to face him. "She only sent _us _because you had specifically requested me being here."

"I don't remember requesting Hyuuga. Is his attendance necessary?" He leaned forward, resting his chin on his intertwined fingers.

Tsuki sighed heavily. "I told you, the Hokage doesn't trust me alone. He's here to make sure I don't go AWOL."

Gaara regarded her through cynical eyes. "It seems he's doing his job well; he got you here in one piece. How long has he been assigned to you?" There was a razor's edge in his voice as he made unvoiced accusations.

"Ever since I gave my loyalty to Konohagakure," she answered tentatively. "He's the reason I had the option to return there at all."

Gaara regarded this in silence for an extended moment, chewing over the thoughts and questions in his head.

"Don't let your emotions cloud your judgement, Gaara. Our villages are relying on us." She looked deep within his thought filled eyes.

"It isn't my emotions I'm worried about," he admitted, "It's his." He stared back, seeming to look deep within her soul.

She removed herself from his desk slowly. "He doesn't have emotions, Kage-sama." She walked slowly toward the door, the accusation weighing heavily on her shoulders.

"Tsuki," Gaara softly called to her, with pain laced through his cracking voice.

"I need to go; I'm going to be late. I can't afford to give your sister another reason to attack me. She hates me enough, as it is."

He regarded her explanation just long enough for her to get to the door. "My door is always open to you, Tsuki, here or at home. You are not a stranger. Please, don't feel the need to behave as such."

She hesitated for a moment longer. "I'll try to make it over later," she stated.

"Don't bother to bring your guard dog," he nearly hissed.

"I'll see what I can do," she answered.

He watched her shut the door as she walked out. Before the door had a chance to latch shut, his mind was already buzzing with the turn of their conversation in comparison to their previous interactions. Something was weighing her down; something she wasn't telling him. He despised feeling like she was hiding something. It sparked that deep, dominating curiosity he held for her that lay dormant within his soul.

Well, darlings, that was the beginning of a new era for the old cast. We'll see how this one turns out, shall we? Feel free to leave your thoughts and anticipations, requests and questions in the comments section. I'm still in the editing and composing phase, so any ideas won't be dismissed without being processed first. Looking forward to our next encounter, though, you must forgive the repetitive nature of sequels. I'll try to keep the back tracking to a minimum.


End file.
